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1. With their professional history

2. With other people in their work environment

3. With organizational policies and practices.

Face-to-face semi-structured interviews were made with six transgender persons that work in organizations. From these narratives, it was found that the person's level of passing usually influences their relations and that the ignorance regarding transgender permeates all three domains of relations.

The Conclusions are:

1. The relations with work are marked by opportunity restrictions

2. The relations in the job hold the person responsible for their own intelligibility and safety

3. The relations with the organization vary according to the way it faces transgenderism and its own voice systems.

Transgenders are “people whose gender identity is different from their assigned gender at birth”. Individuals who identify themselves as transgender usually seek gender reassignment treatments, which may or may not include gender reassignment surgery. Transgender women (or trans women) are people whose body is read as male and whose gender identity is a woman. They usually go through treatments to acquire characteristics typical of the female gender and adopt names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as female. A transgender man (or trans man), in turn, is one whose body is read as female and whose gender identity is a man. They seek to acquire characteristics that are typical of the male gender and use names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as male. When considering their choice of work and hiring and admission processes, the word employed most often by respondents is if they are passable, the degree to which others take a transgender person as cisgender.

In practice, the higher a transgender person is passable, the less likely they are to suffer transphobia: if one's gender expression allows them to be seen by others as cisgender, they will not be subject to the prejudice and discrimination aimed at transgender people, increasing their chances of entering and remaining in the formal labor market. Two aspects affect them being passable: one's name and one's appearance. The ignorance regarding transgender people not only permeates the relations transgender people keep with others in their work environment, but also with the organization itself. The result is that trans phobia creates and maintains difficulties for transgender people in entering and remaining in the formal labor market.

A MTF trans woman is a lady who was born with the male biological gender. That is, her body had physical and biological characteristics of a man so she was assigned masculine gender at the time of birth. However, she identifies herself as a female. She had the eerie feeling of being trapped in a male body for a long, a feeling that gave her a lot of anxiety and discomfort. She battled this on a daily basis till she finally decided to come out as a woman. And once she begins to come out as a woman, she might choose to undergo certain medical procedures to develop the outward appearance of the female gender.

Having said that, it is not easy to be a MTF trans woman in this society. Although things are way better than let’s say 20 years ago, they are still far from best. People now perhaps recognize the right of transgender people to live a normal life but accepting them is a different issue altogether. It is still difficult for trans people to find regular jobs. If they are in college or university, completing their education becomes a challenge for them.

A transgender woman goes through a lot of societal challenges once she comes out in the open. But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. These challenges can definitely get her on the verge of a breakdown. But with her characteristic courage, determination and confidence, she can overcome these challenges.

This article tells you about the main challenges faced by a trans woman and how to overcome these.

Struggle with Identity

A trans woman goes through an acute identity crisis for a long time. For every courageous person who has come out as a transgender lady in the public, there is a rather painful background story. She undergoes the most harrowing of identity crisis while growing up. The society judges her by the identity that is assigned at the time of birth. She has the biological characteristics of a man so she is expected to behave like a boy. She is supposed to adopt the typical mannerisms of a guy and socialize in a male pattern as she grows up. But all this gives her enormous distress. She feels like she is trapped in a wrong body and there is no one she can communicate this with. The parents come from the same society so even they might dismiss what she feels and just ask her to conform.

And that is the worst kind of struggle anyone can face. To have people tell you in your face that what you feel so deeply and truly is abnormal, nothing can be more painful than that. This identity crisis often gives rise to gender dysphoria.

All this can be really traumatizing and scary because if you are an adolescent, you can’t even take steps to undergo medical transitioning because you don’t have the finances plus you can’t take such decisions for yourself. That’s why many transgender people come out in the open later in life.

But you don’t have to let this identity crisis mark your life. If you feel like a woman trapped in a male body, speak to your family about it. They might dismiss you at first but if you persist, they will understand you and help you in your journey. If your family is hostile, confide in a friend whom you think understands you. In the meantime, you could get valuable information from a transgender forum and learn from other trans people's experiences. If it gets worse, you could seek help from any of the organizations working for the rights of transgender people. There are many such organizations active these days. A simple Google search will help you figure out how you can get help from one of these.

Struggle to Find Love

This is the common struggle many transgender women face. Once they come out in the open, the next challenge is to find love. Societal apathy makes it next to impossible for a trans woman to seek a partner the way a cis woman does. She can’t just walk into a party and strike a conversation with a guy she finds interesting. The guy might just turn hostile and even abusive the moment she reveals her identity, for all she knows.

So the best bet for a transgender female looking for love is to join a transgender dating site. These days there are many dating sites specially designed for the transgender community. These sites are relatively safer s compared to conventional dating sites. Also on these sites, the person you are talking to more or less knows that you are a transgender woman. In a conventional dating site, there is always that added risk of someone not knowing your identity even if you’ve categorically stated that you are trans.

A trans dating site also gives you the flexibility of communicating with different kinds of people from across the world. Your choices are not limited. If you were dating someone through family or friends, then you would have a limited pool of people to choose from. So this is an added advantage with online dating. Also, there is no pressure to really meet anyone. That’s the best part. You can go on chatting with different people for a long time till you finally decide to go on a date. And if you still feel uncomfortable about meeting someone, you don’t have to. There is no compulsion.

Finding love as a trans woman is definitely not easy but it’s very much possible. It takes all sorts to make this world. There are many wonderful guys out there. Meeting the right one at the right time is all about destiny.

Struggle with Work and Education

Most transgender people undergo some kind of struggle with work and education. This struggle is more acute in countries where the laws are mostly directed against transgender people. But even in countries where the law recognizes their rights, trans people face this problem.

For a trans woman, completing her education or keeping a job is a major challenge. That is why many transgender women keep on delaying medical procedures because they are scared of losing on education or work. There are many transgender women who are forced to lead double lives. They have to hide their identity at the workplace. They are forced to live out their real identity only in private or with close friends. That’s why it’s no surprise that many trans women just quit their jobs.

For a MTF transgender woman with no savings or little financial means, this can be a source of acute distress. Everyone has the right to earn their livelihood. But in case of trans people, even if the company doesn’t directly discriminate against them, there is so much apathy and transphobia at the workplace that they end up quitting anyway.

For a MTF trans woman trying to live a normal life post-medical treatment, all this can be very complicated. Even if she legally gets assigned the female gender after the gender reassignment surgery, she still faces problems.

