Serenity's blog

Emotional issues can crop up in any relationship. And if not resolved at the right time, these can ruin even the best of love stories. You have met the partner of your dreams through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app. You look forward to the new chapter of your life. But this is only half the battle won. As you take your relationship forward, it gets very important to look out for any emotional issues that can potentially jeopardize your relationship.

Emotional issues in a transgender relationship don’t have a eureka moment! They just appear all of a sudden, out of nowhere. Not everybody is emotionally stable. In fact, most people struggle with some kind of emotional peculiarity. For example, some people are just too insecure about their looks all the time, there are others who smell a conspiracy behind literally everything and there are some who can be so self-obsessed that they tend to ignore their partner.

Whether you have met somebody through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, the first step towards resolving any of the emotional issues between you and your partner is to recognize that these issues exist.  These little emotional peculiarities and quirks that exist in every individual become issues over a period of time. But if you pay close attention to these typical behavioural patterns of your partner early on, then you can prevent these from becoming an issue.

After all, the best of relationships is built on a solid foundation of trust and communication. Once you have figured out the emotional issues that come up in your relationship, it is time to work proactively with your partner on resolving them. Here are some important tips that would help you identity existing emotional issues in your relationship and then work towards resolving them.

Dealing with an Emotionally Unstable Partner

Nobody wants to be with an emotionally unstable person. Dating an emotionally unstable person can damage your own mental health. If you have recently started dating someone you met through a trans dating site and you have realized that they have frequent mood swings, they get upset suddenly for no visible reason and could even get angry and abusive out of the blue, then you are dealing with an emotionally unstable person.

Well of course, when you are in love with someone, then you just want to ignore the nagging aspect of their behaviour and focus on positive things instead. After all, nobody wants to break their relationship just because of a particular personality trait of their partner.  So, to begin with, you should try and figure out ways to deal with your partner’s emotional instability. If you observe their behaviour closely, you might be able to figure out a pattern. Are there some specific things or topics that upset them? If you are lucky, avoiding those specific things might help resolve the issue altogether. But their emotional instability might be symptomatic of deep-seated unhappiness with their own self and what they have achieved in life. So, you can try and connect them with their positive side. Help them focus on their goals and ambitions. Make them feel loved and extra special. Well, this is true of any relationship but is especially applicable for people who have emotional problems due to pre-existing baggage. It could be their failed past relationships, troubled childhood, anything.  But love and nurturing can heal their wounds. And their emotional state would probably get more stable.

However, even after trying all this, if you still face problems and their emotional instability is becoming a source of concern for you and hindering your day-to-day life, you have to communicate this to them. The two of you have to talk it out. Everybody tries their best to maintain a relationship. But it cannot be at the cost of your mental peace.

Dealing with an Overtly Critical Partner

Mutual respect is very important for a relationship. And that involves being supportive of each other’s work and achievements.  But there are people whose favourite hobby seems to be no holds barred criticism and such people can be toxic for a relationship.

You started dating somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app. And the two of you ended in a relationship. That’s definitely some great news! But if your partner constantly finds faults with everything you do and the way you, do it, then that’s not cool. We spend the maximum time with the person we are romantically involved with. So, it becomes even more important that our partner has a positive outlook towards our goals and achievements.

An overly critical partner can totally destroy one’s self-esteem. It can make a person doubtful about everything they do and in the worst-case scenario; they can even end up in depression. So as a rule of thumb, you should avoid dating someone who has a habit of commenting negatively on everything you do. Such people are plain toxic. If a person is emotionally unstable, you can still heal them with love. But a partner who finds faults in everything you do is most probably manipulative and toxic. They might just end up damaging you. So, it’s not worth the risk. In fact, a golden rule to follow is to be super cautious about self-obsessed people the moment you start chatting with prospective love interests through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating app.

However, it is still very important to make efforts to resolve this issue. Try to talk it out with your partner. Communicate your concerns to them in a straightforward manner. A loving and caring partner will definitely try to make amends in their behaviour once they realize it’s not good for your emotional health. Try to understand their perspective as well. Maybe, they are just trying to motivate you to be your best version. You have to then tell them politely but firmly that they are going way too overboard with their criticism and that needs to stop. Set boundaries in your relationship. Your partner has to know when to stop. And if they truly value you and love you, they will understand your perspective and change their behaviour.

Dealing with a Self-Obsessed Partner

Now this one can be quite tricky. When you have just started dating someone through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, it is obvious that you want to give the maximum time to your newfound relationship. And you expect your partner to do the same. But what if you end up with someone who is way too self-obsessed? That can be damaging for your own self-esteem and for the relationship as well.

So do check out for the red flags early on in the relationship so that these issues can be resolved before it gets too late. If you have a partner who constantly talks about just themselves, their achievements, likes and dislikes, it can get a bit overwhelming. Self-love is good but self-obsession isn’t. When the two of you meet, there is no conversation. There is just this long monologue in which your trans partner is constantly talking about himself/herself and they are treating you like a dummy. When you make some plans, it’s all about their priorities. If they are busy, they will just cancel the plan at the last moment. But if you are busy, you have to adjust. When you are planning out where to go for a date, it’s always his choice. And you just have to agree.  Well, what I am trying to say is that it can be incredibly difficult to be with such a self-obsessed person.

So, you have to just communicate your concerns to your partner. They got to know your identity and self-respect are of utmost importance. The most important thing is for you to evaluate if the two of you are still in love. If someone is truly in love with you, they would not make you feel neglected and sidelined.

Dealing with an Emotionally Weak Person

An emotionally weak partner can be more of a liability than an asset in a relationship. They would constantly nag you with the most inconsequential of things. They would need you repeated reassurance about literally everything. If they had a bad day at work, it will affect them emotionally and they will expect you to get them out of it. If there is some problem at the workplace, they just won’t be able to handle it. They would just completely break down and expect you to get them out of this mess.

If you’ve started dating someone through a transsexual dating site or a transsexual dating app and they happen to fall under this category, then your life can get difficult. Well, emotionally weak people are not really bad people. They are not emotionally unstable either. They are just vulnerable. If they have a loving partner who is also emotionally strong and can protect them from all stress and worry, it can be a great thing for them. But maybe, it’s not a that great thing for you as an emotionally strong partner.

You do have your own life also at the end of the day. You got deadlines to fulfil, goals to accomplish and many other things to do. There are times when you just want to relax with your partner and not constantly having to act like an agony aunt who has to fix all their issues! An emotionally weak person can be mentally and emotionally draining. You don’t want your relationship to resemble babysitting in which your partner is the baby and you the babysitter!

So, if it’s getting too much for you to handle, talk it out with your partner. Set boundaries with them. Make it clear that there is a limit to which you can fix things for them. They have to learn to stand up for their own life and sort it out. If it still doesn’t work out, you could consider seeking the help of a relationship counsellor. You could even consider joining a transgender forum where you can communicate with like-minded people from the trans community and take their advice.
 

Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.

What exactly is confidence?

Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:

 – Self-efficacy:

Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

 – Self-confidence:

Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.

 – Self-esteem:

While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.

Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.

Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?

Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.

As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.

So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.

Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again. 

Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.

While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.

Be a Friend to Yourself

Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.

When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.

Remember and Celebrate Your Successes

Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.

These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.

Remove Things That Bring You Down

Out of sight, out of mind –  this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.

Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.

Smile At Yourself In The Mirror

Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.

Improve Your Posture

Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.

Do Not Compare Yourself To Others

Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.

Take Risks

There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.

In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!

Be Persistent

At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.

On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.

Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.

If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to. 

Too bad that for most people, connecting with potential partners via ts dating apps or platforms has its limits. Who doesn’t know the feeling when the exciting chatter with a new match or contact gives way to tedious and monotonous discussions of topics you’ve covered again and again? In case you are new to online dating, be prepared to make such experiences.

While chatting online with people you cannot see, communicating only via text messages and emojis, can become boring very quickly due to the nature of the conversation, another risk you face every time you open your ts dating app is the ‘what’ you talk about. Too many times, a lovely and wonderful meeting in the virtual room of a site has devolved into tedious accounts of the respective person’s day. If there were a  rewards or points program that gave you a penny each time someone asks you, after a gap in communication, “How are you?” or “How was your day?”, we would all be millionaires already. 

Don’t misunderstand, though: Sharing details about your day and your life has its place in online dating. How someone replies to “How was your day?” tells you a lot about what this person values in life.

Yet if they say the same thing for three days in a row, or their replies grow shorter by the minute, then you know you have hit boredom territory. 

Since yes, chances are high that your date or chatting partner also shares this sense of listlessness while engaging with you. If you don’t act now, you might ruin what could have been the start of a great romantic journey for yourself. Therefore, you have to ensure that you keep every online date you have as memorable and fun as possible, both for your sake and your partner’s.

Easier said than done, however. There is a certain degree of creativity needed in order to spice up your conversations, especially if you haven’t seen the hide nor hair of the person you are talking to. And while you might consider yourself quite the open-minded, flexible person who could excel at an improv class if these were still a thing (at least in person), you might eventually run out of ideas as well.

This is why we have gathered a list of tips that can help you turn those monotonous conversations into memorable and delightful moments of the budding romance.

Tips on how to get creative with trans dating online:

– Share meaningful details

When the inevitable question of “How are you?” or “How was your day?” arrives in your inbox, consider one-word replies banned for life. Think about the reasons instead:  Why do you want to say you’re fine? Why was your day just okay, as opposed to great or wonderful? Add these tidbits to your answer. Being honest will motivate your online dating partner to reply in kind.

– Speaking of honesty: be truthful

You signed up for this transgender dating app or this trans dating site to find a real connection and long-term romantic partnership. Leave the posing and flexing for hook-up culture. Admit to driving an ancient car because it is more fiscally responsible. Own your career trajectory, wherever it has led. Share your struggles with your identity (especially on dating sites for transgender women, men, and other folks). Only if you are honest will you find people who share your values and outlook on life, which is the basis for a successful relationship.

– Ask questions

Even if you are nervous or unsure if it is okay with the other person to simply pose questions, this will help get conversations going. Most people love talking about themselves, so seize that to your advantage. Think about what you would most like to know and start with that.

– Think of new topics to talk about

Yes, this might be a no-brainer, but all too often, online chats are centered on just telling each other what you have done for the day. If you go for this strategy every time, both you and your date are going to lose interest soon enough. So off you go! Find new topics that are interesting enough to help you talk with your date at length and with vibrancy. The first and best place to start is, of course, the other person’s profile. Check out their interests and hobbies. If none are listed, put on your detective hat and inspect the photos they uploaded. Look for the context, and ask about it.

– Use outside resources

Once you have exhausted the new topics you thought about, there is nothing wrong with involving outside help. This can come in the form of a fun news article or blog post that caught your eye, or simply a trailer for a new series or the announcement of a new album by a band you or your chatting partner cares about. You will be surprised how such a little gesture can bring you closer together and kick-start a passionate discussion.

– Expand your repertoire

As in, surprise your dates once in a while! Show them something they do not expect to see when you start the chat. It may be a video of you singing their favorite song, or a photo of your pet (or child) delivering a thoughtful or funny message. By sprinkling in surprises into your online dating chats, your potential partners will always look forward to receiving a notification that they have a new message. It might also, in turn, inspire them to reply in kind and think of surprises for you.

– Embrace your inner child

Not necessarily by talking about your childhood interests (although that can be a fascinating topic all on its own), but by being silly together. Yes, even when you are only conversing online you can have fun with antics and banter. You can post photos of yourself wearing crazy headpieces and costumes. You can play games as if you are together. You can compete with each other about who can tell or find the funnier jokes. Do not think that, just because finding love online is a serious topic,  that you need to stay ‘on brand’ with that tone all throughout your online dating experience.

– Go beyond simple chatting

Of course, you will want to limit your online dates to messaging or the occasional voice message at the beginning. Yet once you are comfortable and, most importantly, have established a foundation of trust with the other person, make use of the many opportunities that technology has already developed. Hop on a video call – or plan on for a time that fits both you and your date’s schedules – and allow your match to hear your voice and see your face. This would help you carry on conversations for a long time without becoming easily tired of having to type everything you want to say. Needless to say, this also opens up your dates to new possibilities, like a shared dinner over video chat or a game you both enjoy.

– Flirt!

Seriously, get that charm on and use it to your advantage. Only if that is your talent, though. Awkward moments are inevitable, but you don’t need to ask for them. As an alternative, simply be your nicest self. Respect the other person and show you appreciate them taking the time to engage with you.

As you can see, there are so many ways through which you can improve your experience on ts dating sites. You do not have to limit yourself just because the nature of online dating has you taking through a keyboard without a visual of the other person. Be creative and let your mind rule over your physical boundaries.

But hang on… how do you know what is the right strategy to use? 

A valid question, the answer to which depends on the respective situation. Think about how your date engages with you and determine which vibe you are getting from them. Serious or playful? Cheery or restrained? This can give you an idea of how to start being more creative with online dating. Once you have begun, do not be afraid to experiment. Try out different approaches and see how your potential partner reacts. This will help you practice, give you more insight into the person you are communicating with, and help filter out those who definitely don’t fit your expectations. 

And hey, if you have exhausted all options and are at the end of your list of ideas, it might be time to genuinely take the experience offline! Sure, that’s another thing that is so easily said but poses challenges when it comes to execution. But if you apply the same creativity to this step, you will certainly find a way that fits both your and your date’s lives and personalities.

One of the benefits of meeting a TS woman on a  transgender dating site is that you’ll get an excellent opportunity to get to know her personality without physical appearance being too much of a focus. Aren’t we all a lot more relaxed when conversing with people on Trans Dating Apps, rather than in person? The privacy of your own home lends itself to many great chats.

Once you’ve clicked with your potential date, it is important you get to know each other. During this time, ask relevant questions when you chat with her or them on the transgender dating site of your choice. “Her or them”– asking about pronouns is a very respectful way to start, for example. While many trans women use female pronouns, not all do. It is wise that you get into a mindset of never assuming you know the answer when talking with your match and to have meaningful conversations. After all, both of you are after something long-term and real. Ensure you set a solid foundation for mutual respect and honesty. Your conversations online will help you build a rapport before going out on the first date. Knowing more about her likes, dislikes, aspirations, and dreams builds trust and will prove crucial for surviving your first date. 

However, it is the date itself where the fun begins. Meeting a person for the first time can be a nerve-wracking experience, even for the most confident of individuals, and regardless of gender. Fear not, though – in order to make sure that all goes smoothly between you and your match, this article will provide a survival guide for your first date with a transgender woman.

