You’ve been toying with the idea of dating a transsexual woman for quite some time now. And you’ve now joined a trans dating site through which you hope to meet the transsexual woman of your dreams. Well, so far so good. But what you need to realize is that you can’t expect dating a trans woman to be like dating someone from a different planet! If you think a trans woman is an exotic creature who is completely different from your average cis woman, you are totally wrong.
A transsexual woman is a woman like any other. So, when you approach her for dating, do not harbour any pre-conceived notions or popular cultural stereotypes about trans women. Just connect with her as you would with any other woman and let things flow organically. It really is as simple as that. But guys tend to make it overcomplicated when it comes to dating a transsexual woman.
So, before you start dating a trans woman you’ve met through a transsexual dating app or a transsexual dating site, you need to get some basic knowledge on what it means to be a transsexual woman. Here are a couple of points that you should keep in mind before dating a transsexual woman.
You Got to Understand What Transsexuality Is
Before you begin to date a transsexual woman through a transgender dating app or a transsexual dating site, you need to do some basic research on ‘Transsexuality’. Ignorance is certainly not bliss, especially in such a scenario. You are more prone to stereotyping people or giving them labels when you don’t have a clue about who they actually are. But once you have some kind of background, you can understand better and perhaps even empathize.
The first thing that you need to understand is that a transsexual woman is not some crazy creature who spent loads of money on medical transitioning just because she had a whim one fine day that she wants to be a woman. If you think like that, you are certainly downgrading the life struggle of transsexual people and negating their strong sense of identity.
A transsexual woman has undergone transitioning because the gender identity she belongs to in her heart happens to be different from the gender she was assigned at birth. So, it’s not a frivolous choice she is making. Being born with the wrong gender biologically has always been a source of intense trauma to her and that’s why her identity is a matter of life and death for her. Once you understand this, you’d be able to appreciate her and her life choices better.
Once you understand what transsexuality actually is, you’d be able to comprehend in totality all the struggles she has undergone and the pains she has taken to live like the woman she actually is. And when you begin dating her through a trans dating site or a trans dating app, you won’t be lost as to how you should move forward.
Dating a Transsexual Woman Does Not Make You Gay
Many cis guys are scared of dating transsexual woman thinking that they will be perceived as gay if they do that. Well, if societal perception is all you care about, don’t even bother to date her. You are certainly not up to her standards, in that case. But even for your own knowledge, you got to know that dating a trans woman doesn’t turn you gay by any stretch of the imagination.
A trans woman is a woman just like any other. When a cis guy is dating a trans woman, it’s almost like dating any other cis woman. The relationship follows the same course and patterns of courtship. There are similar rules to be followed when it comes to physical love and intimacy. So, you are dating her pretty much like you would any other woman within the normative framework of heterosexuality. The question about you being gay because you are dating a trans woman doesn’t even arise.
The question exists mostly in your mind because you are focussing too much on the word ‘trans’ and not thinking enough about her identity as a woman. Just focus on her identity as a woman and all your doubts would go away automatically.
Don’t be Obsessed with the Subject of Her Transition
You’ve been talking to her through a trans girl dating site or a trans woman dating site for quite a while now. You think it’s the right time to make the next move and ask her out for a date. She happily agrees. Now, when you meet her at a café, how do you begin the conversation? Suppose you are meeting a cis woman for a date, you would obviously start with some small talk about how the café is, how the ambience is and then move onto topics like her hobbies, interests, etc. But when you are meeting a trans woman in a café for your first date, how do you start the conversation? Do you get obsessed with the word ‘trans’ and straightaway start asking personal questions about her transition, her past life, what body parts she has? Just imagine the kind of shock she would get if you talk to her like that on your first date.
So, the point is whether it's a trans woman dating or cis woman dating, the rules are somewhat similar. You connect with your transsexual date at an individual level and not ask uncomfortable questions about her personal life. That kind of behaviour is rude, disrespectful plus it would make her feel as if you are just interested in having a good time with her physically. She would think that you don’t value her as a person.
So don’t get obsessed with the subject of her transition. If she has to tell you something about her past, she will when the right time comes. But don’t make your dates like some kind of journalistic interviews about her identity as a transsexual woman. That would make her feel uncomfortable and damage your relationship before it has even begun properly.
