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TransSingle present a video of  Laverne Cox, a bright star, and transgender activist

So you’ve been active on a transgender dating site or ts dating app for a while and finally caught the eye of a trans woman. You chatted, truly enjoyed the back-and-forth, and feel a strong enough connection to take this to the next level.

Yet this is where things tend to get complicated. Online dating is already quite the challenge, but taking any relationship offline can prove daunting, no matter what gender you and your match identify as. The questions remain the same: When is the best time to suggest a real-life date, even at a safe distance if necessary? How can you be certain your potential partner feels the same? If you gathered the courage, how do you phrase your question?

Let’s assume that somehow, you did it. And congratulations, they said yes!

Now the real adventure starts. When you’re dating a transgender woman, you will face more – or rather, different – challenges on your romantic journey.

Your presence on trans dating sites indicates that you already know a bit about trans issues and the reality of transgender lives. However, if you are genuine in your interest when it comes to exploring dating a transgender woman, you will need to do your homework, as they say.

This homework includes research on several aspects of transgender life, including the harder parts and topics you, as a cis person (that is, a person who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth), might not have on your radar yet. The lack of true and practical information, which may be difficult to come by online if you aren’t entrenched in the community, further complicates your progress.

Fortunately, you have found this guide and thus a great starting point! If you have been wondering what it would be like to date a trans woman or if you have started dating one and need a roadmap to help you navigate the dynamics, the following information will be very useful.

Research and Reflect

Before you begin your search for a trans woman on any transgender dating site or ts dating app, you should take a bit of time to research and understand the various aspects of the transgender community.

Topics we recommend you explore if only on the surface, include but are not limited to: 

– What does trans/transgender mean? How does it relate to the concepts of intersex or the term transvestite?

– What is the difference between sex and gender?

– What are common gender stereotypes and how does the trans community work to dismantle them? What are gender nonconforming practices?

– What legal and medical ramifications are involved in being trans? What role do hormones play? What surgery options are available, and how difficult is it to access them? Who opts for surgery and why, who decides against it?

You do not need to spend too long doing this research before you will have successfully dispelled several myths about transgender lives.

Having at least a basic understanding of these concepts and questions will lessen the burden your future partner or date will have to carry. Just like it is not on people of color to educate their white friends on the realities of racism and ‘Life While BIPOC’, do not expect trans people to enlighten you. Some might be willing to, but the onus is on you to learn.

While doing this research, you might want to reflect on your own experiences. How do you experience your gender? What shaped it? What stereotypes do you maybe harbor? How does this affect the way you approach dating?

Dating a trans woman may not fit your preconceived ideas of dating a cis woman. We assure you, however, that it will be worth the effort you invest in opening yourself up for new experiences.

Avoid Transgender Talk During Your Dates

While you might be curious about your date’s history or details about their life as a trans woman, never make the mistake of delving too deep into the subject of transgender. Just as curiosity killed the cat, it could also kill any relationship potential that was budding between you and a trans woman. It is possible that the subject might pop up later, but in the beginning, it is better to err on the side of caution and steer away from potentially awkward subjects. Remember that, for most people, their gender is an intimate subject, and talking about it with anyone requires trust and feeling secure in the situation.

Even if she initiates the subject at some point, we recommend proceeding carefully. Be careful of boundaries and intrusive questions. However, when she expresses willingness to talk about transgender topics and her own journey, listen keenly and without judgment. Show that you appreciate the trust she places in you and proves yourself worthy of this trust.

First Impression Matters

How you meet the trans woman on your first date may make or break any chances you have of a long-term romantic relationship. Since yes, first impressions matter. Beyond the way you communicate, this also holds true for attire and clothes.

While not every female-presenting person in the trans community values fashion and spends ample time on styling themselves, putting an effort into one’s appearance is a form of self-care. If we feel comfortable in our skin, we will looser and more relaxed when meeting a potential partner for the first time.

You should complement this by putting effort into your dress and maintenance. You do not need to dress up to the nines – but make choosing an outfit an active and conscious choice. Select something that reflects you and your character, don’t ‘dress up’ or pretend you are something you’re not. Natural charm goes a long way and shows your date that you are genuine in your interest.

