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A FTM transgender guy is someone who is transitioning from female to male. People who are assigned female gender at birth but they strongly identity with the opposite gender are FTM transgender. They usually choose to undergo medical transition at some point in time. But there is no clear cute norm with regard to that. There are some who skip medical transitioning altogether.

Irrespective of whether they have undergone medical transitioning or not, it is very important for a FTM transgender guy that society perceives him as a man. If that does not happen, it can aggravate the feelings of gender dysphoria that already exist in him. And this is not good for his mental health. It is also important from a romantic point of view since sexuality is deeply connected to a person’s gender identity. So, if he wants to join a trans dating site or a FTM dating service, it is important that he is confident of his manly image.

For guys who choose to undergo the Hormone Replacement Therapy, it is relatively easier to pass off as a man. They usually get bi-weekly injections from the doctor. Besides, there are numerous other ways of getting injected with hormones; it can be through gels, patches and many other ways. Some FTM trans guys will also get testosterone treatment which will work on their faces in a way that gives them a more masculine appearance. It would also make their voices somewhat heavy and manly.

Then, there are some who would choose to go even a step further and undergo chest reconstruction surgery. This surgery specifically flattens out the chest area to give the chest a masculine appearance. Then, there is the bottom surgery performed in order to remove the vagina and create a penis for the transgender man.

However, there are some who choose not to have these treatments for certain reasons. And for such trans men, passing as a man in public might be a bit more challenging. Then most FTM trans guys start coming out even before medical transitioning. This is important because you can’t just wait for the treatment to show effects and then come out. You got to tell society that you are a guy even before.

The whole process of coming out as a man publicly can be quite intimidating for a FTM transgender guys. But with certain tips, you can conveniently pass as the guy that you already are.

Use a Binder

The biggest source of gender dysphoria in FTM transgender guys is the chest area unless they have had the top surgery, of course. So as a trans man, if you haven’t had the top surgery yet and want to flatten out your chest area, the best option for you is to buy a medical binder.

Medical chest binders are easily available online and come in many different styles. There are also plenty of commercial chest binders available in the market these days. It is important to buy the right size though. If you bind your chest using a binder that is a bit too small, it might create difficulties in breathing and you will end up having pain in your shoulders and back.

Trans men who don’t quite want to go for a medical binder can also bind their chest using a sports bra. In fact, using a sports bra is quite a safe way to bond your chest with minimal risk of side effects or injuries. Some FTM trans guys would also use layering to bind their chest using a shirt or bra layering.

However, according to experts, you should not wear binders for longer than 8-12 hours. Also, you should avoid sleeping while wearing your binder. It is also important to have a day off in between once in a while. You have to make sure that you aren’t binding everyday in order to avoid any side effects.

Following these tips, you can happily use a binder to flatten out your chest area. And this will certainly increase your confidence and make people notice you as a man when you are out there in public.

Make use of the Packing Technique

Now, packing is a technique that trans guys make use of to give the illusion of a penis. It basically involves putting something in your pants to mimic the appearance of the bulge created by male genitalia.

Packing is a great way to enhance the self-confidence of a FTM transgender guy who hasn’t had the bottom surgery as yet and increases his chances of passing as a man. After all, sexuality is a very important part of your new gender identity. So, it is natural that you want to simulate the whole experience of having male genitalia.

These days there are so many commercial packers available online. These packers come in different materials and varieties including silicone. And the best thing is they are more or fewer replicas of male genitalia. However, for a trans guy who is new to the whole experience of packing, it is best to try a simple technique first. He can just use a rolled-up sock and place it properly at the right spot inside his pants. It’s way cheaper than using a commercial packer and he can try it out and decide for himself if he likes the whole experience or not.

Learn to Project a Masculine Appearance

This is the key to passing as a male in society. With pro masculine body language, your chances of passing as a man increase dramatically.

The first step of building this masculine image of yours as a FTM trans man is to get used to wearing a man’s clothes. When it comes to clothing, everyone has a different approach that suits them. Some trans guys like to go with oversized clothing to get that super manly look. If you perhaps wear a shirt size larger than usual, your shoulders might look bigger and slightly bulkier. But there is no rule really. Well, fitted clothes can also give the impression of a chiseled, toned masculine body.

The important thing is to find men’s clothes that go with your personality and eventually develop your own style. Once you start getting used to male clothing, behaving as a man will also start coming naturally to you. You can also check out profiles of trans guys on transgender dating websites and see what they are wearing.

Now again, there is no manual really that can teach you how to behave like a man. You just have to closely observe men in public places – the way they walk, the way they sit, how they move their head while talking, the tone of their voice while they are speaking. You can also interact with other trans men through a transgender forum and take their advice.

To begin with, one thing that a FTM transgender guy can focus on is sitting. Generally speaking, men tend to literally spread their legs wide apart while sitting. They sit in a very authoritarian position taking up a lot of space with legs as wide as possible. So, this is something that you can begin practicing as a trans man. It is easy to remember and also simple to practice.

Do not feel compelled to fit into a Box

As a FTM transgender guy, the way you want to protect yourself is totally your call. It depends on your personality and orientation. Many trans men have fluid general identities, that is they are Pansexual. Now Pan Sexuality can be defined as a sexual or romantic attraction towards anybody irrespective of their gender identity.  So, if you classify yourself as a pansexual trans guy, then you lay down your own rules. You don’t necessarily need to then get into the entire masculine discourse of heterosexuality.

A FTM trans guy can also prefer to date gay men. Or he may prefer to go the cis guy way, dating heterosexual women through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app. So, one has to understand that even as a FTM transgender guy, one can have fluid gender identities and that’s totally cool. The way a trans man wants to project himself is totally his call. He might just want to meet single women through FTM trans dating site or a transgender dating app or he might just want to date gay men.

Get Inspired from the Lives of Well-Known Trans Men

There are so many trans men icons who have fought societal prejudices and stereotypes to emerge a winner and live a successful and fulfilling life. If you want happiness, you have to go through the grind and find it out. You just can’t run away from problems and struggles. A FTM transgender man can take inspiration from the lives of famous and successful trans men. This will do wonders to his own image as a trans man and show him the way forward. You can go through a transgender blog to gain insight into the lives of famous trans men.

So many movies have been made about the lives of trans men. There are also movies starring trans men. Most of these movies depict the problems faced by transgender youth. These offer a realistic peep into the world of trans men.

There was the iconic movie ‘Becoming Chaz’ that was released in 2011. This movie was based on the life of Chaz Bono, the son of Cher, who has also penned down a book on his multiple experiences as a transgender man.

Then there is the 1999 movie ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ based on the life story of Brandon Teena, a young trans man who was murdered in 1993.  And it’s so important to mention the contribution made by the legendary Buck Angle in the field of trans awareness. He is a filmmaker, speaker and advocate. He also stars in a documentary made about his own life.

Then there are other famous movies incorporating trans issues such as Just (2002), Call me Kade, Boy I Am (2006) and About Ray (2015).

As a trans man, it is very important to know all about various issues faced by transgender folks and how so many trans heroes have fought out these issues. As a FTM trans guy, you can also join an online transgender forum and communicate with other trans men.

All this will increase your awareness of trans issues and strengthen your identity as a trans man. Knowing that there are so many like you who have fought societal prejudices and emerged a winner, you will no longer be afraid to live out your identity.

