User blogs

Tag search results for: "transgender identity"
Serenity VIP


Finding love is one of the positive things for any human being; love doesn't choose who you fall in love with. The dating game has seen a significant change from the previous traditional setting. Nowadays you can look for love using your phone or even a laptop as long as you have internet. When looking for love on a transgender dating site, you don't want to come off as a freak or disrespectful. People have different personalities and may handle scenarios differently; you have to put this in mind when looking for love.


Trans community has gone through unimaginable atrocities over the years from violence to killings due to them transitioning. They had been misunderstood for a very long time. There are cases where trans women are looking for love but all they get are men who want to fulfill their crazy sexual fetishes, who want random hook-ups basically that’s it. So the moment they come across any man who wants to date them they already have their guard up and takes note of every move or word one says.


If you have never dated a trans woman, you have to be cautious in approaching the issue. We don't want you to offend anyone or come off as insensitive. Now that you have downloaded a transgender dating app for Android, before you send any message through the chat option to a potential lover, read the article below and understand how to handle a trans woman if you've never dated one before.


Your Potential Lover is not a Sexual Fantasy

    Imagine this, everywhere you go, and people view you as a sexual fetish, probably they are thinking of how it feels like going to bed with you? Do you have two sexual organs?  We can all agree this can be not very pleasant and is emotionally draining. You will always be on edge when someone approaches you, even if they were greeting you.


    Why go ahead and make another human being feel this way? Why send messages asking what they have between their legs?  Treat someone as you would love to be treated. When you spot a trans woman, you like, and you would love to know more about them, approach her delicately. Years of being mistreated and viewed differently have left a lasting impression on most trans individuals, so don't blame them.


    Strike up a conversation that's doesn't focus on their genital parts or anything to do with their sexuality; there are plenty of topics you can talk about. Always remember the person you are dating isn't a ticket to fulfilling your wild sexual fetishes. They are humans who need love too. They aren’t there to answer your queries and imaginations on transgender.


    Put aside the crazy things you see or read on the internet on transgender. Take time to create a bond with your lover. Know more about them and what they do and how you can be a support system for them without making your partner feel wary of themselves.


    Confusion on Sexuality

    There has been a lot of misconstrued thinking that when you date a trans you are considered gay or even a trans. Certainly, this is not the case at all, you are a guy dating a woman just like any other guy is doing when dating a non-trans woman.


    Now that you are dating a trans or aspire to date one, it doesn't mean you are trans too. Over time there has been a lot of stigma in society when straight men date trans women; they are automatically assumed to be part of the LGBTQIA community. Indeed, this is not the case; when a straight man dates a trans woman, they are still straight because she's dating a woman.


    Dating a trans man doesn't make them any less of a man or straight. When you date one, know your sexuality doesn't change, don't be afraid or question your sexuality. Gender and sexuality are two different things. You are aware gender means the characteristics that help differentiate a man from a woman, while sexuality is how you feel and express yourself sexually.


    One thing people confuse on is when identifying their partner’s sexuality. For some unknown reason, it’s never understood why people assume trans women are gay. You find instances when you are introducing your partner or letting people know of her transition journey you say they are gay. Such is not the case.


    Always respect your trans partner's sexuality; she is not a gay guy. She is a straight woman. Respect the fact she has boobs, woman sexual organs, and is beautiful just like any other woman out there. Don't go somewhere and introduce her as a gay guy, you were attracted to her because she is a woman.


    Have Some Sensitivity

    When going on dates, could you be gracious enough and treat your trans woman date as you would any other woman. Questions such as how they decided to change their sexuality and their sexual organs shouldn't be asked. Only engage in these sorts of talks if the lady in question has initiated it. Talk about her interests, hobbies, and life expectations, engage in such kind of interactions. Your primary goal is to ensure your partner is comfortable and enjoying the date.


    Don’t be the annoying individual who wants to question or pressure your partner about their choices, this ends up messing with their self-esteem.


    When introducing your lady to your family and friends, they don't have to know that your woman is trans. I mean, she is like any other lady, isn't she? Her gender or sexuality shouldn't be news to everyone around you.


    All-Trans Women aren't the Same

    Not all trans women have the same body; you may have dated a trans woman who has not had sexual organ reassignment but is taking hormones that enhance their outward appearance.  You may also come across a woman who has had gender reassignment procedures done. Don't assume that all trans women are the same in terms of body and sexual organs.


    The same applies to personality; society has left many trans individuals with emotional turmoil and the feeling of being stigmatized. If you happen to date a trans going through their own emotions dealing with society and maybe your relationship ended badly. Don't have the formed notion that all trans have a particular way of handling things or being in a relationship.


    Have Respect for Your Lady

    Just because your lady transitioned it doesn’t make her a man. She is a beautiful woman who decided to embrace, love, and respects her sexuality. When having arguments or disagreements don’t deal with her as you would a man. She is a lady who can’t fight you. Be calm handle the issues you have amicably. Never mention or use her transitioning journey as a weapon to hurt her. The same way you will handle any other woman is the same way you should handle your trans partner.


