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When you discover that you strongly feel that you belong to a different gender than the one assigned to you at the time of your birth, it is a moment of deep thrill and ecstasy. However, it can all be a bit confusing and overwhelming as well. In your heart, you feel quite sure about the new identity that you want to embrace but since society has so vehemently boxed you in a different identity, you feel somewhat nervous and scared. Before a transgender person takes the big step of medical transitioning, there is a lot of physical and mental preparation that they need to undergo.

Even before medical transitioning, a transgender person needs to slowly start coming out and asserting their new gender. If you are transitioning to a trans female, then you have to start putting on women’s clothes and make efforts to learn those little nuances of feminine behaviour and body language. Some transgender people also explore the option of joining a transgender dating site or a trans dating site so that they can look for potential romantic interest.

The most challenging part of course comes after transitioning when you are all ready to come out with your new identity in front of society. Even after medical transitioning, a transgender person is anxious about society judging them. The baggage of their past life is still there. And the general apathy of society towards people of the trans community doesn’t make it any easier.

However, with a bit of preparation and mental strength, you can adjust to your new identity wonderfully and beautifully. You need to chalk out a program for yourself that will help you fully embrace your new identity after transitioning.

You get a Completely new Identity

After medical transitioning, a transgender person gets a completely new identity. As a transsexual person, you get a brand-new identity card with the new name you prefer. The card also includes a new picture of you with your post transitioning features and look. It is perhaps a beautiful feeling to look at your new identity card. When you have to face the world with your new identity, these little badges of affirmation can make your task easier and pleasant. In your heart, you are already proud of being a trans female or a male. But equipped with your new identity card, you will be proud of introducing your new self to the world too.

It’s also good for making people around you understand your new gender in practical terms. The earlier they get to know this, the better it is. This new identity batch also makes you more confident. You no longer feel guilty about your new gender identity or worry about the reactions of people when you tell them so.

Teach Yourself the Fashion and Social Etiquette of your new Gender

If you are a transgender person who has transitioned to a trans woman, it is important to learn all about the basics of feminine dressing. Read fashion magazines on a regular basis, check out what other women on the street are wearing, look for the best stores in your local area to buy female clothing from.

If you have transitioned as a trans male, then you need to learn all that you can about men’s fashion and buy cool, comfortable and chic clothes that suit your body type and accentuate your masculinity.

Post medical transitioning, it’s very important to teach yourself the social etiquette, body language and dressing style of your new gender. You can observe other people around you of the same gender and pay close attention to the details – the way they walk, their body language, everything. You can also join a transgender forum online and interact with others like you who have transitioned. You can also get valuable information from a transgender blog online.

In some places, there are even grooming classes available for transgender people. This is especially true for trans women. There are classes that offer trans women hands-on experience in feminine dressing, body language, makeup, voice training etc.

Participate in Social and Voluntary Activities

After medical transitioning, it is very important to start socializing with people of your new gender. It is true that many individuals still have a somewhat rude and insensitive attitude towards the transgender community. But things are changing fast, there is more awareness now so you will meet many beautiful people out there you can hang out with and perhaps even share your experiences if you wish.

The more you participate in social activities with people of your new gender, the more confident you will become in your new identity. It is a good idea to join an online transgender forum where you can interact with others, talk about your specific experience and listen to some great and inspirational stories about other transgender people overcoming societal discrimination. You can even go through a transgender blog and get to know first-hand how others like you are negotiating the society post transitioning.

One great way of connecting with society is by doing some community work. You can get involved with a social cause and devote a couple of hours every week towards that cause. This is a beautiful way of contributing to society, making a change and also meeting new people. This would also go a long way towards changing societal perception about transgender people. People would no longer stereotype you in a certain way. They would understand that just like everybody, a transgender person has so many different dimensions to their personality. They would start connecting with you as an individual.

One of the biggest challenges that transgender people face after transitioning is difficulty finding work. Many get fired from their jobs and new employers are reluctant to hire them. By involving yourself in your community work, you can contribute towards creating positive awareness about the trans community. And it’s also useful for you in terms of getting full time or part-time employment in the future.

