Dating can be a tricky business. It’s like taking a chance with somebody and then trying and figuring out if the two of you share a common language. It’s like going for a long boat ride with a complete stranger and then gradually fathom that stranger. Romance, passion, understanding; you will have a lot of such expectations from that stranger. But it takes a while to figure out how it will turn out. However, if you are enamoured by a FTM transgender guy and can’t wait to date him, things can be even more challenging.
While dating a FTM trans guy, you can’t just take anything for granted. And if you have only dated cis guys before, this is definitely new terrain for you. You are nervous, excited, everything. However, if you follow a couple of tips while dating a FTM transgender guy, you are going to be alright. If you are lucky, then maybe not just alright but you are totally going to rock in your new founded quest for love!
FTM Trans Guys are Unique and Different
Now just because you are dating a FTM transgender guy, that does not mean you can assume that all transgender guys are carbon copies of each other. You cannot just read stuff about FTM trans guys from the internet and then uncritically apply it to your man.
It’s not that straightforward. Just like all other guys, they come from different backgrounds. Their race, religion, culture, etc. is bound to influence their personalities and behavioural patterns, pretty much as it happens in the case of everyone else.
So, you have to treat your trans guy as a unique person with a distinct individuality and try and figure him out naturally and organically. However, it is also important to realize that all FTM trans guys have different transitioning periods. His transitioning period has a massive impact on his behaviour and moods. You have to keep that in mind while dating a trans guy.
Having said that, you have to walk that tightrope between understanding his nuances and yet, treating him like a regular guy. You have to understand that your trans guy’s sexual, romantic, social and emotional needs are going to be the same as anyone else. The need for optimal emotional and sexual fulfilment in a relationship, the craving for romance, all these expectations are natural in any relationship. But at the same time, you need to consider that his needs might be different from the cis guys you have dated before.
Be Prepared to Face Labels and Stereotypes About Your Relationship
Now, this can be a bit tricky to handle. But with a bit of maturity and understanding, you can get past this phase. Since you are dating a FTM trans guy, it is quite possible that others will judge your relationship. They might label you as ‘gay’. That’s just the ‘not so favourable’ baggage that comes with dating a trans guy and you have to learn to handle it.
It is natural that you might get terribly angry at people labelling your sexuality just because of your partner’s identity. It will seem cruel and insensitive. But you have to learn to live with it. You cannot change societal perceptions overnight. But with a bit of tolerance, you can totally prevent it from affecting you or your relationship.
You just have to remember that any relationship is an intimate and beautiful bond between the people concerned. As long as you and your trans guy are discovering love, passion and emotional intensity in your relationship, you shouldn’t be bothered by anyone else’s opinion on it.
You Have to be Prepared to Support Your Trans Guy
This can be the most challenging and yet the most beautiful part of your relationship. And it is no different from any other relationship. Everyone has certain issues, some vulnerabilities that need to be addressed. We all are incomplete in ourselves which is precisely why we need a relationship. There are times when we need to constantly hear,’ hey you are wonderful. You are the best.
It is pretty much the same with your FTM trans guy. Transitioning is a challenging business. It takes up a lot of his mental and emotional energy. So, it is natural that it can create abrupt mood swings and emotional issues that only a loving partner can address.
Coming out in the open as a transgender guy can be daunting. There are times when the families of trans guys are outrightly hostile towards them. That is why it is so important for you to support your transgender man.
Make Him Feel Great About His Masculinity
Being a FTM trans guy comes with a lot of in-built expectations. And sometimes, these expectations can take a toll on your trans man’s mental and emotional health. That is why it is so important for you to make him feel great about his body, his sexuality and his masculinity.
The masculine feel is very important for a FTM trans guy. Even after transitioning, he faces the constant pressure to appear masculine and macho in a certain way. Therefore, as a partner, you need to constantly compliment him on his masculine appearance, his clothes, maybe that tough macho look in his eyes, his specific body odour that makes you go haywire.
