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Dating can be a tricky business. It’s like taking a chance with somebody and then trying and figuring out if the two of you share a common language. It’s like going for a long boat ride with a complete stranger and then gradually fathom that stranger. Romance, passion, understanding; you will have a lot of such expectations from that stranger. But it takes a while to figure out how it will turn out. However, if you are enamoured by a FTM transgender guy and can’t wait to date him, things can be even more challenging.

While dating a FTM trans guy, you can’t just take anything for granted. And if you have only dated cis guys before, this is definitely new terrain for you. You are nervous, excited, everything. However, if you follow a couple of tips while dating a FTM transgender guy, you are going to be alright. If you are lucky, then maybe not just alright but you are totally going to rock in your new founded quest for love!

FTM Trans Guys are Unique and Different

Now just because you are dating a FTM transgender guy, that does not mean you can assume that all transgender guys are carbon copies of each other. You cannot just read stuff about FTM trans guys from the internet and then uncritically apply it to your man.

It’s not that straightforward. Just like all other guys, they come from different backgrounds. Their race, religion, culture, etc. is bound to influence their personalities and behavioural patterns, pretty much as it happens in the case of everyone else.

So, you have to treat your trans guy as a unique person with a distinct individuality and try and figure him out naturally and organically. However, it is also important to realize that all FTM trans guys have different transitioning periods. His transitioning period has a massive impact on his behaviour and moods. You have to keep that in mind while dating a trans guy.

Having said that, you have to walk that tightrope between understanding his nuances and yet, treating him like a regular guy. You have to understand that your trans guy’s sexual, romantic, social and emotional needs are going to be the same as anyone else. The need for optimal emotional and sexual fulfilment in a relationship, the craving for romance, all these expectations are natural in any relationship. But at the same time, you need to consider that his needs might be different from the cis guys you have dated before.

Be Prepared to Face Labels and Stereotypes About Your Relationship

Now, this can be a bit tricky to handle. But with a bit of maturity and understanding, you can get past this phase. Since you are dating a FTM trans guy, it is quite possible that others will judge your relationship. They might label you as ‘gay’. That’s just the ‘not so favourable’ baggage that comes with dating a trans guy and you have to learn to handle it.

It is natural that you might get terribly angry at people labelling your sexuality just because of your partner’s identity. It will seem cruel and insensitive. But you have to learn to live with it. You cannot change societal perceptions overnight. But with a bit of tolerance, you can totally prevent it from affecting you or your relationship.

You just have to remember that any relationship is an intimate and beautiful bond between the people concerned. As long as you and your trans guy are discovering love, passion and emotional intensity in your relationship, you shouldn’t be bothered by anyone else’s opinion on it.

You Have to be Prepared to Support Your Trans Guy

This can be the most challenging and yet the most beautiful part of your relationship. And it is no different from any other relationship. Everyone has certain issues, some vulnerabilities that need to be addressed. We all are incomplete in ourselves which is precisely why we need a relationship. There are times when we need to constantly hear,’ hey you are wonderful. You are the best.

It is pretty much the same with your FTM trans guy. Transitioning is a challenging business. It takes up a lot of his mental and emotional energy. So, it is natural that it can create abrupt mood swings and emotional issues that only a loving partner can address.

Coming out in the open as a transgender guy can be daunting. There are times when the families of trans guys are outrightly hostile towards them. That is why it is so important for you to support your transgender man.

Make Him Feel Great About His Masculinity

Being a FTM trans guy comes with a lot of in-built expectations. And sometimes, these expectations can take a toll on your trans man’s mental and emotional health. That is why it is so important for you to make him feel great about his body, his sexuality and his masculinity.

The masculine feel is very important for a FTM trans guy. Even after transitioning, he faces the constant pressure to appear masculine and macho in a certain way. Therefore, as a partner, you need to constantly compliment him on his masculine appearance, his clothes, maybe that tough macho look in his eyes, his specific body odour that makes you go haywire.

If his quest for the ultimate manliness is supported and adored by his partner, nothing else can make him happier on earth.

Communicate and Find out What Turns Him On

Communication is paramount to any relationship. And especially when you are dating a transgender guy, it becomes even more important. You cannot just presume things that he will enjoy this or that. Make sure you have a candid conversation about what turns him on, what are his sexual needs.

He might have a certain grey area you should probably avoid while getting intimate with him. But there is no way you are going to figure that out unless you ask. For example, some FTM transgender guys might not enjoy certain sexual contact that is normative for female-bodied folk. You have to understand that transitioning is a tough battle physically and mentally. So, he might even be uncomfortable and nervous about certain aspects of the female anatomy. Again, there is no magic wand that is going to make you realize all of this. The only key is one on one, candid communication with your transgender guy.

And it is ultimately the same as any other relationship. Every partner has some preferences, some things they like while getting intimate, certain things they don’t like. Intimacy cannot be built by racing along a dark alley! You have to take it forward slowly and gently, figuring out your partner’s needs and likes along the way. And all that is going to make intimacy even more beautiful and worthwhile.