Healthy Eating is Important

Good food and exercise are very important after medical transitioning. You have a great body now that tells the world about your new identity and that you feel proud of. But it is equally important to maintain this body. Regular exercise is a must so that you can strengthen the muscles that you got due to reconstruction and alterations.

It is extremely important to eat healthily. Make sure you eat a balanced diet that has a judicious mix of carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals. Eat plenty of fruits and greens. But make sure you don’t miss out on carbs and fats completely. Good fats are also very important for maintaining muscle tone and the attractiveness and vitality of your skin, hair nails, etc.

Last but not the least; make it a point to drink at least 8 glasses of water every day. Even more, than would be better! Water is very essential for eliminating toxins from your body. It aids digestion, boosts metabolism and helps you attain that glowing complexion.

Consider Dating Someone

This is the next important step after medical transitioning. Everyone needs some romantic love in their life. Now that you are adjusting to your new identity and feeling good about it, you should maybe consider dating someone.

You can join a transgender dating site or using a trans dating app and get connected with all kinds of people from across the world. Joining a trans dating site is a great way to meet new people as well.  When you are trying to adjust to your new life, it is very important to be as social as possible. Interacting with people from diverse backgrounds would contribute immensely towards enhancing your self-esteem and confidence. You would begin to feel more and more comfortable in your new skin.

The whole process of joining a safe transgender dating site and looking for a partner would make you feel even more intensely connected to your new identity. If you are a trans woman, you would start taking even more interest in your dressing up, makeup, doing your hair, etc. There would be butterflies in your stomach each time you think of chatting with that super-hot guy on a trans dating site. If you are a trans guy, you would start taking even greater care of your body and muscles.

Believe it or not, a bit of romance can do wonders for a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. There is something to look forward to every day. People start taking care of themselves better. They smile more; they even start looking more attractive when the love hormones are at work. They become more positive; their energy levels shoot up. As a transgender person, you have the right to take advantage of all those basic sensations of human attraction. It gets you more intimate with your new identity and that’s a beautiful feeling. After all, love and attraction are an important part of your new identity. So, post-transition, you should definitely consider joining one of the free transgender dating websites and start looking for love!

Unfortunately, we still live in a society where trans phobia is more common than rare. Most families would have some kind of prejudice against a transgender person. So, the most important thing is not to freak out when your family tells you that they won’t accept your relationship under any circumstances. Stand your ground firmly but at the same time, do not mess up things with your family either.

This article gives you a couple of tips that would come in useful while dealing with a family that doesn’t accept your transgender partner.

Communicate With Your Family

This is the most important thing. You have to constantly communicate with your family in order to make them understand the importance of you dating that particular person. If you know for sure that your parents are heavily prejudiced against transgender people, don’t tell them everything in one go. Create the right ambience for revealing the truth. Try to build a conversation around general topics like how all individuals are unique and different and how it is important to not judge anyone by their identity tag. Take the conversation a bit further and then try talking about transgender people; explain to them how society has changed and that people can live the life of their choice without being judged.

Once you feel the conversation is getting somewhere, you can make the big announcement. They might be totally shocked and outright dismissive of the relationship.  Take it easy. Do not freak out. Prejudices don’t go away that fast. Give them some time for the reality to sink in. Always keep open the channels of communication.

After the initial task of communicating to them the gender identity of your partner, it’s important to focus more on their personality and attributes. Tell your parents about the great personality traits of your partner. Open up to them about your journey together that how your partner has changed your life for good. Talking about the positive aspects of your relationship is a good way to convince your parents. After a point, the conversation shouldn’t revolve around your partner’s trans identity. It should be simply about them as an individual.

Create Certain Boundaries

You love and respect your family and it should be always like that. But at the same time, you have to make it clear that they cannot disrespect your trans partner. When you meet someone through a transgender dating app and begin to date them, you both have to take a vow of safeguarding each other’s integrity and respect. That is the basic foundation of a good relationship.