If his quest for the ultimate manliness is supported and adored by his partner, nothing else can make him happier on earth.
Communicate and Find out What Turns Him On
Communication is paramount to any relationship. And especially when you are dating a transgender guy, it becomes even more important. You cannot just presume things that he will enjoy this or that. Make sure you have a candid conversation about what turns him on, what are his sexual needs.
He might have a certain grey area you should probably avoid while getting intimate with him. But there is no way you are going to figure that out unless you ask. For example, some FTM transgender guys might not enjoy certain sexual contact that is normative for female-bodied folk. You have to understand that transitioning is a tough battle physically and mentally. So, he might even be uncomfortable and nervous about certain aspects of the female anatomy. Again, there is no magic wand that is going to make you realize all of this. The only key is one on one, candid communication with your transgender guy.
And it is ultimately the same as any other relationship. Every partner has some preferences, some things they like while getting intimate, certain things they don’t like. Intimacy cannot be built by racing along a dark alley! You have to take it forward slowly and gently, figuring out your partner’s needs and likes along the way. And all that is going to make intimacy even more beautiful and worthwhile.
Do Not Obsess Over His Trans Identity
This is the most important tip to remember while dating a FTM transgender guy. You know that your partner is transgender and accordingly, there are certain things that you will keep in mind. All that is great. But at the end of the day, you have to treat him the way you would any other cis guy. No one likes being made acutely conscious of their identity again and again. That is rude and disrespectful. So, you have to take your relationship forward in a natural and organic manner. When you are out with him when the two of you are talking or having a great time together, reminding him of his ‘trans’ identity all the time is just not cool. And it’s even irritating for him.
You have to figure out your trans guy’s unique needs very subtly and gently. But that does not mean that the sole defining point of the relationship is that he is ‘trans’. You have to take it forward like any other romantic relationship. Candlelight dinners, evenings in the pub, walk on the moonlit beach, a quiet movie date at his place or your place, all the usual stuff that relationships are made of.
Do not Ask Him Uncomfortable Questions About His Past Life
Transitioning is not easy, as it is. It is like discarding an old life and embracing a new one that you have always wanted. When your trans guy is focusing all his physical and mental energies on being the complete man, the last thing he wants is uncomfortable personal questions that take him back to his past life.
Honesty is certainly a key to any good relationship. But there are certain boundaries. And you cannot breach those boundaries unless and until the other person is willing. Maybe, at some point in time, he will himself open up about his past life. He might himself make you a confidante in his life history. But that is for him to decide. Just because you are dating him, you cannot keep on asking your trans guy uncomfortable questions about his past life.
Just let him be. If he has to share something with you, he will by himself. Take things forward slowly and gently.
The popularity of a transgender dating site has risen dramatically over the past couple of years. A lot of these dating sites are open to both trans and cis folks. Joining a trans dating site is an excellent way to look for your soul mate. You can end up meeting someone with who you want to be in a serious relationship or simply meet a diverse set of interesting people from all over the world.
As a cisgender person, joining a trans dating site is going to open up your mind to different kinds of worldviews. You will get out of your narrow comfort zone and learn to appreciate beauty and diversity in a more wholesome sort of way.
A transgender dating site is a perfect place for finding your soul mate. Especially if you are an introvert and would be terribly shy of approaching anyone in person randomly at a café or a bar, then a trans dating site is just the right thing for you. You can talk to many people without having to worry about the embarrassment of having to talk face to face. Of course, you are going to speak face to face and have a proper date if you do meet an interesting trans woman or man out there. But when you are in the initial phase of just connecting with people, you can do so while keeping your privacy and reserve intact.
A transgender dating site is many things together. And there are numerous benefits of joining one. This article is going to list a few of them:
You Have a Better Chance of Meeting Like-Minded People
When you are trying to meet your potential love interest offline, your options are limited. The maximum you would do is meet someone interesting at a café or a bar, a friend’s party or a public event in your city. You can of course meet people randomly and end up talking to them but the chances of that happening are totally dependent on fate!