The only way to address this is by creating more and more awareness around issues faced by the transgender community. Many people don’t even know what is exactly meant by the term trans. They probably confuse trans people with gays and lesbians. So firstly, a massive social movement is needed to educated people about the meaning and implications of the term transgender. Laws alone cannot bring changes. It’ only when cis people in schools, colleges and workplaces will become champions of transgender rights that things will begin to change for good.

Struggle with Conventional Notions of Femininity

This is a typical struggle that a trans woman undergoes. She has the pressure to conform to the conventional standards of femininity. Just feeling like a woman isn’t enough. She has to make sure that her dress, appearance, behaviour simulate that of a cis woman. She attends grooming classes, learns the art of applying makeup, and takes voice lessons to make her voice sound more feminine.

Somewhere, a trans woman has to find her own ground. She has to create her own distinct style and aura. Even all cis women are not the same. Some cis women are ultra-feminine whereas others are more tomboyish and carefree. So there is no sure shot manual to being a woman really. A transgender woman should feel free to embrace femininity in her own unique style. She should not get bogged down by the whole conventional baggage of femininity. Her essence is that of a beautiful woman. And her outward being should reflect that in its distinctive aura. 

Portrayal of Trans People in Films and Television

It is perhaps not that difficult to recall films or television series where transgender characters are used as caricatures for providing certain comic relief and for aiding the development of other characters. This rather objectionable use of trans characters in a derogatory and inhumane way unfortunately still persists in mainstream media and the entertainment industry. There is definitely a greater degree of check on it now though because of increased awareness on trans issues.

Hollywood has a history of a rather problematic portrayal of transgender characters. The first film which comes to mind is Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Psycho’ that creates the stereotype of the mentally disturbed cross-dressed murderer. Subsequently, the portrayal of a transgender person as a psychopath murderer persists in many mainstream media representations.

But things have begun to change for good now. And one can find quite a few positive, nuanced and non-stereotypical portrayals of transgender people in cinema and tv series. What instantly comes to mind is the amazing TV series ‘Pose’ that tries to portray the ‘drag ball’ culture of New York of the 1980s. The specialty of this TV series is that it’s been produced by a transgender activist and also stars transgender actors. The music for the series has also been composed by a trans musician.

Then, there is the hugely famous ‘Transparent’ TV series that delved into the life of a Los Angeles family who discovered that their parent is a transgender woman named Maura. The first season was premiered in 2014. Owing to its great success, subsequent seasons were launched as well. The series was great in some ways but the controversial aspect was the casting of Jeffrey Tambor as the main character Maura. Allegations of sexual harassment were made against him by the transgender cast and crew members of the series.

In cinema, there is the brilliant movie ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ that is based on the real-life story of Brandon Teena, a transgender man from the US who undertakes a quest to find love in Nebraska but things take an ugly, unexpected turn and he becomes victim to a hate crime being plotted and perpetrated by two men known to him. The film is remarkable in its effort to explore the subject of violence against transgender people. Transphobia is generally dismissed as something limited to cracking jokes at the expense of trans people and not accepting them into one’s social circle. In reality, transphobia borders on hatred and leads to violent and sordid crimes against trans people. ‘Boys Don’t Cry ‘is daring in that it chooses to portray such a sensitive and important issue.

Then there is the famous movie ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ that is extremely problematic in its portrayal of a trans woman. The stereotype of the crazy, drug addict prostitute persists when it comes to portraying the character of a transgender woman. What’s even worse is that the director chooses a cis male to portray the lead trans woman character of the film. Jared Leto plays the character of the trans woman in the film. This is the problem one frequently encounters in the representation of transgender people in cinema and tv. One rarely gets to see trans actors playing themselves. The problem is not with casting cis actors either. But the director generally has a tendency to cast to a male cis actor for the role of a trans woman and vice versa. And that is offensive to trans sensibilities. Why can’t a cis woman play the role of a trans woman? And then one wonders that if the filmmakers’ understanding of trans issues is so limited and parochial, then how does one expect them to portray their lives with any degree of depth and sincerity.

There is still a considerable lack of actors from within the transgender community. Often when big-budget films are made, the producer is obviously looking for an actor with that kind of a presence which makes them sell the film at the box office. And there are hardly any trans actors with that kind of stature. Then, there is also a paucity of transgender scriptwriters and filmmakers. This is something we need to look at. Positive portrayals of trans people in media will increase only when the storyline is being developed by transgender people themselves. This is not to say that a cis person cannot make a brilliant movie about the trans community. Surely, they can. But if trans people get to portray their issues from their own perspective and vantage point, the level of conviction would be in a different league altogether.

But still, things have improved a lot over years. While the frequency of trans representation in media might not have increased that much, the quality of representation has certainly improved. There are more positive portrayals of trans characters in media now than, let’s say 10 years or 20 years back.

Trans Representation in Video Games

Trans representation in video games has certainly increased over the years. Whether the quality of representation has improved or not is another issue though. Video games have been notorious for their stereotypical portrayal of trans characters. Often characters falling under the LGBT umbrella are just vaguely added for the sensational value without any proper characterization. The trans characters in these video games are mostly side characters. It’s rare to find a video game which has a trans character for a hero or a heroine.

The video game which is widely regarded as featuring the first trans character in gaming is Super Mario Bros. 2. The trans woman character by the name of ‘Birdo’ is badly stereotyped in the initial Japanese version of the game. She is constantly referred to as the man who thinks he is a woman. Birdo’s character is eventually developed to make it reflect a trans woman but even that is full of a lot of problematic stereotyping.

Another gaming series well known for having a trans character is Mass Effect: Andromeda. It features a trans woman by the name of Hainly Abrams and the game features her post-transition. The game shows her freely acknowledging her ‘dead name’ to someone. Now, a dead name is the name a transgender person had before the transition. It is usually a sensitive issue within the trans community. Transgender people rarely share their dead names with anyone. It’s only after they have established a great deal of trust and confidence that they would consider confiding it in someone. But the trans character in ‘Mass Effect: Andromeda’ is shown to be sharing her pre-transition name so casually.  Although the makers of the game acknowledged this error, made apologies, and worked on fixing it as well. So that’s a positive development. Because of increased awareness on trans issues, media cannot get away with inaccurate portrayals of trans characters. There is a certain pressure to present fair and balanced characters which are good.