Be Gentle and Understanding
A transsexual woman has undergone a lot in her life. She has battled societal apathy, discrimination and outright hatred. It is possible that even her family abandoned her at such a crucial time in her life. Having endured so much, she has come out a thousand times stronger. But she is a human being, after all. There are moments when she breaks down and can’t handle it anymore. You got to comfort your transsexual woman with your gentle love and understanding during those moments.
She might sometimes have mood swings for no apparent reason. Do not judge her in those circumstances and label her a difficult woman. Just be gentle and considerate. Once you have managed to walk with her through all the thorny paths, you will meet the most beautiful, compassionate and loving woman on this planet. Just give her you're understanding and compassion and you will surely receive her love and trust.
Be Chivalrous
Chivalry never goes out of fashion. A transsexual woman is a confident woman with modern sensibilities. And yet, there is a certain old-world charm about her. Deep down in her heart, she desires a man who still has a bit of good old chivalry.
You don’t have to do anything major to catch her attention. It’s those little chivalries that matter; open the door for her, pull out that chair for her to sit, make an offer to carry her stuff if the two of you are walking and she is carrying a couple of shopping bags.
And once your relationship has reached that stage where you visit her house frequently, help her a bit with housework. Cook for her once in a while or just do the dishes and tidy up her apartment.
Your transsexual woman is fiercely independent. So, it’s not that she expects you to do anything for her. But these little acts of chivalry will make her feel that you genuinely care for her and can do anything to protect her from all harm.
Appreciate Her in a Wholesome Manner
When you’ve just started dating someone through a transsexual dating site and they happen to be gorgeous, it is obvious that you are besotted by her physical appearance. But as you get to know her better, do not restrict yourself to complimenting her only on her looks or appearance.
In fact, if you spend too much time commenting on her body, it might just backfire as your transsexual woman will think you are just interested in physical gratification. So go beyond the looks and all. Get to know her as a person and then compliment her on those other qualities. If she is amazingly well-read, praise her for that. Maybe she is someone who can hold forth a great conversation on any subject. Make it a point to compliment her on those great conversational skills. She is perhaps a great listener and gives the most accurate, well thought out advice on any given subject. Complement her on that quality of hers.
Don’t reduce your transsexual woman to a face and a body. She is an amazing personality in her own right. So, learn to appreciate her in a more wholesome way.
Transsexual women are mentally evolved creatures. Her respect and admiration for a guy would increase manifold when she sees that he is taking an interest in her mind and intellect. So, if you’ve just started dating someone through a trans girl dating site or a trans woman dating site, get to know her first. Try to strike an engaging conversation and then complement those unique personality traits of hers.
If you just started dating a trans woman or you just started talking on a transsexual dating site, your first conversations are very important. You will have to get to know each other and start to realize if you are meant to be together or not. This can be a lot more difficult than it actually seems. So while you start talking with your match on an MTF dating site you should think good about the topics you touch.
Don’t Go Deep
You shouldn’t go too deep in the personal life of your potential lover from the first time you interact on a trans dating website. Ask them about their hobbies and what they are looking for in a man. And decide if you can meet their expectations in an honest way.
There is so much more to a relationship than physical attraction but your intimacy will also be very important. Once you decide that you can have common hobbies, you will be able to move forward to a new level in your relationship. As long as you stay honest and you are genuinely interested in your match, you will end up with a great relationship.
Know Your Boundaries
Don’t expect too much – Think that you go on a date just to meet a new friend with only this in your mind, “Who knows? He is the one!” If you have carefully assessed that the person is not what you want then just finish the date happily without regret.
Set your time to a minimum – Don’t date the whole day. The excitement to see you again will be lost.
Leave – If your date shows rudeness to you then why continue? Walk away with head’s up high.
Enjoy the Date
In a nutshell, you need to have some knowledge about what transsexuality is before dating a transsexual woman. Some quick online research would help you have a basic understanding of what being transgender really means. When you understand certain concepts, such as gender dysphoria, you will be more than ready to date a trans woman.