As a MTF trans woman, one feels like they have gotten a new lease of life after sex reassignment surgery. It is a precious phase in a trans woman’s life. Her mind is undergoing a heady cocktail of diverse and confusing emotions and her heart is in a state of flurry. She is perhaps looking forward to joining a trans dating site or a transsexual dating site to look for the love of her life. She is definitely on cloud nine. But she is also somewhat anxious. A trans woman is anxious because she wants to be the best possible feminine version of herself. And sometimes she doesn’t quite know how to go about it. She has had a hard time literally battling for her identity. And now although she has come out in flying colours, there are things and aspects about being a woman she must learn. And in the process, she has to undo a lot of unconscious behavioural traits and characteristics that she has gotten so used to because of her past identity.

Being an elegant woman is not just about makeup, fashionable clothes, footwear, jewellery and accessories though. Femininity is a way more complex concept that takes time to understand and master. Of course, being super well-groomed and dressing like a woman is the first step towards cracking the femininity code. But just getting the feminine look right isn’t enough. A trans woman needs to internalize the body language of a woman, she needs to assimilate the essence of femininity at a rather subconscious level and that’s the challenging part.

But it’s not impossible. Following the right tips and suggestions, she can certainly grasp the essence of femininity and apply it to her own life. This article lists out a couple of points that a trans woman should keep in her mind during her journey towards embracing femininity.

Understand Femininity

Femininity has some tangible and some intangible aspects. Now, the tangible aspects are easy to crack. As a trans woman, you start wearing the right clothes that suit your body type and accentuate your femininity. You keep an eye on all the latest trends through fashion magazines and regularly check out your local women’s apparel stores. You learn the art of applying makeup and also master the craft of creating the right look by adding the right accessories to any given outfit. All these things you can learn. But the difficult part of femininity is the intangible aspects. And unless you have cracked those, it’s only half the battle won.

A woman is beautiful not because she has the right makeup on or because she is dressed up perfectly. She is beautiful because she feels beautiful. Even when she has just woken up, there is such a soft allure to her body and facial expressions that it can melt the heart of even the toughest of guys. Even while she is casually sipping her morning coffee and there is not a trace of makeup on her face, her smile can light up an entire room. Her beautiful tresses falling carelessly on her forehead can inspire poets and artists to madness. When she lifts up her head and looks at someone, she is loveliness personified. This is the essence of femininity that a trans woman has to imbibe. She has to feel from the core of her heart that she is feminine and beautiful. And then her entire being will begin to radiate with the aura of femininity.

Embrace the hidden Values of Femininity

Femininity is also about a lot of values that make the world a beautiful place to live in. Kindness, compassion, mercy, all these are feminine values. A trans woman seeking to appear more feminine should also learn to imbibe these hidden values of femininity in her day-to-day behaviour.

Let’s try to understand this through an example. A trans woman has met a potential love interest through a trans dating app or a trans woman dating site. She goes out on a date with that person. They go to some café and the waiter spills the food on her dress by mistake. This is of course an awful thing to happen but how she handles the situation will tell a great deal about her femininity. Now she can respond to the same situation in different ways. She can either shout at the top of her voice and abuse the waiter. Or she can take control of herself, appear calm and dignified and tell the waiter politely but firmly that it’s ok but he should be careful in future. Which of these two reactions would make her appear more feminine? Obviously, the latter one and her date would be impressed with her femininity and gentle behaviour as well.

There is no manual that can teach you how to understand these hidden values of femininity. You just learn along as you go deeper into your journey of embracing femininity. Just remember that kindness and compassion are eternally beautiful qualities that only a true woman is capable of.

Adopt Feminine Grace in Your Movements and Voice

This is something you can actually learn as a trans woman. You can go through a transgender blog or join a transgender forum where you can learn from other trans women the art of adding feminine grace to your bodily movements. You could even consider joining a grooming class where the basics of feminine body movements are taught. If you can’t find such a class in your local area, you could always try and find a virtual one.

The first thing that a trans woman has to learn about feminine body movements is that she has to learn the art of restraining her body movement. So, if you just barge into a room, it won’t appear very nice and feminine. On the contrary, if you walk as if you are just sliding effortlessly, your feminine aura and grace would be just noticed by everybody. There is a certain delicate rhythm in feminine body movements. A woman doesn’t just fall into a chair. She sits down gently and gracefully. Similarly, when she walks, her body movements have a graceful, almost effortless rhythm. She never sits with her legs apart. That’s one golden rule to follow. You should always sit with legs as close together as possible in order to appear more feminine.

A trans woman who has just gotten a date through a transgender dating site is also concerned about her voice. It’s natural that she wants to sound feminine and all but it’s not so easy to discard her old voice. There are specific voice training classes that a trans woman can attend where she will basically be taught tips and tricks on modulating her voice in a way that would make it sound softer and feminine. She can also consider practising singing. Singing wonderfully opens up the vocal cords and once you start singing the higher up notes, that feminine, sweet clear voice would just come to you naturally.

You can also practice your feminine speech with a friend. And it really helps if that friend is honest and they give you the right kind of criticism so that you can improve. You can also consider practising your feminine voice in front of a mirror or even with your phone selfie camera. This would also make your body language more confident and you would also learn to project the right facial expressions while practising feminine voice.

A Woman’s Handbag speaks a lot about her Femininity

A handbag is a very important accessory for a woman. You would rarely spot a woman without a stylish and ultra-chic handbag. So, if you are coming out as a transgender woman, do spend on a collection of cool handbags. Your handbag should mirror your femininity but you shouldn’t go overboard with experimentation, at least at the initial stage. It’s best to start with classic and chic handbags in solid colours. As you get used to carrying one, you can get more experimental with your choice of a handbag!

For a trans woman who has just started dating someone through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, it is very important to perfect the right look. Makeup, clothes and accessories can help her ace that looks. But the look is incomplete without the right handbag. The contents of a trans woman’s handbag are equally important. A lady’s handbag is a reflection of her femininity. If all items are arranged neatly within the handbag, it tells one a great deal about her aesthetic sense and neatness. On the contrary, if her handbag is shabby with all sorts of things literally spilling into each other, it speaks of an untidy and slovenly disposition.

Some ‘must include’ items in a woman’s handbag are hand sanitiser, lipstick or lip gloss, facial mist or facial wipes, deodorant, a compact mirror, feminine hygiene products (tampon), safety pins, a notebook and a pen and last but not the least, some cash.

Gender transitioning in a transgender person is a complex process. There are two main components at work here, social transitioning and medical transitioning. Social transitioning involves coming out as a transgender in front of society. It means asserting one’s new gender identity. So, someone who was born a male biologically will assert their gender identity as a trans woman and vice versa. Social transitioning often begins before medical transitioning. In fact, some transgender folks prefer to live out the life of their new gender identity without making any physiological changes. Instead, they adapt to their new gender by dressing up, voice projection and by trying to adopt the mannerisms and behaviour of the gender they feel they belong to.

But a vast majority of transgender people undergo some sort of medical transitioning. For a trans person who was assigned female gender at the time of birth but feel that they are male, medical transitioning can go a long way towards helping them balance their life and relationships. Having a body that stands at odds with the gender he strongly identifies with can be a source of acute distress to a trans man. This can induce feelings of gender dysphoria; a state where a transgender person’s biological gender becomes a source of agony to them and they even strongly desire a change in the sexual and bodily manifestation of that gender.

Medical transitioning can indeed offer a new lease of life to a trans man undergoing gender dysphoria. It can also do wonders for his love life and relationships. If he wants to date somebody through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating app, he no longer has to worry about her biological characteristics standing at odds with his new gender identity.