Many Indie games also feature trans characters. A game like ‘Do I Pass’’ is about passing as a cis man or woman when people look at you as a trans person. The Indie game ‘Losing Charge’ is based on the life of a trans teenage boy who lives with his sister and their dad. Then there are others such as Undertale, Crypt of the Necro Dancer, and 2064: Read Only Memories.

The Way Forward

They say that even bad publicity is good publicity. This holds true to a certain extent in the case of transgender people. Even if the representation of trans people in films, television, and video games is full of flaws, the good thing is that at least they are getting visible. Once an issue gains visibility, it opens up the possibility of a dialogue. Even if a particular tv show or a film has a somewhat derogatory portrayal of trans characters, it has gotten these characters to the forefront of mainstream representation. When you are critiquing those characters, it gets easier for people to understand trans issues because they have that movie or TV show as a reference point.

A lot of media representation of trans characters is skewed simply because the people who create these programs might not enough about a trans person. They might have never met a transgender person in real life. Or even if they have, they might not have known them close enough to understand their life and struggles. That is why it is important for transgender people to themselves get involved in the creative industries. Once trans professionals and artists start creating audiovisual and written content about their lives and struggles, others will be able to understand their issues better. And it would certainly pave the way for more and more positive portrayal of trans characters in media.

Let’s begin by clarifying that there is nothing like ‘not trans enough. If you feel like a woman, then that’s it really. You don’t need to strictly match the physical characteristics of a particular gender in order to belong to it. If you choose to undergo a medical procedure to develop the external attributes of a cis man or a woman, that’s totally your choice. But these external physical characteristics don’t define your identity.

If you are a trans woman, it’s the essence of femininity you carry in your heart. How you express it externally is your choice and prerogative. Similarly, if you feel like a man, you are a trans man. And you don’t need to go to ridiculous extents in order to conform to stereotypical standards of masculinity.

Transgender individuals often suffer from what is commonly known as ‘imposter syndrome. To put it simply, they feel that they do not quite fulfill the expectations of the identity that they are claiming and feel that they don’t deserve to belong there. They feel as if they are wrongfully claiming someone else’s identity. Imposter syndrome can lead to a lot of negativity and depression in a transgender person. They spend too much time thinking about their imagined inadequacies and deficiencies rather than just living life and being happy.

It becomes like a vicious circle in which all their focus is on how to match the societal expectations of a typical man or woman. In the process, they forget their unique identity and are always under undue stress to conform.

This article tells you about a few ways in which you can overcome the ‘imposter syndrome’ as a trans person.

Fall in Love with Yourself

Self-love is the most important step towards combating imposter syndrome. If you love yourself, you are too busy to think about other peoples’ opinions of your personality or way of life.

When you are seeking love through a trans dating site, you are seeking validation from someone. You want someone to like you and adore you. In the process, their opinion becomes so valuable to you that it can make or break your day. This is not to say that you should give up on dating! Of course, you should seek out a partner for romantic love. That’s a basic necessity of life. But at the same time, this should not become the be-all and end all of your life.

Fall in love with yourself. Make your personal well-being the most important project of your life. Constantly set short-term goals for self-improvement. For example, challenge yourself to lose 3-4 kgs of weight in a month. Set a goal to take greater care of your skin and improve your skin health in a certain stipulated time frame. If you hate a particular type of exercise routine, motivate yourself to go for it.

Once you start treating your personal well-being like a project, you won’t have time left for anything else. And all the negativity will just vanish.

Work On Your Self-Confidence

Confidence is the biggest asset anyone can have. There are people who are not so good-looking or competent but they have such high levels of confidence that you are spellbound by them. When they walk into a room, they can make everyone look at them just by the virtue of their self-confidence.

As a transgender person, have faith and confidence in your abilities. Even if your dressing isn’t that perfect, your voice isn’t that deep and baritone like as a trans man, people will ignore all these things if you are confident. When you walk into a room, have a subtle but convincing smile on your face. Always look into the eyes of people directly while talking. When you are listening to someone, your body language should signify interest. When you are in a social setting, take the initiative to strike a conversation. All these things speak of an impressive level of self-confidence.

Confidence helps you score high even when it comes to dating and relationships. When you are chatting with someone through a transsexual dating site, you got to know how o build their interest and take things further. A person with self-doubt and hesitation will just say some awkward things and then they won’t know what to say next. But a confident person would take the initiative to start and conversation and then follow it up with even more interesting anecdotes and stories.

Cultivate the Trait of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking sounds easy. It means to think positively so it’s easy, right.  But in reality, it’s a challenge to think in a positive manner. As human beings, our thinking and feeling patterns are predisposed towards reacting more strongly to negativity rather than positivity. Think about it. How many times do you really react to some positive news stories like some great discovery or invention, some great advancement in the field of medical science, etc? It’s also hard to find any positive news. Generally, we are surrounded by negative news all the time – bomb blasts, accidents, corruption scandals, and all that.

So as a transgender person, you have to cultivate the habit of positive thinking. When you get up in the morning, tell yourself every day that how it’s going to be a beautiful day and you look forward to it. Remind yourself of all your achievements and the good things you’ve accomplished for yourself and others.

Develop empathy. It’s amazing how empathy for others can result in an improved self-image and positive thinking in general. If you see an elderly person on the road struggling with their bags, make an offer to carry those for them. Make it a general habit to be more aware of your surroundings and help people whenever you can. This will surely open up your eyes to all that is good and positive inside you and outside of you.

Get to Know More About Various Trans Icons

One way to overcome ‘imposter syndrome is by getting to know more about various trans icons. Transgender people are making their presence felt in every field, be it cinema, art, entertainment, fashion, sports, politics, law, media, or any other area. Read up about various trans icons. Their positive life stories will certainly inspire you. You will learn about the importance of being original and unique rather than blindly following standards set by society.

Be Connected with the Transgender Community

It’s great to be connected with the wider transgender community. You could join a ‘transgender forum’ online and communicate with other trans individuals. You could also join a local group that takes up transgender issues and participate in their meetings.

This is a great way to expand your social circle, make some great friends and be more aware of your own identity in the process. When you are constantly in touch with other trans people and are regularly sharing experiences with them, you are less likely to doubt your identity.