But if you join a transgender dating site, you can view profiles of interesting people from all over the world at the click of a mouse. When you have the chances of communicating with such a diverse set of people, then the chances of meeting someone like-minded increase manifold. Your options are not so limited by fate or chance.
You Have the Advantage of Multitasking
Now, this is a fairly practical advantage of joining a trans dating site. On a dating site, you can zero down on a number of profiles that interest you and talk to many people simultaneously.
This kind of multitasking is not quite possible when you are looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend offline. There are practical limitations of time and space online and there is no technology at your disposal so you can just talk to one person at a time.
If you have a busy schedule, dating can seem to be very time-consuming. You are so busy with your work that you’d rather postpone dating than having to find a partner offline! A trans dating site with its advantage of multi-tasking is just the right thing for you.
No Fear of Judgment
When a man tries to talk to a random woman he feels attracted to at a party or a public event, that woman might just totally ignore him or think of him as a stalker. This can be a huge put off for any man looking for a potential love interest offline.
Unless he takes the chance of interacting with unknown women, how does he look for his soul mate? One can of course meet people through friends but then that again is a very limited set of people. When you are looking for a love interest, you really need to be able to communicate with a lot of people. It is after a lot of hits and trial that you can be with someone you feel connected to.
On a trans dating site, there is no fear of that kind of judgment. The whole purpose of a dating site is well, dating! So, you can talk to as many people as you like without the fear of being labelled creepy. Everyone out there has a common goal. They are looking for someone to date. And so, everyone is willing to take chances and connect with many people. That is again a drawback in real life. When you are trying to talk to somebody, how do you get to know if they are even looking for love or not? I mean, of course, you can ask them but you can’t do that straight away right. Maybe, a person just has a friendly attitude overall and you mistake it for flirting.
On a transgender site, there is no space for that kind of confusion. Everyone is out there for dating. If you are chatting with someone and you think it’s going somewhere, you can pretty much ask them straightforward questions to avoid confusion or disappointment later on.
You Meet a Person Only When You are Ready
This is a big advantage of dating through a trans dating site. There is no time limit. You can communicate with a person for a fairly long period of town without facing any pressure of having to meet them.
On a transgender dating site, you can build up your rapport with a person slowly and organically. Get to know their interests, hobbies, and their worldview. Talk to them regularly over a period of time. And if and when the two of you feel it’s the right time, you guys go out on a date in real life. There is no pressure to do so quickly. In real life, it’s the opposite. You spot someone at a café or a bar or a friend’s party, get insanely attracted to them and ask for their phone number. If you are lucky and you do get that number, you end up going on dates after casual texting.
This is so not the right approach for a serious relationship. This sort of thing can lead to flings but not necessarily a relationship. It’s like you two have started seeing each other before you even figure out what the two of you have in common. And if you guys don’t really have anything in common, then the thing just collapses and you both realize it was a waste of time.
A trans dating site follows the good old school model of dating in a way. It gives you the chance to figure out a person and evaluate them before the two of you meet in real life.
A Trans Dating Site is Great for All Personality Types
The so-called real world is full of judgmental people. If you are a transgender person, it gets almost impossible to look for a partner offline. There is fear of social judgment, discrimination and even violence at times. That’s precisely why a trans dating site is a safe place for transsexual people to look for their soul mate without the fear of societal disapproval.
A trans dating site is not just for transgender people though. It is open to all sorts of people – cis folk, bisexuals, people who are ambivalent about their gender identity, etc. It is a diverse and liberating universe in the true sense of the world. A trans dating site gives all personality types a chance to look for love.
A Trans Dating Site Protects Your Privacy
Sometimes, a transgender person can be vulnerable to abuse even online. In such a scenario, a foolproof mechanism for protecting one’s identity becomes very important. When you register on a trans dating site, you can choose to give out only that much information about yourself as you desire.
You can of course upload photos and videos of yourself to attract a potential love interest. But you can also limit the pictures and other details that are visible online.