Whether you are a cis woman wanting to date a trans guy through a trans dating site or a layperson curious to know more about transgender people, it is important for you to understand the basics of female to male gender transition. Once you understand the kind of transformation a trans man goes through in order to embrace the male gender biologically and socially, you’d be able to appreciate and understand him in a much better way.

This article lists out the most important components of female to male gender transition.

Gender Reassignment Surgery begins with Hormone Therapy

There are different kinds of procedures and treatments involved in gender transitioning from female to male. Gender Reassignment Surgery is the blanket term used for all such treatments.

In female to male gender transition, medical transitioning usually begins with hormone therapy. During this therapy, the transgender person is giving the male hormone testosterone. Hormone therapy is used to induce physical changes in your body so, in the case of a female transitioning to a male, it will induce the biological characteristics of the male gender in their body over a period of time.

Once you are administered hormone therapy, you start noticing increased body hair growth as well as facial hair growth. You might also notice the loss of hair on the temples. Receiving the male hormone testosterone can also deepen your voice, giving it a more masculine texture. However, if you are into singing, your voice might start cracking for a while and you might lose your singing range while you are transitioning. Male hormone therapy can also thicken your skin, thus making you more tolerant of cold.

Testosterone would also stop your menstrual cycle. This would generally happen within three months of receiving your dose. It will also increase your sex drive as well as appetite. Experts say that if hormone therapy for female to male transition begins before the changes of female puberty start, then female biological characteristics like the development of breasts can be avoided altogether.

Mastectomy or Top Surgery

Mastectomy or top surgery is the most common surgical procedure for trans people undergoing female to male transition. In this procedure, unwanted breast tissue is removed in order to flatten out the chest and give it a more masculine appearance. Depending upon your body structure and specific needs, the surgeon can utilize a number of techniques to achieve the desired results.

Many trans people undergoing female to male transitioning opt for Mastectomy as the only surgical procedure. The reason for that is that it is a very safe procedure and one that can be performed by a relatively large number of surgeons.
 

Facial & Body Masculinization Surgery

Now, this is an optional procedure. Trans men who desire a close to perfect and well-chiselled masculine face can opt for Facial Masculinization Surgery. This surgery utilizes a range of techniques and procedures in order to give the face a more masculine contour. A combination of techniques like cheek augmentation, rhinoplasty, forehead lengthening, jaw contouring, etc., can be utilized, depending upon your specific needs.

Body masculinization surgery can be used by those who are looking for the perfect male physique. This surgery utilizes a broad range of techniques to target fat deposits in those specific areas where the female body usually accumulates fat like thighs, breasts, buttocks, etc. The liposuction technique is then utilized to transform your feminine hourglass figure into a masculine body type. The sought-after masculine body type involves broad shoulders, a super flat stomach and little or no fat in the lower part of the body. The surgery tries to replicate this kind of body structure for you.

Facial and body masculinization surgery can be great for trans men who are looking at dating someone through a transsexual dating site or a transgender dating app. Looking like the perfect guy you dreamed you always were can do miracles to your self-confidence. However, it is important to maintain this great body through proper diet, exercise, adequate water intake and ample rest.

Bottom Surgery

Bottom surgery is the final step in your transitioning process from female to male. Also known as Gender Confirmation Surgery, this type of surgery involves the construction of a penis through the procedure of phalloplasty or metoidioplasty. Before undergoing this procedure, a trans person might wish to undergo a hysterectomy. In partial hysterectomy, the uterus of the person concerned is removed. They can also opt for additional and more complex procedures in which fallopian tubes and ovaries can also be removed.

Bottom surgery is quite complicated and it is only a very experienced surgeon who can perform this type of surgery. Not all trans men undergo bottom surgery. It is also a very expensive procedure. The concerned person undergoes detailed counselling before they decide to opt for bottom surgery.

Medical Transitioning is just a part of Transitioning

This is the most important point to understand. When we talk about a trans person transitioning from female to male, medical transitioning is just a part of it. Transitioning is a complex procedure that involves social transitioning. Even before undergoing any medical procedure, a trans man begins to come out in the open by dressing up as a guy, by creating a bulge in the genital area by using a rolled-up sock or through various prosthetic devices and by wearing clothing that camouflages the bulge in the chest area.

A trans man closely observes the body language and mannerisms of other men around him and then tries to adapt accordingly. He regularly checks out the latest trends in male fashion and then picks up male apparel that is suitable for his body type. He also joins a trans dating site or a transsexual dating app to look for a prospective partner. In fact, he is always on the lookout for the best transgender dating sites. A trans man also goes through a transgender blog and becomes part of a transgender forum where he gets to learn from the transitioning experiences of other trans guys.

Medical transitioning is just a part of the entire transitioning process. What matters most is the confidence with which transgender guy can embrace the male world.

It’s all about Striking a Balance

Balance is the underlying principle of life. It’s the same with female to male transitioning. A FTM trans guy needs to find the right balance. Some trans men try to overdo the masculine guy part. They go all over-aggressive, domineering and try to feign insensitivity just to show how tough they are. That’s just not needed. Being a man doesn’t mean that you have to feign some kind of toxic masculinity. Just like everything, hyper-masculinity has some negative traits which need to be avoided.

A real man is all about empathy, kindness and magnanimity of heart and spirit. He is a tough guy on the exterior but his heart is soft and vulnerable. He can do anything to take care of his lady love and also has compassion for human beings in general. This is the kind of guy a trans man should want to post transitioning. And this is the type of guy any woman would fall for once she meets him through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating site.

During transitioning and after it, a FTM trans guy has to find his unique sweet spot and project a masculine image accordingly while he is dating someone through a trans dating app or a transsexual dating site.

Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship. Mutual trust can make a relationship beautiful and meaningful over time but the lack of it can make any romantic association go down the winding path. A trans woman is a special creature in the sense that her trust has been betrayed multiple times. A cis woman might have had it rough as well in relationships. But for a trans woman, it’s a different ball game altogether. Her life story is full of mental and psychological cuts and bruises. It’s not just her ex-lovers though who have broken her trust or hurt her badly. She has to face the hatred and censure of the entire society because of her identity. Her friends, neighbours, family, all have hurt her sensibilities at a certain point in time.

So, if you have just started dating her through a trans girl dating site or a transsexual dating site, you got to realize that a slow and steady path is just the right approach. Someone who wants to win the love and trust of a trans woman has to gently heal all her past wounds. And then she would slowly but surreptitiously transform into a magical, fairy-like creature, her eyes shining with love for her partner. Trans woman dating is certainly not easy but it’s a wonderful experience. She is a super-strong creature. And that’s a part of her appeal. She has been hurt and wronged so many times and yet, she hasn’t lost her faith in the possibility of love. She is scared, traumatized and a bit unsure maybe, but she still looks for love everywhere. And once you build that level of trust with her, she would reciprocate your love with the utmost sincerity and devotion.

You seemed to have met the woman of your life through a transgender dating site and now you just want to take things forward. This article lists out a couple of points that would help you understand how to go about establishing trust in trans woman dating and relationships.

Be Committed to Your Trans Woman

Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go out of your way to prove something. It just means that one has to treat their partner with utmost dignity and respect. It doesn’t have to be larger than life gestures. On the contrary, it is the little things that matter most. When you plan out a date with your trans woman, make it a point to be always punctual or even before time. Do discuss the future of your relationship with her every now and then. Tell her about your plans for the future. This will instill a level of trust and confidence in her that you see the relationship as something serious and long term.

