Serenity's blog

One of the most important things about embracing your new identity as a trans man is being able to own it. You want to feel that confidence in your smile and demeanour and that manly swag in your walk and attitude as you make a foray into the world of masculinity. To put it simply, you want to come across as an attractive guy who is well sought after.

As a FTM trans guy, you are probably looking forward to dating someone. But your mind is full of apprehensions regarding your identity. Even if you are on hormone treatment, it takes a while to develop tangible physical characteristics of the ‘male ‘gender. So it’s important to stay confident, poised and have full faith in yourself, no matter what the circumstances be. The first and foremost rule to looking exceptionally attractive is convincing yourself that you are hot. That conviction shines through your face and being and people would be irresistibly drawn to you. Such is the power of positive thinking.

Next, it’s equally important to work on your looks and dressing sense. The dating scene is getting more and more competitive. So you got to be particular about putting forward your best version. If you’ve recently joined a transgender dating site and are communicating with a number of potential love interests, you are definitely looking forward to having a real date at some point in time. That is why it’s important to be always super well-groomed and never go lax about your appearance.

This article offers a few tips that would help you look exceptionally attractive as a trans guy.

Dress According to Your Personality and Aura

Everyone has a unique aura. And that aura defines a lot of things about us – the way we communicate, behave and all that. It’s important for a trans guy to go for a dressing style that complements his personality. It’s not just about how expensive your clothes are or how much you follow the latest fashion trends. If something looks awkward on you, it’s probably not meant for you.

Develop your personal style statement rather than blindly aping the latest fashion trends. Notice the kind of clothes that look best on you and customize your wardrobe accordingly. When you see a strikingly attractive male fashion model displaying the latest line of a high brand in a fashion magazine, it’s obvious that you fall in love with those clothes instantly. But just sit back, relax and try to visualize how these clothes would look on your body type. Ask yourself if you are comfortable with those colours or patterns. What works very well for a cis guy doesn’t necessarily rock for a trans guy as you have areas to camouflage like chest and butt.

Look for inspiration in the dressing style of other trans male icons. Check out their social media handles.  Scroll through a transgender blog and get to know how other trans men like you are dressing up.  This will help you develop a unique style statement over a period of time.

Don’t Go for Clothes that are Too Loose or Too Tight

Well, it might be challenging for a trans man to find clothes the right size. Even if you are on hormone therapy, it takes time for your body to redistribute fat according to male body shape. So, you always have the problem of a shirt being a bit too tight on the chest even if its fits perfectly on arms and shoulders.  It’s the same for jeans or pants. The waist might be perfect but the pants are just too tight on hips. Many trans guys get really conscious of all this and tend to buy clothes of sizes considerably bigger than their usual size. But that’s not the right approach.

Wearing baggy or ill-fitted clothes is not going to make you look attractive. It’s just going to be unflattering on your body. So the trick is to just try and try till you find something that fits you almost right. It will mean quite a bit of extra time for shopping and multiple trips to the changing room. But it’s totally worth it. Well, fitted clothes would make you look attractive, irrespective of your built and physique. If you are concerned about your butt and thighs being too prominent in fitted pants, then it’s the style that you have to change. Going for oversized pants won’t make you look good.

Be Careful While Selecting Pants

Now, pants are a tricky business when it comes to a trans man’s wardrobe. You want to go for pants that downplay the feminine bits like butt and thighs. So a good rule to follow is to never go for pleated trousers as these would just highlight the thigh and hip area. It’s best to go for the classic, basic pair of pants that is flat-front so that it doesn’t emphasize your hips.

Try Out Dark and Solid Colours for Shirts

Dark and solid colours would help camouflage the chest area, making it less obvious. So a black shirt or a deep blue shirt is a great choice. On the contrary, shades like fluorescents, whites and yellows will make the chest area even more obvious. So when in doubt, go for black.

Try Out Shirts with Irregular Patterns

It cannot be emphasized enough that one of the main concerns of a trans man is to hide any unwanted bulge in the chest area while dressing up. Shirts with irregular patterns work very well for that purpose. The irregular pattern kind of tricks the eye, making any bulge in the chest less obvious. Regular patterns, on the contrary, would draw even more unwanted attention to the chest. So FTM transgender guys should try going for shirts with irregular or asymmetrical patterns. These would complement the manly physique.

Don’t Be Afraid to Wear T-Shirts

A lot of trans guys shy away from t-shirts thinking it would be unflattering on their bodies. Nothing could be farther than the truth. A well-fitted t-shirt would emphasize your arms and shoulders, thus making you look manlier. When one tries to visualize perfect masculinity, broad shoulders are the first thing that comes to mind. And t-shirts are great in that they create that illusion of those perfectly square, broad shoulders.

