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There is no cookie-cutter path to become a confident MTF Trans Woman. You will at times find yourself stumbling in your quest to embrace your femininity. When you stumble, find yourself envious, or compare yourself to other cis-woman, know that you are not alone. Many MTF Trans Women fall into the pit of comparing themselves with cis-women.

It is often said that comparison is the death of joy. In fact, it is one of the surest ways to lower your self-esteem. But how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Below are some valuable tips that will offer you an answer.

Realize that Comparing Yourself is Destructive

While comparing yourself to others is fairly normal behaviour, it can be self-destructive in many situations. This is because each person is their own worst critic, meaning when we compare ourselves to others, we tend to judge ourselves more harshly. The first step to stopping this behaviour is by consciously realizing that it is destructive. You may always find cis-women to be pretty, but their beauty has nothing to do with yours. You are beautiful in your own way separate from them.

Focus on Yourself

For you to make positive strides on your journey to embrace your femininity, you should compare yourself only to yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror, smile more vibrantly than you did yesterday. Think about what you have achieved and all your potential for the future. When you compare yourself to yourself instead of other cis-women, you will be more appreciative of your uniqueness. Additionally, this process helps you feel good about yourself without necessarily having to think less of others.

Be Kind and Polite

The way you treat others often reflects the way you feel about yourself. As a result, showing compassion for yourself allows you to be more compassionate towards others and vice versa. If you tend to criticize other people, you will likely be more critical of yourself. However, if you are kind to others, you will almost certainly be kind to yourself.

Focus on the Positives

Every person has flaws. A guaranteed way to magnify your flaws out of proportion is by comparing yourself with other people. People tend to present the best of themselves to the outside world both in person and on social media. You are likely comparing your flaws with the best the other person has to offer; it is not a fair comparison. Instead of comparing yourself with other people, try to focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your life. Make it a habit to think positively about yourself and others.

To many people, the idea of gender transitioning might seem like a bizarre one. Most people equate gender with the biological gender that is assigned to them at the time of birth. And they pretty much think this is the norm. But there are people who do not identify with the gender assigned to them at birth. While growing up, they might begin to experience Gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is basically a term for the feeling of acute distress caused in people when they do not identify with their birth gender. Such people are generally referred to as transgender or transsexual.

Although both the terms are often used interchangeably, there is a slight difference between the two. The term transsexual specifically refers to a person who undergoes a medical procedure to get reassigned to a different gender. That is, they undergo medical transitioning and get a new identity altogether including a new name, an i-card with their new photo, all that. So, for example, there is a person who was assigned female gender at the time of birth but they identify themselves as male. If such a person decides to undergo medical transitioning to be reassigned male gender, that person is transsexual. Transgender, on the other hand, is more of an umbrella term that includes all folks who do not quite identity with the gender assigned to them at birth time. A transgender person might also be gender fluid that is they might have a strong urge to switch from one gender to another whenever they wish. And not all transgender people who strongly identify with the other gender choose to have surgery.

There are so many stigmas attached to the transgender community in society because people see it as an aberration. And they view it as something abnormal because they don’t understand it. History tells us that something which is not understood by society is ridiculed and even censored. It is the same case with the identity of transgender people. But things are changing now. There is a lot more awareness around trans issues. So many transsexual dating sites and transgender dating websites have come up. There are specific websites for trans girl dating as well. There are online transgender forums where trans folks can interact with others like them. Societal apathy is still there but trans people have somewhat begun to get the kind of recognition and respect they deserve.

With so many free transgender dating sites, the mainstream community is certainly getting more open to the idea of accepting trans people. Unfortunately, there is a lot of violence and abuse still but things are changing.

Understanding the need for gender transitioning is very important in order to take this dialogue about trans people forward in a positive way.

There are certain aspects that need to be understood when it comes to understanding the acute need for gender transitioning in trans people.

Need for Gender Transitioning can be felt Anytime

There is no hard and fast rule for when to come out as a transgender. This totally depends on the person concerned and their particular experiences. Some people come out in their teenage years only and undergo medical transitioning quite early. There are others who might even be married and trying to lead a mainstream life. They still quite haven’t figured out the source of their distress and discomfort. And such people tend to come out as transgender quite late in life. And that is fine too.