Show genuine interest in her life. Listen to her attentively when she tells you excitedly about her hobbies and achievements. And just be there for her when she tells you all about her fears and insecurities. Love is not just about the nice things, after all. It is about sharing everything together and that includes both the good and the bad. Once your trans woman truly feels that you care for her from the core of your heart, she will give you her trust lovingly and willingly.

Stay Faithful to Her

Loyalty is an important aspect of any relationship. Even if you are dating a cis woman, she would expect you to be loyal and faithful.  She would obviously want that as her boyfriend, your romantic interests are reserved exclusively for her. It’s just the same in trans girl dating. You have to be faithful to your trans woman partner. And once she becomes sure of your exclusive commitment and affection for her, winning her trust won’t be difficult.

On the contrary, if you are routinely unfaithful to her and frequently lie in order to cover up your mistakes, all hell will break loose. A trans woman is a super intuitive creature. Because of her past experiences, she has learnt the art of seeing through people and their pretences. So, you cannot bluff her for long. A trans woman is a beautiful creature inside out. She is an embodiment of femininity and love. So, if you are faithful to her and treat your relationship with the sincerity and devotion it so deserves, she will begin to trust you eventually.

Do Give Her Some Personal Space

Two people in a relationship spend a lot of time together. And that is so important for taking the relationship forward. But we all are individuals at the end of the day. In trans girl dating, you have to realize that your trans woman also has her own set of interests and ideas to pursue. So, you shouldn’t make her feel as if you are infringing on her personal space. Everybody has a sense of personal space. Some people like to be left alone when they are working on something. Others need some time by themselves every now and then just to recharge their creative and emotional energies. So, you have to respect that personal space of your trans woman and just let her be. Because if she feels like you are on her nerves all the time, she is just going to freak out. And this is not good news from the point of view of winning her trust.

Giving somebody personal space doesn’t just translate into leaving them alone when they want to be left alone. It also implies that you don’t constantly pester them to speak up on things they don’t want to talk about. Maybe you are just literally dying to know about her views on something. But perhaps she is in a different time frame. So don’t get obsessive and irritate her. Just give her some space.

In trans woman dating or any kind of dating, giving the partner some space can be super beneficial for the relationship in long run. In such a relationship, there is a greater degree of mutual understanding and respect. Also, there are no insecurities and jealousies. Insecurities crop up when you try to own the other person all the time. But if you and your trans woman realize and appreciate the fact that you two also have a life outside of your relationship, then your love and commitment get even stronger.

Be Honest in Your Intentions

Honesty is the building block of any relationship. When you’ve met somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app and want to take things forward, it’s obvious that they want to figure out if your intentions are genuine. Your trans woman wants to know if you are looking for a serious long-term relationship or just a fling. Your interest in her has to be genuine. If you are just interested in her because of her looks or because you are fascinated by the fact that she is trans, she will see through your pretences right away. You cannot treat her like a fetish. Only if you are genuinely interested in her as a woman, she will reciprocate your interest and trust you.

So even as you are talking to a trans woman through a trans woman dating site or a trans dating app, just ask yourself this honest question. Are you genuinely interested in dating her or are you just curious about her identity? If you are confused about what you actually want, it’s better to back out or go real slow than hurt the other person. A trans woman has a history of guys being disrespectful to her or treating her as some kind of fetish. So please don’t jump onto that bandwagon. Take things forward only if you are honestly interested in knowing her as a person.

It’s just liked any other relationship. The woman you are dating wants to be valued for what she is and not for her looks, money, position or status. With a trans woman, there is an added possibility that some guys just want to date her because they want to know how it is like to be with a trans woman. That is just rude and disrespectful. She is a woman like any other, not an object of enquiry. So, in trans woman dating, the most important step towards winning the trust of your partner is that you have to be absolutely honest in your intentions.

You Got to Value Your Relationship

Mutual trust comes through only when both partners truly value their relationship. Valuing a relationship doesn’t mean that you try to impress your trans woman with sweet and romantic words day and night that how much you love her and all that. Sweet words come to nothing unless they are aided by concrete action. You have to invest time and energy in your relationship. Your trans woman has to get the feeling that she is a priority for you. Only then will she give you her love and trust.

In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, valuing a relationship means that you are constantly attentive towards the needs and desires of your partner. It means that you are always making new and exciting plans to make them happy, to bring a smile to their face. Valuing your trans woman means that it’s not a big deal for you to take a day off work and be by her side when she is not feeling well. Surprise her every now and then with a gift, chocolates, flowers or with tickets for her favourite movie. It isn’t about how much money you spend. It’s about the kind of time you are investing in your relationship and the effort you are making to make your trans woman feel special and loved.

Love is not rocket science. If you trans woman feels truly loved and valued, then she will certainly give you her trust and love with all her heart.

So, you have joined a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app and are looking forward to dating a gorgeous trans woman. You have probably started talking to a few and are trying to figure out the one who could end up as your soulmate! Sounds good but before you take the plunge, you got to keep in mind a few basics of dating a transgender woman.

In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, you have to adhere to certain basic principles. There are some things that you should do proactively while there are others that you should totally avoid. There is no rulebook as such but these are really just pointing from the old school book of gentlemanly code of conduct. It is like the rules you follow while dating a cis woman. In trans woman dating, you have to stick to those rules even more religiously because she has had quite a rough past already; dealing with societal prejudices during transitioning has not been easy for her. So, if you have chosen to date her, she needs your full support and that includes always being by her side, no matter what.

One has to also understand the practical nature of the situation. Dating a trans woman is like nurturing a rose, which is beautiful and divine but you have to deal with the thorns that come with it. You got to realize that your friends and family might not even accept your relationship. But that shouldn’t deter you from being with her. If you love her with all your heart and soul, then nothing should stop you from being together.

Below are listed some points that would equip you with a basic roadmap with regard to the things you should do while dating a trans woman and things and scenarios you should avoid. Whether you’ve met her through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app, following these rules would be good for your relationship.

DOS

Think through your Decision before Taking the Plunge

This is the most important aspect of dating a transgender woman. Before you commit to her, you have to be sure in your mind that you really want to date her. Please don’t take the plunge half-heartedly. Take your time and think through your decision. One has to realize that the journey of dating a trans woman will be full of societal apathy and downright disapproval. You have to be strong enough to deal with all that. Your own family might desert you at a certain point in time. Unfortunately, that is the kind of stigma attached to dating a transgender person. So, you have to tell yourself that you will muster up the courage and willpower to overcome all these obstacles.

Also, you have to sort out your own prejudices with regard to a trans woman. You have to accept the fact that she is a woman like any other and dating her won’t make you gay. It is important to be at peace with one’s own decision before taking the final plunge and joining a trans dating app or a trans dating site.

Take Good Care of your Physical and Mental Self

A trans woman is a beauty personified. She is a super well-groomed Goddess! It’s not easy to impress her. Only a guy who takes great care of his physical and mental being is capable of melting her heart. So, while dating a trans woman, just follow the basic principles of good overall grooming. Maintain personal hygiene, dress well and take care of your hair, skin and nails. Always make sure you smell nice, body odour can be a put off for any woman, trans or cis.

You have to also take good care of your physical health. Have some kind of a regular exercise routine. Hit the gym if you need to. When you’ve just started dating a trans woman through a trans girl dating site or a ts dating app, it’s tempting to make way too much effort in dressing up and go overboard. Resist that urge. You want to dress smart and chic but in a way that also seems effortless and casual. You don’t want to be meeting her on a date all dressed up like you were going to attend a wedding party!