It’s true that some t-shirts might be problematic for the chest area if that is your concern. But if you look around enough, you would definitely find styles that complement your arms and shoulders without drawing attention to the chest.

Work Out and Eat Healthily

This is an obvious one. But many trans guys choose to overlook this. When they are on treatment, they tend to wait for the treatment effects to settle in and then start working out. But you have to start exercising as soon as possible. In fact, the most important goal of your workout should be to lose as much weight as possible. Once your body fat gets totally transformed into the male physique pattern post-treatment, you can go slow on weight loss. But till then, it’s important to lose as much body fat as possible.

A lean, sculpted physique would naturally take care of all those problem areas like the hips, thighs and chest. It is equally important to eat healthily and drink plenty of water so that your skin stays hydrated.

Remember that looking like an irresistible guy is not just about having that perfect physique. It’s also about having a great skin tone. When you work out and eat healthily, your skin shines with that vitality.

Pay Attention to Basic Grooming

Basic grooming is important for a trans man. Make sure you moisturize your skin regularly, shave on a regular basis and use deodorant.  Your hair is also an important part of your personal attractiveness quotient. Look for a style that complements your masculinity and then stick to it. Go for regular hair spas so that your hair is in the best of condition at all times.

Your skin also needs to be squeaky clean. You don’t really have to go for facials but make sure you shower regularly; use a face wash and a scrub at least once a week.

Go for Shoes that Give the Illusion of More Height

When one thinks of a manly physique, a talk form or silhouette instantly comes to mind. For a trans man who has been chatting with someone through a trans dating site, it’s important that his lady love finds him tall and striking when they finally meet.

One golden rule to follow is to go for shoes that make you look taller. Boots especially are great at giving an illusion of greater height. So go for different styles of boots that complement your manliness and also take your style quotient up by a few notches. For daily wear, sneakers are also a great option. But when you are trying out a shoe, just remember to stand in front of the mirror and see if it creates that illusion of a longer physique or not.

Last but not the least, it’s most important to be confident in your own skin. At the end of the day, people admire you for your originality and uniqueness. It’s good to make these efforts to improve your external appearance but never lose your essence. Because your essence is what really drives the world crazy, in a good way that is.

When you’ve finally made peace with your identity and are ready to come out in the open as a trans woman, it’s a special moment of your life. You feel exhilarated and happy. But there still might be certain things bothering you. If you have a female partner who doesn’t know about your real identity, this can become a great source of stress. You have spent a considerable portion of your life with them. So they mean a lot to you. You definitely want to embark on your new journey but you don’t want to hurt them in the process. As a trans woman, you want your female partner to be a part of that journey. While this isn’t easy, it certainly is not impossible.

People who really love us do so unconditionally. It’s not just for looks or not even for our gender. When a relationship reaches a certain point, our partner begins to love us unconditionally. A sudden change in our life path might unnerve them but they will certainly walk with us through thick and thin. At the same time, a lot of understanding is also required on your part as a trans woman that this isn’t easy for your partner. The entire dynamics of your relationship will change. You will still be close but in different ways. So she will take her own time to digest all this. And you need to give her that time and space.

Coming out in the open as a trans woman is not the end of story for your relationship with another woman. Irrespective of whatever circumstances under which that relationship was forged, it has now become an integral part of your life. Your being a trans woman won’t make your love for your girlfriend or wife any less. So it’s important to be honest with them and not hide things. That is the first step towards reinventing your relationship while embracing your identity.

It can all seem baffling. But you can certainly save your relationship with a female partner after you’ve come out as a trans woman. This article tells you a couple of ways in which you can do so.

Give Her Time to Adjust to Your New Reality

You cannot suddenly announce to your woman that you are transgender. You need to do this slowly and gently. You can’t just bombard her with the news on the spur of a moment. You got to prepare the ground first and then slowly break the news. She might just not accept it at first but don’t lose all calm and panic. Give her time and her acceptance will come by.

The point is to be gentle, sensitive, and tactful. Remember it’s not just about you. It’s also about her life. This entails a big change in her personal life as well so she has got every right to take some time and think through things.

You should slowly start sharing your feminine side with her. First, she might feel awkward but then she would get used to it. If she gets upset or mad at your revelation, just don’t bring it up again for some time. Once you feel that she is in a better zone, things can be discussed again.

When you start dating someone, you don’t tell all about yourself in one go. You go step by step. It’s the same with communicating your identity to your wife or girlfriend. You have to work on it over a period of time. It just can’t happen overnight. If you are too hasty and impatient, you might just end up prejudicing them against you forever. And you don’t want that.

Assure Her of Your Love Repeatedly

When you communicate the truth of your identity to your wife or girlfriend, she might just feel betrayed. This is a natural thing to happen. So take time out to appreciate her and tell her how much you love her. This will reassure her of your unwavering commitment and sincerity, no matter what.