It also depends on the family’s support to a great extent. People who are bought up in conservative families find it difficult to accept the fact that they are transgender to themselves only, leave alone the family. That is why they stay in a situation of conflict for a long time, trying to hide their real emotions and identity. It is only when it gets too much for them to handle that they come out in the open.

There are other practical considerations as well. If the family is not supportive, it is difficult to undergo medical transitioning. It is expensive and the person just might not be financially independent enough to take this decision himself.

The Person Transitioning Might or Might not Choose to Undergo Medical Procedure

This is a very important point to remember. Not all transgender people undergo medical transitioning. Some undertake Hormone Replacement Therapy and Testosterone. But they skip the top and bottom surgery altogether. There are others who skip medical procedure altogether and start coming out as their desired gender simply through dressing up and behaviour.

However, most people who come out as transgender eventually undertake some kind of medical treatment. Medical transitioning makes it easier for them to live as their desired gender in mainstream society. It is especially useful for transgender folks who are into dating heterosexual people of the opposite sex through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site.

Transitioning is aimed at making the transgender person’s life happy and fulfilling. Many transgender people want to get their gender officially changed in their id card and official documents. This is very helpful from the point of view of living a wholesome life after assuming their new gender identity. Having your gender identity officially affirmed in your documents also saves one from potential harassment at school, workplace, etc.

Transgender People Have an Awareness of their Gender Identity from an Early Age

Well, they might not come out in the open for various reasons. Or they might just be confused about what they are feeling. Since society doesn’t quite encourage what they are feeling, it’s just perhaps difficult for them to figure out what’s going on in their head. But generally speaking, transgender people start questioning their perceived biological gender identity from a very early age.

There might be very subtle signs of their identification with the other gender when they are children. And parents might or might not notice these signs. For example, someone who is born a female biologically might be more inclined towards boy’s clothing. They might just start crying for no reason when they are decked up in girly clothes. They might just hate their long hair. All these are very subtle signs of not identifying with one’s biological gender. As a person grows up, these signs become more pronounced and a person is able to better articulate their thoughts and feelings.

But it’s not a transgender person who gets a dream all of a sudden that they want to have a different gender identity. Perceiving it like that would reflect a rather shallow and myopic understanding of trans people. In a transgender person, there are often manifestations of discomfiture with one’s biological gender identity right from childhood. If you go through a transgender blog or conversations on a transgender forum, you would well understand that. There are many stories of trans people accessible online in which they are talking about their childhood experiences.

Transitioning can help with Dating and Relationships

Medical transitioning can literally be a blessing for the romantic life of a MTF Transgender woman or a FTM Transgender guy, especially if they are into dating people of the opposite sex. It can be an immense help for those transgender people who are looking at heterosexual relationships post transitioning through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site. Medical transitioning with the right grooming and makeup can make such a huge difference to the person’s appearance that many MTF transgender women can conveniently pass as cis women post transitioning.

In fact, these days there are many trans dating sites or transsexual dating sites where one can check out the profiles of various transgender men and women and date them. Through such sites, romantic liaisons and even serious relationships have blossomed between trans people and cis people. Medical transitioning can really help a transgender person in terms of looking for a partner. When their body image strongly conforms to their new gender identity, their level of confidence increases by multiple times. And they can be more proactive and forthcoming in the act of seeking a romantic partner.

Uncomfortable Questions about Transitioning are to be Avoided

Now, this is more for people who would like to date a transgender man or a woman. You got to realize that you are dating a person so you have to treat them like one. If you have met them through a trans dating site or a trans dating app, do not ask them uncomfortable questions about their gender identity or why they felt the need for transitioning. It is not an interview. It is a date. You are looking for a romantic partner so just get to know them as a person – their hobbies, interests and all that.

Remember transitioning is a personal choice for everyone. If you have decided to date a transgender person, you have to be prepared to respect the boundaries as well. Slowly as the relationship will develop and they feel close to you, they might share things with you on their own. Or they might not. That’s totally up to them. Gender transitioning is a very personal topic for each individual and even as a romantic partner; you cannot be too intrusive into this aspect of their life.

A FTM transgender guy is someone who is transitioning from female to male. People who are assigned female gender at birth but they strongly identity with the opposite gender are FTM transgender. They usually choose to undergo medical transition at some point in time. But there is no clear cute norm with regard to that. There are some who skip medical transitioning altogether.