Last but not the least, it is important to take care of your mental wellbeing. When your mind is at peace, your face shows it. A handsome face that glows with vitality and the aura of positivity speaks of an evolved and peaceful mind. Practice yoga and meditation. Relax yourself through regular massages or a spa session. Just make sure to unwind once in a while and give rest to your mind. This will ensure that when you finally meet your trans woman on that dream date, you will surely be at your best.

Compliment her Frequently

A trans woman walks that extra mile when it comes to taking care of her looks and appearance. She is always super well-groomed. You would never find her turn up slovenly for a date. Her dressing sense is stylish, chic and feminine. She has mastered the art of applying makeup.

She is well-read and has above average communication skills. Your trans woman is a thinking lady and she has an opinion on issues around her. She has worked hard to perfect her body and mind. So, she surely deserves a heartfelt compliment every now and then. Not that she needs it but hearing those great words from her man, again and again, would reassure her of his love and care.
 

You Have to Stand Up for Her.

This is the most important aspect of your relationship with a transgender woman. As the adage goes, “Actions Speak Louder than Words’. No matter how much you compliment her or give her flowers or gifts, what matters the most is your support to her in difficult times.

And a trans woman’s life is full of difficult times. So, you have to be tough enough to confront your family, friends and society at large for the sake of your love. Your family might say the most inappropriate of things about her. In such a scenario, it’s your duty to stand by her and tell your family firmly that they cannot insult the love of your life.

While you are dating her, it is possible that your social life might just go all haywire. Your friends might not want to hang out with you as earlier. It is possible that they avoid you or desert you completely. You still have to be courageous and never leave her side.

Once you manage to stand with her through thick and thin, your friends and family will also understand that they can’t separate the two of you and will eventually accept your relationship. But till then, you just have to keep going and support your trans lady love in every possible way.

DONT'S

Do Not Treat Her as a Fetish

When you have just started dating her through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating site, you have to be very careful about the way you treat her. Many straight guys want to date a trans woman only because they are curious about her identity and they want to experience how it is like to date a trans woman. You should never date a trans woman with that kind of motive. A guy has to understand that she is a woman like any other and not some kind of exotic kink or fetish to satiate your perversion.

In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, there are some boundaries that have to be always respected. When you are out with her on the first date, don’t bombard her with questions pertaining to her past life or ask her bluntly what organs she has. This is rude and disrespectful. A trans woman is a lady of dignity. If you treat her like this on your first date, chances are she is never going to see you again.

And it’s not just about the first date. Whenever you go out with her, treat her like you would any other woman. Connect with her at an individual level, ask her about her hobbies, interests, what she likes to read, whether she enjoys watching movies or listening to music, that kind of stuff.  

Once your relationship progresses to a certain level, it’s possible that she herself opens up about her past life and experiences. But that’s totally her call. You have no right to force her to do so. Just respect certain boundaries and you will definitely win her trust and love in due course of time.

Don’t Make Her Feel Uncomfortable

Many guys have a habit of treating a woman like a commodity. And when it comes to trans woman, they cross all boundaries of decorum and decency as they think it’s alright to say and do anything to her because she is trans. If you have met someone through a transgender dating app or a trans dating site and you treat them like this, chances are they would never want to see you again.

No matter how gorgeous her body is or how promising her assets look, you have no right to treat a trans woman as a mere commodity for your physical pleasure and gratification. Do not even talk about the physical aspect of love during the first couple of dates. You would just come across as creepy and desperate if you insist on that during the early stages of your dating. As and when she is comfortable with you, things will probably happen. But physical pleasure can’t be your ulterior motive in wanting to date her. Get to know her as a person. That is primary and everything else comes after that.

Respect certain boundaries. Don’t try to strike an amorous conversation with her. If she is feeling uncomfortable, just change the topic right away. Only if you treat a trans woman with dignity and respect, you can be hopeful of winning her love and trust.

Emotional issues can crop up in any relationship. And if not resolved at the right time, these can ruin even the best of love stories. You have met the partner of your dreams through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app. You look forward to the new chapter of your life. But this is only half the battle won. As you take your relationship forward, it gets very important to look out for any emotional issues that can potentially jeopardize your relationship.

Emotional issues in a transgender relationship don’t have a eureka moment! They just appear all of a sudden, out of nowhere. Not everybody is emotionally stable. In fact, most people struggle with some kind of emotional peculiarity. For example, some people are just too insecure about their looks all the time, there are others who smell a conspiracy behind literally everything and there are some who can be so self-obsessed that they tend to ignore their partner.

Whether you have met somebody through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, the first step towards resolving any of the emotional issues between you and your partner is to recognize that these issues exist.  These little emotional peculiarities and quirks that exist in every individual become issues over a period of time. But if you pay close attention to these typical behavioural patterns of your partner early on, then you can prevent these from becoming an issue.

After all, the best of relationships is built on a solid foundation of trust and communication. Once you have figured out the emotional issues that come up in your relationship, it is time to work proactively with your partner on resolving them. Here are some important tips that would help you identity existing emotional issues in your relationship and then work towards resolving them.

Dealing with an Emotionally Unstable Partner

Nobody wants to be with an emotionally unstable person. Dating an emotionally unstable person can damage your own mental health. If you have recently started dating someone you met through a trans dating site and you have realized that they have frequent mood swings, they get upset suddenly for no visible reason and could even get angry and abusive out of the blue, then you are dealing with an emotionally unstable person.

Well of course, when you are in love with someone, then you just want to ignore the nagging aspect of their behaviour and focus on positive things instead. After all, nobody wants to break their relationship just because of a particular personality trait of their partner.  So, to begin with, you should try and figure out ways to deal with your partner’s emotional instability. If you observe their behaviour closely, you might be able to figure out a pattern. Are there some specific things or topics that upset them? If you are lucky, avoiding those specific things might help resolve the issue altogether. But their emotional instability might be symptomatic of deep-seated unhappiness with their own self and what they have achieved in life. So, you can try and connect them with their positive side. Help them focus on their goals and ambitions. Make them feel loved and extra special. Well, this is true of any relationship but is especially applicable for people who have emotional problems due to pre-existing baggage. It could be their failed past relationships, troubled childhood, anything.  But love and nurturing can heal their wounds. And their emotional state would probably get more stable.

However, even after trying all this, if you still face problems and their emotional instability is becoming a source of concern for you and hindering your day-to-day life, you have to communicate this to them. The two of you have to talk it out. Everybody tries their best to maintain a relationship. But it cannot be at the cost of your mental peace.

Dealing with an Overtly Critical Partner

Mutual respect is very important for a relationship. And that involves being supportive of each other’s work and achievements.  But there are people whose favourite hobby seems to be no holds barred criticism and such people can be toxic for a relationship.

You started dating somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app. And the two of you ended in a relationship. That’s definitely some great news! But if your partner constantly finds faults with everything you do and the way you, do it, then that’s not cool. We spend the maximum time with the person we are romantically involved with. So, it becomes even more important that our partner has a positive outlook towards our goals and achievements.

An overly critical partner can totally destroy one’s self-esteem. It can make a person doubtful about everything they do and in the worst-case scenario; they can even end up in depression. So as a rule of thumb, you should avoid dating someone who has a habit of commenting negatively on everything you do. Such people are plain toxic. If a person is emotionally unstable, you can still heal them with love. But a partner who finds faults in everything you do is most probably manipulative and toxic. They might just end up damaging you. So, it’s not worth the risk. In fact, a golden rule to follow is to be super cautious about self-obsessed people the moment you start chatting with prospective love interests through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating app.