Get Rid of the Pre-Date Nerves

While being nervous prior to a first date is completely understandable, too much nervousness can have a negative impact on your date. You might start babbling too much due to your nerves, stop listening to her questions and replies, and make a fool out of yourself in some way or another.  

Of course, whoever you connected with on the ts dating site might face the same problem. You can safely assume, however, that they will do their best as well to rein in their nerves before meeting you.

One way to reduce your apprehension is by simply distracting yourself with something interesting before the date begins. If you like to hit the gym, do so a few hours before your date in order to keep pre-date jitters at bay. The following shower or bath provides a wonderful chance to prepare yourself in terms of attire.

Reading a book, watching a video or episode of your current favorite show can also help distract you from nervousness.

If neither of these ideas resonates with you, it might be a good idea to do some housework. Clean the room you’ve been procrastinating on, do laundry or reorganize shelves and cupboards – the manual tasks will certainly soothe your nerves.

The trick, basically, is to keep yourself preoccupied so that you avoid overthinking your situation, that is the upcoming first date with a trans woman. Eliminating pre-date nerves will help you feel relaxed and prepare you to have a good time when the date begins.

Prepare Accordingly

Speaking of preparation: A successful first date involves some level of preparation for what you are about to experience. This holds true both on the physical and emotional levels.

In terms of physical appearance, ensure that you are well dressed in a way that suits the context of your date. While clean, comfortable clothes are perfect for casual walks in the park, a dinner date or first meeting for coffee might require more refined attire. Hitting the sweet spot with clothing can be tough, and the fear of being over-or underdressed might cause you ample anxiety before your date. In that case, why not reach out to friends and ask them for help? They will certainly be more than happy to assist you in choosing the right outfit for your first date with a transgender woman.  

Emotional preparation includes planning the topics you want to discuss with your date. Brainstorm a little: What did you talk about when you were still chatting on the ts dating app or transgender dating site? Can you follow up on any topics, or expand your interest in others she mentioned? Also, think about yourself:  What would you like to share about your day, your week, your life? What strikes you as important for a potential partner to know? When you are well prepared, conversations will run smoothly and you will feel a lot more charming and confident. This will certainly carry over to how your date perceives you.

Arrive On Time

Being late is a total turn off for many people, whether or not they are transgender or cis. So yes, plan diligently when it comes to your journey prior to the date. Do not forget to take into account weekday fluctuations in traffic and check reports earlier to ensure you do not miss any news about road closures or cancellations of public transport.

If you must be late for any reason, whether or not it is your fault, make sure to call or text your date to tell them that you won’t be able to make it on time. Additionally, you should have the decency to apologize to your date once you arrive in person and try to make up for your lateness. If your date has spent their time waiting for you, then you had better be worth the wait.

Enjoy the Date 

Of course, we all want to have fun during our first date! Sometimes, however, we are too nervous or preoccupied with how we come across or how the other person perceives us to remember that we are on a date and should be enjoying the time.

If that is the case, don’t shy away from admitting to it. Showing the self-awareness to say “I’m sorry, I’m really nervous right now” will prove your sincerity and open up the date to a more intimate connection. Anyone who joins a  dating site for transgender women, men, and others will have their share of negative experiences that undoubtedly influence how they feel about going on a first date with someone. Being open about this will create a safer space for both you and your match.

Enjoying the date also includes flirting and trying to make your date laugh. You can be as silly as feels natural to you – after all, your potential partner wants to get to know you, not the facade you think you need to project.

Be careful with complaints. If you find the date’s venue to be awful, don’t spend all the time dwelling on this. This will make you come off as a negative person. You could instead suggest a change in location if you think so strongly about it. This will make you seem pro-active.

At all times you should be civil, polite, and open-minded. Listen when she answers your questions and be honest when replying to inquiries into your own life. Telling the truth is always the best policy, although doing so with tact and kindness will leave an even better impression.

Ending the First Date

Knowing when to end the first date can be quite difficult. Saying goodbye to someone you have not known for long can be awkward.

You can alleviate this by thinking of how to end the date on a positive note in advance: Do you want to accompany her to her car, or her train or bus? When bidding goodbye, consider how you can show that you truly enjoyed her company and want to see her again.

One thing to avoid is a rushed departure. If you have an appointment or commitment to attend to after your date, even if it’s just your bedtime because the next day is a workday, don’t let the time catch you by surprise. Remain aware of how late it is so you can guide the date to a natural end that leaves both of you feeling content and appreciated.  

Follow up

Last but not least, it is highly recommended to follow up after a first date. You might test her when you arrive back home or wish her a good night after thanking her for a great time.

If she beats you to it, reply in kind and signal that you want to make plans for a second date. No need to rush a decision that day, but showing her that you are more interested than before will help cement the foundation you both are building for a long-term romantic relationship.

So you’ve been active on a transgender dating site or ts dating app for a while and finally caught the eye of a trans woman. You chatted, truly enjoyed the back-and-forth, and feel a strong enough connection to take this to the next level.

Yet this is where things tend to get complicated. Online dating is already quite the challenge, but taking any relationship offline can prove daunting, no matter what gender you and your match identify as. The questions remain the same: When is the best time to suggest a real-life date, even at a safe distance if necessary? How can you be certain your potential partner feels the same? If you gathered the courage, how do you phrase your question?

Let’s assume that somehow, you did it. And congratulations, they said yes!

Now the real adventure starts. When you’re dating a transgender woman, you will face more – or rather, different – challenges on your romantic journey.

Your presence on trans dating sites indicates that you already know a bit about trans issues and the reality of transgender lives. However, if you are genuine in your interest when it comes to exploring dating a transgender woman, you will need to do your homework, as they say.

This homework includes research on several aspects of transgender life, including the harder parts and topics you, as a cis person (that is, a person who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth), might not have on your radar yet. The lack of true and practical information, which may be difficult to come by online if you aren’t entrenched in the community, further complicates your progress.

Fortunately, you have found this guide and thus a great starting point! If you have been wondering what it would be like to date a trans woman or if you have started dating one and need a roadmap to help you navigate the dynamics, the following information will be very useful.

Research and Reflect

Before you begin your search for a trans woman on any transgender dating site or ts dating app, you should take a bit of time to research and understand the various aspects of the transgender community.

Topics we recommend you explore if only on the surface, include but are not limited to: 

– What does trans/transgender mean? How does it relate to the concepts of intersex or the term transvestite?

– What is the difference between sex and gender?

– What are common gender stereotypes and how does the trans community work to dismantle them? What are gender nonconforming practices?

– What legal and medical ramifications are involved in being trans? What role do hormones play? What surgery options are available, and how difficult is it to access them? Who opts for surgery and why, who decides against it?

You do not need to spend too long doing this research before you will have successfully dispelled several myths about transgender lives.

Having at least a basic understanding of these concepts and questions will lessen the burden your future partner or date will have to carry. Just like it is not on people of color to educate their white friends on the realities of racism and ‘Life While BIPOC’, do not expect trans people to enlighten you. Some might be willing to, but the onus is on you to learn.

While doing this research, you might want to reflect on your own experiences. How do you experience your gender? What shaped it? What stereotypes do you maybe harbor? How does this affect the way you approach dating?