Take time out to express gratitude for how she has changed your life for the better. Remember the best of her qualities and remind her of those every now and then. When your partner sees how much you love and adore them, all their fears and insecurities will melt. And they will understand that your relationship is rock solid and nothing can come between the two of you.

Tell her that she will be the first one to know everything that’s happening in your life. There are no secrets between lovers. Assure her of that.

Do Not Freak Out if She Gets Uncomfortable

A relationship is always about two people. You might feel that you are the center of the world and there is nothing greater than your problems or issues. But that’s simply not true. For your wife or girlfriend, her concerns are very important and you have to respect that. Once you’ve communicated to her your identity, she might get uncomfortable around you.

It’s possible that she avoids you, doesn’t want to talk and withdraws into her own space. Do not judge her for that. Focus instead on how to positively deal with the situation. Try getting her involved in activities that the two of you enjoy like playing some sport together or watching a movie. Try to bond with her as usual and things will work out.

Above all, be patient. It’s a big change for her so she will get uncomfortable at times. Understand that and be empathetic.

Start Opening Up to Her Once She Has Fully Accepted You

Once your wife or girlfriend has fully accepted your identity, it’s time to open up about your new self. As a transgender woman, your personal life is going to be a certain way. You want to revel in your feminine side and are perhaps even considering medical treatment to develop the physical characteristics of the female gender. Whatever it is now is the time to start opening up to your partner. Once you feel she has really accepted you for good, start sharing all your deepest desires and plans for the future with her. Share your insecurities and fears too. This would make her feel special and valued as a partner since you are making her a witness to the deepest emotions of your heart.

Maybe, you want to join a transgender dating site and start meeting people. Communicate this to your partner. If she is uncomfortable with the idea, then just drop it for a while. Once you bring it up again, assure her that you are only looking for friendship, that you won’t go for anything sexual.

It’s a tough call. As a transgender woman, you might be tempted to get into a fling with a guy you met through a ts dating app. There is nothing wrong with it if your female partner is open-minded enough to accept this kind of liaison. But if they are not, then you have to observe restraint. At the end of the day, it’s all about your priorities. If saving your relationship is important for you, then you got to keep some boundaries. Communicate your needs and wants to her but also take her feelings into account.

Start Bonding With Her As a Woman

This might be difficult. She started dating you from a heterosexual perspective so she might not even be comfortable with that kind of equation. But if you think she has accepted your identity, there is no harm in trying. Try to develop your mutual chemistry as a woman. Bond with her over girly activities like trying out a new makeup look or hairstyle. Go to the salon together to get yourselves pampered with a manicure, pedicure, or hair spa. Or give each other a relaxing pedicure at home. This is a great way to initiate female bonding.

Go for ingredient shopping together and then try out new homemade skincare routines together. Again, all this is not as easy as it sounds because she is used to looking at you in a different way altogether. So go slow and gentle. But once she starts bonding with you as a woman, a different kind of chemistry will come into play which will be nurturing and therapeutic for your relationship.

Encourage Her to Increase Her Awareness on Trans Issues

Encourage your partner to learn more about transgender individuals. She could go through a transgender blog or read other material available online regarding the transgender community. She could also join a dating site meant for transgender people and communicate with trans individuals.

Once your partner gets to know more about transgender people, her prejudices would automatically meltdown. She would understand and appreciate your struggles better. Your girlfriend or wife would then view everything from the right perspective. She would no longer blame you for keeping her in the dark for long because she now understands that it’s not something in your control.

This is the best way forward for your relationship. Encourage her to understand the issues surrounding trans people and be vocal about these. Once she truly comprehends your life journey, she will support you with all her heart and soul.

Your hands require regular care and attention, just like the face and body. For a MTF trans woman, the care required is even greater because your hands might not be conventionally dainty or feminine. But you are a beautiful woman inside out. The beauty radiates through your face and shines in your soul. Your external appearance is just a mirror that reflects your beauty and hands are an important part of that look. It’s like completing a full circle. When your external beauty and internal beauty intertwine, the world is bound to notice your unique aura.

As a MTF trans woman, your hands are also a proud witness of the arduous journey you’ve undertaken.

This article gives you a few tips that would help you feminize your hands and make those more gorgeous and delicate looking.

Always Keep Your Hands Moisturized

Moisturize your hands regularly. This is the bare minimum essential for feminizing your hands. Even if we have normal skin, our hands tend to be drier than other body parts. Therefore, it is important to moisturize your hands immediately after a shower. You could use a good quality body moisturizer for the purpose or go for a hand cream. Many good quality brands these days offer excellent hand creams that have been formulated especially for the skin on your hands.