However, it is still very important to make efforts to resolve this issue. Try to talk it out with your partner. Communicate your concerns to them in a straightforward manner. A loving and caring partner will definitely try to make amends in their behaviour once they realize it’s not good for your emotional health. Try to understand their perspective as well. Maybe, they are just trying to motivate you to be your best version. You have to then tell them politely but firmly that they are going way too overboard with their criticism and that needs to stop. Set boundaries in your relationship. Your partner has to know when to stop. And if they truly value you and love you, they will understand your perspective and change their behaviour.

Dealing with a Self-Obsessed Partner

Now this one can be quite tricky. When you have just started dating someone through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, it is obvious that you want to give the maximum time to your newfound relationship. And you expect your partner to do the same. But what if you end up with someone who is way too self-obsessed? That can be damaging for your own self-esteem and for the relationship as well.

So do check out for the red flags early on in the relationship so that these issues can be resolved before it gets too late. If you have a partner who constantly talks about just themselves, their achievements, likes and dislikes, it can get a bit overwhelming. Self-love is good but self-obsession isn’t. When the two of you meet, there is no conversation. There is just this long monologue in which your trans partner is constantly talking about himself/herself and they are treating you like a dummy. When you make some plans, it’s all about their priorities. If they are busy, they will just cancel the plan at the last moment. But if you are busy, you have to adjust. When you are planning out where to go for a date, it’s always his choice. And you just have to agree.  Well, what I am trying to say is that it can be incredibly difficult to be with such a self-obsessed person.

So, you have to just communicate your concerns to your partner. They got to know your identity and self-respect are of utmost importance. The most important thing is for you to evaluate if the two of you are still in love. If someone is truly in love with you, they would not make you feel neglected and sidelined.

Dealing with an Emotionally Weak Person

An emotionally weak partner can be more of a liability than an asset in a relationship. They would constantly nag you with the most inconsequential of things. They would need you repeated reassurance about literally everything. If they had a bad day at work, it will affect them emotionally and they will expect you to get them out of it. If there is some problem at the workplace, they just won’t be able to handle it. They would just completely break down and expect you to get them out of this mess.

If you’ve started dating someone through a transsexual dating site or a transsexual dating app and they happen to fall under this category, then your life can get difficult. Well, emotionally weak people are not really bad people. They are not emotionally unstable either. They are just vulnerable. If they have a loving partner who is also emotionally strong and can protect them from all stress and worry, it can be a great thing for them. But maybe, it’s not a that great thing for you as an emotionally strong partner.

You do have your own life also at the end of the day. You got deadlines to fulfil, goals to accomplish and many other things to do. There are times when you just want to relax with your partner and not constantly having to act like an agony aunt who has to fix all their issues! An emotionally weak person can be mentally and emotionally draining. You don’t want your relationship to resemble babysitting in which your partner is the baby and you the babysitter!

So, if it’s getting too much for you to handle, talk it out with your partner. Set boundaries with them. Make it clear that there is a limit to which you can fix things for them. They have to learn to stand up for their own life and sort it out. If it still doesn’t work out, you could consider seeking the help of a relationship counsellor. You could even consider joining a transgender forum where you can communicate with like-minded people from the trans community and take their advice.
 

Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.

What exactly is confidence?

Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:

 – Self-efficacy:

Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

 – Self-confidence:

Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.

 – Self-esteem:

While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.

Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.

Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?

Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.

As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.

So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.

Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again. 

Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.

While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.

Be a Friend to Yourself

Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.

When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.

Remember and Celebrate Your Successes

Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.

These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.

Remove Things That Bring You Down

Out of sight, out of mind –  this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.

Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.

Smile At Yourself In The Mirror

Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.

Improve Your Posture

Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.

Do Not Compare Yourself To Others

Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.

Take Risks

There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.

In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!

Be Persistent

At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.

On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.

Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.

If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to. 

Too bad that for most people, connecting with potential partners via ts dating apps or platforms has its limits. Who doesn’t know the feeling when the exciting chatter with a new match or contact gives way to tedious and monotonous discussions of topics you’ve covered again and again? In case you are new to online dating, be prepared to make such experiences.

While chatting online with people you cannot see, communicating only via text messages and emojis, can become boring very quickly due to the nature of the conversation, another risk you face every time you open your ts dating app is the ‘what’ you talk about. Too many times, a lovely and wonderful meeting in the virtual room of a site has devolved into tedious accounts of the respective person’s day. If there were a  rewards or points program that gave you a penny each time someone asks you, after a gap in communication, “How are you?” or “How was your day?”, we would all be millionaires already. 

Don’t misunderstand, though: Sharing details about your day and your life has its place in online dating. How someone replies to “How was your day?” tells you a lot about what this person values in life.

Yet if they say the same thing for three days in a row, or their replies grow shorter by the minute, then you know you have hit boredom territory. 

Since yes, chances are high that your date or chatting partner also shares this sense of listlessness while engaging with you. If you don’t act now, you might ruin what could have been the start of a great romantic journey for yourself. Therefore, you have to ensure that you keep every online date you have as memorable and fun as possible, both for your sake and your partner’s.

Easier said than done, however. There is a certain degree of creativity needed in order to spice up your conversations, especially if you haven’t seen the hide nor hair of the person you are talking to. And while you might consider yourself quite the open-minded, flexible person who could excel at an improv class if these were still a thing (at least in person), you might eventually run out of ideas as well.

This is why we have gathered a list of tips that can help you turn those monotonous conversations into memorable and delightful moments of the budding romance.

Tips on how to get creative with trans dating online:

– Share meaningful details

When the inevitable question of “How are you?” or “How was your day?” arrives in your inbox, consider one-word replies banned for life. Think about the reasons instead:  Why do you want to say you’re fine? Why was your day just okay, as opposed to great or wonderful? Add these tidbits to your answer. Being honest will motivate your online dating partner to reply in kind.

– Speaking of honesty: be truthful

You signed up for this transgender dating app or this trans dating site to find a real connection and long-term romantic partnership. Leave the posing and flexing for hook-up culture. Admit to driving an ancient car because it is more fiscally responsible. Own your career trajectory, wherever it has led. Share your struggles with your identity (especially on dating sites for transgender women, men, and other folks). Only if you are honest will you find people who share your values and outlook on life, which is the basis for a successful relationship.

– Ask questions

Even if you are nervous or unsure if it is okay with the other person to simply pose questions, this will help get conversations going. Most people love talking about themselves, so seize that to your advantage. Think about what you would most like to know and start with that.

– Think of new topics to talk about

Yes, this might be a no-brainer, but all too often, online chats are centered on just telling each other what you have done for the day. If you go for this strategy every time, both you and your date are going to lose interest soon enough. So off you go! Find new topics that are interesting enough to help you talk with your date at length and with vibrancy. The first and best place to start is, of course, the other person’s profile. Check out their interests and hobbies. If none are listed, put on your detective hat and inspect the photos they uploaded. Look for the context, and ask about it.

– Use outside resources

Once you have exhausted the new topics you thought about, there is nothing wrong with involving outside help. This can come in the form of a fun news article or blog post that caught your eye, or simply a trailer for a new series or the announcement of a new album by a band you or your chatting partner cares about. You will be surprised how such a little gesture can bring you closer together and kick-start a passionate discussion.

