User blogs

Society has now certainly become more open and receptive to the idea of people being different. But a transgender person still faces social stigma and discrimination. People would turn the transgender person into a fetish, treat them like a subject of enquiry and be fascinated by them in a very morbid, inhumane sort of way. But there still are very few people who would consider dating a transgender woman.

If you are one of those unique and courageous men who have decided to step into the intimate world of a transgender woman, it is important for you to know what impresses her and what does not. Just like every cis woman, a transgender woman admires an honest, truthful and chivalrous man. Chivalry never gets out of fashion. But there are certain things about which you have to be extra careful while trying to impress a transgender woman.

There are certain tips you can follow. And if you do manage to ace these tips, the transgender woman you have been admiring from a distance will certainly welcome you into her beautiful and feminine world.

Compliment her Frequently

There isn’t a woman in the universe who doesn’t love a genuine, heartfelt compliment. Just looking at her with eyes full of admiration is not enough. Women like it when men notice the minutest things about them and pay them a compliment. It could be about her hair, her smile, her eyes or even her wit and intelligence.

Even if you are just talking to a transgender woman on a dating site, pay her few compliments every now and then. This would certainly take things forward and build up interest from her side.

A transgender woman is an emotional creature. She is twice as likely to think about a man who compliments her appearance and mannerisms than the guy who just strikes a straightforward conversation.

When you compliment a woman, it is like giving her a signal that you notice everything about her. And that you admire her. A woman needs affirmation from your side before she starts opening up herself. It might sound clichéd but that is how it generally works. When a lady is confident that a man is genuinely interested in her, that’s when she too starts showing interest.

Be Creative with Your Plans

It is certainly not easy to impress a transgender woman. You have been chatting with her for a while on a trans dating site. It’s going good and now, you’d like to ask her out. Before you do so, have it all figured out as to where can you take her, how will you make your first date special and all that.

A transgender woman is independent and confident. She has faced a lot of challenges in her life and therefore, she admires a smart man who can interest and impress her with his dynamic personality and firebrand soul.

So, you can’t take her out just anywhere. Find out in advance what activities she enjoys and then surprise her with a date that involves all those activities. Incorporate something quirky and eccentric into your date. For example, if she is passionate about books, take her to a stunning library before you take her to other places. Or if she loves outdoors, surprise her with a fun date planned on those lines.

She will certainly more than notice the efforts you have taken in getting to know her hobbies and interests and planning a date for her accordingly. Not everyone would do that for a transgender woman, or for any woman for that matter. Most of the guys would just do the stock cafe/bar /pub outing scenario. Only a guy who is genuinely interested in her would do what you are doing.

Do not get Obsessed with her ‘Trans’ Identity

You are dating a transgender woman perhaps for the first time. Maybe, it’s a new experience for you so it’s natural that you have many questions about her life trajectory, her struggles and all that. But you have to save those questions for a later time or better still, not ask them at all.

You have to treat her the way you would treat a cis woman. Her transgender identity doesn’t make her peculiar in any way. You talk to her like you would with a woman and then if you guys do go out on a date, just get to know her as a person. Get to know her likes and dislikes, her views on life, what she likes doing, what are her hobbies.

Your transgender woman should not feel that it is not a date but an interview. It is extremely rude and disrespectful to bombard her with questions related to her identity and transitioning when you guys are out on a date. These things come much later. Suppose you two really get along well and end up in a relationship, then maybe you can ask her some things. But even then, it is entirely her prerogative to entertain your questions or skip those.

You have to understand that just because you are dating a transgender person, that doesn’t entitle you to treat them like an object of enquiry. You are not a journalist out on an assignment interviewing a transgender woman. You are a man falling in love with her, looking forward to being in a relationship with her. So, treat her with utmost respect and dignity.

Punctuality is Important

The first impression is indeed the last impression. Everything seems to be perfect. You have chosen the right place for your first date. You are looking forward to some great moments. But you are, let’s say 20 minutes late for the date.

Maybe, 20 minutes delay is not a big deal by your personal standards. But your transgender woman is punctual and she came on time. Just imagine a woman waiting for you for 20 minutes on a date. What kind of impression it would create? In all probability, she would never want to see you again.

Punctuality is very important when it comes to impressing a transgender woman, or any woman for that matter.

So, learn the value of punctuality. If you have a date planned, reach the venue even 10 minutes before the scheduled time. Just try and imagine an alternative scenario for your 1st date. When your transgender woman arrives at the café and sees you sitting there with a patient and alluring smile, she will be perhaps thinking, ‘this guy is worth it after all’. She will think so because you arrived before time. For her, it is a signal that she is important to you. Just remember, for women, it is these little things that matter.

A Gentleman Never Goes out of Fashion

Women across all times and epochs and ages respect and admire a gentleman. It is no different for a transgender woman. If you want to win her respect, admiration and eventually love, you have to be a thorough gentleman.

You cannot put up a façade of being a gentleman. It’s something that ingrained in your very being and reflects your basic values and thought system. You have to be nice and courteous to her. That goes without saying. But the gentlemanly code of conduct extends to all fellow human beings. You have to be compassionate to everyone around you.

One sure-shot way of figuring out a person’s true character is by observing how they behave with people who are below them on the social ladder. When you take out your transgender woman to a restaurant on a date, she would keenly observe how you communicate with the waiters and the serving staff. If you are not a gentleman, you will manage to put up a façade in front of her. But when it comes to your behaviour with people who are serving you, it will be outright rude and disrespectful. Your mask will fall off and your true character will be revealed.

On the contrary, if you are polite and courteous with people who are serving you at a restaurant and you go out of your way to help out people and make them feel comfortable, your lady will be impressed.

A transgender woman has a heart of gold. And she wants to see the same kind of compassion reflected in her man’s actions.

Then, there are some basic etiquettes of dating like a gentleman that you need to adhere to. If you are going on a date with her for the first time, you should pay the bills. It will be rude of you to expect her to split the bill on the first date itself, especially if you are the one who asked out.

However, on subsequent dates, the two of you can certainly build an arrangement for splitting the bills that suits you and your partner alike.

And finally, remember the good old chivalrous things. Offer to help her with her bags while the two of you are walking. Open the doors for her, draw out that chair for her. It’s not that she cannot carry her own bags or she needs your Favour constantly. It’s just that as a woman, she feels special and loved if her man constantly shows that he cares so much for her.