A trans dating site gives you a lot of autonomy in terms of controlling what personal information you share and with whom you share it. In conventional dating, it’s difficult to control that kind of thing. You meet someone in real life, get carried away and that makes you more vulnerable to potential harm. It’s possible that you got so carried away that you gave your phone number and even address to the other person right away.
A trans dating site can save you from that kind of scenario. Here, things are totally under your control. You are not meeting someone in real life, to begin with. You are checking out thousands of profiles that are registered on the site. And from there, you choose a few profiles and start chatting. But you are chatting with them online, not meeting face to face. So, there is little chance of getting carried away.
On a trans dating site, you can be a little bit objective about the whole dating thing, especially in the initial phase. You can protect your personal information and this saves you from any potential harm or trouble.
A long-distance relationship is not for everyone. It is for those who truly believe in love and are willing to walk that extra mile for it. They are willing to even undergo physical separation from their lover for the sake of love. Relationship with a transsexual is not everyone’s cup of tea either. When you have committed yourself to dating a transsexual person, you have already signaled to the world that you are a unique person whose choices are not dictated by societal dogmas and stereotypes.
Your transsexual partner is anyways tough enough to endure a long-distance relationship. They have already won the challenging battle of coming out in the open with their identity. And transitioning is an extremely difficult phase. So, if they have come out of all that victoriously, they won’t really let distance become an issue if they are in love with someone.
You have also battled societal stigma, disapproval and outright condemnation while making the decision to date a transsexual person. So, you are a tough cookie as well. However, this does not mean that keeping a long-distance relationship is an easy deal. On the contrary, it is extremely challenging to be in a long-distance relationship with someone and keep the love alive.
Regular communication is very important for a long-distance relationship. And so are a couple of other things. This article is going to list a couple of tips that can help you keep up such a relationship. If you and your transsexual partner follow these tips, then even distance cannot be an impediment in your journey of togetherness and love!
Trust
Trust is the foundation of a long-distance relationship. Well, it is important for any relationship. But in a long-distance relationship, its importance is doubly elevated. You guys don’t stay in the same town physically. So, you have no way of really finding out what the other is doing most of the time, where are they going, who are they meeting. And you probably also have a work-life, deadlines to meet, household chores to fix. So, you cannot just leave everything aside and constantly spy on your partner through phone or social media! That would also be mentally unhealthy for you and toxic for your relationship.
Therefore, the only thing that works is trust. You have to realize that you two are together for a reason and distance is only a temporary impediment. Trust is of course not built overnight. It requires regular communication. Even though your relationship is long-distance, you have to make your partner a priority. Make sure that the two of you talk to each other almost every day even if it’s for a short while.
Just a virtual hug or kiss from your partner before you are going to sleep can go a long way towards building trust. If any of you are super busy and cannot communicate for a while due to some reasons, just tell that your partner. Communication keeps everything sorted. And lack of it creates mistrust.
If there is something about your partner’s behaviour that is bothering you and if despite all the trust, you have started doubting something, just ask them candidly. A good, honest conversation is like a stress buster and trust builder in any long-distance relationship.
Make Time for Each Other
You both are super busy. And you both have your own life, your own circle of friends wherever you live. But you have to understand that being in a relationship; you have to be each other’s priority.
So, it is very important that you create time for each other on a daily basis. Most of us spend a lot of time on social media even while we are working. So, it’s super easy to slip in flirtatious text messages to your transsexual partner once in a while even during work hours.
Get creative with your communication mode. Send each other pictures and videos from your everyday life. If you are in a restaurant having a great time with your friends, maybe you can just shoot a small video using her phone, tell your partner where you are and you are having a good time but are missing them. These small gestures go a long way towards keeping the fire in your relationship going.
Do not do everything by a plan. That can get monotonous and boring. Be unpredictable every once in a while. Send her a text or a WhatsApp message out of the blue telling her what you ate for lunch today. The idea is to be a part of each other’s immediate universe even though you are not living in the same town physically. It is certainly challenging but if you make time for each other and think of innovative and fun ways of communicating, you can do it.