– Expand your repertoire

As in, surprise your dates once in a while! Show them something they do not expect to see when you start the chat. It may be a video of you singing their favorite song, or a photo of your pet (or child) delivering a thoughtful or funny message. By sprinkling in surprises into your online dating chats, your potential partners will always look forward to receiving a notification that they have a new message. It might also, in turn, inspire them to reply in kind and think of surprises for you.

– Embrace your inner child

Not necessarily by talking about your childhood interests (although that can be a fascinating topic all on its own), but by being silly together. Yes, even when you are only conversing online you can have fun with antics and banter. You can post photos of yourself wearing crazy headpieces and costumes. You can play games as if you are together. You can compete with each other about who can tell or find the funnier jokes. Do not think that, just because finding love online is a serious topic,  that you need to stay ‘on brand’ with that tone all throughout your online dating experience.

– Go beyond simple chatting

Of course, you will want to limit your online dates to messaging or the occasional voice message at the beginning. Yet once you are comfortable and, most importantly, have established a foundation of trust with the other person, make use of the many opportunities that technology has already developed. Hop on a video call – or plan on for a time that fits both you and your date’s schedules – and allow your match to hear your voice and see your face. This would help you carry on conversations for a long time without becoming easily tired of having to type everything you want to say. Needless to say, this also opens up your dates to new possibilities, like a shared dinner over video chat or a game you both enjoy.

– Flirt!

Seriously, get that charm on and use it to your advantage. Only if that is your talent, though. Awkward moments are inevitable, but you don’t need to ask for them. As an alternative, simply be your nicest self. Respect the other person and show you appreciate them taking the time to engage with you.

As you can see, there are so many ways through which you can improve your experience on ts dating sites. You do not have to limit yourself just because the nature of online dating has you taking through a keyboard without a visual of the other person. Be creative and let your mind rule over your physical boundaries.

But hang on… how do you know what is the right strategy to use? 

A valid question, the answer to which depends on the respective situation. Think about how your date engages with you and determine which vibe you are getting from them. Serious or playful? Cheery or restrained? This can give you an idea of how to start being more creative with online dating. Once you have begun, do not be afraid to experiment. Try out different approaches and see how your potential partner reacts. This will help you practice, give you more insight into the person you are communicating with, and help filter out those who definitely don’t fit your expectations. 

And hey, if you have exhausted all options and are at the end of your list of ideas, it might be time to genuinely take the experience offline! Sure, that’s another thing that is so easily said but poses challenges when it comes to execution. But if you apply the same creativity to this step, you will certainly find a way that fits both your and your date’s lives and personalities.

One of the benefits of meeting a TS woman on a  transgender dating site is that you’ll get an excellent opportunity to get to know her personality without physical appearance being too much of a focus. Aren’t we all a lot more relaxed when conversing with people on Trans Dating Apps, rather than in person? The privacy of your own home lends itself to many great chats.

Once you’ve clicked with your potential date, it is important you get to know each other. During this time, ask relevant questions when you chat with her or them on the transgender dating site of your choice. “Her or them”– asking about pronouns is a very respectful way to start, for example. While many trans women use female pronouns, not all do. It is wise that you get into a mindset of never assuming you know the answer when talking with your match and to have meaningful conversations. After all, both of you are after something long-term and real. Ensure you set a solid foundation for mutual respect and honesty. Your conversations online will help you build a rapport before going out on the first date. Knowing more about her likes, dislikes, aspirations, and dreams builds trust and will prove crucial for surviving your first date. 

However, it is the date itself where the fun begins. Meeting a person for the first time can be a nerve-wracking experience, even for the most confident of individuals, and regardless of gender. Fear not, though – in order to make sure that all goes smoothly between you and your match, this article will provide a survival guide for your first date with a transgender woman.

Get Rid of the Pre-Date Nerves

While being nervous prior to a first date is completely understandable, too much nervousness can have a negative impact on your date. You might start babbling too much due to your nerves, stop listening to her questions and replies, and make a fool out of yourself in some way or another.  

Of course, whoever you connected with on the ts dating site might face the same problem. You can safely assume, however, that they will do their best as well to rein in their nerves before meeting you.

One way to reduce your apprehension is by simply distracting yourself with something interesting before the date begins. If you like to hit the gym, do so a few hours before your date in order to keep pre-date jitters at bay. The following shower or bath provides a wonderful chance to prepare yourself in terms of attire.

Reading a book, watching a video or episode of your current favorite show can also help distract you from nervousness.

If neither of these ideas resonates with you, it might be a good idea to do some housework. Clean the room you’ve been procrastinating on, do laundry or reorganize shelves and cupboards – the manual tasks will certainly soothe your nerves.

The trick, basically, is to keep yourself preoccupied so that you avoid overthinking your situation, that is the upcoming first date with a trans woman. Eliminating pre-date nerves will help you feel relaxed and prepare you to have a good time when the date begins.

Prepare Accordingly

Speaking of preparation: A successful first date involves some level of preparation for what you are about to experience. This holds true both on the physical and emotional levels.

In terms of physical appearance, ensure that you are well dressed in a way that suits the context of your date. While clean, comfortable clothes are perfect for casual walks in the park, a dinner date or first meeting for coffee might require more refined attire. Hitting the sweet spot with clothing can be tough, and the fear of being over-or underdressed might cause you ample anxiety before your date. In that case, why not reach out to friends and ask them for help? They will certainly be more than happy to assist you in choosing the right outfit for your first date with a transgender woman.  

Emotional preparation includes planning the topics you want to discuss with your date. Brainstorm a little: What did you talk about when you were still chatting on the ts dating app or transgender dating site? Can you follow up on any topics, or expand your interest in others she mentioned? Also, think about yourself:  What would you like to share about your day, your week, your life? What strikes you as important for a potential partner to know? When you are well prepared, conversations will run smoothly and you will feel a lot more charming and confident. This will certainly carry over to how your date perceives you.

Arrive On Time

Being late is a total turn off for many people, whether or not they are transgender or cis. So yes, plan diligently when it comes to your journey prior to the date. Do not forget to take into account weekday fluctuations in traffic and check reports earlier to ensure you do not miss any news about road closures or cancellations of public transport.

If you must be late for any reason, whether or not it is your fault, make sure to call or text your date to tell them that you won’t be able to make it on time. Additionally, you should have the decency to apologize to your date once you arrive in person and try to make up for your lateness. If your date has spent their time waiting for you, then you had better be worth the wait.

Enjoy the Date 

Of course, we all want to have fun during our first date! Sometimes, however, we are too nervous or preoccupied with how we come across or how the other person perceives us to remember that we are on a date and should be enjoying the time.

If that is the case, don’t shy away from admitting to it. Showing the self-awareness to say “I’m sorry, I’m really nervous right now” will prove your sincerity and open up the date to a more intimate connection. Anyone who joins a  dating site for transgender women, men, and others will have their share of negative experiences that undoubtedly influence how they feel about going on a first date with someone. Being open about this will create a safer space for both you and your match.

Enjoying the date also includes flirting and trying to make your date laugh. You can be as silly as feels natural to you – after all, your potential partner wants to get to know you, not the facade you think you need to project.

Be careful with complaints. If you find the date’s venue to be awful, don’t spend all the time dwelling on this. This will make you come off as a negative person. You could instead suggest a change in location if you think so strongly about it. This will make you seem pro-active.

At all times you should be civil, polite, and open-minded. Listen when she answers your questions and be honest when replying to inquiries into your own life. Telling the truth is always the best policy, although doing so with tact and kindness will leave an even better impression.