Do Not Obsess Over His Trans Identity

This is the most important tip to remember while dating a FTM transgender guy. You know that your partner is transgender and accordingly, there are certain things that you will keep in mind. All that is great. But at the end of the day, you have to treat him the way you would any other cis guy. No one likes being made acutely conscious of their identity again and again. That is rude and disrespectful. So, you have to take your relationship forward in a natural and organic manner. When you are out with him when the two of you are talking or having a great time together, reminding him of his ‘trans’ identity all the time is just not cool. And it’s even irritating for him.

You have to figure out your trans guy’s unique needs very subtly and gently. But that does not mean that the sole defining point of the relationship is that he is ‘trans’. You have to take it forward like any other romantic relationship. Candlelight dinners, evenings in the pub, walk on the moonlit beach, a quiet movie date at his place or your place, all the usual stuff that relationships are made of.

Do not Ask Him Uncomfortable Questions About His Past Life

Transitioning is not easy, as it is. It is like discarding an old life and embracing a new one that you have always wanted. When your trans guy is focusing all his physical and mental energies on being the complete man, the last thing he wants is uncomfortable personal questions that take him back to his past life.

Honesty is certainly a key to any good relationship. But there are certain boundaries. And you cannot breach those boundaries unless and until the other person is willing. Maybe, at some point in time, he will himself open up about his past life. He might himself make you a confidante in his life history. But that is for him to decide. Just because you are dating him, you cannot keep on asking your trans guy uncomfortable questions about his past life.

Just let him be. If he has to share something with you, he will by himself. Take things forward slowly and gently.

Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship. Mutual trust can make a relationship beautiful and meaningful over time but the lack of it can make any romantic association go down the winding path. A trans woman is a special creature in the sense that her trust has been betrayed multiple times. A cis woman might have had it rough as well in relationships. But for a trans woman, it’s a different ball game altogether. Her life story is full of mental and psychological cuts and bruises. It’s not just her ex-lovers though who have broken her trust or hurt her badly. She has to face the hatred and censure of the entire society because of her identity. Her friends, neighbours, family, all have hurt her sensibilities at a certain point in time.

So, if you have just started dating her through a trans girl dating site or a transsexual dating site, you got to realize that a slow and steady path is just the right approach. Someone who wants to win the love and trust of a trans woman has to gently heal all her past wounds. And then she would slowly but surreptitiously transform into a magical, fairy-like creature, her eyes shining with love for her partner. Trans woman dating is certainly not easy but it’s a wonderful experience. She is a super-strong creature. And that’s a part of her appeal. She has been hurt and wronged so many times and yet, she hasn’t lost her faith in the possibility of love. She is scared, traumatized and a bit unsure maybe, but she still looks for love everywhere. And once you build that level of trust with her, she would reciprocate your love with the utmost sincerity and devotion.

You seemed to have met the woman of your life through a transgender dating site and now you just want to take things forward. This article lists out a couple of points that would help you understand how to go about establishing trust in trans woman dating and relationships.

Be Committed to Your Trans Woman

Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go out of your way to prove something. It just means that one has to treat their partner with utmost dignity and respect. It doesn’t have to be larger than life gestures. On the contrary, it is the little things that matter most. When you plan out a date with your trans woman, make it a point to be always punctual or even before time. Do discuss the future of your relationship with her every now and then. Tell her about your plans for the future. This will instill a level of trust and confidence in her that you see the relationship as something serious and long term.

Show genuine interest in her life. Listen to her attentively when she tells you excitedly about her hobbies and achievements. And just be there for her when she tells you all about her fears and insecurities. Love is not just about the nice things, after all. It is about sharing everything together and that includes both the good and the bad. Once your trans woman truly feels that you care for her from the core of your heart, she will give you her trust lovingly and willingly.

Stay Faithful to Her

Loyalty is an important aspect of any relationship. Even if you are dating a cis woman, she would expect you to be loyal and faithful.  She would obviously want that as her boyfriend, your romantic interests are reserved exclusively for her. It’s just the same in trans girl dating. You have to be faithful to your trans woman partner. And once she becomes sure of your exclusive commitment and affection for her, winning her trust won’t be difficult.

On the contrary, if you are routinely unfaithful to her and frequently lie in order to cover up your mistakes, all hell will break loose. A trans woman is a super intuitive creature. Because of her past experiences, she has learnt the art of seeing through people and their pretences. So, you cannot bluff her for long. A trans woman is a beautiful creature inside out. She is an embodiment of femininity and love. So, if you are faithful to her and treat your relationship with the sincerity and devotion it so deserves, she will begin to trust you eventually.