You Have to Keep the Love Alive
Now, this is the point where a lot of long-distance relationships falter. Lack of physical intimacy due to the distance factor can ruin even the best of relationships. Sexual love is a basic need for everyone and if they can’t get it from their partner, they start looking elsewhere.
So, it is important that you and your transsexual partner find ways and means to keep the fire of love and passion burning despite the distance. You can consider having phone sex. Tease each other with sexy photos and messages. Phone sex can get very close and intimate if you are into it. The two of you can constantly moan and breathe erotically while you are building up the erotic crescendo over the phone. If you can actually imagine yourself getting physical with your partner while the two of you throw in graphic details of what you are doing to each other, phone sex can get very real.
Now, love surely doesn’t mean only physical love. Emotional love is very important too. In fact, in any relationship, after a point in time, emotional love is the real thing and physical love becomes an expression of your emotional intimacy with your partner.
So, it is important to keep the romance alive. Maybe, have a candlelight dinner date through a live zoom conversation! Create that mood in your apartment with beautiful lights, candles, wine and all that. Ask your partner to create a similar setting where they live. And then the two of you can have a live date. You can even try out a similar kind of live dating session from a restaurant or a café.
It’s also good to get old fashioned once in a while. That is, you can surprise your transsexual partner by sending chocolates, roses, greeting cards, flirty lingerie or whatever gifts they like once in a while.
Last but not the least, a simple ‘I Love You’ in the morning after you get up and, in the night, before you go to sleep would make your transsexual partner feel your love like you are sleeping just next to them.
Make Plans to Meet Each Other Once in a While Despite the Distance
A long-distance relationship doesn’t mean that you are constantly making love only on phone! You have to make some sort of a commitment to actually seeing each other in person even if it’s for a couple of days in 2-3 months.
And you have to make sure that when the two of you do meet each other, that time is literally reserved for your relationship. When your transsexual partner is visiting you, make the most of that visit. Even if it means going a bit out of your way and postponing all appointments, just do it. Nothing is more important in life more than a loving partner.
A couple of days of togetherness can be like a lifetime for people who are in a long-distance relationship. So, you and your transsexual partner have to make each other a priority and try and make travel plans to one another’s city if and when possible.
Discuss the Future of Your Relationship
Now, this is very important. In a long-distance relationship, you go to figure out where exactly it is going after a point in time. That is, the two of you should have a concrete roadmap for getting together at some point in time. The distance is ok at the moment but there has to be some mutual vision of the distance ending sometime in future.
Have candid discussions with your transsexual partner on a regular basis. No one wants to be enduring distance infinitely. There has to be some light at the end of the tunnel. So, the two of you have to have a concrete plan as to when and how the two of you can be together in one place. And you have to constantly discuss the progress you are making on that plan.
After all, it is for the sake of love that the two of you are putting up with a long-distance relationship. And that love has to materialize in you being physically together at some point in time.
Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship. Mutual trust can make a relationship beautiful and meaningful over time but the lack of it can make any romantic association go down the winding path. A trans woman is a special creature in the sense that her trust has been betrayed multiple times. A cis woman might have had it rough as well in relationships. But for a trans woman, it’s a different ball game altogether. Her life story is full of mental and psychological cuts and bruises. It’s not just her ex-lovers though who have broken her trust or hurt her badly. She has to face the hatred and censure of the entire society because of her identity. Her friends, neighbours, family, all have hurt her sensibilities at a certain point in time.
So, if you have just started dating her through a trans girl dating site or a transsexual dating site, you got to realize that a slow and steady path is just the right approach. Someone who wants to win the love and trust of a trans woman has to gently heal all her past wounds. And then she would slowly but surreptitiously transform into a magical, fairy-like creature, her eyes shining with love for her partner. Trans woman dating is certainly not easy but it’s a wonderful experience. She is a super-strong creature. And that’s a part of her appeal. She has been hurt and wronged so many times and yet, she hasn’t lost her faith in the possibility of love. She is scared, traumatized and a bit unsure maybe, but she still looks for love everywhere. And once you build that level of trust with her, she would reciprocate your love with the utmost sincerity and devotion.