Irrespective of whether they have undergone medical transitioning or not, it is very important for a FTM transgender guy that society perceives him as a man. If that does not happen, it can aggravate the feelings of gender dysphoria that already exist in him. And this is not good for his mental health. It is also important from a romantic point of view since sexuality is deeply connected to a person’s gender identity. So, if he wants to join a trans dating site or a FTM dating service, it is important that he is confident of his manly image.

For guys who choose to undergo the Hormone Replacement Therapy, it is relatively easier to pass off as a man. They usually get bi-weekly injections from the doctor. Besides, there are numerous other ways of getting injected with hormones; it can be through gels, patches and many other ways. Some FTM trans guys will also get testosterone treatment which will work on their faces in a way that gives them a more masculine appearance. It would also make their voices somewhat heavy and manly.

Then, there are some who would choose to go even a step further and undergo chest reconstruction surgery. This surgery specifically flattens out the chest area to give the chest a masculine appearance. Then, there is the bottom surgery performed in order to remove the vagina and create a penis for the transgender man.

However, there are some who choose not to have these treatments for certain reasons. And for such trans men, passing as a man in public might be a bit more challenging. Then most FTM trans guys start coming out even before medical transitioning. This is important because you can’t just wait for the treatment to show effects and then come out. You got to tell society that you are a guy even before.

The whole process of coming out as a man publicly can be quite intimidating for a FTM transgender guys. But with certain tips, you can conveniently pass as the guy that you already are.

Use a Binder

The biggest source of gender dysphoria in FTM transgender guys is the chest area unless they have had the top surgery, of course. So as a trans man, if you haven’t had the top surgery yet and want to flatten out your chest area, the best option for you is to buy a medical binder.

Medical chest binders are easily available online and come in many different styles. There are also plenty of commercial chest binders available in the market these days. It is important to buy the right size though. If you bind your chest using a binder that is a bit too small, it might create difficulties in breathing and you will end up having pain in your shoulders and back.

Trans men who don’t quite want to go for a medical binder can also bind their chest using a sports bra. In fact, using a sports bra is quite a safe way to bond your chest with minimal risk of side effects or injuries. Some FTM trans guys would also use layering to bind their chest using a shirt or bra layering.

However, according to experts, you should not wear binders for longer than 8-12 hours. Also, you should avoid sleeping while wearing your binder. It is also important to have a day off in between once in a while. You have to make sure that you aren’t binding everyday in order to avoid any side effects.

Following these tips, you can happily use a binder to flatten out your chest area. And this will certainly increase your confidence and make people notice you as a man when you are out there in public.

Make use of the Packing Technique

Now, packing is a technique that trans guys make use of to give the illusion of a penis. It basically involves putting something in your pants to mimic the appearance of the bulge created by male genitalia.

Packing is a great way to enhance the self-confidence of a FTM transgender guy who hasn’t had the bottom surgery as yet and increases his chances of passing as a man. After all, sexuality is a very important part of your new gender identity. So, it is natural that you want to simulate the whole experience of having male genitalia.

These days there are so many commercial packers available online. These packers come in different materials and varieties including silicone. And the best thing is they are more or fewer replicas of male genitalia. However, for a trans guy who is new to the whole experience of packing, it is best to try a simple technique first. He can just use a rolled-up sock and place it properly at the right spot inside his pants. It’s way cheaper than using a commercial packer and he can try it out and decide for himself if he likes the whole experience or not.

Learn to Project a Masculine Appearance

This is the key to passing as a male in society. With pro masculine body language, your chances of passing as a man increase dramatically.

The first step of building this masculine image of yours as a FTM trans man is to get used to wearing a man’s clothes. When it comes to clothing, everyone has a different approach that suits them. Some trans guys like to go with oversized clothing to get that super manly look. If you perhaps wear a shirt size larger than usual, your shoulders might look bigger and slightly bulkier. But there is no rule really. Well, fitted clothes can also give the impression of a chiseled, toned masculine body.

The important thing is to find men’s clothes that go with your personality and eventually develop your own style. Once you start getting used to male clothing, behaving as a man will also start coming naturally to you. You can also check out profiles of trans guys on transgender dating websites and see what they are wearing.