As a MTF trans woman, you want to leave no stone unturned in making arrangements for that special date with someone you met through a transgender dating site. But there are certain things about your appearance you can’t change. You cannot change the build of your hand but you can certainly make those softer and delicate with regular care. If you have had a difficult life full of challenges, it’s normal to have your hands go rough or coarse in texture. With regular hydration and moisture, you can improve the texture.

There are certain ingredients that work wonders for locking in moisture. If your hands are too dry and need extra attention, looks for creams and lotion that contain ingredients like shea butter and strawberry butter. The good old Vaseline petroleum jelly is also great for moisturizing hands! For extra moisture, use a thick hand cream or lotion at night before you go to sleep, and make sure you cover your hands with gloves later on. This will lock in the moisture while you are having your regular beauty sleep and you shall wake up to wonderfully soft hands.

Last but not the least, for any hand cream or lotion to work well, it’s important to stay hydrated. Make sure you drink at least 10-12 glasses of water every day and consume salads and fruits like papaya, watermelon, etc on a regular basis.

Natural Oils Should Be Your Best Friend!

Natural oils can work wonders for hand care. You can replace a hand cream or moisturizer with one or better still, use it in addition to these things. Natural oils like olive oil, coconut oil, sweet almond oil, and avocado oil can work wonders for your hands. Just massage your hands with a drop or two of one of these oils whenever you have time and you are good to go. Natural oils have an additional benefit over moisturizers in that they would increase blood circulation, making your hands look more healthy and vibrant.

Whether you are using moisturizers or natural oils or a combination of both, one golden rule to remember is that with hand care, more is always better! Our hands tend to get dry real quick as we use these repeatedly for a number of tasks every day. This makes them more prone to dirt and invisible bacteria, making the skin harsh and somewhat rough. It is therefore important to pamper your hands with these natural oils whenever you can steal a moment or two.

Go for Regular Manicures

For a MTF trans woman wanting to feminize her hands, regular manicures are totally worth it. If cost is an issue, you don’t have to go for over-the-top expensive ones. A basic manicure would do the trick. Going for a professional manicure has many advantages. The expert would get to know your specific concerns and customize a session accordingly. Regular manicures would not just keep your hands soft and supple but you would also get rid of any unwanted tan on your hands. Not to mention, it would ensure you always have those perfect nails.

A manicure is also a great option for a transgender woman who has a super busy schedule. A session at the parlour once a fortnight gets you sorted. It can also be a savior for emergency conditions. Let’s assume you met someone interesting through a trans dating site and the two of you are planning to go on a date. But your hands are not in the best condition at the moment. In such a scenario, a great manicure can give you an instant fix. This doesn’t mean that regular care and grooming of your hands is not needed but it can at least take care of that emergency situation.

Take Extra Care of Your Nails

Nails are a very important feature of a woman’s hands. Therefore, as a MTF trans woman, it’s important that you take extra care of these. A golden rule to follow is to avoid wearing your nails way too long or short. Keep experimenting with the length and with time you would find your ideal length. Nails that are too long look weird and are hard to manage as well. So make sure the length of your nails is just right.

While choosing nail polish, make sure it goes well with your skin tone and the general character of your hands. If you are not sure about what would suit you best, go for nude shades or lighter shades of colors like pink. Go for bright red nail polish by all means if you like but make sure you’d be able to pull it off.

The condition of your nails is also an important factor while choosing nail polish. If your nails are a bit unkempt and not in the best of condition, it’s safe to go for muted and low-key shades. Wearing bright colors would just draw more attention to the imperfection of your nails and you don’t want that.

Go for Hand Jewelry

The use of hand jewelry can give an ultra-feminine look to your hands. No guy could resist a set of soft smooth, well-manicured hands with trendy and chic hand jewelry. So a MTF trans women should definitely consider wearing bracelets and rings for feminizing their hands.

However, you have to be careful while choosing the right jewelry for your hands. Make sure you don’t go over top with hands accessories. You want to look beautiful and elegant, not bizarre and weird. It’s best to stick to just one or two simple pieces. If you wear too many rings, that would just draw even more attention to areas you are not very comfortable with.

The shape and build of your hands is also an important factor to consider while buying hand jewelry. Many MTF trans women already struggle with the issue of somewhat big hands so wearing delicate jewelry might draw even more attention to the size of your hands. Instead, go for hand accessories that are in sync with the size of your hands.

A chunky bracelet would be ideal for someone with big hands. The whole point behind wearing hand jewelry is to make sure the femininity of one’s hands is accentuated. Finally, the most important thing is to go for hand jewelry that suits your personality. Every personality has a distinct aura. Your makeup, dressing sense, everything should complement that aura. The same is true for hand accessories.

Finally, just be proud of yourself and the journey you’ve undertaken. As a MTF trans woman, your hands are a proud testimony to the many hurdles you’ve overcome through sheer willpower and determination. The difficult times are over. Now is the time to celebrate and pamper yourself. Just like your beautiful soul and indefatigable spirit, your hands deserve every bit of that pampering.

