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Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship. Mutual trust can make a relationship beautiful and meaningful over time but the lack of it can make any romantic association go down the winding path. A trans woman is a special creature in the sense that her trust has been betrayed multiple times. A cis woman might have had it rough as well in relationships. But for a trans woman, it’s a different ball game altogether. Her life story is full of mental and psychological cuts and bruises. It’s not just her ex-lovers though who have broken her trust or hurt her badly. She has to face the hatred and censure of the entire society because of her identity. Her friends, neighbours, family, all have hurt her sensibilities at a certain point in time.

So, if you have just started dating her through a trans girl dating site or a transsexual dating site, you got to realize that a slow and steady path is just the right approach. Someone who wants to win the love and trust of a trans woman has to gently heal all her past wounds. And then she would slowly but surreptitiously transform into a magical, fairy-like creature, her eyes shining with love for her partner. Trans woman dating is certainly not easy but it’s a wonderful experience. She is a super-strong creature. And that’s a part of her appeal. She has been hurt and wronged so many times and yet, she hasn’t lost her faith in the possibility of love. She is scared, traumatized and a bit unsure maybe, but she still looks for love everywhere. And once you build that level of trust with her, she would reciprocate your love with the utmost sincerity and devotion.

You seemed to have met the woman of your life through a transgender dating site and now you just want to take things forward. This article lists out a couple of points that would help you understand how to go about establishing trust in trans woman dating and relationships.

Be Committed to Your Trans Woman

Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go out of your way to prove something. It just means that one has to treat their partner with utmost dignity and respect. It doesn’t have to be larger than life gestures. On the contrary, it is the little things that matter most. When you plan out a date with your trans woman, make it a point to be always punctual or even before time. Do discuss the future of your relationship with her every now and then. Tell her about your plans for the future. This will instill a level of trust and confidence in her that you see the relationship as something serious and long term.

Show genuine interest in her life. Listen to her attentively when she tells you excitedly about her hobbies and achievements. And just be there for her when she tells you all about her fears and insecurities. Love is not just about the nice things, after all. It is about sharing everything together and that includes both the good and the bad. Once your trans woman truly feels that you care for her from the core of your heart, she will give you her trust lovingly and willingly.

Stay Faithful to Her

Loyalty is an important aspect of any relationship. Even if you are dating a cis woman, she would expect you to be loyal and faithful.  She would obviously want that as her boyfriend, your romantic interests are reserved exclusively for her. It’s just the same in trans girl dating. You have to be faithful to your trans woman partner. And once she becomes sure of your exclusive commitment and affection for her, winning her trust won’t be difficult.

On the contrary, if you are routinely unfaithful to her and frequently lie in order to cover up your mistakes, all hell will break loose. A trans woman is a super intuitive creature. Because of her past experiences, she has learnt the art of seeing through people and their pretences. So, you cannot bluff her for long. A trans woman is a beautiful creature inside out. She is an embodiment of femininity and love. So, if you are faithful to her and treat your relationship with the sincerity and devotion it so deserves, she will begin to trust you eventually.

Do Give Her Some Personal Space

Two people in a relationship spend a lot of time together. And that is so important for taking the relationship forward. But we all are individuals at the end of the day. In trans girl dating, you have to realize that your trans woman also has her own set of interests and ideas to pursue. So, you shouldn’t make her feel as if you are infringing on her personal space. Everybody has a sense of personal space. Some people like to be left alone when they are working on something. Others need some time by themselves every now and then just to recharge their creative and emotional energies. So, you have to respect that personal space of your trans woman and just let her be. Because if she feels like you are on her nerves all the time, she is just going to freak out. And this is not good news from the point of view of winning her trust.

Giving somebody personal space doesn’t just translate into leaving them alone when they want to be left alone. It also implies that you don’t constantly pester them to speak up on things they don’t want to talk about. Maybe you are just literally dying to know about her views on something. But perhaps she is in a different time frame. So don’t get obsessive and irritate her. Just give her some space.

In trans woman dating or any kind of dating, giving the partner some space can be super beneficial for the relationship in long run. In such a relationship, there is a greater degree of mutual understanding and respect. Also, there are no insecurities and jealousies. Insecurities crop up when you try to own the other person all the time. But if you and your trans woman realize and appreciate the fact that you two also have a life outside of your relationship, then your love and commitment get even stronger.

Be Honest in Your Intentions

Honesty is the building block of any relationship. When you’ve met somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app and want to take things forward, it’s obvious that they want to figure out if your intentions are genuine. Your trans woman wants to know if you are looking for a serious long-term relationship or just a fling. Your interest in her has to be genuine. If you are just interested in her because of her looks or because you are fascinated by the fact that she is trans, she will see through your pretences right away. You cannot treat her like a fetish. Only if you are genuinely interested in her as a woman, she will reciprocate your interest and trust you.