    Have Some Chivalry

    Imagine dating someone and they keep you a secret, it will hurt, wouldn’t it? One thing that many trans women will tell you is, they find a good man who ticks all the boxes, but the man can’t commit and keeps them as a secret. When you decide to date and love someone be ready to embrace everything about them not caring what the public will say.


    When going on dates let people around you know she is your woman, your soulmate and your lifelong partner, better than wasting someone’s emotions and time they have invested by being in a relationship with you.


    Yes, your partner was born with a male sexual organ, but this doesn't make her a man; she is a woman. She needs to be treated like the queen she is. Open doors for her, take her on lovely romantic dates. Please don't have the mentality that you are dating a man because you are not; you are dating a beautiful trans woman. When someone tries to come at her different and disrespectful, be her knight, defend and protect by all means. A relationship can be tricky most times; your partner might tell you that you don't treat her right before registering for a trans dating site looking for the next relationship. Try and work through to being an ideal partner and treat your queen like she deserves.


    Serenity VIP


    Identity plays a crucial role in a person’s life journey. A person’s identity also determines how society perceives them. And that is why it’s so difficult for transgender people to be able to work out even the most basic needs of life – dating, relationships and a job. It’s hard to imagine that even in the 21st century; society is so prejudiced against trans people. But that is unfortunately the sad reality.

    A transgender person can’t even date someone the usual way. They have to go through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating site. It’s literally impossible for a trans woman to attend a random party, strike a conversation with a random guy and tell him that she is trans. It is difficult to even imagine the kind of dangerous scenarios she could be exposed to if she does that sort of a thing. Transgender people are also vulnerable to cyberbullying and a host of online threats and abuses. Hence, many consider opting for a virtual private network and look for the best VPN service around.

    So why is society so obsessed with making a transgender person’s life hell? What is their problem with a trans person? Well, it is their identity that society finds problematic because the desired and lived gender identity of a trans person is exactly opposite to their biological gender identity. That is, a trans person doesn’t identity with the gender they were assigned at the time of birth. And that is what society finds hard to accept.

    Society is obsessed with a person’s biological gender identity which is the gender assigned to them at the time of birth. Since childhood, their respective gender identities are repeatedly reinforced in the minds of girls and boys. Girls are encouraged to keep their hair long, take interest in make-up and clothes, play girlie games and just generally behave girlie. Boys are encouraged to play outdoors and slowly develop body language and a lifestyle that is considered’ manly’. If anyone tries to challenge the conventional gender roles assigned to them and feel like they belong to the other gender, they are seen as a threat to the existing social order.

    And that is precisely why society is so inhumane to transgender people. It views them as ‘transgressors. However, it’s not just trans people that society labels and judges. Those who identify themselves as genderqueer are also a victim of societal hatred and discrimination. These are people for whom gender is a fluid concept. They don’t identify with a particular gender. A genderqueer person kind of lives their own identity in between genders. They could also continuously switch between the two genders, according to their wish.

    If you wish to date a transgender person through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating app, you need to understand a few basic characteristics of them. There are so many stereotypes surrounding trans people in society that it can be difficult to know how they actually are.

    This article would list a few insightful points that would help you understand transgender identity from a holistic perspective.



    Transgender People Are Not Necessarily Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual

    This is a common misconception that all transgender people are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Nothing can be farther from the truth. To begin with, the term transgender is strongly related to one’s gender identity, as opposed to sexual identity. When we use terms like gay and bisexual, these correspond more with the sexual identity of a person.

    Secondly, transgender people strongly identify with one gender, either male or female. Many even undergo medical transitioning to develop the outward manifestations of that gender and be recognized in society as that gender. As a matter of fact, many transgender people want to date and have relationships the heterosexual way. That is a trans woman desires a man, just like a cis woman does. And a trans man would desire a woman, just like a cis man. So, it’s wrong to indiscriminately label trans people as gay, lesbian or bisexual. If you are a cis guy and you start chatting with a trans woman through a transgender dating app or a transsexual dating site, she obviously wants to date you just like any other woman would.

    Transgender people are also not genderqueer. They strongly identify with a particular gender and then try to live their life, according to that gender. A genderqueer person, on the contrary, doesn’t believe in the concept of gender. They can live in between genders or switch from one gender to another, as and when they wish.



    Transgender People Identify with a Gender Different from the One they were Assigned at Birth

    This is a pretty basic point. But it’s important to emphasize because many people still don’t have a clear understanding of the gender identity crisis that trans folks undergo. Cis folks might think that the strong urge to change one’s gender is just a whimsical fetish. But in reality, the gender identity of trans people is a matter of life and death for them.

    From a very early age, they begin to strongly identify with the opposite gender. They don’t find pleasure or happiness in activities that a typical person born with their gender would. Because of this, many transgender people also experience gender dysphoria at some point in their lives. If you go through a transgender blog or read about the experience of trans people on a transgender forum, then you would understand the kind of grave identity crisis they undergo.

    Because of fear of society and other reasons, many still forcefully try to live their life according to the norms of their biological gender identity. But there comes a point when it gets too overwhelming and they can’t handle it anymore. That’s when they come out as a transgender person.