The first step to making anybody else admire you is to love and value yourself. It’s as simple as that. But still, we look for recognition at all wrong places, changing ourselves beyond recognition; even torturing ourselves just to get the approval of other people. But it’s like a vicious circle. We don’t get anywhere. We get trapped in multiple images we have created of ourselves for the world to see. But none of these images match the real us. We have forgotten to love own self in the process.

It’s important for a trans man to break through those barriers of negativity that he has built all around himself. He has to stop seeing himself from the lens of so-called society. A transgender guy has to embark on a very personal inner journey, one that makes him connect with himself, one that makes him see his self in all its glories and follies and then loves it to the core.

Everybody gets enamored by narcissistic people. Why is that so? It is because we see in them a part of ourselves that we are almost scared to embrace. A bit of narcissism is good for all of us. As a trans guy, it also makes life somewhat less challenging for you. You deal with the practical problems of your life in a matter-of-fact way but you don’t let those build a wall of negativity around you. In other words, you stop seeing yourself in the light of others.

When you came out as a trans guy, not everyone supported you in that decision.  Maybe, even your family abandoned you. These are some harsh realities of life you have to learn to live with. And you don’t have the courage to accept these realities until you learn to be compassionate with yourself. When your world is centered around your own being, your heart also expands. You forgive others willingly and just concentrate on the pursuit of your goals, ambitions, and happiness.

This article tells you about some ways in which you can love yourself.

Pamper Yourself

The first step to loving yourself is taking pride in your physical appearance and being. Pamper yourself. Take time out to relax. Go for solo holidays. Shop generously whenever you get time. If you have a particular hobby, make some time for it. Treat yourself like a prince. Exercise regularly and eat super healthy. It is a psychological fact that when we look in the mirror and see good results in terms of fitness, skin glow, etc, our entire being radiates with positivity and happiness. And we spread this aura all around.

Make a list of your best qualities

Now, you don’t have to literally make a list. But just think of your best qualities and tell yourself about them. Everyone has certain attributes. Some people are very kind and compassionate. Others have a great sense of humor. Some have a lot of patience. Others have the ability to think spontaneously in any given situation and make quick decisions. What are your special qualities? Think about these and then remind yourself every day about your best attributes.

This might sound very strange but it will fill your life with motivation and confidence. As a trans man, you spend too much time thinking about your identity and how the world doesn’t accept it and all that. In the process, you fail to appreciate yourself as an individual. Reminding oneself of their best qualities every day helps break the cycle of negativity. You will learn to see yourself in a new light. As a trans guy, your attention will be diverted away from the problems of your life to the unique aura and power of your own personality.

Never Hold a Grudge Against Yourself

We all have a tendency to blame ourselves for something or the other. If some decision in the past went wrong, we remember it all the time and spend our present in regret. As a trans man, you have to break free of these shackles of negativity. You are only human at the end of the day. Nobody is perfect. Even heads of state make the biggest of blunders. The only way to fix a past mistake is to learn a lesson and move on. Holding a grudge against yourself is just going to get you miserable.

Look at Everything in a Positive Light

Now, this one is tricky. How do you look at horrible and negative experiences in a positive light? It’s not easy but very much possible. Suppose you dated someone through a transgender dating site. You guys met and everything and when you thought it was going really well, the whole thing just collapsed. This has made you so sensitive and edgy that you are off the idea of dating. But if you choose to look at that experience positively, your whole life will change. You got saved the burden of a terrible relationship. Think of it that way. Had you been with that person for long, maybe it could have been worse. So you just saved yourself and your energy.

Life is like a roller coaster ride. But even from the worst of experiences, we learn something valuable. And these bad experiences make all the good things that follow totally worthwhile. Once you learn to see everything in a positive light, you would stop being bitter and harsh on yourself.

Never Let a Relationship Decide Your Self-Worth

This is very common with people in love. Their mood and emotions get totally dependent on the relationship. Not just that, their self–worth too is determined by their partner’s perception of them. If your partner is positive and encouraging, you are lucky. But if you get to be with someone who constantly finds faults in you and makes you conscious about everything, it’s not good. Such a person will pretend to love you, maybe they do love you in their own way but this kind of love will be toxic for your identity as an individual. To learn where to draw the line. A relationship should never determine your self-worth and self-esteem.

If you are with someone who constantly makes you feel bad about yourself, they cannot be the right person for you. So have the courage to make yourself a priority and just walk out. Love and dating are all worth it but not at the expense of your own self. Chat with like-minded people through a trans dating site. Get to know them. But don’t get obsessed with the idea of dating and relationships. It is definitely a very important part of your life. But don’t let your whole life revolve around it. And don’t let it affect your self-worth.