Ending the First Date

Knowing when to end the first date can be quite difficult. Saying goodbye to someone you have not known for long can be awkward.

You can alleviate this by thinking of how to end the date on a positive note in advance: Do you want to accompany her to her car, or her train or bus? When bidding goodbye, consider how you can show that you truly enjoyed her company and want to see her again.

One thing to avoid is a rushed departure. If you have an appointment or commitment to attend to after your date, even if it’s just your bedtime because the next day is a workday, don’t let the time catch you by surprise. Remain aware of how late it is so you can guide the date to a natural end that leaves both of you feeling content and appreciated.  

Follow up

Last but not least, it is highly recommended to follow up after a first date. You might test her when you arrive back home or wish her a good night after thanking her for a great time.

If she beats you to it, reply in kind and signal that you want to make plans for a second date. No need to rush a decision that day, but showing her that you are more interested than before will help cement the foundation you both are building for a long-term romantic relationship.

So you’ve been active on a transgender dating site or ts dating app for a while and finally caught the eye of a trans woman. You chatted, truly enjoyed the back-and-forth, and feel a strong enough connection to take this to the next level.

Yet this is where things tend to get complicated. Online dating is already quite the challenge, but taking any relationship offline can prove daunting, no matter what gender you and your match identify as. The questions remain the same: When is the best time to suggest a real-life date, even at a safe distance if necessary? How can you be certain your potential partner feels the same? If you gathered the courage, how do you phrase your question?

Let’s assume that somehow, you did it. And congratulations, they said yes!

Now the real adventure starts. When you’re dating a transgender woman, you will face more – or rather, different – challenges on your romantic journey.

Your presence on trans dating sites indicates that you already know a bit about trans issues and the reality of transgender lives. However, if you are genuine in your interest when it comes to exploring dating a transgender woman, you will need to do your homework, as they say.

This homework includes research on several aspects of transgender life, including the harder parts and topics you, as a cis person (that is, a person who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth), might not have on your radar yet. The lack of true and practical information, which may be difficult to come by online if you aren’t entrenched in the community, further complicates your progress.

Fortunately, you have found this guide and thus a great starting point! If you have been wondering what it would be like to date a trans woman or if you have started dating one and need a roadmap to help you navigate the dynamics, the following information will be very useful.

Research and Reflect

Before you begin your search for a trans woman on any transgender dating site or ts dating app, you should take a bit of time to research and understand the various aspects of the transgender community.

Topics we recommend you explore if only on the surface, include but are not limited to: 

– What does trans/transgender mean? How does it relate to the concepts of intersex or the term transvestite?

– What is the difference between sex and gender?

– What are common gender stereotypes and how does the trans community work to dismantle them? What are gender nonconforming practices?

– What legal and medical ramifications are involved in being trans? What role do hormones play? What surgery options are available, and how difficult is it to access them? Who opts for surgery and why, who decides against it?

You do not need to spend too long doing this research before you will have successfully dispelled several myths about transgender lives.

Having at least a basic understanding of these concepts and questions will lessen the burden your future partner or date will have to carry. Just like it is not on people of color to educate their white friends on the realities of racism and ‘Life While BIPOC’, do not expect trans people to enlighten you. Some might be willing to, but the onus is on you to learn.

While doing this research, you might want to reflect on your own experiences. How do you experience your gender? What shaped it? What stereotypes do you maybe harbor? How does this affect the way you approach dating?

Dating a trans woman may not fit your preconceived ideas of dating a cis woman. We assure you, however, that it will be worth the effort you invest in opening yourself up for new experiences.

Avoid Transgender Talk During Your Dates

While you might be curious about your date’s history or details about their life as a trans woman, never make the mistake of delving too deep into the subject of transgender. Just as curiosity killed the cat, it could also kill any relationship potential that was budding between you and a trans woman. It is possible that the subject might pop up later, but in the beginning, it is better to err on the side of caution and steer away from potentially awkward subjects. Remember that, for most people, their gender is an intimate subject, and talking about it with anyone requires trust and feeling secure in the situation.

Even if she initiates the subject at some point, we recommend proceeding carefully. Be careful of boundaries and intrusive questions. However, when she expresses willingness to talk about transgender topics and her own journey, listen keenly and without judgment. Show that you appreciate the trust she places in you and proves yourself worthy of this trust.

First Impression Matters

How you meet the trans woman on your first date may make or break any chances you have of a long-term romantic relationship. Since yes, first impressions matter. Beyond the way you communicate, this also holds true for attire and clothes.

While not every female-presenting person in the trans community values fashion and spends ample time on styling themselves, putting an effort into one’s appearance is a form of self-care. If we feel comfortable in our skin, we will looser and more relaxed when meeting a potential partner for the first time.

You should complement this by putting effort into your dress and maintenance. You do not need to dress up to the nines – but make choosing an outfit an active and conscious choice. Select something that reflects you and your character, don’t ‘dress up’ or pretend you are something you’re not. Natural charm goes a long way and shows your date that you are genuine in your interest.

Be a Gentleperson

Some transgender women enjoy presenting even more feminine than their cisgender counterparts. Other trans women may act more genderneutral or be actively nonconforming and/or fluid. Regardless of how they present, be a gentlemanly date. Not in a condescending way, but from a place of deep respect.

Whether you are a cis man or a cis woman and about to date a transgender lady, you can be courteous. Chivalry, in the sense of pulling out chairs or opening doors, might have a very positive effect on your date. However, only do this if it fits your personality and style. As with clothing, there is no need to pretend you are something you aren’t. Engage your date in meaningful conversation, truly listen when she talks, and smile so that she sees you enjoy her company.

Be Prepared to Talk Politics

For many people in the transgender community, politics is an important subject. The government decides who can transition from one gender to another, whether or not there are gender options outside the binary of male and female, how easy access to hormones or surgery is, and how protected we are in our everyday lives.

While ‘Keep away from politics’ may be sound dating advice for some, when it comes to being active on a ts dating site, you should be prepared to engage in political debates.

This advice ties in well with the research homework you have been given already. Unless they know someone personally, most cis people are unaware of the legal aspects and challenges of being transgender. If you educate yourself, you will certainly impress your date by showing interest and communicating that you are genuine in your pursuit of dating a transgender woman.

When It Comes To Sex

… be patient. Taking one’s time is a good idea regardless of gender identity, since building a long-lasting relationship depends on so much more than sex.

For some transgender women, sex can also be a difficult topic. Not every trans woman had top and bottom surgeries, so do not assume you know what your date’s body looks like underneath her clothes. Once you have built a foundation of trust and you both feel comfortable in each other’s presence, you may certainly ask your date about their sex life. Share your own experiences, if you think it might help. Showing your partner that you are open to talking about intimacy will go a long way in making her feel respected and safe.

Communication is key here – never assume anything. Many trans dating sites offer the option to specify operation status and more, yet this does not mean every person experiences this the same. The wonderful thing about human sexuality is how varied and colorful it is. Explore with curiosity and an open mind. Don’t set yourself any expectations to meet, or signal your transgender partner that there is a certain way they have to perform in order to earn your affection. 

After all, you are dating a transgender woman from a place of love, on a quest for belonging and connection. Neither one of you is in this for a quick hookup - there are other ts dating apps for that.

While there are certainly more tips that will help you navigate the trans dating experience, this hopefully proves a useful guide and starting point. Now off you go, be brave, and make a move!