Concentrate On Your Professional Goals

This is a great way to keep negativity and depression at bay. As a transgender person, it’s very important that you focus on your professional goals. When you are struggling with so many issues and trying to live out an identity that society is constantly trying to negate, it’s understandable that your professional life will suffer. But if you stay determined and concentrate on your professional goals, this can be therapeutic for your personal life.

Just as you set various goals for your personal life, do the same for your professional one. If you are in a field of work where one constantly needs to update their knowledge, take regular refresher courses. If there is a particular aspect of your work you need to improve, concentrate on that. Also, focus on your communication skills since these are very important for work.

As you focus more and more on your professional goals, your mind will become more rational and organized. And you won’t have any time or inclination for negativity or irrational thoughts.

Educate Others About Trans Issues

Give yourself the task of making your friends, family, and colleagues more aware of transgender issues. Talk to them, get to know their thinking, and then give them your perspective. Society has a lot of misconceptions about trans people. And a lot of these stereotypes exist because there is no awareness enough. This kind of brainstorming will help in creating that awareness.

Many transgender individuals are in a state of constant self-doubt about their identity because of societal stereotyping and expectations. Society knows little or nothing about trans people. So they try to fit into the binaries of male or female as defined by society and get anxious in the process. So it is important for every trans person to educate those known to him about trans issues. This will slowly lead to a change at the level of society and also strengthen his/her sense of identity as a trans man or woman.

Dating as a transgender has become relatively easier now. You don’t have to meet someone through friends and acquaintances to get a prospective date. There are so many dating sites and apps for transgender people. At the mere click of a mouse, you can start communicating with potential love interests. And then at some point of time, you can set up a real date with someone you are getting along well with.

When that girl or boy of your dreams finally says yes to a date, it’s easy to be super euphoric and get carried away! While you deserve every bit of that happiness and adrenalin rush, it’s important to keep some things in mind in order to make that first date special. There is no manual really but still, there are certain rules and laws of dating behaviour and etiquette that you should follow.

This article tells you about a few tips that you should follow while dating as a transgender person.

Make Sure Your Date Knows You Are Transgender Woman

This is most important. Make sure your date knows in advance that you are a transgender person. If you are dating through a trans dating site, they would probably know anyways. But a lot of trans people also date through regular dating sites. On these forums, it is sometimes difficult for the other person to figure out your identity unless you tell them categorically. So make it a point to tell them that you are transgender before you even start talking online.

Some trans people think that revealing their identity early on might prejudice someone against dating them. So they keep it a secret, waiting for the right time. But that’s not a fair approach. Your potential partner has every right to know about your identity. This kind of gamble is also not healthy for your dating scenario. The world is full of transphobic people. Even if you get along really well with someone, their behaviour might totally change once they know that you are transgender. It’s also putting your personal safety at risk. You don’t want to be harassed and abused by someone you meet for a date. So before you plan a date with someone, make sure they know that you are transgender.

Only when you are certain that they don’t have any issue with your identity, should you go ahead with seeing them on a date.

Have Positive Vibes

When you are meeting someone for the first time, it’s important to be pleasant and cheerful. You don’t know how it’s going to be. They don’t know how it will turn out. What matters is the moment. Just enjoy your date, be happy and make it pleasant for them as well.

Meeting someone in real life is totally different from chatting with them through a transsexual dating app. So just be your natural self and go with the flow. There is nothing as irresistible as natural chemistry built over real life meetings. It’s the kind of chemistry that gives you goosebumps and butterflies in the stomach. Maybe, you develop that equation with your date. Maybe, you don’t. There is no way to know in advance. So just relax and be comfortable.

Also, remember to smile! It can really make the other person’s day and put them at ease. Meeting your potential boyfriend or girlfriend with a frown on your face is not exactly the stuff of dreams. So wear that infectious smile and your date will be certainly drawn to your aura.

Communicate With Confidence

Great communication skills are an asset for anyone. The art of having a good conversation becomes especially useful during a date. Think of topics that are mutually interesting and then weave a conversation around those. Do not jump from one topic to another at your whim. Some of us have a habit of getting carried away when we talk, so much so that we completely forget the other person and just go on ranting. Don’t do that on a date!

That’s why it’s important to be a good listener. In fact, listening is a part of great communication skills. Listen with interest whatever your date is saying and then take the conversation from there. This will make the conversation interesting and also help build chemistry between the two of you.

When you are talking to each other, just think you are friends. That would make the whole thing easier. If we are too conscious about the dating thing all the time, it can hamper our ease and confidence. So just relax and have a chat around topics you are passionate about.

Don’t Expect Too Much

Do not expect a Romeo and Juliet kind of love story on the first date itself. Just take it easy. The first time you are meeting someone, it’s more like meeting a friend. Only when you get comfortable with someone and can have a decent conversation with them, you can begin to think about other things. So have realistic expectations from your date. Don’t expect them to fall head over heels in love with you. That’s probably not going to happen. If the two of you feel interested enough in each other after the date to meet a second time, that’s probably the best you can achieve.

It is also possible that the date is not going on that well and you’ve realized that. Still, it’s important to just stay cool and be civil. It’s not the end of your life. Enjoy the moment while you are there and then just coolly walk your way. However, there are certain places where you have to draw some boundaries. If your date is rude to you, it’s time to just walk away without a word. Do not get into arguments because that’s just going to create a scene. Just coolly walk off.

Expectations ruin the best of things. So even if your date has ended rather well, do not expect too much. If you will be seeing your potential love interest for a second time, look forward to it. But don’t make it the sole motto of your life. Concentrate on other things and be just cool and calm.

Know the Basics of Dating Etiquette

There are some basics of dating etiquette that you got to follow. These are fairly general and pretty obvious things that we often tend to overlook. When are dating someone in a restaurant or a café, do not go on a complaining spree. There are people to tend to find a fault with something everywhere they go. The food is not good, the service is bad, you don’t like the décor of the restaurants, stay away from all those irrational and irritating complaints.

Complaining incessantly about a restaurant’s staff or service during a date is just going to ruin your date. It will give your partner the impression that you are a grumpy and bad-tempered person. So do not indulge in that kind of drama.

Another important thing to remember is that you shouldn’t be over open and trustworthy during your date. Some people have a habit of getting so worked up that they confess everything about themselves to the other person during the first meeting itself. Do not do that. Be a bit secretive and mysterious. Be candid about your conversation but do not reveal too much about your personal life. Keep the talk centered on topics of general interest. Do not approach subjects too personal or controversial. It’s a good practice to refrain from revealing too much about your past relationships. You shouldn’t ask your date probing questions about their personal life as well.