Be a Gentleperson

Some transgender women enjoy presenting even more feminine than their cisgender counterparts. Other trans women may act more genderneutral or be actively nonconforming and/or fluid. Regardless of how they present, be a gentlemanly date. Not in a condescending way, but from a place of deep respect.

Whether you are a cis man or a cis woman and about to date a transgender lady, you can be courteous. Chivalry, in the sense of pulling out chairs or opening doors, might have a very positive effect on your date. However, only do this if it fits your personality and style. As with clothing, there is no need to pretend you are something you aren’t. Engage your date in meaningful conversation, truly listen when she talks, and smile so that she sees you enjoy her company.

Be Prepared to Talk Politics

For many people in the transgender community, politics is an important subject. The government decides who can transition from one gender to another, whether or not there are gender options outside the binary of male and female, how easy access to hormones or surgery is, and how protected we are in our everyday lives.

While ‘Keep away from politics’ may be sound dating advice for some, when it comes to being active on a ts dating site, you should be prepared to engage in political debates.

This advice ties in well with the research homework you have been given already. Unless they know someone personally, most cis people are unaware of the legal aspects and challenges of being transgender. If you educate yourself, you will certainly impress your date by showing interest and communicating that you are genuine in your pursuit of dating a transgender woman.

When It Comes To Sex

… be patient. Taking one’s time is a good idea regardless of gender identity, since building a long-lasting relationship depends on so much more than sex.

For some transgender women, sex can also be a difficult topic. Not every trans woman had top and bottom surgeries, so do not assume you know what your date’s body looks like underneath her clothes. Once you have built a foundation of trust and you both feel comfortable in each other’s presence, you may certainly ask your date about their sex life. Share your own experiences, if you think it might help. Showing your partner that you are open to talking about intimacy will go a long way in making her feel respected and safe.

Communication is key here – never assume anything. Many trans dating sites offer the option to specify operation status and more, yet this does not mean every person experiences this the same. The wonderful thing about human sexuality is how varied and colorful it is. Explore with curiosity and an open mind. Don’t set yourself any expectations to meet, or signal your transgender partner that there is a certain way they have to perform in order to earn your affection. 

After all, you are dating a transgender woman from a place of love, on a quest for belonging and connection. Neither one of you is in this for a quick hookup - there are other ts dating apps for that.

While there are certainly more tips that will help you navigate the trans dating experience, this hopefully proves a useful guide and starting point. Now off you go, be brave, and make a move!

Transitioning isn’t easy. A trans person spends an incredible amount of their physical and mental energies in dealing with transitions. What’s worse is that it doesn’t change the perception of society overnight. Trans people are still vulnerable and victims of abuse. Considering all this, finding love as a MTF transgender woman can be a tricky proposition. But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. Love is a beautiful feeling and we all got to experience it. The journey might be challenging but it’s definitely worth it.

The paths of all lovers are strewn with more thorns than roses but in the end, it’s all worth it. As a MTF transgender woman, you got to be flexible and open-minded. Too rigid an approach doesn’t work with dating. While it is important to be cautious in order to keep all those creepy, transphobic people at bay, you shouldn’t be prejudiced against anyone from the outset.

This article offers a couple of valuable tips and suggestions that would help you in your quest for finding true love.

Ask Yourself, What Kind of a Person You Would Want to Date?

This is the first question you have to ask yourself when you are considering dating someone. What kind of a person you would like to date? Are you very particular about dating straight cis men? Or would you rather date a FTM transgender guy? It’s also about understanding your own sexual orientation and preferences. Would you be keen on taking things forward with a lesbian?

It is important to ask yourself these questions before you actually begin to date someone through friends or by joining a trans dating site. It’s good to be open to different kinds of people but you got to figure out where to start. It gets easier when you have some sort of an outline of your ideal partner. Otherwise, the process can get vague and baffling.

Some people are very specific about the physical characteristics of their ‘would be’ partners. It’’ like some women are obsessed with the idea of a tall partner while others have specific racial preferences. As a MTF transgender woman, it’s very important to draw out a basic mental sketch of the kind of person you would like to be seen out with.