So even as you are talking to a trans woman through a trans woman dating site or a trans dating app, just ask yourself this honest question. Are you genuinely interested in dating her or are you just curious about her identity? If you are confused about what you actually want, it’s better to back out or go real slow than hurt the other person. A trans woman has a history of guys being disrespectful to her or treating her as some kind of fetish. So please don’t jump onto that bandwagon. Take things forward only if you are honestly interested in knowing her as a person.

It’s just liked any other relationship. The woman you are dating wants to be valued for what she is and not for her looks, money, position or status. With a trans woman, there is an added possibility that some guys just want to date her because they want to know how it is like to be with a trans woman. That is just rude and disrespectful. She is a woman like any other, not an object of enquiry. So, in trans woman dating, the most important step towards winning the trust of your partner is that you have to be absolutely honest in your intentions.

You Got to Value Your Relationship

Mutual trust comes through only when both partners truly value their relationship. Valuing a relationship doesn’t mean that you try to impress your trans woman with sweet and romantic words day and night that how much you love her and all that. Sweet words come to nothing unless they are aided by concrete action. You have to invest time and energy in your relationship. Your trans woman has to get the feeling that she is a priority for you. Only then will she give you her love and trust.

In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, valuing a relationship means that you are constantly attentive towards the needs and desires of your partner. It means that you are always making new and exciting plans to make them happy, to bring a smile to their face. Valuing your trans woman means that it’s not a big deal for you to take a day off work and be by her side when she is not feeling well. Surprise her every now and then with a gift, chocolates, flowers or with tickets for her favourite movie. It isn’t about how much money you spend. It’s about the kind of time you are investing in your relationship and the effort you are making to make your trans woman feel special and loved.

Love is not rocket science. If you trans woman feels truly loved and valued, then she will certainly give you her trust and love with all her heart.

1. With their professional history

2. With other people in their work environment

3. With organizational policies and practices.

Face-to-face semi-structured interviews were made with six transgender persons that work in organizations. From these narratives, it was found that the person's level of passing usually influences their relations and that the ignorance regarding transgender permeates all three domains of relations.

The Conclusions are:

1. The relations with work are marked by opportunity restrictions

2. The relations in the job hold the person responsible for their own intelligibility and safety

3. The relations with the organization vary according to the way it faces transgenderism and its own voice systems.

Transgenders are “people whose gender identity is different from their assigned gender at birth”. Individuals who identify themselves as transgender usually seek gender reassignment treatments, which may or may not include gender reassignment surgery. Transgender women (or trans women) are people whose body is read as male and whose gender identity is a woman. They usually go through treatments to acquire characteristics typical of the female gender and adopt names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as female. A transgender man (or trans man), in turn, is one whose body is read as female and whose gender identity is a man. They seek to acquire characteristics that are typical of the male gender and use names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as male. When considering their choice of work and hiring and admission processes, the word employed most often by respondents is if they are passable, the degree to which others take a transgender person as cisgender.

In practice, the higher a transgender person is passable, the less likely they are to suffer transphobia: if one's gender expression allows them to be seen by others as cisgender, they will not be subject to the prejudice and discrimination aimed at transgender people, increasing their chances of entering and remaining in the formal labor market. Two aspects affect them being passable: one's name and one's appearance. The ignorance regarding transgender people not only permeates the relations transgender people keep with others in their work environment, but also with the organization itself. The result is that trans phobia creates and maintains difficulties for transgender people in entering and remaining in the formal labor market.

If they are socially open about being transgender, they have to limit themselves to places that are not transphobic. And it might be a challenge to find such places in small towns and cities. So trans people are always taking chances. Even at the cost of their safety and security, they sometimes take chances because the urge to feel loved is the same everywhere.

All this makes trans people trying to find love very vulnerable. They are vulnerable to all kinds of abuse and violence. There are probably so many transphobic people lurking out there who harbor not just apathy but plain hatred for trans people. And if a trans person is trying to look for love offline outside the circle of their friends or acquaintances, then they are easily prone to becoming victims of such people.

This article tells you about various ways in which trans people can find love and also overcome the challenges that come with the whole process.

Try to Find Love Online

It’s true that online dating might not work for everyone in the long term. But it’s a good place to start. At least, it’s safe and secure. Once you join a transgender dating site, you can at least chat with as many people you like without having to worry about hatred or abuse. The best part is you don’t have to meet anyone until and unless you want. And if you are just good with talking to people online, so be it. There is no pressure to meet anyone in online transsexual dating.