Now again, there is no manual really that can teach you how to behave like a man. You just have to closely observe men in public places – the way they walk, the way they sit, how they move their head while talking, the tone of their voice while they are speaking. You can also interact with other trans men through a transgender forum and take their advice.

To begin with, one thing that a FTM transgender guy can focus on is sitting. Generally speaking, men tend to literally spread their legs wide apart while sitting. They sit in a very authoritarian position taking up a lot of space with legs as wide as possible. So, this is something that you can begin practicing as a trans man. It is easy to remember and also simple to practice.

Do not feel compelled to fit into a Box

As a FTM transgender guy, the way you want to protect yourself is totally your call. It depends on your personality and orientation. Many trans men have fluid general identities, that is they are Pansexual. Now Pan Sexuality can be defined as a sexual or romantic attraction towards anybody irrespective of their gender identity.  So, if you classify yourself as a pansexual trans guy, then you lay down your own rules. You don’t necessarily need to then get into the entire masculine discourse of heterosexuality.

A FTM trans guy can also prefer to date gay men. Or he may prefer to go the cis guy way, dating heterosexual women through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app. So, one has to understand that even as a FTM transgender guy, one can have fluid gender identities and that’s totally cool. The way a trans man wants to project himself is totally his call. He might just want to meet single women through FTM trans dating site or a transgender dating app or he might just want to date gay men.

Get Inspired from the Lives of Well-Known Trans Men

There are so many trans men icons who have fought societal prejudices and stereotypes to emerge a winner and live a successful and fulfilling life. If you want happiness, you have to go through the grind and find it out. You just can’t run away from problems and struggles. A FTM transgender man can take inspiration from the lives of famous and successful trans men. This will do wonders to his own image as a trans man and show him the way forward. You can go through a transgender blog to gain insight into the lives of famous trans men.

So many movies have been made about the lives of trans men. There are also movies starring trans men. Most of these movies depict the problems faced by transgender youth. These offer a realistic peep into the world of trans men.

There was the iconic movie ‘Becoming Chaz’ that was released in 2011. This movie was based on the life of Chaz Bono, the son of Cher, who has also penned down a book on his multiple experiences as a transgender man.

Then there is the 1999 movie ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ based on the life story of Brandon Teena, a young trans man who was murdered in 1993.  And it’s so important to mention the contribution made by the legendary Buck Angle in the field of trans awareness. He is a filmmaker, speaker and advocate. He also stars in a documentary made about his own life.

Then there are other famous movies incorporating trans issues such as Just (2002), Call me Kade, Boy I Am (2006) and About Ray (2015).

As a trans man, it is very important to know all about various issues faced by transgender folks and how so many trans heroes have fought out these issues. As a FTM trans guy, you can also join an online transgender forum and communicate with other trans men.

All this will increase your awareness of trans issues and strengthen your identity as a trans man. Knowing that there are so many like you who have fought societal prejudices and emerged a winner, you will no longer be afraid to live out your identity.

Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.

What exactly is confidence?

Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:

 – Self-efficacy:

Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

 – Self-confidence:

Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.

 – Self-esteem:

While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.

Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.

Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?

Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.

As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.

So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.

Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again. 

Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.

While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.

Be a Friend to Yourself

Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.

When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.

Remember and Celebrate Your Successes

Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.

These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.

Remove Things That Bring You Down

Out of sight, out of mind –  this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.

Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.

Smile At Yourself In The Mirror

Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.

Improve Your Posture

Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.

Do Not Compare Yourself To Others

Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.

Take Risks

There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.

In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!

Be Persistent

At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.

On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.

Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.

If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to. 

Hormone Replacement Therapy:

In a quest to live happier lives, and make their bodies more congruent with their gender identity; some transgender people undergo specific medical treatments. There is an overwhelming consensus in the medical community that transition-related care is medically necessary for any Trans individual. While this care is considered life-saving and even critical for many trans people, not everyone needs medical care to live their desired life. There are various medical treatments do trans people available based on individual needs, and in this blog post, we will be exploring hormone therapy.

Hormone Therapy

Masculinizing Treatments

In general, surgery is required to obtain satisfactory physical characteristics in most trans people. Upon cessation of hormonal treatment, those traits reverse unless chemical or surgical castration has occurred. However, in trans men, some hormonally-induced changes may become virtually irreversible within weeks. Trans women, on the other hand, usually have to take hormones for many months before they can see any irreversible change.

Conclusion