When you are meeting someone for the first time, never ever start talking about the subject of physical love. That will just freak out your date and they will probably think you’re just desperate to get laid. Keep all that stuff for later on. During the first date, just keep it old-fashioned, classic, and simple.

The dating etiquette code equally applies to the other person. If they ask you too many inappropriate questions about your transgender identity, just tell them politely but firmly that they need to maintain certain boundaries. If you feel vulnerable at any point of time, feel free to just walk away. If at any point during the date, you feel that the other person is not sure about your transgender identity, just tell them categorically again. Even if you have communicated it before, there is no harm in telling again. This is the most crucial aspect of your relationship. Your partner has to be comfortable with your identity.

As the adage goes, the first impression is the last impression. In order to woo the transgender woman of your dreams, it is important that everything about the first date is in sync with her personality and sensibilities. Each individual is unique so you cannot have a generic date plan for every situation. You got to do a bit of homework and come up with something that strikes your trans woman as interesting and fun.

You might even be nervous and jittery thinking what if she gets bored on the date. It is obvious to have those mixed feelings when you are embarking on something new. But there is no need to panic. Planning an awesome first date is no rocket science either. You just got to be a bit smart, innovative, and creative.

This article gives you a couple of tips that would help you in planning that great first date with the trans woman of your dreams.

Come Up With Several Options for the Date Venue

This is important. A date is about two people. So you can’t just announce to your transgender woman that you’ve booked so and so place and that’s where you got to go. You have to give her a couple of options to choose from. And that’s why planning in advance is necessary.

Obviously, it’s not possible to have an unlimited number of options so 3 is a reasonable number. Give her at least 3 options to choose from. No matter how well you’ve figured her out, you can never be sure about someone, especially when you haven’t ever met them in person before. That is another reason why having a couple of options for your date venue is important.

It will also give her the impression that you genuinely care about her likes and dislikes. It is obvious that when you meet someone through a trans girl dating site and have just communicated with them online, there are some doubts and hesitations on both sides. That is why it’s important to go slow and take the preferences of your trans woman into consideration.

It’s best to go for venues that are relatively near to wherever she stays so that she feels safe getting back home. On the first date, she might not trust you enough to drop her back home even if you make the offer with all good intentions. Therefore, it’s important that the date venue is somewhere close to her residence so that she can get back safely by herself as well.

Take Her Personality into Account While Deciding the Date Venue

The best rule to follow is to have three options in hand – one with a classic and neutral date venue and two others that are customized to suit your trans woman’s personality and hobbies.

If you are going out on a date with her, it’s obvious that you two have been chatting for a while through a trans dating site. So you must have figured out something about her likes and dislikes. Is she a rock music girl? Or is she someone who would enjoy a date at an artsy café or bar with some jazz in the background? You got to figure these things out. Maybe, she is not that much into music at all. Perhaps, she enjoys outdoor adventure more. In that case, you might have to plan out a different kind of date for her altogether.

When you tell her about a date plan that’s totally custom-made according to her aura and persona, she would really appreciate it. Your transgender woman would obviously notice that you haven’t just given her a list of stock venues to choose from. On the contrary, you made a great effort to figure out her vibes and plan accordingly.

It’s best to keep one option classic and safe just in case she wants to keep it conventional and low-key since it’s your first date. Whichever option she chooses, but she will certainly notice and admire your initiative in figuring her out and planning a date accordingly.

Keep Your Budget in Mind While Planning the Date

When we are trying to impress someone, it’s easy to go overboard and spend beyond our means. Resist that temptation. If a girl falls in love with you, it’s not for your money or the expensive places you take her out to. It’s for your personality, charm, and sincerity. So when planning out that first date with the trans woman of your dreams, make sure you stay within your budget.

It’s very much possible to have a great date even within a limited budget. You just need to be a good planner. Check out various deals and discounts being offered at several restaurants and then choose some options accordingly. It’s very important that you are comfortable with the prices of the place you choose since you got to bear all the expenses yourself. As a rule of thumb, you pay for the first date, and then for the subsequent dates, you and your partner can split the bill.

Once you reach a certain comfort level with your trans girl, you can tell her your concerns without any hesitation or embarrassment. You can confide in her that your budget is a bit limited. She would not take this against you. On the contrary, she would appreciate that you trust her enough to share such an important detail of your life with her. Being open and honest with one another is the basic foundation of any relationship. To begin your first date on that note.

Remember Your Online Chats with Her

Now that the planning part is over, it is very important to figure out how to behave during your first date. Obviously, you try and strike a great conversation.  Starting though is the tricky part since the two of you have only spoken through a ts dating app and are meeting for the first time. A golden rule to follow is to remember all your previous chats with her and initiate a conversation accordingly.

Even if you had been talking only through texting till now, there is a certain rapport you’ve built. So take it forward from there. Remember any specific comment she made about something in one of your chats and bring that up. Tell her how that made you think about a particular subject. The safest way to start a conversation is to talk about general things like hobbies and interests. Everybody likes movies and music to a certain degree. So you could talk about that as well.

Real-life chemistry is obviously very different from talking to someone online.  A lot of it is destiny really. It can be like fireworks or go totally cold. But remembering your online chats with your trans woman is a good place to start. Once the initial awkward phase is over, your natural chemistry will come into play. But to begin a conversation, you got to start from somewhere.

Ask Her Out On a Second Date

If it all goes well and the two of you are having an awesome time on your first date, it’s time to ask her out for a second one. If she had a good time with you, there is no reason really why she would say no. But it’s important to make that second date offer right there and then when you are out with her because if you leave it for later on, she might think through it and change her decision. And you don’t want that to happen!

When you are in the flow of things and there is some chemistry building up between the two of you, that’s the best time to ask her if she would like to see you again. And once she says yes, you would have a brand new date to plan and look forward to!

Ask Her to Text When She Reaches Home

For a woman, it’s very important that you are concerned about her safety and well-being. You might be the best-looking and charming guy in the world but all that doesn’t amount to anything for her unless you are considerate and caring. Make sure that once the date is over, you ask your trans woman to text you once she gets back home.

If she forgets to text you for some reason, take the initiative to text her or call. That would make her feel that you genuinely care for her. 