You seemed to have met the woman of your life through a transgender dating site and now you just want to take things forward. This article lists out a couple of points that would help you understand how to go about establishing trust in trans woman dating and relationships.
Be Committed to Your Trans Woman
Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go out of your way to prove something. It just means that one has to treat their partner with utmost dignity and respect. It doesn’t have to be larger than life gestures. On the contrary, it is the little things that matter most. When you plan out a date with your trans woman, make it a point to be always punctual or even before time. Do discuss the future of your relationship with her every now and then. Tell her about your plans for the future. This will instill a level of trust and confidence in her that you see the relationship as something serious and long term.
Show genuine interest in her life. Listen to her attentively when she tells you excitedly about her hobbies and achievements. And just be there for her when she tells you all about her fears and insecurities. Love is not just about the nice things, after all. It is about sharing everything together and that includes both the good and the bad. Once your trans woman truly feels that you care for her from the core of your heart, she will give you her trust lovingly and willingly.
Stay Faithful to Her
Loyalty is an important aspect of any relationship. Even if you are dating a cis woman, she would expect you to be loyal and faithful. She would obviously want that as her boyfriend, your romantic interests are reserved exclusively for her. It’s just the same in trans girl dating. You have to be faithful to your trans woman partner. And once she becomes sure of your exclusive commitment and affection for her, winning her trust won’t be difficult.
On the contrary, if you are routinely unfaithful to her and frequently lie in order to cover up your mistakes, all hell will break loose. A trans woman is a super intuitive creature. Because of her past experiences, she has learnt the art of seeing through people and their pretences. So, you cannot bluff her for long. A trans woman is a beautiful creature inside out. She is an embodiment of femininity and love. So, if you are faithful to her and treat your relationship with the sincerity and devotion it so deserves, she will begin to trust you eventually.
Do Give Her Some Personal Space
Two people in a relationship spend a lot of time together. And that is so important for taking the relationship forward. But we all are individuals at the end of the day. In trans girl dating, you have to realize that your trans woman also has her own set of interests and ideas to pursue. So, you shouldn’t make her feel as if you are infringing on her personal space. Everybody has a sense of personal space. Some people like to be left alone when they are working on something. Others need some time by themselves every now and then just to recharge their creative and emotional energies. So, you have to respect that personal space of your trans woman and just let her be. Because if she feels like you are on her nerves all the time, she is just going to freak out. And this is not good news from the point of view of winning her trust.
Giving somebody personal space doesn’t just translate into leaving them alone when they want to be left alone. It also implies that you don’t constantly pester them to speak up on things they don’t want to talk about. Maybe you are just literally dying to know about her views on something. But perhaps she is in a different time frame. So don’t get obsessive and irritate her. Just give her some space.
In trans woman dating or any kind of dating, giving the partner some space can be super beneficial for the relationship in long run. In such a relationship, there is a greater degree of mutual understanding and respect. Also, there are no insecurities and jealousies. Insecurities crop up when you try to own the other person all the time. But if you and your trans woman realize and appreciate the fact that you two also have a life outside of your relationship, then your love and commitment get even stronger.
Be Honest in Your Intentions
Honesty is the building block of any relationship. When you’ve met somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app and want to take things forward, it’s obvious that they want to figure out if your intentions are genuine. Your trans woman wants to know if you are looking for a serious long-term relationship or just a fling. Your interest in her has to be genuine. If you are just interested in her because of her looks or because you are fascinated by the fact that she is trans, she will see through your pretences right away. You cannot treat her like a fetish. Only if you are genuinely interested in her as a woman, she will reciprocate your interest and trust you.
So even as you are talking to a trans woman through a trans woman dating site or a trans dating app, just ask yourself this honest question. Are you genuinely interested in dating her or are you just curious about her identity? If you are confused about what you actually want, it’s better to back out or go real slow than hurt the other person. A trans woman has a history of guys being disrespectful to her or treating her as some kind of fetish. So please don’t jump onto that bandwagon. Take things forward only if you are honestly interested in knowing her as a person.