If a girl you thought very hot and good-looking turned you down, it’s not the end of the world. Just get over it. She probably didn’t deserve you. If you keep on obsessing with the hotness of women and think of yourself as inferior all the time, it will affect your self-image badly. But if you just think of yourself as awesome, then you’ll just forget about that girl and laugh it off. As a trans man, make yourself the center of your universe.

Build a Strong Connection With Your Inner Self

It is important to recognize your inner self and have a dialogue with it on a regular basis. This doesn’t mean a literal dialogue but you got to forge a connection with your inner self. Take some time out of your busy schedule during which you do absolutely nothing. When we are constantly doing something or the other, our head is constantly buzzing with ideas. This state of frenzied activity leaves us excited and overwhelmed. In order to recognize one’s inner self, it’s important to cease all this activity for a while and revel in nothingness. This is the time set for you to draw deeper into the recesses of your inner self. You will draw deeper into your intuitive energies and understand yourself better.

It is not a conscious activity you can undertake. This happens subconsciously if you just let yourself be. Set a time every day during which you distance yourself from all the drama and just be still. In the stillness of these moments, you will discover your inner self. Meditation is also a great way to stay connected with your inner self.

Once you make a strong connection with the inner being, the external disturbances and perception of people around you will cease to matter. As a trans man, your being will radiate with positive energy. Every day will be full of opportunities and beautiful things to come. Negativity will be offshore. It would be a blissful state of being.

If they are socially open about being transgender, they have to limit themselves to places that are not transphobic. And it might be a challenge to find such places in small towns and cities. So trans people are always taking chances. Even at the cost of their safety and security, they sometimes take chances because the urge to feel loved is the same everywhere.

All this makes trans people trying to find love very vulnerable. They are vulnerable to all kinds of abuse and violence. There are probably so many transphobic people lurking out there who harbor not just apathy but plain hatred for trans people. And if a trans person is trying to look for love offline outside the circle of their friends or acquaintances, then they are easily prone to becoming victims of such people.

This article tells you about various ways in which trans people can find love and also overcome the challenges that come with the whole process.

Try to Find Love Online

It’s true that online dating might not work for everyone in the long term. But it’s a good place to start. At least, it’s safe and secure. Once you join a transgender dating site, you can at least chat with as many people you like without having to worry about hatred or abuse. The best part is you don’t have to meet anyone until and unless you want. And if you are just good with talking to people online, so be it. There is no pressure to meet anyone in online transsexual dating.

With conventional offline dating, your options are limited. But with online dating, you can meet a variety of interesting people. This increases the probability of you meeting the right person. The best thing about dating through a site specifically meant for transgender people is that you don’t have to worry so much about the chance of other people not knowing your identity. However, it’s best to be cautious and upfront. Reveal your identity to the person the moment you start communicating with them. You don’t want to waste your time talking to someone over a period of time who would run away the moment they hear you are trans.

Find Love through Friends

This has its pros and cons. The advantages are that you can be surer about the kind of person you would be dating. There would be fewer chances of them being a fraud or transphobic. The disadvantage obviously is that you have fairly limited options to choose from.

But as a transgender person, safety is one of your most important concerns. So from that point of view, dating someone through friends is quite safe. Your best bet would be to go out with someone who is directly known to your friends. That way you can be sure that they cannot harass you or get you into some kind of trouble. Another way to find a date is to obviously go to social gatherings of friends and friends of friends. Now here, you have to use your own judgment. One meets all kinds of people at social gatherings and not all of them will be personally known to your friends. So be a bit cautious and alert.

Ultimately, it’s all about your gut instinct. It’s rather unfortunate that as a trans person, you just have to worry about your safety all the time. Even when you are dating someone, the thing that preoccupies the most is if they will harm you or not. That reflects the sad state of affairs for trans people across the world. But things are changing, albeit slowly.

Stay Away from People who treat You Like Fetish

With trans people, unfortunately, there is a whole army of guys out there who would treat them like a fetish. It is easy to fall into the trap of such people because many a time, they might be the only ones wanting to date a trans person. And they’ll be so forthcoming and all that. You might just end up believing that they’ve fallen in love with you for good. But don’t fall into that trap. These guys are what we ‘chasers’. They are chasing you only because they want to get laid with someone who is a transgender. It sounds blunt but that’s the truth.

If you are just looking for some fun, it might not be that bad an idea. But if you are looking for dating someone, they’ll just end up hurting you. For a chaser, you are only an exotic fetish. They just want to check you out how you look when you guys get physical and then they are probably going to brag about it in front of their friends that I had a great night with a trans woman.

If you are a little bit alert, it’s pretty easy to spot the ‘trans fetish’ guy. He would seem to be so much into you that it would come across as too good to be true. And it will be that only if you take our word.