Dating a trans woman may not fit your preconceived ideas of dating a cis woman. We assure you, however, that it will be worth the effort you invest in opening yourself up for new experiences.

Avoid Transgender Talk During Your Dates

While you might be curious about your date’s history or details about their life as a trans woman, never make the mistake of delving too deep into the subject of transgender. Just as curiosity killed the cat, it could also kill any relationship potential that was budding between you and a trans woman. It is possible that the subject might pop up later, but in the beginning, it is better to err on the side of caution and steer away from potentially awkward subjects. Remember that, for most people, their gender is an intimate subject, and talking about it with anyone requires trust and feeling secure in the situation.

Even if she initiates the subject at some point, we recommend proceeding carefully. Be careful of boundaries and intrusive questions. However, when she expresses willingness to talk about transgender topics and her own journey, listen keenly and without judgment. Show that you appreciate the trust she places in you and proves yourself worthy of this trust.

First Impression Matters

How you meet the trans woman on your first date may make or break any chances you have of a long-term romantic relationship. Since yes, first impressions matter. Beyond the way you communicate, this also holds true for attire and clothes.

While not every female-presenting person in the trans community values fashion and spends ample time on styling themselves, putting an effort into one’s appearance is a form of self-care. If we feel comfortable in our skin, we will looser and more relaxed when meeting a potential partner for the first time.

You should complement this by putting effort into your dress and maintenance. You do not need to dress up to the nines – but make choosing an outfit an active and conscious choice. Select something that reflects you and your character, don’t ‘dress up’ or pretend you are something you’re not. Natural charm goes a long way and shows your date that you are genuine in your interest.

Be a Gentleperson

Some transgender women enjoy presenting even more feminine than their cisgender counterparts. Other trans women may act more genderneutral or be actively nonconforming and/or fluid. Regardless of how they present, be a gentlemanly date. Not in a condescending way, but from a place of deep respect.

Whether you are a cis man or a cis woman and about to date a transgender lady, you can be courteous. Chivalry, in the sense of pulling out chairs or opening doors, might have a very positive effect on your date. However, only do this if it fits your personality and style. As with clothing, there is no need to pretend you are something you aren’t. Engage your date in meaningful conversation, truly listen when she talks, and smile so that she sees you enjoy her company.

Be Prepared to Talk Politics

For many people in the transgender community, politics is an important subject. The government decides who can transition from one gender to another, whether or not there are gender options outside the binary of male and female, how easy access to hormones or surgery is, and how protected we are in our everyday lives.

While ‘Keep away from politics’ may be sound dating advice for some, when it comes to being active on a ts dating site, you should be prepared to engage in political debates.

This advice ties in well with the research homework you have been given already. Unless they know someone personally, most cis people are unaware of the legal aspects and challenges of being transgender. If you educate yourself, you will certainly impress your date by showing interest and communicating that you are genuine in your pursuit of dating a transgender woman.

When It Comes To Sex

… be patient. Taking one’s time is a good idea regardless of gender identity, since building a long-lasting relationship depends on so much more than sex.

For some transgender women, sex can also be a difficult topic. Not every trans woman had top and bottom surgeries, so do not assume you know what your date’s body looks like underneath her clothes. Once you have built a foundation of trust and you both feel comfortable in each other’s presence, you may certainly ask your date about their sex life. Share your own experiences, if you think it might help. Showing your partner that you are open to talking about intimacy will go a long way in making her feel respected and safe.

Communication is key here – never assume anything. Many trans dating sites offer the option to specify operation status and more, yet this does not mean every person experiences this the same. The wonderful thing about human sexuality is how varied and colorful it is. Explore with curiosity and an open mind. Don’t set yourself any expectations to meet, or signal your transgender partner that there is a certain way they have to perform in order to earn your affection. 

After all, you are dating a transgender woman from a place of love, on a quest for belonging and connection. Neither one of you is in this for a quick hookup - there are other ts dating apps for that.

While there are certainly more tips that will help you navigate the trans dating experience, this hopefully proves a useful guide and starting point. Now off you go, be brave, and make a move!

Not everyone has the guts to date a trans woman. Most people are socially conditioned in a way that the mere idea of dating a transgender person seems like a grave transgression to them, one that they are scared of committing. Still, there are a few courageous guys out there who want to know what it is like to date a trans woman. And they begin their search for the perfect trans lady love through a transsexual dating site or a transgender dating app.

But before you begin to date a transgender woman, there are certain things that you need to get absolutely clear in your head. The image of a transgender woman that you have in your mind, courtesy of the stereotypical images portrayed in popular culture, is far from what a real trans woman is like. So, if your sole motivation to date a trans woman is the hope of a kinky affair, then don’t even bother. The purpose of her existence is not to satiate your perverted fantasies. She is a woman like any other, creating music with every footstep and love with every glance of hers.

Before you get registered on a trans dating app or a trans dating site, there is a certain code of conduct of trans girl dating that you need to be familiar with. Below are a few typical characteristics of trans women that will help you figure out how to go about dating her.

A Trans Woman is Super Gorgeous

Contrary to the strange stereotypes about trans women being manly and slovenly, a real transgender woman is actually an epitome of femininity and beauty. If you just google the term ‘trans woman’, you’d know what I mean. So, if you get into trans woman dating with this kind of laid-back mindset that you don’t need to put any effort from your side, you are in for a big shock.

A trans woman is like a true princess. She has undergone so much in life that she knows how to value herself and her wellbeing. She knows how to pamper herself and take great care of her body and mind. A trans girl has the kind of skin that can give any runaway model a run for their money. She has mastered the art of applying makeup. She knows how to dress for every occasion. And yet, her look never comes across as over the top. Her elegance is understated like that of a classy diva, who doesn’t need flashy clothes or jewellery to showcase her beauty.

So, if you want to date a transgender woman, you better be prepared for a long period of courtship because such a gorgeous woman won’t be that easily impressed!


She is Mentally Strong and Resolute

A trans woman’s life is full of stories of endless struggle. Despite all the societal disapproval and apathy, she has come out in flying colours. It is quite possible that even her family and friends deserted her at a certain point in time. So, she has literally faced everything by herself. Transitioning is not an easy job; it’s not for the weak-hearted either. It needs immense courage to come out in the open with an identity that is in stark opposition to your biological gender. But she has done it all. Only a lady with strong willpower and an independent mind can accomplish all this.

When you are dating a trans woman through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app, you will slowly realize that you are in the company of a really inspiring person who can also motivate you to do better in life. And that’s the amazing thing about dating a trans woman. Her focus, her determination and her independent mind can teach her partner so many things about life. If you are ready to keep your ego aside and just observe, there are so many things you can learn from your beautiful trans woman.

Let’s say you had a bad day at work. Or your boss gave you some negative feedback about your work. Or in the worst-case scenario, you lost your job. You are feeling so dejected and depressed that nothing creates sense anymore. Now just imagine your trans woman, a person who is literally fighting society every minute just so that she can live out her desired identity. She is vulnerable to societal abuse on a day-to-day basis. Even when she is trying to date someone, she always has to be on her guard thinking what if this person physically attacks her for being trans. Such is the extent of transphobia even in modern-day society. Despite all this, she is dating you, helping you sort out your life and doing all this with a smile on her face. Your trans woman has a beautiful and resolute mind of her own. And the love between you two can change your life for good. 