So, if any of your family members begin to say rude and disrespectful things about your partner, ask them to stop the conversation right away. Don’t lose your calm. Tell them politely but firmly that you don’t think that’s a nice way to talk about your partner. If they still persist, just walk away saying you would see them perhaps some other time. There is no point in arguing and counterarguing. Just tell them firmly that you can’t continue the conversation if they talk about your partner like that. If they still don’t understand, just leave. This would have a powerful impact and set automatic boundaries.

It is important to find the right balance between your relationship with your parents and your partner. While your partner deserves all your love and respect, your parents too are important. They have their own perspective and even though it’s wrong, you just cannot shout at them or be rude because they are your family. That is where setting boundaries work. If you just lay down certain rules as to what you would and what you wouldn’t tolerate, you can still maintain a normal relationship with your family.

Do Not Compromise on Your Partner’s Self Respect

While it’s important to respect your family, it’s equally important that you take a stand when things get too much. If they have disrespected your partner in person and he/she is hurt, it’s about time you stop taking your partner to meet your family. It’s simply not worth it. While it’s good to keep trying that your family accepts the relationship, your partner cannot be a scapegoat in the sequence of things. If things have reached a critical point, it’s best to take a break. Start maintaining a certain distance. Communicate to them through your cold behaviour that you don’t approve of the way they treat your partner.

A transgender person has literally gone through a lot of hell in life. They need your unconditional love and support. So, if your family is constantly disrespecting them, just don’t get your partner involved in that drama. Keep a separate relationship with your family but keep your partner out of it.

Also, when you are alone with your partner, address any concerns that they have about your family. It is natural that they would be a bit scared and insecure thinking you might leave them because of your family. Comfort your partner and tell him/her that you would always be by their side, no matter what. Remember that family is a touchy subject with transgender people because they might be facing some issues from their own families.

When you’ve taken the plunge to date a transgender person through a trans dating site, it’s equally important that you stand up for their cause.

Accept the Reality

While it may be disheartening to know that your family will probably never accept your trans partner, it’s important to accept the reality. There is hope as long as we live but sometimes, we have to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. Make it clear to your family members that irrespective of whatever they think of the relationship, they have to respect your partner. Give them the message that you would slowly start withdrawing from their world if they are hostile to your partner.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to do that balancing act between your family and partner. You are probably attached to your family a lot. And it can hurt like hell. But you have to be strong and face the truth, no matter what.

It’s also a good time to introspect your level of commitment to your partner. If you are willing to sacrifice your family for someone, you are really in love with them. If your relationship is meaningless and futile and you just miss your family all the time, it’s time to do a reality check.

Seek Counselling or Support

Despite the best of your efforts, things can get really messy. If it reaches that point where your mental health has begun to suffer, look for professional counselling. Having sessions with a professional counsellor would help you locate your priorities better. You would have a better grasp of your own thought process and be able to respond to the situation in a way more controlled manner.

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Communicating your concerns to friends who understand your viewpoint is also a great way to come out of this mess. If your family is really important to you and you can’t live without them either, these friends can become a bridge between you and them. They can try and take up your case.

It’s also important to communicate your concerns to your partner. Tell him/her that you love them from the core of your heart but you are also missing your family. A transgender person has seen so many challenges in life that they understand the importance of a loving and supportive family. Even if your family doesn’t accept them, they wouldn’t mind you being on normal terms with them as long as it doesn’t infringe on your relationship. From your end, you should try your best to keep a working relationship with your family. But you got to make it clear to them that they have to respect your partner.

Just Relax and Unwind

If all the thinking and reflection gets too much for you, just put everything aside and relax. Spend quality time with your partner. Love is no less than therapy. Indulge in activities that make you happy; singing, painting, dancing, running, whatever it is. Bond with your partner over fun activities.

Never underestimate the power of a good laugh! Laughter is the best medicine for all our woes. It heals us and fixes wounds automatically. So, exercise your sense of humour and have a good laugh with your partner and friends!

As far as your family goes, just keep up the hope that they will eventually come around. Transsexual dating is not easy. It is expected that one faces many challenges. But stay optimistic and upbeat. That can solve a lot of problems.