Always Listen to Your Gut Feeling

Our gut feeling is the voice of intuition. It might seem a bit illogical and superstitious at first but a gut feeling rarely goes wrong. You met someone through a transsexual dating app, it’s all going well and you are planning on meeting them for the first time. If there is a voice in the back of your head that says ‘no, don’t’, then you should listen to that voice.

It’s possible that you are over-thinking but even then, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Never try to negate your own intuition. Intuition will obviously not tell you the reasons behind something right away. But it will definitely give you a hint if the direction in which you are going is not quite right. And you’ll eventually figure out the reasons as well.

Be Safe

Safety is the most important thing. There are many psychos lurking out there whose only intention in life is to probably harm a transgender person. So take all the necessary precautions. If you go out on a date with someone, keep someone close to you informed. Text them the venue address. If possible, ask them to hang out somewhere close to the venue so that they are nearby if you need help.

Never meet anyone at their place for a date, no matter how much they sweet talk you into doing that. If they invite you for some house party or want to meet in some private place, just decline politely but firmly. When you date someone, make it a point to meet them only in public. Only when you are really sure this is getting somewhere for good, should you take it to the next level.

Try to do some investigation from your own end about the kind of person you are dating. One obvious way of doing this is to look for their profile on social media. Check out the information provided by them to see if there is any discrepancy between what they told you and what is out there. If you cannot find them on social media at all, that too is a red flag. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are dodgy but still, you should be on your guard.

Love is the most beautiful feeling of life. True love elevates us to another level. And you don’t deserve to go through hatred and abuse in the process of finding love. So just go slow and gentle and trust your instinct.

Never Lose Hope

As a transgender person trying to find love, it is quite possible that you feel dejected at times and begin to lose hope. But if you stay strong and resilient, you will definitely overcome it. If you have dated a couple of times and it still hasn’t worked out, just take a break and relax. Life is not always about dating. Just go with the flow and meet people. Sometimes, we meet that special person of our life in places and situations we are least expecting to. Dating is not the only way to meet the love of your life. Sometimes, when you just let go of certain things and live life, wonderful things happen.

Concentrate on yourself, your hobbies, and your interests. Redefine your life if you think you’ve gotten stuck into the same old, boring routine for long. Sometimes, things don’t work out because we get trapped in monotony. We don’t realize it at that time. But this monotony goes on circulating sameness and prevents new and exciting things from happening. Break the pattern.

Face Feminization Surgery or FFS for short, is a facial reconstruction procedure used to give a masculine face a more feminine appearance. It encompasses a broad range of systems designed to alter typical male features bringing them closer to a characteristic female feature. Some of the masculine features developed include various bony and soft tissues such as brows, nose, lips, forehead, cheek, and jawline.

Features in the upper third of the face seem to be the most important, and various procedures such as brow lift, rhinoplasty, and cheek implantation are included in face feminization surgery. However, subtle changes in the lips, such as lip augmentation can have a significant effect.

What to Expect in Face Feminization Surgery>>

Facial feminization surgery might include;

    1. Forehead contouring: Bony ridge above women’s eyes socket is less pronounced. The outlines of the forehead tend to be higher, smoother, and more vertical. Part of forehead bone can be cut, removed, reshaped, and fixed back in place to achieve this look.

    2. Eye and lid modification: Here, excess tissues are cut away from the upper eyelids.

    3. Cheek Augmentation: This procedure is done to achieve the prominent round cheeks women have in the middle third of their face. Cheek augmentation can be performed by breaking and moving the cheekbones into a different position. A different way is by taking fat from a separate part of the body and placing it in the cheeks to alter its size and shape.

    4. Nose Reshaping: This procedure involves reducing the size of the nose and its angles for transgender women.

    5. Lip lift and Augmentation: This procedure involves the use of implants to achieve a typical shorter and more curled female lip.

Some other procedures to expect are; Mandibular angle reduction, Genioplasty, Tracheal shave, Lowering the hairline, and Hair transplantation.

Definitive results after this surgery might take up to a year to appear. Face Feminization Surgery can be an essential part of gender transition that can dramatically improve the quality of life in mtfs.

Long hair is one trait generally associated with women and girls. So, if you want to look less feminine you should consider getting a haircut. The right haircut will highlight your face’s bone structure and make you look manlier. For the best haircuts, consult a barber or a hairdresser. These persons are trained in cutting hair and getting a botched haircut from yourself or a friend will make you look untidy or poorly groomed.

Breasts are another trait associated with women and girls. If you want to look less feminine, they will have to go. But remember this is about looking less feminine without getting gender reassignment surgery. One way to reduce the appearance of your breasts is by binding them. There are many methods and tips available online for binding your chest but be careful not to choose any that may be harmful or may cause discomfort.