One of the most important things about embracing your new identity as a trans man is being able to own it. You want to feel that confidence in your smile and demeanour and that manly swag in your walk and attitude as you make a foray into the world of masculinity. To put it simply, you want to come across as an attractive guy who is well sought after.

As a FTM trans guy, you are probably looking forward to dating someone. But your mind is full of apprehensions regarding your identity. Even if you are on hormone treatment, it takes a while to develop tangible physical characteristics of the ‘male ‘gender. So it’s important to stay confident, poised and have full faith in yourself, no matter what the circumstances be. The first and foremost rule to looking exceptionally attractive is convincing yourself that you are hot. That conviction shines through your face and being and people would be irresistibly drawn to you. Such is the power of positive thinking.

Next, it’s equally important to work on your looks and dressing sense. The dating scene is getting more and more competitive. So you got to be particular about putting forward your best version. If you’ve recently joined a transgender dating site and are communicating with a number of potential love interests, you are definitely looking forward to having a real date at some point in time. That is why it’s important to be always super well-groomed and never go lax about your appearance.

This article offers a few tips that would help you look exceptionally attractive as a trans guy.

Dress According to Your Personality and Aura

Everyone has a unique aura. And that aura defines a lot of things about us – the way we communicate, behave and all that. It’s important for a trans guy to go for a dressing style that complements his personality. It’s not just about how expensive your clothes are or how much you follow the latest fashion trends. If something looks awkward on you, it’s probably not meant for you.

Develop your personal style statement rather than blindly aping the latest fashion trends. Notice the kind of clothes that look best on you and customize your wardrobe accordingly. When you see a strikingly attractive male fashion model displaying the latest line of a high brand in a fashion magazine, it’s obvious that you fall in love with those clothes instantly. But just sit back, relax and try to visualize how these clothes would look on your body type. Ask yourself if you are comfortable with those colours or patterns. What works very well for a cis guy doesn’t necessarily rock for a trans guy as you have areas to camouflage like chest and butt.

Look for inspiration in the dressing style of other trans male icons. Check out their social media handles.  Scroll through a transgender blog and get to know how other trans men like you are dressing up.  This will help you develop a unique style statement over a period of time.

Don’t Go for Clothes that are Too Loose or Too Tight

Well, it might be challenging for a trans man to find clothes the right size. Even if you are on hormone therapy, it takes time for your body to redistribute fat according to male body shape. So, you always have the problem of a shirt being a bit too tight on the chest even if its fits perfectly on arms and shoulders.  It’s the same for jeans or pants. The waist might be perfect but the pants are just too tight on hips. Many trans guys get really conscious of all this and tend to buy clothes of sizes considerably bigger than their usual size. But that’s not the right approach.

Wearing baggy or ill-fitted clothes is not going to make you look attractive. It’s just going to be unflattering on your body. So the trick is to just try and try till you find something that fits you almost right. It will mean quite a bit of extra time for shopping and multiple trips to the changing room. But it’s totally worth it. Well, fitted clothes would make you look attractive, irrespective of your built and physique. If you are concerned about your butt and thighs being too prominent in fitted pants, then it’s the style that you have to change. Going for oversized pants won’t make you look good.

Be Careful While Selecting Pants

Now, pants are a tricky business when it comes to a trans man’s wardrobe. You want to go for pants that downplay the feminine bits like butt and thighs. So a good rule to follow is to never go for pleated trousers as these would just highlight the thigh and hip area. It’s best to go for the classic, basic pair of pants that is flat-front so that it doesn’t emphasize your hips.

Try Out Dark and Solid Colours for Shirts

Dark and solid colours would help camouflage the chest area, making it less obvious. So a black shirt or a deep blue shirt is a great choice. On the contrary, shades like fluorescents, whites and yellows will make the chest area even more obvious. So when in doubt, go for black.

Try Out Shirts with Irregular Patterns

It cannot be emphasized enough that one of the main concerns of a trans man is to hide any unwanted bulge in the chest area while dressing up. Shirts with irregular patterns work very well for that purpose. The irregular pattern kind of tricks the eye, making any bulge in the chest less obvious. Regular patterns, on the contrary, would draw even more unwanted attention to the chest. So FTM transgender guys should try going for shirts with irregular or asymmetrical patterns. These would complement the manly physique.

Don’t Be Afraid to Wear T-Shirts

A lot of trans guys shy away from t-shirts thinking it would be unflattering on their bodies. Nothing could be farther than the truth. A well-fitted t-shirt would emphasize your arms and shoulders, thus making you look manlier. When one tries to visualize perfect masculinity, broad shoulders are the first thing that comes to mind. And t-shirts are great in that they create that illusion of those perfectly square, broad shoulders.

It’s true that some t-shirts might be problematic for the chest area if that is your concern. But if you look around enough, you would definitely find styles that complement your arms and shoulders without drawing attention to the chest.

Work Out and Eat Healthily

This is an obvious one. But many trans guys choose to overlook this. When they are on treatment, they tend to wait for the treatment effects to settle in and then start working out. But you have to start exercising as soon as possible. In fact, the most important goal of your workout should be to lose as much weight as possible. Once your body fat gets totally transformed into the male physique pattern post-treatment, you can go slow on weight loss. But till then, it’s important to lose as much body fat as possible.

A lean, sculpted physique would naturally take care of all those problem areas like the hips, thighs and chest. It is equally important to eat healthily and drink plenty of water so that your skin stays hydrated.

Remember that looking like an irresistible guy is not just about having that perfect physique. It’s also about having a great skin tone. When you work out and eat healthily, your skin shines with that vitality.

Pay Attention to Basic Grooming

Basic grooming is important for a trans man. Make sure you moisturize your skin regularly, shave on a regular basis and use deodorant.  Your hair is also an important part of your personal attractiveness quotient. Look for a style that complements your masculinity and then stick to it. Go for regular hair spas so that your hair is in the best of condition at all times.

Your skin also needs to be squeaky clean. You don’t really have to go for facials but make sure you shower regularly; use a face wash and a scrub at least once a week.

Go for Shoes that Give the Illusion of More Height

When one thinks of a manly physique, a talk form or silhouette instantly comes to mind. For a trans man who has been chatting with someone through a trans dating site, it’s important that his lady love finds him tall and striking when they finally meet.