    A Transgender Person Might or Might Not Undergo Medical Transitioning

    Many trans people decide to undergo medical transitioning in order to outwardly embrace their desired gender identity. That is, they want to have the physiological characteristics of the gender they identify with. The medical transitioning procedure helps them live in society freely and openly as the gender they identify with. It also helps them find a love interest or a partner. Transitioning is especially helpful for trans people who want to date within the normative framework of heterosexuality.

    Having said that, many trans folks choose to skip transitioning altogether. They embrace their new gender by adopting the body language, dressing style and behavioural characteristics of that gender. It really is about the choice of the person concerned. Some feel just fine even without transitioning while others have this strong urge to physically be like the gender they identify with.

    Medical transitioning is also an expensive procedure. Many trans folks can’t afford it. Besides, it is also very demanding physically, mentally and emotionally. Many transgender people lack the support of family or friends that they so need during the transition. Although things are changing now as many voluntary organizations are coming forward to help trans people with transitioning. Also in some countries, the state medical services can also provide for the transitioning procedure of a transgender person.



    Trans People Contribute a Lot to the Society

    Most people have this stereotype about trans people that they are some kinds of losers who portray themselves as victims all the time. This is crass, insensitive and totally unacceptable. But unfortunately, that’s how some in society perceive transgender people. If you read up about trans folks on the internet or just go through a transgender blog, you’ll come to know the kind of amazing contributions that trans people are making to society.

    And they are not just trans rights’ activists. But transgender people can be increasingly seen in mainstream professions like doctors, engineers, police officers, academicians and even politicians.

    There are many trans icons across the world in fields like entertainment, culture, art and literature. Trans activists are creating awareness not only on issues faced by their own community but they have also become a voice for the marginalized and under-represented in general.

    Despite all these advances, prejudices against transgender people still remain deeply entrenched in society. There still are a number of clinicians who believe that gender non-conforming children can be set right through relevant interventions. That is, they should be encouraged to behave according to their traditional gender roles and this will eventually fix their ‘problem’.

    The whole mindset of viewing the identity crisis of a transgender person as a ‘problem’ is just sad and it reflects the rather limited understanding of society on issues related to transgender people. There needs to be a larger social movement through which various trans issues find representation on a larger platform. There has to be greater emphasis on the fact that transgender people are not an object of journalistic enquiry. They are people, like any other and you need to connect with them at an individual level.

    Those wanting to date a transgender person through a transgender dating app or a trans dating site need to understand that trans people have the same emotional needs as anyone else.

         

     


    Serenity VIP

    Eventually, your next step for legal transition will be to change your gender marker. Now, this part is significantly more difficult and varies wildly from state to state. Some states are relatively simple, while others are a right pain in the butt. For example, I am very privileged to have done all this in Minnesota, which has one of the more trans-friendly laws regarding gender change. For me, I had to consult with a physician about my gender identity and present a document from her verifying that she believes my gender identity to be valid (though ironically, the Judge presiding over my case didn't even ask for it! Don't gamble on that though ), alongside dotting my I's and crossing my t's of course. I got it changed on my social security card, my birth certificate, and my photo ID.




    Unfortunately, not every gender change is going to be that simple. A lot of states require that you undergo gender reassignment surgery before you are allowed to change your name, which is both cost-prohibitive for many, but also not something that every trans person wishes to undergo. Some states will also require that your gender change is noted on your birth certificate (mine did not, thankfully). Of course, knowing how the United States can often treat trans people, it should not be surprising at all to find out that a few states are not interested in trans rights beyond seeing the advance of these rights as a threat.


    In Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee, a person cannot change the gender on their birth certificate to match their gender. In all three, however, a person may still change the gender on their driver's license just by having a notice from their physician verifying their gender identity. Kansas has laws that prevent changes to a birth certificate other than minor changes, and Tennessee is the only state to specifically bar trans people from changing their gender marker.


    It's not all bad though, because at least driver's license gender change laws are significantly less stringent. Unfortunately, you will still have to deal with some rigmarole depending on your state. Luckily, states generally do not require SRS in order to get the gender marker changed on your driver's license, meaning that you will still be able to present as your gender in public if you can't change it on your birth certificate. The conflict with states not allowing birth certificate changes can present complications, however; for instance, if you were born in Ohio and moved to Kentucky, Kentucky law requires that your driver's license's marker match your birth certificate's.


    While we are admittedly in a bit of a sour spot in history for trans people with the election of Donald Trump to the presidency and setbacks on trans rights, trans people have seen many legal victories in recent years. For example, before April of this year, Idaho was alongside Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee in denying trans people the right to change their gender marker on their birth certificate. However, a subsequent lawsuit and decision by an Idaho District Court Judge resulted in Idaho law being changed to the effect that trans people's request to change their gender marker is not automatically denied anymore. Not only that, but SRS is not required, and neither is a notation of the gender having been changed. There are lawsuits against other such laws, including Ohio, so we may well see laws relaxed.


    Because of the complexity of laws regarding changing your gender, such an article cannot and should not be used as your sole source of information. In order to get a proper understanding of your state's laws, check out here... Changing Birth Certificate Gender Designations: State-By-State Guidelines.

    Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
    Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.