With conventional offline dating, your options are limited. But with online dating, you can meet a variety of interesting people. This increases the probability of you meeting the right person. The best thing about dating through a site specifically meant for transgender people is that you don’t have to worry so much about the chance of other people not knowing your identity. However, it’s best to be cautious and upfront. Reveal your identity to the person the moment you start communicating with them. You don’t want to waste your time talking to someone over a period of time who would run away the moment they hear you are trans.

Find Love through Friends

This has its pros and cons. The advantages are that you can be surer about the kind of person you would be dating. There would be fewer chances of them being a fraud or transphobic. The disadvantage obviously is that you have fairly limited options to choose from.

But as a transgender person, safety is one of your most important concerns. So from that point of view, dating someone through friends is quite safe. Your best bet would be to go out with someone who is directly known to your friends. That way you can be sure that they cannot harass you or get you into some kind of trouble. Another way to find a date is to obviously go to social gatherings of friends and friends of friends. Now here, you have to use your own judgment. One meets all kinds of people at social gatherings and not all of them will be personally known to your friends. So be a bit cautious and alert.

Ultimately, it’s all about your gut instinct. It’s rather unfortunate that as a trans person, you just have to worry about your safety all the time. Even when you are dating someone, the thing that preoccupies the most is if they will harm you or not. That reflects the sad state of affairs for trans people across the world. But things are changing, albeit slowly.

Stay Away from People who treat You Like Fetish

With trans people, unfortunately, there is a whole army of guys out there who would treat them like a fetish. It is easy to fall into the trap of such people because many a time, they might be the only ones wanting to date a trans person. And they’ll be so forthcoming and all that. You might just end up believing that they’ve fallen in love with you for good. But don’t fall into that trap. These guys are what we ‘chasers’. They are chasing you only because they want to get laid with someone who is a transgender. It sounds blunt but that’s the truth.

If you are just looking for some fun, it might not be that bad an idea. But if you are looking for dating someone, they’ll just end up hurting you. For a chaser, you are only an exotic fetish. They just want to check you out how you look when you guys get physical and then they are probably going to brag about it in front of their friends that I had a great night with a trans woman.

If you are a little bit alert, it’s pretty easy to spot the ‘trans fetish’ guy. He would seem to be so much into you that it would come across as too good to be true. And it will be that only if you take our word.

Always Listen to Your Gut Feeling

Our gut feeling is the voice of intuition. It might seem a bit illogical and superstitious at first but a gut feeling rarely goes wrong. You met someone through a transsexual dating app, it’s all going well and you are planning on meeting them for the first time. If there is a voice in the back of your head that says ‘no, don’t’, then you should listen to that voice.

It’s possible that you are over-thinking but even then, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Never try to negate your own intuition. Intuition will obviously not tell you the reasons behind something right away. But it will definitely give you a hint if the direction in which you are going is not quite right. And you’ll eventually figure out the reasons as well.

Be Safe

Safety is the most important thing. There are many psychos lurking out there whose only intention in life is to probably harm a transgender person. So take all the necessary precautions. If you go out on a date with someone, keep someone close to you informed. Text them the venue address. If possible, ask them to hang out somewhere close to the venue so that they are nearby if you need help.

Never meet anyone at their place for a date, no matter how much they sweet talk you into doing that. If they invite you for some house party or want to meet in some private place, just decline politely but firmly. When you date someone, make it a point to meet them only in public. Only when you are really sure this is getting somewhere for good, should you take it to the next level.

Try to do some investigation from your own end about the kind of person you are dating. One obvious way of doing this is to look for their profile on social media. Check out the information provided by them to see if there is any discrepancy between what they told you and what is out there. If you cannot find them on social media at all, that too is a red flag. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are dodgy but still, you should be on your guard.

Love is the most beautiful feeling of life. True love elevates us to another level. And you don’t deserve to go through hatred and abuse in the process of finding love. So just go slow and gentle and trust your instinct.

Never Lose Hope

As a transgender person trying to find love, it is quite possible that you feel dejected at times and begin to lose hope. But if you stay strong and resilient, you will definitely overcome it. If you have dated a couple of times and it still hasn’t worked out, just take a break and relax. Life is not always about dating. Just go with the flow and meet people. Sometimes, we meet that special person of our life in places and situations we are least expecting to. Dating is not the only way to meet the love of your life. Sometimes, when you just let go of certain things and live life, wonderful things happen.

Concentrate on yourself, your hobbies, and your interests. Redefine your life if you think you’ve gotten stuck into the same old, boring routine for long. Sometimes, things don’t work out because we get trapped in monotony. We don’t realize it at that time. But this monotony goes on circulating sameness and prevents new and exciting things from happening. Break the pattern.