When it comes to a woman’s beauty, the face is the first thing we think of. Then, our mind wanders to the perfect, sculpturesque female form. Rarely do we think of something as obvious as hands. In reality, hands can be a sure-shot giveaway of a person’s grooming standards. While elegant and well-kept hands give the impression of a well-groomed woman, shabby and rough hands give the impression of a lady who is slovenly about her appearance. As a MTF transgender woman, it is very important to be particular about this aspect of your physical appearance. While you certainly can’t change the size and structure of your hands, you certainly can improve the texture and look. And doing that is no rocket science either.
Your hands require regular care and attention, just like the face and body. For a MTF trans woman, the care required is even greater because your hands might not be conventionally dainty or feminine. But you are a beautiful woman inside out. The beauty radiates through your face and shines in your soul. Your external appearance is just a mirror that reflects your beauty and hands are an important part of that look. It’s like completing a full circle. When your external beauty and internal beauty intertwine, the world is bound to notice your unique aura.
As a MTF trans woman, your hands are also a proud witness of the arduous journey you’ve undertaken.
This article gives you a few tips that would help you feminize your hands and make those more gorgeous and delicate looking.
Always Keep Your Hands Moisturized
Moisturize your hands regularly. This is the bare minimum essential for feminizing your hands. Even if we have normal skin, our hands tend to be drier than other body parts. Therefore, it is important to moisturize your hands immediately after a shower. You could use a good quality body moisturizer for the purpose or go for a hand cream. Many good quality brands these days offer excellent hand creams that have been formulated especially for the skin on your hands.
As a MTF trans woman, you want to leave no stone unturned in making arrangements for that special date with someone you met through a transgender dating site. But there are certain things about your appearance you can’t change. You cannot change the build of your hand but you can certainly make those softer and delicate with regular care. If you have had a difficult life full of challenges, it’s normal to have your hands go rough or coarse in texture. With regular hydration and moisture, you can improve the texture.
There are certain ingredients that work wonders for locking in moisture. If your hands are too dry and need extra attention, looks for creams and lotion that contain ingredients like shea butter and strawberry butter. The good old Vaseline petroleum jelly is also great for moisturizing hands! For extra moisture, use a thick hand cream or lotion at night before you go to sleep, and make sure you cover your hands with gloves later on. This will lock in the moisture while you are having your regular beauty sleep and you shall wake up to wonderfully soft hands.
Last but not the least, for any hand cream or lotion to work well, it’s important to stay hydrated. Make sure you drink at least 10-12 glasses of water every day and consume salads and fruits like papaya, watermelon, etc on a regular basis.
Natural Oils Should Be Your Best Friend!
Natural oils can work wonders for hand care. You can replace a hand cream or moisturizer with one or better still, use it in addition to these things. Natural oils like olive oil, coconut oil, sweet almond oil, and avocado oil can work wonders for your hands. Just massage your hands with a drop or two of one of these oils whenever you have time and you are good to go. Natural oils have an additional benefit over moisturizers in that they would increase blood circulation, making your hands look more healthy and vibrant.
Whether you are using moisturizers or natural oils or a combination of both, one golden rule to remember is that with hand care, more is always better! Our hands tend to get dry real quick as we use these repeatedly for a number of tasks every day. This makes them more prone to dirt and invisible bacteria, making the skin harsh and somewhat rough. It is therefore important to pamper your hands with these natural oils whenever you can steal a moment or two.
Go for Regular Manicures
For a MTF trans woman wanting to feminize her hands, regular manicures are totally worth it. If cost is an issue, you don’t have to go for over-the-top expensive ones. A basic manicure would do the trick. Going for a professional manicure has many advantages. The expert would get to know your specific concerns and customize a session accordingly. Regular manicures would not just keep your hands soft and supple but you would also get rid of any unwanted tan on your hands. Not to mention, it would ensure you always have those perfect nails.
A manicure is also a great option for a transgender woman who has a super busy schedule. A session at the parlour once a fortnight gets you sorted. It can also be a savior for emergency conditions. Let’s assume you met someone interesting through a trans dating site and the two of you are planning to go on a date. But your hands are not in the best condition at the moment. In such a scenario, a great manicure can give you an instant fix. This doesn’t mean that regular care and grooming of your hands is not needed but it can at least take care of that emergency situation.