It’s just liked any other relationship. The woman you are dating wants to be valued for what she is and not for her looks, money, position or status. With a trans woman, there is an added possibility that some guys just want to date her because they want to know how it is like to be with a trans woman. That is just rude and disrespectful. She is a woman like any other, not an object of enquiry. So, in trans woman dating, the most important step towards winning the trust of your partner is that you have to be absolutely honest in your intentions.
You Got to Value Your Relationship
Mutual trust comes through only when both partners truly value their relationship. Valuing a relationship doesn’t mean that you try to impress your trans woman with sweet and romantic words day and night that how much you love her and all that. Sweet words come to nothing unless they are aided by concrete action. You have to invest time and energy in your relationship. Your trans woman has to get the feeling that she is a priority for you. Only then will she give you her love and trust.
In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, valuing a relationship means that you are constantly attentive towards the needs and desires of your partner. It means that you are always making new and exciting plans to make them happy, to bring a smile to their face. Valuing your trans woman means that it’s not a big deal for you to take a day off work and be by her side when she is not feeling well. Surprise her every now and then with a gift, chocolates, flowers or with tickets for her favourite movie. It isn’t about how much money you spend. It’s about the kind of time you are investing in your relationship and the effort you are making to make your trans woman feel special and loved.
Love is not rocket science. If you trans woman feels truly loved and valued, then she will certainly give you her trust and love with all her heart.
Relationship partners of transgender-identified individuals have distinctive couple-related experiences that are important to understanding. The “Organizational Diversity” field concentrates studies on the experiences of groups that are different from the archetypal male, white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied and western worker. When analyzing the studies regarding gender relations, however, one perceives their concentration on the dynamics between men and women localized in developed western countries. Transgender persons are persons whose identity and/or gender expression differs from what is socially attributed to their bodies, breaking with the heteronormative logic.
In Brazil, where only the bodies within this discourse are legitimate, this group is systematically excluded from a myriad of spaces including the formal job market. Therefore, the experiences of these people at and with work are invisible to organizational diversity's theory and practice.
To explore this issue, this study analyses the perceptions that the transgender person maintains about their relations:
1. With their professional history
2. With other people in their work environment
3. With organizational policies and practices.
Face-to-face semi-structured interviews were made with six transgender persons that work in organizations. From these narratives, it was found that the person's level of passing usually influences their relations and that the ignorance regarding transgender permeates all three domains of relations.
The Conclusions are:
1. The relations with work are marked by opportunity restrictions
2. The relations in the job hold the person responsible for their own intelligibility and safety
3. The relations with the organization vary according to the way it faces transgenderism and its own voice systems.
Transgenders are “people whose gender identity is different from their assigned gender at birth”. Individuals who identify themselves as transgender usually seek gender reassignment treatments, which may or may not include gender reassignment surgery. Transgender women (or trans women) are people whose body is read as male and whose gender identity is a woman. They usually go through treatments to acquire characteristics typical of the female gender and adopt names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as female. A transgender man (or trans man), in turn, is one whose body is read as female and whose gender identity is a man. They seek to acquire characteristics that are typical of the male gender and use names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as male. When considering their choice of work and hiring and admission processes, the word employed most often by respondents is if they are passable, the degree to which others take a transgender person as cisgender.
In practice, the higher a transgender person is passable, the less likely they are to suffer transphobia: if one's gender expression allows them to be seen by others as cisgender, they will not be subject to the prejudice and discrimination aimed at transgender people, increasing their chances of entering and remaining in the formal labor market. Two aspects affect them being passable: one's name and one's appearance. The ignorance regarding transgender people not only permeates the relations transgender people keep with others in their work environment, but also with the organization itself. The result is that trans phobia creates and maintains difficulties for transgender people in entering and remaining in the formal labor market.