Do Give Her Some Personal Space

Two people in a relationship spend a lot of time together. And that is so important for taking the relationship forward. But we all are individuals at the end of the day. In trans girl dating, you have to realize that your trans woman also has her own set of interests and ideas to pursue. So, you shouldn’t make her feel as if you are infringing on her personal space. Everybody has a sense of personal space. Some people like to be left alone when they are working on something. Others need some time by themselves every now and then just to recharge their creative and emotional energies. So, you have to respect that personal space of your trans woman and just let her be. Because if she feels like you are on her nerves all the time, she is just going to freak out. And this is not good news from the point of view of winning her trust.

Giving somebody personal space doesn’t just translate into leaving them alone when they want to be left alone. It also implies that you don’t constantly pester them to speak up on things they don’t want to talk about. Maybe you are just literally dying to know about her views on something. But perhaps she is in a different time frame. So don’t get obsessive and irritate her. Just give her some space.

In trans woman dating or any kind of dating, giving the partner some space can be super beneficial for the relationship in long run. In such a relationship, there is a greater degree of mutual understanding and respect. Also, there are no insecurities and jealousies. Insecurities crop up when you try to own the other person all the time. But if you and your trans woman realize and appreciate the fact that you two also have a life outside of your relationship, then your love and commitment get even stronger.

Be Honest in Your Intentions

Honesty is the building block of any relationship. When you’ve met somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app and want to take things forward, it’s obvious that they want to figure out if your intentions are genuine. Your trans woman wants to know if you are looking for a serious long-term relationship or just a fling. Your interest in her has to be genuine. If you are just interested in her because of her looks or because you are fascinated by the fact that she is trans, she will see through your pretences right away. You cannot treat her like a fetish. Only if you are genuinely interested in her as a woman, she will reciprocate your interest and trust you.

So even as you are talking to a trans woman through a trans woman dating site or a trans dating app, just ask yourself this honest question. Are you genuinely interested in dating her or are you just curious about her identity? If you are confused about what you actually want, it’s better to back out or go real slow than hurt the other person. A trans woman has a history of guys being disrespectful to her or treating her as some kind of fetish. So please don’t jump onto that bandwagon. Take things forward only if you are honestly interested in knowing her as a person.

It’s just liked any other relationship. The woman you are dating wants to be valued for what she is and not for her looks, money, position or status. With a trans woman, there is an added possibility that some guys just want to date her because they want to know how it is like to be with a trans woman. That is just rude and disrespectful. She is a woman like any other, not an object of enquiry. So, in trans woman dating, the most important step towards winning the trust of your partner is that you have to be absolutely honest in your intentions.

You Got to Value Your Relationship

Mutual trust comes through only when both partners truly value their relationship. Valuing a relationship doesn’t mean that you try to impress your trans woman with sweet and romantic words day and night that how much you love her and all that. Sweet words come to nothing unless they are aided by concrete action. You have to invest time and energy in your relationship. Your trans woman has to get the feeling that she is a priority for you. Only then will she give you her love and trust.

In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, valuing a relationship means that you are constantly attentive towards the needs and desires of your partner. It means that you are always making new and exciting plans to make them happy, to bring a smile to their face. Valuing your trans woman means that it’s not a big deal for you to take a day off work and be by her side when she is not feeling well. Surprise her every now and then with a gift, chocolates, flowers or with tickets for her favourite movie. It isn’t about how much money you spend. It’s about the kind of time you are investing in your relationship and the effort you are making to make your trans woman feel special and loved.

Love is not rocket science. If you trans woman feels truly loved and valued, then she will certainly give you her trust and love with all her heart.

1. With their professional history

2. With other people in their work environment

3. With organizational policies and practices.

Face-to-face semi-structured interviews were made with six transgender persons that work in organizations. From these narratives, it was found that the person's level of passing usually influences their relations and that the ignorance regarding transgender permeates all three domains of relations.

The Conclusions are:

1. The relations with work are marked by opportunity restrictions

2. The relations in the job hold the person responsible for their own intelligibility and safety

3. The relations with the organization vary according to the way it faces transgenderism and its own voice systems.

Transgenders are “people whose gender identity is different from their assigned gender at birth”. Individuals who identify themselves as transgender usually seek gender reassignment treatments, which may or may not include gender reassignment surgery. Transgender women (or trans women) are people whose body is read as male and whose gender identity is a woman. They usually go through treatments to acquire characteristics typical of the female gender and adopt names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as female. A transgender man (or trans man), in turn, is one whose body is read as female and whose gender identity is a man. They seek to acquire characteristics that are typical of the male gender and use names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as male. When considering their choice of work and hiring and admission processes, the word employed most often by respondents is if they are passable, the degree to which others take a transgender person as cisgender.

In practice, the higher a transgender person is passable, the less likely they are to suffer transphobia: if one's gender expression allows them to be seen by others as cisgender, they will not be subject to the prejudice and discrimination aimed at transgender people, increasing their chances of entering and remaining in the formal labor market. Two aspects affect them being passable: one's name and one's appearance. The ignorance regarding transgender people not only permeates the relations transgender people keep with others in their work environment, but also with the organization itself. The result is that trans phobia creates and maintains difficulties for transgender people in entering and remaining in the formal labor market.