She is a Woman like Any Other

Whether you’ve met her through a transsexual dating app or a transsexual dating app, this is the most important thing you have to keep in mind while dating a trans woman. She is a woman like any other. You cannot assume things about her just because she is trans. While dating someone, trans women like to be flattered, wooed, surprised, taken care of and respected, just like any cis woman.

When it comes to matters of physical love, they prefer getting to know you first before deciding to take the relationship to the next level. Cis guys have this assumption about transgender women that they are hypersexual creatures who won’t mind a casual encounter every now and then. Nothing can be farther from the truth. A trans woman is looking for a proper date with the possibility of a serious and long-term relationship, pretty much like any cis woman. She is not ‘available’ the way you might think she is.

In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, be prepared for a long inning. Forget all that you’ve heard about transgender women. The reality is she would want to know you more as a friend, a confidante and an interesting companion before she makes up her mind about the future of your relationship.

Just remember that she is a woman like any other. She is beautiful, sensitive, gentle and emotional. She expects her partner to woo her the good old-fashioned way and only then you can be sure of her love and trust.

A Trans Woman is Well Educated and Intellectually Strong

On average, a trans woman holds a university degree and is rather well-educated. In fact, according to research, a transgender woman is more likely to hold a college degree than your average cis woman. Although of course, finding employment remains a problem, especially in countries where the law is biased against trans people.

So, when you’ve met a transgender woman through a trans woman dating site or a transsexual dating site, keep in mind that the quality of conversation will reflect her education and intellect. You can have a great conversation with her about many topics – art, culture, literature, travel, cinema, politics, etc.

Many guys get intimidated by the idea of dating an intelligent woman. They get scared that it will be embarrassing for them if they are unable to match her intellectual standards. But if you are the type who likes an intellectual woman for a partner, a transgender woman is just the right type for you.

A Trans Woman Might Have Issues Which You Need to Understand

A trans woman is a strength and willpower personified. But she is a human being at the end of the day. Living the life of a transgender woman is like literally being in a war zone every day. You don’t know when and from where the enemy will strike because the whole society views you with hostility. The enemy could very well be lurking in your backyard. This is not exactly a comfortable space to be in. So, it is natural that once in a while, she does break down and has her moments. And at such times, she needs the support of her partner.

Her need for emotional and psychological support might even be greater if you started dating her during the transitioning period. Transitioning is a big change for her physically and mentally. And she needs your love and support to embrace that change.

Before you start dating a trans woman through a trans dating site or a transgender dating site, you got to realize that will have to stand by her through thick and thin. It’s quite different from dating a cis woman in the sense that a cis woman doesn’t have to confront society on a day-to-day basis. A transgender woman has a life full of struggles and you have to be with her in those struggles. It’s like any other relationship. You support your partner and they support you as well. Your transgender woman would help you sort out your emotional mess and motivate you to become a more positive and determined person. So, it is obvious that she expects you to be there for her when she is undergoing some problems.

Identity plays a crucial role in a person’s life journey. A person’s identity also determines how society perceives them. And that is why it’s so difficult for transgender people to be able to work out even the most basic needs of life – dating, relationships and a job. It’s hard to imagine that even in the 21st century; society is so prejudiced against trans people. But that is unfortunately the sad reality.

A transgender person can’t even date someone the usual way. They have to go through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating site. It’s literally impossible for a trans woman to attend a random party, strike a conversation with a random guy and tell him that she is trans. It is difficult to even imagine the kind of dangerous scenarios she could be exposed to if she does that sort of a thing. Transgender people are also vulnerable to cyberbullying and a host of online threats and abuses. Hence, many consider opting for a virtual private network and look for the best VPN service around.

So why is society so obsessed with making a transgender person’s life hell? What is their problem with a trans person? Well, it is their identity that society finds problematic because the desired and lived gender identity of a trans person is exactly opposite to their biological gender identity. That is, a trans person doesn’t identity with the gender they were assigned at the time of birth. And that is what society finds hard to accept.

Society is obsessed with a person’s biological gender identity which is the gender assigned to them at the time of birth. Since childhood, their respective gender identities are repeatedly reinforced in the minds of girls and boys. Girls are encouraged to keep their hair long, take interest in make-up and clothes, play girlie games and just generally behave girlie. Boys are encouraged to play outdoors and slowly develop body language and a lifestyle that is considered’ manly’. If anyone tries to challenge the conventional gender roles assigned to them and feel like they belong to the other gender, they are seen as a threat to the existing social order.

And that is precisely why society is so inhumane to transgender people. It views them as ‘transgressors. However, it’s not just trans people that society labels and judges. Those who identify themselves as genderqueer are also a victim of societal hatred and discrimination. These are people for whom gender is a fluid concept. They don’t identify with a particular gender. A genderqueer person kind of lives their own identity in between genders. They could also continuously switch between the two genders, according to their wish.

If you wish to date a transgender person through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating app, you need to understand a few basic characteristics of them. There are so many stereotypes surrounding trans people in society that it can be difficult to know how they actually are.

This article would list a few insightful points that would help you understand transgender identity from a holistic perspective.

Transgender People Are Not Necessarily Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual

This is a common misconception that all transgender people are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Nothing can be farther from the truth. To begin with, the term transgender is strongly related to one’s gender identity, as opposed to sexual identity. When we use terms like gay and bisexual, these correspond more with the sexual identity of a person.

Secondly, transgender people strongly identify with one gender, either male or female. Many even undergo medical transitioning to develop the outward manifestations of that gender and be recognized in society as that gender. As a matter of fact, many transgender people want to date and have relationships the heterosexual way. That is a trans woman desires a man, just like a cis woman does. And a trans man would desire a woman, just like a cis man. So, it’s wrong to indiscriminately label trans people as gay, lesbian or bisexual. If you are a cis guy and you start chatting with a trans woman through a transgender dating app or a transsexual dating site, she obviously wants to date you just like any other woman would.

Transgender people are also not genderqueer. They strongly identify with a particular gender and then try to live their life, according to that gender. A genderqueer person, on the contrary, doesn’t believe in the concept of gender. They can live in between genders or switch from one gender to another, as and when they wish.

Transgender People Identify with a Gender Different from the One they were Assigned at Birth

This is a pretty basic point. But it’s important to emphasize because many people still don’t have a clear understanding of the gender identity crisis that trans folks undergo. Cis folks might think that the strong urge to change one’s gender is just a whimsical fetish. But in reality, the gender identity of trans people is a matter of life and death for them.

From a very early age, they begin to strongly identify with the opposite gender. They don’t find pleasure or happiness in activities that a typical person born with their gender would. Because of this, many transgender people also experience gender dysphoria at some point in their lives. If you go through a transgender blog or read about the experience of trans people on a transgender forum, then you would understand the kind of grave identity crisis they undergo.

Because of fear of society and other reasons, many still forcefully try to live their life according to the norms of their biological gender identity. But there comes a point when it gets too overwhelming and they can’t handle it anymore. That’s when they come out as a transgender person.

A Transgender Person Might or Might Not Undergo Medical Transitioning

Many trans people decide to undergo medical transitioning in order to outwardly embrace their desired gender identity. That is, they want to have the physiological characteristics of the gender they identify with. The medical transitioning procedure helps them live in society freely and openly as the gender they identify with. It also helps them find a love interest or a partner. Transitioning is especially helpful for trans people who want to date within the normative framework of heterosexuality.