One golden rule to follow is to go for shoes that make you look taller. Boots especially are great at giving an illusion of greater height. So go for different styles of boots that complement your manliness and also take your style quotient up by a few notches. For daily wear, sneakers are also a great option. But when you are trying out a shoe, just remember to stand in front of the mirror and see if it creates that illusion of a longer physique or not.

Last but not the least, it’s most important to be confident in your own skin. At the end of the day, people admire you for your originality and uniqueness. It’s good to make these efforts to improve your external appearance but never lose your essence. Because your essence is what really drives the world crazy, in a good way that is.

When you’ve finally made peace with your identity and are ready to come out in the open as a trans woman, it’s a special moment of your life. You feel exhilarated and happy. But there still might be certain things bothering you. If you have a female partner who doesn’t know about your real identity, this can become a great source of stress. You have spent a considerable portion of your life with them. So they mean a lot to you. You definitely want to embark on your new journey but you don’t want to hurt them in the process. As a trans woman, you want your female partner to be a part of that journey. While this isn’t easy, it certainly is not impossible.

People who really love us do so unconditionally. It’s not just for looks or not even for our gender. When a relationship reaches a certain point, our partner begins to love us unconditionally. A sudden change in our life path might unnerve them but they will certainly walk with us through thick and thin. At the same time, a lot of understanding is also required on your part as a trans woman that this isn’t easy for your partner. The entire dynamics of your relationship will change. You will still be close but in different ways. So she will take her own time to digest all this. And you need to give her that time and space.

Coming out in the open as a trans woman is not the end of story for your relationship with another woman. Irrespective of whatever circumstances under which that relationship was forged, it has now become an integral part of your life. Your being a trans woman won’t make your love for your girlfriend or wife any less. So it’s important to be honest with them and not hide things. That is the first step towards reinventing your relationship while embracing your identity.

It can all seem baffling. But you can certainly save your relationship with a female partner after you’ve come out as a trans woman. This article tells you a couple of ways in which you can do so.

Give Her Time to Adjust to Your New Reality

You cannot suddenly announce to your woman that you are transgender. You need to do this slowly and gently. You can’t just bombard her with the news on the spur of a moment. You got to prepare the ground first and then slowly break the news. She might just not accept it at first but don’t lose all calm and panic. Give her time and her acceptance will come by.

The point is to be gentle, sensitive, and tactful. Remember it’s not just about you. It’s also about her life. This entails a big change in her personal life as well so she has got every right to take some time and think through things.

You should slowly start sharing your feminine side with her. First, she might feel awkward but then she would get used to it. If she gets upset or mad at your revelation, just don’t bring it up again for some time. Once you feel that she is in a better zone, things can be discussed again.

When you start dating someone, you don’t tell all about yourself in one go. You go step by step. It’s the same with communicating your identity to your wife or girlfriend. You have to work on it over a period of time. It just can’t happen overnight. If you are too hasty and impatient, you might just end up prejudicing them against you forever. And you don’t want that.

Assure Her of Your Love Repeatedly

When you communicate the truth of your identity to your wife or girlfriend, she might just feel betrayed. This is a natural thing to happen. So take time out to appreciate her and tell her how much you love her. This will reassure her of your unwavering commitment and sincerity, no matter what.

Take time out to express gratitude for how she has changed your life for the better. Remember the best of her qualities and remind her of those every now and then. When your partner sees how much you love and adore them, all their fears and insecurities will melt. And they will understand that your relationship is rock solid and nothing can come between the two of you.

Tell her that she will be the first one to know everything that’s happening in your life. There are no secrets between lovers. Assure her of that.

Do Not Freak Out if She Gets Uncomfortable

A relationship is always about two people. You might feel that you are the center of the world and there is nothing greater than your problems or issues. But that’s simply not true. For your wife or girlfriend, her concerns are very important and you have to respect that. Once you’ve communicated to her your identity, she might get uncomfortable around you.

It’s possible that she avoids you, doesn’t want to talk and withdraws into her own space. Do not judge her for that. Focus instead on how to positively deal with the situation. Try getting her involved in activities that the two of you enjoy like playing some sport together or watching a movie. Try to bond with her as usual and things will work out.

Above all, be patient. It’s a big change for her so she will get uncomfortable at times. Understand that and be empathetic.

Start Opening Up to Her Once She Has Fully Accepted You

Once your wife or girlfriend has fully accepted your identity, it’s time to open up about your new self. As a transgender woman, your personal life is going to be a certain way. You want to revel in your feminine side and are perhaps even considering medical treatment to develop the physical characteristics of the female gender. Whatever it is now is the time to start opening up to your partner. Once you feel she has really accepted you for good, start sharing all your deepest desires and plans for the future with her. Share your insecurities and fears too. This would make her feel special and valued as a partner since you are making her a witness to the deepest emotions of your heart.

Maybe, you want to join a transgender dating site and start meeting people. Communicate this to your partner. If she is uncomfortable with the idea, then just drop it for a while. Once you bring it up again, assure her that you are only looking for friendship, that you won’t go for anything sexual.

It’s a tough call. As a transgender woman, you might be tempted to get into a fling with a guy you met through a ts dating app. There is nothing wrong with it if your female partner is open-minded enough to accept this kind of liaison. But if they are not, then you have to observe restraint. At the end of the day, it’s all about your priorities. If saving your relationship is important for you, then you got to keep some boundaries. Communicate your needs and wants to her but also take her feelings into account.

Start Bonding With Her As a Woman

This might be difficult. She started dating you from a heterosexual perspective so she might not even be comfortable with that kind of equation. But if you think she has accepted your identity, there is no harm in trying. Try to develop your mutual chemistry as a woman. Bond with her over girly activities like trying out a new makeup look or hairstyle. Go to the salon together to get yourselves pampered with a manicure, pedicure, or hair spa. Or give each other a relaxing pedicure at home. This is a great way to initiate female bonding.

Go for ingredient shopping together and then try out new homemade skincare routines together. Again, all this is not as easy as it sounds because she is used to looking at you in a different way altogether. So go slow and gentle. But once she starts bonding with you as a woman, a different kind of chemistry will come into play which will be nurturing and therapeutic for your relationship.

Encourage Her to Increase Her Awareness on Trans Issues

Encourage your partner to learn more about transgender individuals. She could go through a transgender blog or read other material available online regarding the transgender community. She could also join a dating site meant for transgender people and communicate with trans individuals.