The right wardrobe can without a doubt make you look less feminine. Please note that this does not mean baggy pants, beanies, and oversized shirts. This simply means choosing the right kinds of clothes. Certain patterns on shirts can accentuate the bulge your breasts make, such as stripes, and should be avoided. Pleated pants and skinny jeans hug your curves and make you look feminine. Avoid those and opt for straight cut pants that will hide your bum and your curves. Trade in those flats and heels for sneakers, boots and male shoes. Accessories such as belts and watches can also make you look more masculine.

To be taken seriously as a man, you must have a bulge. This is the outline of your penis in jeans or shorts. Because you are not getting the surgery, you will have to improvise. Luckily, there are many underpants that come with built-in bulges and are designed specifically for FTM Transgender Men. You don't have to pack every day, but it certainly makes you look much more believable. You will have to decide if you want to hard pack or soft pack but this all depends on your environment. If you have a hard pack everywhere you will look like a pervert. So please bear in mind your surroundings and the  people that will be around you.  

For trans women, looking masculine can really take a toll on mental health and overall happiness. The persons around you may knowingly or unknowingly refer to you as "he" or "him" simply because of the way you look. But a beard, large arms or flat chest doesn't make you any less of a woman than a girl with big boobs and broad hips. For personal reasons, you may opt to not get gender reassignment surgery and that is completely fine. It is your life and you should live it the best way you see fit. Here are a few ways to make yourself look less masculine without getting “the surgery”

Eventually, your next step for legal transition will be to change your gender marker. Now, this part is significantly more difficult and varies wildly from state to state. Some states are relatively simple, while others are a right pain in the butt. For example, I am very privileged to have done all this in Minnesota, which has one of the more trans-friendly laws regarding gender change. For me, I had to consult with a physician about my gender identity and present a document from her verifying that she believes my gender identity to be valid (though ironically, the Judge presiding over my case didn't even ask for it! Don't gamble on that though ), alongside dotting my I's and crossing my t's of course. I got it changed on my social security card, my birth certificate, and my photo ID.

Unfortunately, not every gender change is going to be that simple. A lot of states require that you undergo gender reassignment surgery before you are allowed to change your name, which is both cost-prohibitive for many, but also not something that every trans person wishes to undergo. Some states will also require that your gender change is noted on your birth certificate (mine did not, thankfully). Of course, knowing how the United States can often treat trans people, it should not be surprising at all to find out that a few states are not interested in trans rights beyond seeing the advance of these rights as a threat.

In Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee, a person cannot change the gender on their birth certificate to match their gender. In all three, however, a person may still change the gender on their driver's license just by having a notice from their physician verifying their gender identity. Kansas has laws that prevent changes to a birth certificate other than minor changes, and Tennessee is the only state to specifically bar trans people from changing their gender marker.

It's not all bad though, because at least driver's license gender change laws are significantly less stringent. Unfortunately, you will still have to deal with some rigmarole depending on your state. Luckily, states generally do not require SRS in order to get the gender marker changed on your driver's license, meaning that you will still be able to present as your gender in public if you can't change it on your birth certificate. The conflict with states not allowing birth certificate changes can present complications, however; for instance, if you were born in Ohio and moved to Kentucky, Kentucky law requires that your driver's license's marker match your birth certificate's.

While we are admittedly in a bit of a sour spot in history for trans people with the election of Donald Trump to the presidency and setbacks on trans rights, trans people have seen many legal victories in recent years. For example, before April of this year, Idaho was alongside Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee in denying trans people the right to change their gender marker on their birth certificate. However, a subsequent lawsuit and decision by an Idaho District Court Judge resulted in Idaho law being changed to the effect that trans people's request to change their gender marker is not automatically denied anymore. Not only that, but SRS is not required, and neither is a notation of the gender having been changed. There are lawsuits against other such laws, including Ohio, so we may well see laws relaxed.

Because of the complexity of laws regarding changing your gender, such an article cannot and should not be used as your sole source of information. In order to get a proper understanding of your state's laws, check out here... Changing Birth Certificate Gender Designations: State-By-State Guidelines.

In a quest to live happier lives, and make their bodies more congruent with their gender identity; some transgender people undergo specific medical treatments. There is an overwhelming consensus in the medical community that transition-related care is medically necessary for any Trans individual. While this care is considered life-saving and even critical for many trans people, not everyone needs medical care to live their desired life. There are various medical treatments do trans people available based on individual needs, and in this blog post, we will be exploring hormone therapy.

Hormone Therapy

Masculinizing Treatments

In general, surgery is required to obtain satisfactory physical characteristics in most trans people. Upon cessation of hormonal treatment, those traits reverse unless chemical or surgical castration has occurred. However, in trans men, some hormonally-induced changes may become virtually irreversible within weeks. Trans women, on the other hand, usually have to take hormones for many months before they can see any irreversible change.

Conclusion