Having said that, many trans folks choose to skip transitioning altogether. They embrace their new gender by adopting the body language, dressing style and behavioural characteristics of that gender. It really is about the choice of the person concerned. Some feel just fine even without transitioning while others have this strong urge to physically be like the gender they identify with.

Medical transitioning is also an expensive procedure. Many trans folks can’t afford it. Besides, it is also very demanding physically, mentally and emotionally. Many transgender people lack the support of family or friends that they so need during the transition. Although things are changing now as many voluntary organizations are coming forward to help trans people with transitioning. Also in some countries, the state medical services can also provide for the transitioning procedure of a transgender person.

Trans People Contribute a Lot to the Society

Most people have this stereotype about trans people that they are some kinds of losers who portray themselves as victims all the time. This is crass, insensitive and totally unacceptable. But unfortunately, that’s how some in society perceive transgender people. If you read up about trans folks on the internet or just go through a transgender blog, you’ll come to know the kind of amazing contributions that trans people are making to society.

And they are not just trans rights’ activists. But transgender people can be increasingly seen in mainstream professions like doctors, engineers, police officers, academicians and even politicians.

There are many trans icons across the world in fields like entertainment, culture, art and literature. Trans activists are creating awareness not only on issues faced by their own community but they have also become a voice for the marginalized and under-represented in general.

Despite all these advances, prejudices against transgender people still remain deeply entrenched in society. There still are a number of clinicians who believe that gender non-conforming children can be set right through relevant interventions. That is, they should be encouraged to behave according to their traditional gender roles and this will eventually fix their ‘problem’.

The whole mindset of viewing the identity crisis of a transgender person as a ‘problem’ is just sad and it reflects the rather limited understanding of society on issues related to transgender people. There needs to be a larger social movement through which various trans issues find representation on a larger platform. There has to be greater emphasis on the fact that transgender people are not an object of journalistic enquiry. They are people, like any other and you need to connect with them at an individual level.

Those wanting to date a transgender person through a transgender dating app or a trans dating site need to understand that trans people have the same emotional needs as anyone else.

You’ve been toying with the idea of dating a transsexual woman for quite some time now. And you’ve now joined a trans dating site through which you hope to meet the transsexual woman of your dreams. Well, so far so good. But what you need to realize is that you can’t expect dating a trans woman to be like dating someone from a different planet! If you think a trans woman is an exotic creature who is completely different from your average cis woman, you are totally wrong.

A transsexual woman is a woman like any other. So, when you approach her for dating, do not harbour any pre-conceived notions or popular cultural stereotypes about trans women. Just connect with her as you would with any other woman and let things flow organically. It really is as simple as that. But guys tend to make it overcomplicated when it comes to dating a transsexual woman.

So, before you start dating a trans woman you’ve met through a transsexual dating app or a transsexual dating site, you need to get some basic knowledge on what it means to be a transsexual woman. Here are a couple of points that you should keep in mind before dating a transsexual woman.

You Got to Understand What Transsexuality Is

Before you begin to date a transsexual woman through a transgender dating app or a transsexual dating site, you need to do some basic research on ‘Transsexuality’. Ignorance is certainly not bliss, especially in such a scenario. You are more prone to stereotyping people or giving them labels when you don’t have a clue about who they actually are. But once you have some kind of background, you can understand better and perhaps even empathize.

The first thing that you need to understand is that a transsexual woman is not some crazy creature who spent loads of money on medical transitioning just because she had a whim one fine day that she wants to be a woman. If you think like that, you are certainly downgrading the life struggle of transsexual people and negating their strong sense of identity.

A transsexual woman has undergone transitioning because the gender identity she belongs to in her heart happens to be different from the gender she was assigned at birth. So, it’s not a frivolous choice she is making. Being born with the wrong gender biologically has always been a source of intense trauma to her and that’s why her identity is a matter of life and death for her. Once you understand this, you’d be able to appreciate her and her life choices better.

Once you understand what transsexuality actually is, you’d be able to comprehend in totality all the struggles she has undergone and the pains she has taken to live like the woman she actually is. And when you begin dating her through a trans dating site or a trans dating app, you won’t be lost as to how you should move forward.

Dating a Transsexual Woman Does Not Make You Gay

Many cis guys are scared of dating transsexual woman thinking that they will be perceived as gay if they do that. Well, if societal perception is all you care about, don’t even bother to date her. You are certainly not up to her standards, in that case. But even for your own knowledge, you got to know that dating a trans woman doesn’t turn you gay by any stretch of the imagination.

A trans woman is a woman just like any other. When a cis guy is dating a trans woman, it’s almost like dating any other cis woman. The relationship follows the same course and patterns of courtship. There are similar rules to be followed when it comes to physical love and intimacy. So, you are dating her pretty much like you would any other woman within the normative framework of heterosexuality. The question about you being gay because you are dating a trans woman doesn’t even arise.

The question exists mostly in your mind because you are focussing too much on the word ‘trans’ and not thinking enough about her identity as a woman. Just focus on her identity as a woman and all your doubts would go away automatically.

Don’t be Obsessed with the Subject of Her Transition

You’ve been talking to her through a trans girl dating site or a trans woman dating site for quite a while now. You think it’s the right time to make the next move and ask her out for a date. She happily agrees. Now, when you meet her at a café, how do you begin the conversation? Suppose you are meeting a cis woman for a date, you would obviously start with some small talk about how the café is, how the ambience is and then move onto topics like her hobbies, interests, etc. But when you are meeting a trans woman in a café for your first date, how do you start the conversation? Do you get obsessed with the word ‘trans’ and straightaway start asking personal questions about her transition, her past life, what body parts she has? Just imagine the kind of shock she would get if you talk to her like that on your first date.

So, the point is whether it's a trans woman dating or cis woman dating, the rules are somewhat similar. You connect with your transsexual date at an individual level and not ask uncomfortable questions about her personal life. That kind of behaviour is rude, disrespectful plus it would make her feel as if you are just interested in having a good time with her physically. She would think that you don’t value her as a person.

So don’t get obsessed with the subject of her transition. If she has to tell you something about her past, she will when the right time comes. But don’t make your dates like some kind of journalistic interviews about her identity as a transsexual woman. That would make her feel uncomfortable and damage your relationship before it has even begun properly.

Be Gentle and Understanding

A transsexual woman has undergone a lot in her life. She has battled societal apathy, discrimination and outright hatred. It is possible that even her family abandoned her at such a crucial time in her life. Having endured so much, she has come out a thousand times stronger. But she is a human being, after all. There are moments when she breaks down and can’t handle it anymore. You got to comfort your transsexual woman with your gentle love and understanding during those moments.

She might sometimes have mood swings for no apparent reason. Do not judge her in those circumstances and label her a difficult woman. Just be gentle and considerate. Once you have managed to walk with her through all the thorny paths, you will meet the most beautiful, compassionate and loving woman on this planet. Just give her you're understanding and compassion and you will surely receive her love and trust.

Be Chivalrous

Chivalry never goes out of fashion. A transsexual woman is a confident woman with modern sensibilities. And yet, there is a certain old-world charm about her. Deep down in her heart, she desires a man who still has a bit of good old chivalry.