Once your partner gets to know more about transgender people, her prejudices would automatically meltdown. She would understand and appreciate your struggles better. Your girlfriend or wife would then view everything from the right perspective. She would no longer blame you for keeping her in the dark for long because she now understands that it’s not something in your control.

This is the best way forward for your relationship. Encourage her to understand the issues surrounding trans people and be vocal about these. Once she truly comprehends your life journey, she will support you with all her heart and soul.

Your hands require regular care and attention, just like the face and body. For a MTF trans woman, the care required is even greater because your hands might not be conventionally dainty or feminine. But you are a beautiful woman inside out. The beauty radiates through your face and shines in your soul. Your external appearance is just a mirror that reflects your beauty and hands are an important part of that look. It’s like completing a full circle. When your external beauty and internal beauty intertwine, the world is bound to notice your unique aura.

As a MTF trans woman, your hands are also a proud witness of the arduous journey you’ve undertaken.

This article gives you a few tips that would help you feminize your hands and make those more gorgeous and delicate looking.

Always Keep Your Hands Moisturized

Moisturize your hands regularly. This is the bare minimum essential for feminizing your hands. Even if we have normal skin, our hands tend to be drier than other body parts. Therefore, it is important to moisturize your hands immediately after a shower. You could use a good quality body moisturizer for the purpose or go for a hand cream. Many good quality brands these days offer excellent hand creams that have been formulated especially for the skin on your hands.

As a MTF trans woman, you want to leave no stone unturned in making arrangements for that special date with someone you met through a transgender dating site. But there are certain things about your appearance you can’t change. You cannot change the build of your hand but you can certainly make those softer and delicate with regular care. If you have had a difficult life full of challenges, it’s normal to have your hands go rough or coarse in texture. With regular hydration and moisture, you can improve the texture.

There are certain ingredients that work wonders for locking in moisture. If your hands are too dry and need extra attention, looks for creams and lotion that contain ingredients like shea butter and strawberry butter. The good old Vaseline petroleum jelly is also great for moisturizing hands! For extra moisture, use a thick hand cream or lotion at night before you go to sleep, and make sure you cover your hands with gloves later on. This will lock in the moisture while you are having your regular beauty sleep and you shall wake up to wonderfully soft hands.

Last but not the least, for any hand cream or lotion to work well, it’s important to stay hydrated. Make sure you drink at least 10-12 glasses of water every day and consume salads and fruits like papaya, watermelon, etc on a regular basis.

Natural Oils Should Be Your Best Friend!

Natural oils can work wonders for hand care. You can replace a hand cream or moisturizer with one or better still, use it in addition to these things. Natural oils like olive oil, coconut oil, sweet almond oil, and avocado oil can work wonders for your hands. Just massage your hands with a drop or two of one of these oils whenever you have time and you are good to go. Natural oils have an additional benefit over moisturizers in that they would increase blood circulation, making your hands look more healthy and vibrant.

Whether you are using moisturizers or natural oils or a combination of both, one golden rule to remember is that with hand care, more is always better! Our hands tend to get dry real quick as we use these repeatedly for a number of tasks every day. This makes them more prone to dirt and invisible bacteria, making the skin harsh and somewhat rough. It is therefore important to pamper your hands with these natural oils whenever you can steal a moment or two.

Go for Regular Manicures

For a MTF trans woman wanting to feminize her hands, regular manicures are totally worth it. If cost is an issue, you don’t have to go for over-the-top expensive ones. A basic manicure would do the trick. Going for a professional manicure has many advantages. The expert would get to know your specific concerns and customize a session accordingly. Regular manicures would not just keep your hands soft and supple but you would also get rid of any unwanted tan on your hands. Not to mention, it would ensure you always have those perfect nails.

A manicure is also a great option for a transgender woman who has a super busy schedule. A session at the parlour once a fortnight gets you sorted. It can also be a savior for emergency conditions. Let’s assume you met someone interesting through a trans dating site and the two of you are planning to go on a date. But your hands are not in the best condition at the moment. In such a scenario, a great manicure can give you an instant fix. This doesn’t mean that regular care and grooming of your hands is not needed but it can at least take care of that emergency situation.

Take Extra Care of Your Nails

Nails are a very important feature of a woman’s hands. Therefore, as a MTF trans woman, it’s important that you take extra care of these. A golden rule to follow is to avoid wearing your nails way too long or short. Keep experimenting with the length and with time you would find your ideal length. Nails that are too long look weird and are hard to manage as well. So make sure the length of your nails is just right.

While choosing nail polish, make sure it goes well with your skin tone and the general character of your hands. If you are not sure about what would suit you best, go for nude shades or lighter shades of colors like pink. Go for bright red nail polish by all means if you like but make sure you’d be able to pull it off.

The condition of your nails is also an important factor while choosing nail polish. If your nails are a bit unkempt and not in the best of condition, it’s safe to go for muted and low-key shades. Wearing bright colors would just draw more attention to the imperfection of your nails and you don’t want that.

Go for Hand Jewelry

The use of hand jewelry can give an ultra-feminine look to your hands. No guy could resist a set of soft smooth, well-manicured hands with trendy and chic hand jewelry. So a MTF trans women should definitely consider wearing bracelets and rings for feminizing their hands.

However, you have to be careful while choosing the right jewelry for your hands. Make sure you don’t go over top with hands accessories. You want to look beautiful and elegant, not bizarre and weird. It’s best to stick to just one or two simple pieces. If you wear too many rings, that would just draw even more attention to areas you are not very comfortable with.

The shape and build of your hands is also an important factor to consider while buying hand jewelry. Many MTF trans women already struggle with the issue of somewhat big hands so wearing delicate jewelry might draw even more attention to the size of your hands. Instead, go for hand accessories that are in sync with the size of your hands.

A chunky bracelet would be ideal for someone with big hands. The whole point behind wearing hand jewelry is to make sure the femininity of one’s hands is accentuated. Finally, the most important thing is to go for hand jewelry that suits your personality. Every personality has a distinct aura. Your makeup, dressing sense, everything should complement that aura. The same is true for hand accessories.

Finally, just be proud of yourself and the journey you’ve undertaken. As a MTF trans woman, your hands are a proud testimony to the many hurdles you’ve overcome through sheer willpower and determination. The difficult times are over. Now is the time to celebrate and pamper yourself. Just like your beautiful soul and indefatigable spirit, your hands deserve every bit of that pampering.