Take Extra Care of Your Nails
Nails are a very important feature of a woman’s hands. Therefore, as a MTF trans woman, it’s important that you take extra care of these. A golden rule to follow is to avoid wearing your nails way too long or short. Keep experimenting with the length and with time you would find your ideal length. Nails that are too long look weird and are hard to manage as well. So make sure the length of your nails is just right.
While choosing nail polish, make sure it goes well with your skin tone and the general character of your hands. If you are not sure about what would suit you best, go for nude shades or lighter shades of colors like pink. Go for bright red nail polish by all means if you like but make sure you’d be able to pull it off.
The condition of your nails is also an important factor while choosing nail polish. If your nails are a bit unkempt and not in the best of condition, it’s safe to go for muted and low-key shades. Wearing bright colors would just draw more attention to the imperfection of your nails and you don’t want that.
Go for Hand Jewelry
The use of hand jewelry can give an ultra-feminine look to your hands. No guy could resist a set of soft smooth, well-manicured hands with trendy and chic hand jewelry. So a MTF trans women should definitely consider wearing bracelets and rings for feminizing their hands.
However, you have to be careful while choosing the right jewelry for your hands. Make sure you don’t go over top with hands accessories. You want to look beautiful and elegant, not bizarre and weird. It’s best to stick to just one or two simple pieces. If you wear too many rings, that would just draw even more attention to areas you are not very comfortable with.
The shape and build of your hands is also an important factor to consider while buying hand jewelry. Many MTF trans women already struggle with the issue of somewhat big hands so wearing delicate jewelry might draw even more attention to the size of your hands. Instead, go for hand accessories that are in sync with the size of your hands.
A chunky bracelet would be ideal for someone with big hands. The whole point behind wearing hand jewelry is to make sure the femininity of one’s hands is accentuated. Finally, the most important thing is to go for hand jewelry that suits your personality. Every personality has a distinct aura. Your makeup, dressing sense, everything should complement that aura. The same is true for hand accessories.
Finally, just be proud of yourself and the journey you’ve undertaken. As a MTF trans woman, your hands are a proud testimony to the many hurdles you’ve overcome through sheer willpower and determination. The difficult times are over. Now is the time to celebrate and pamper yourself. Just like your beautiful soul and indefatigable spirit, your hands deserve every bit of that pampering.
Face Feminization Surgery or FFS for short, is a facial reconstruction procedure used to give a masculine face a more feminine appearance. It encompasses a broad range of systems designed to alter typical male features bringing them closer to a characteristic female feature. Some of the masculine features developed include various bony and soft tissues such as brows, nose, lips, forehead, cheek, and jawline.
Features in the upper third of the face seem to be the most important, and various procedures such as brow lift, rhinoplasty, and cheek implantation are included in face feminization surgery. However, subtle changes in the lips, such as lip augmentation can have a significant effect.
What
to Expect in Face Feminization Surgery
Facial feminization surgery might include;
1. Forehead contouring: Bony ridge above women’s eyes socket is less pronounced. The outlines of the forehead tend to be higher, smoother, and more vertical. Part of forehead bone can be cut, removed, reshaped, and fixed back in place to achieve this look.
2. Eye and lid modification: Here, excess tissues are cut away from the upper eyelids.
3. Cheek Augmentation: This procedure is done to achieve the prominent round cheeks women have in the middle third of their face. Cheek augmentation can be performed by breaking and moving the cheekbones into a different position. A different way is by taking fat from a separate part of the body and placing it in the cheeks to alter its size and shape.
4. Nose Reshaping: This procedure involves reducing the size of the nose and its angles for transgender women.
5. Lip lift and Augmentation: This procedure involves the use of implants to achieve a typical shorter and more curled female lip.
Some other procedures to expect are; Mandibular angle reduction, Genioplasty, Tracheal shave, Lowering the hairline, and Hair transplantation.
Definitive results after this surgery might take up to a year to appear. Face Feminization Surgery can be an essential part of gender transition that can dramatically improve the quality of life in mtfs.