You don’t have to do anything major to catch her attention. It’s those little chivalries that matter; open the door for her, pull out that chair for her to sit, make an offer to carry her stuff if the two of you are walking and she is carrying a couple of shopping bags.

And once your relationship has reached that stage where you visit her house frequently, help her a bit with housework. Cook for her once in a while or just do the dishes and tidy up her apartment.

Your transsexual woman is fiercely independent. So, it’s not that she expects you to do anything for her. But these little acts of chivalry will make her feel that you genuinely care for her and can do anything to protect her from all harm.

Appreciate Her in a Wholesome Manner

When you’ve just started dating someone through a transsexual dating site and they happen to be gorgeous, it is obvious that you are besotted by her physical appearance. But as you get to know her better, do not restrict yourself to complimenting her only on her looks or appearance.

In fact, if you spend too much time commenting on her body, it might just backfire as your transsexual woman will think you are just interested in physical gratification. So go beyond the looks and all. Get to know her as a person and then compliment her on those other qualities. If she is amazingly well-read, praise her for that. Maybe she is someone who can hold forth a great conversation on any subject. Make it a point to compliment her on those great conversational skills. She is perhaps a great listener and gives the most accurate, well thought out advice on any given subject. Complement her on that quality of hers.

Don’t reduce your transsexual woman to a face and a body. She is an amazing personality in her own right. So, learn to appreciate her in a more wholesome way.

Transsexual women are mentally evolved creatures. Her respect and admiration for a guy would increase manifold when she sees that he is taking an interest in her mind and intellect. So, if you’ve just started dating someone through a trans girl dating site or a trans woman dating site, get to know her first. Try to strike an engaging conversation and then complement those unique personality traits of hers.

If you are a FTM transgender guy looking for love, you got to check out a trans dating site or a transgender dating site. Once you’ve figured out which transsexual dating site serves the best purpose for you, the next step is to then get registered on that site and start communicating with potential love interests. As a trans guy, you are also vulnerable to threats and abuse online. In order to address this issue and have a secure internet network, you must consider looking for the best VPN service around. A Virtual Private Network service can ensure a fully private connection.

Being a FTM transgender guy is not that easy. Transitioning is such a challenging process and it saps so much of your physical and mental energy. While you are transitioning and even after that, your mind is preoccupied with the procedure. It’s like you whole word has turned down upside down. You are excited, confused, exhilarated, euphoric, scared, everything in one go. It is natural that when your mind is a site of such conflicting emotions, it is difficult to give your 100 percent to dating and relationships. But that aspect of your life is also important. Everybody needs a partner for their physical, mental and emotional fulfilment.

As a FTM transgender guy, it is important to keep certain things in mind before you start dating someone. Whether you’ve met them through a trans dating app or a trans dating app, it’s important to make sure that your concerns about your own life trajectory do not interfere with the course of your dating and relationship.

Here are a few tips that will help you navigate the complex waters of dating and a relationship as a FTM transgender guy.

Do Not Let Your Transitioning Process Overtake the Relationship

For a FTM transgender guy, transitioning is mentally and physically demanding. It can be very intense and can leave him with little or no energy to concentrate on anything else. But he has to be really tough and tell himself that his relationship is also a priority and he will give full attention to it even during transition.

A FTM transgender guy is very lucky if their partner is compassionate and understanding. But one cannot take undue advantage of that understanding. You have to realize that it cannot be always about you and your issues. A relationship works well only when it is about both individuals. Even during transitioning, spend quality time with your partner. Pay attention to their life, goals and achievements. All your conversations cannot be centred around the issue of your transitioning and identity. If that is your only topic of conversation, your partner will feel neglected at some point in time. And the whole relationship would become a drag and a burden.

So, create some boundaries and respect those. Maybe your partner had a super exhausting day at work. Maybe, they just need to relax a little and hear some kind and loving words from you. So be considerate of their needs and behave accordingly. Converse on some lighter topics to lift up their spirits. Just watch a movie together or listen to some music. Your partner has invested a lot in this relationship and they are as concerned about your transitioning as you are. But you have to remember that their needs and desires are also important.

So as a FTM transgender guy, just try to create that fine balance. Don’t get over obsessed with your transitioning woes. Have empathy and understanding for your partner, just like they care for you and your life.

Avoid Over the Top Masculine Behaviour

Some FTM transgender guys get really conscious about their masculinity. They want to fit as well as they can into the societal normative framework of masculinity and in order to do so, they often resort to stereotypical masculine behaviour. Resist the urge to do so.

Exhibiting over the top masculine behaviour like shouting at your partner or trying to dictate terms to them or refusing to do households chores can actually backfire and eventually ruin your relationship. Masculinity is attractive only as long as it is balanced and rooted in rationality. In this modern-day and age, nobody wants to be with a guy who is over-aggressive, ruthless and gets into a temper every now and then.

When you are in a relationship, it is equally important to lay bare your vulnerabilities. The tough guy act doesn’t always work. If you are overwhelmed, it’s alright to cry in front of your partner. If you have said something wrong to them or done something wrong, it’s alright to apologize. All these things will not make you any less of a man. On the contrary, your partner will respect and love you even more for being the kind and compassionate guy they always dreamt of.

Times are changing fast and so is the definition of a real man. A real man of the 21st century is gentle, kind, considerate and is not afraid to show his vulnerable side. He is as tough a soldier when it comes to protecting his partner or lover and taking care of them. But in his day-to-day demeanour, he is gentle and loving, not imposing. Once a FTM transgender guy understands all this, he will realize there is no need to resort to over-the-top masculine behaviour.

Join a Transgender Forum

A transgender forum is a valuable resource dedicated to the trans community. It has a lot of information and views on typical issues faced by transsexual people across the world. So, a transgender guy just about to start his dating life should definitely consider joining a transgender forum.

A transgender forum can also connect him with other members of the trans community. As a FTM transgender guy, you can always learn from their experiences. You can also read some specific articles on transgender dating written by experts. Alternatively, you could also go through a transgender blog that will again offer you valuable insights into the world of trans dating.

Before you join a transsexual dating site or a transgender dating app, it’s better to be equipped with some basic knowledge of how you should go about communicating with a potential love interest. The internet these days has a plethora of valuable resources that can be of valuable help to a FTM transgender guy looking for a potential date.

Communicate Your Concerns

Whether you’ve started seeing someone through a transgender dating app or a trans dating site, it is obvious that as a FTM transgender guy, you have some concerns. Feel free to share those concerns with your partner.

You have some emotional concerns with regard to how your partner perceives you, how they view your transitioning and if they judge you for being a FTM transgender guy. You might even feel awkward about sharing such concerns with your partner. But it’s absolutely fine. When you are in a relationship with someone, you have the full right to know if they are comfortable with your individuality and identity.

Unfortunately, society doesn’t judge transgender people very kindly. So, it is obvious that as a FTM transgender guy, you have some apprehensions about whether your partner is really comfortable with your identity. Just talk it out. Talking about these things will make your relationship even stronger. Or in the worst-case scenario, you will realize that you are not with the right person before you go too deep into the relationship. Both ways, you will benefit.

It is also important for a FTM transgender guy to communicate his sexual concerns to his partner before they decide to take the relationship to the next level. Tell your partner candidly about things that you are comfortable about and those that you are not so comfortable about in a physical relationship. If there are certain body parts you don’t like being touched, just tell them categorically.

Whether you’ve met someone through a transsexual dating app or a transgender dating site, it’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner before the two of you decide to go physical.

If It Doesn’t Work, Just Walk Away

Not all relationships are meant to work. Let’s accept it. Finding love often involves a series of hits and trials. So as a FTM transgender guy, if you’ve tried your best to make the relationship work but it still isn’t, then it’s perhaps better to quit.

Quitting can be very painful, especially if you have so many fond memories with the person concerned. But when a relationship turns toxic and abusive, there is no other way out. Some relationships start out very well but turn toxic down the road. There are others where you get warning signs from early on that this is not going to work for you. Whatever be the scenario, it’s better to just leave when you realize that a relationship is becoming a source of agony and pain for you.

At the end of the day, your peace of mind and mental health is most important. While a good relationship can do wonders for your emotional and mental health, a bad one can ruin you mentally. As a FTM transgender guy, you already have a lot to cope with. Maybe, you are still trying to sort things out with your family. Not all your friends have accepted your new identity yet. So in between all this mess, you really don’t want to suffer a toxic and abusive relationship. And you don’t deserve that either.

The online dating universe is full of characters. Especially when it comes to a trans woman, there are many guys out there who have a certain characteristic trait.  Whether you are registered on a transgender dating app or a transsexual dating site, you are bound to meet these types who are fascinated by the fact that you are a transgender woman.

Now, that doesn’t mean that these guys cannot be nice. Or that they necessarily have some ulterior motives. Love can be found anywhere. It comes under various disguises in the most unexpected of circumstances. And that’s the beauty of love. But when you’ve made a list of the best transgender dating sites and are about to register yourself on one, it’s best to get some insight into these typical personality types that you will definitely meet online.

Society still stereotypes transgender people. And these stereotypes are bound to reflect in the guys from that society. As a trans woman, you have to get used to the fact that your body and personality would often be seen through this biased lens. While that doesn’t mean that you write off those guys completely, it does mean that you have to be a bit on your guard while pursuing the dating business.

There are four typical personality types you’ll surely meet while dating online. Let’s have a look at them one by one.

The Curious Guy

Now, the curious guy is simply the guy who is way too curious about a transsexual woman. He has obviously never dated a trans woman before so he is just too overwhelmed by the novelty of the whole experience. When you are dating the ‘Curious Guy’, be prepared to be bombarded with a lot of questions related to your identity, your body, how you feel, what is your story and all that. Now while this kind of guy is not necessarily the wrong type, you might end up getting offended or hurt. As a trans woman, you might get put off by his lack of interest in you as an individual and his obsession with your ‘transgender identity’. However, if you give him a chance and not judge him too harshly, it is quite possible that he begins to admire you as an individual and connects with you on a rather genuine level once the initial ‘curiosity’ phase is over.

The Experimental Guy

Now, this is the kind of guy who might have dated a transgender woman before. But he is not interested in her as an individual. It’s a kind of an experiment for him, something he indulges in to prove that he likes trying out different things. He might be a smooth operator, making you fall head over heels in love with him. He will say the right things, never offend you, and pretend to respect you. All this unfortunately has an ulterior motive. He is probably just looking for a one-night stand to satiate his experimental urge. If and when he gets that, he might just disappear.

So, whether you’ve met him through a trans woman dating site or a transsexual dating app, this is the kind of guy you have to beware of. He will be all suave and sophisticated so it might be difficult for you to find out his truth. But if you are a bit careful, you would be able to see through his shallowness.

The best way to ward off such a guy is by actually encouraging him to see you on dates without actually giving in physically. That will expose him completely. Because physical gratification is the only thing that the experimental guy is looking for so if he doesn’t get that, he will just disappear.

But as a trans woman, you have to very careful about this type of guy. He is the kind who can actually mess with your heart and ruin you emotionally. He is himself clear about the fact that he doesn’t really want to date you. You are just an object of experimentation for him. And he will deploy all his charms, niceties, everything for that experiment to succeed. Once that experiment is over, he doesn’t know you. You won’t even exist for him. So, it is very important to stay away from this type of guy.

In fact, if you are careful, you can figure out such a guy during the initial chatting phase itself. When you are talking to several guys through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, you can actually make out from the conversation what their real motives are.

The Trans Female Fetish Guy

This kind of guy is the most dangerous. And the unfortunate thing is he is not in minority. When a trans woman registers herself on a transgender dating site or a trans girl dating site, there is a huge probability of meeting such guys. Now, this is the kind of guy who is actually into a transgender woman. He doesn’t really want to date them and is only looking for sexual gratification. He is deeply influenced by the portrayal of trans women in popular culture and wants to have some ‘fun’ with a trans woman on those lines.

For any trans woman dating through a transsexual dating app or trans dating site, this kind of guy will probably the first to take initiative and start sending messages right away because he is desperate for some action. And the ‘Trans Female Fetish Guy’ is so dangerous because he can even harm you physically.

The good thing though is that if you are a bit careful, it’s easy to recognize this personality type. This kind of guy won’t be interested in hanging out with you at public places like cafes, bars and restaurants. Even if he does meet you at a public place on the first date, it is guaranteed that from the next time onwards, he would just want to have you guys hang out together at his place or your place. His only motive is to seduce you into getting physical with him. The trans female fetish guy doesn’t want to be seen in public with you. So, once you blatantly refuse to meet him anywhere other than a public place, he will understand that you have figured him out and will stop chasing you.

But even at a public place, you have to be super careful of this kind of guy as he can go to any extent to fulfil his ulterior motives. He might just try to place your drinks or something. So as a trans woman, whenever you date any guy even at a public place, it’s best to let a friend or family member know your location so that in case you are in trouble, they can help you.

Also, once the date is over, make sure you get back to your place on your own.  Never accept his offer to drop you home. In fact, he shouldn’t have an idea of where you live. The trans female fetish guy is the kind of guy who can stalk you and potentially harm you. So, you have to be super careful while dating this kind of guy. If your gut instinct tells you there is something fishy about this person, then just feel free to leave in the middle of the date. You don’t have to give him the benefit of doubt because your safety is what’s most important.

The Random Guy

Now, the random guy is actually full of possibilities. And he can be harmful or harmless depending on the situation. Suppose you have just joined a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app and you meet a guy who seems to be a bit too spontaneous while going about everything. He just clicks on the profiles he likes and then on the spur of a moment, sets a date with you.

For a trans woman, all this can be a bit confusing and scary. It’s possible that he hasn’t paid attention to your ‘trans’ identity. Even if you’ve categorically told him that you are a trans woman while the two of you got chatting, it’s possible that he was lost in his own world and didn’t pay attention to what you said.

Meeting such a guy is like taking a chance. It’s possible that he runs away the moment he realizes that he is dating a trans woman. But an equal possibility is that he doesn’t care too much about your ‘trans’ status and the two of you connect magically and wonderfully.

In love as in life, it’s all about taking chances. Some changes work, others don’t. But there is nothing that we know for sure unless we take a chance.

At the same time, it’s important to be careful while talking to guys through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating app. Make it a point to communicate your trans status clearly from your side. It’s important for your safety because some guys can be terribly transphobic.