Do Not Be Too Rigid in Your Criteria

While it’s important to have certain criteria for the kind of person you would like to date, it’s equally important to be open to new possibilities. Do not tick off anyone you are attracted to just because they don’t fit into those criteria. The attraction between two people is the most mysterious phenomenon of the universe. No one exactly knows what propels that attraction. It’s not about similar personalities or interests either. It’s just this instant connection and sparks which you either get with a person or you don’t.

So, while dating a MTF transgender woman has to give ample concession to those mysteries and surprises of nature! If you feel connected with someone, try and go with the flow. Of course, self-respect is one thing you should never compromise. If a person isn’t sensitive about ‘trans’ identity, you shouldn’t entertain them even for a minute.

Try Out Online Dating

If you still haven’t met that special person in your life, the reason could be you were looking in the wrong places. When we try to date people through friends or family or acquaintances, the chances of finding a like-minded partner are quite low. In this kind of dating, we have access to a fairly limited number of potential partners. So, either you compromise on some quality or stay single, it’s that kind of scenario. That is why a MTF trans woman should try out online dating.

Online dating can get you connected with so many interesting people from all across the world. It gives you a greater window of opportunities in terms of the kind of people you can date. And it’s not necessary that you meet each one of them. You just start online chatting with people who interest you and then further narrow it down to a couple of prospective partners. Online dating gives you the flexibility of buying time. If you like someone but are not sure yet about a relationship, there is no pressure to meet them in real life. You could take things at your own pace.

So, joining a transgender dating site is a good starting point. There are many such dating sites for trans people. It’s of course important that you do thorough research before zeroing in on a particular site. Read the reviews on the internet and also ask your friends from the trans community about the best dating sites for trans people. Always check the credentials of a site before getting registered.

Be Your Original Self

There is no point in trying to put up a façade to impress someone. It’s simply not worth it. A person who will fall in love with you would accept you with all your supposed inconsistencies and flaws. So never try to create an airbrushed image of yourself in front of someone.

As a MTF transgender woman, you are proud of your identity. You also have a unique personality and individuality. The way you express your femininity is totally your call. Do not feel compelled to adhere to stereotypical notions of femininity in order to prove yourself a woman. You already are a gorgeous woman. And if someone has to love you, they will do so just the way you are.

Confidence and self-esteem are very attractive traits in a woman. Your date would be drawn to you like a moth is to a flame if you stand your ground and create your own rules.

Be Honest with Your Partner

This is the most important aspect of any relationship. You have to be 100 percent honest with your partner.  They should have complete clarity regarding your gender identity. In fact, you should make it a point to tell your date everything about your ‘trans’ identity in the initial stages itself. As much as it is your right to have a partner who respects your identity, it is also your right to know your true identity.

If you hide such a crucial aspect of your life early on in the relationship, it would definitely create problems and conflict later on. Communicating your concerns to your partner and educating them about your identity would not only make your bond stronger but would also pave the way for greater acceptance of the transgender community within mainstream society. It’s possible that your partner knows little or nothing about the trans community. So, if you communicate with him on those lines, they will not just support you in your personal life but also highlight the cause of the LGBT community at a larger level.

Communicating your identity early on would also save you from a potentially ‘transphobic’ partner. So as soon as you start talking to someone through a transgender dating app and things begin to get serious, tell them clearly about your gender identity. While you certainly don’t want someone to get obsessed with you being a transgender woman and treat you like a fetish, you also don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t even accept your identity.

Have Realistic Expectations

A MTF transgender woman has seen a lot in life. During transitioning, she has literally been through a roller coaster ride. So, she obviously wants a partner who supports her in every possible way. But she also has to be realistic in her expectations.

If you are dating a cis straight guy who has never dated a trans woman before, you have to give him some time to get used to your identity. This is not to say that you should put up with a rude and insensitive guy. But if there is a cool and sensitive guy who is trying to understand you as a person, be patient with him. Do not expect him to champion the cause of the transgender community during the first couple of dates itself. That would be too much to expect. He is getting to know you as an individual so just go with that flow.

You have to also understand that you it can’t be always about you and your issues. A successful relationship is one that has a fine balance of priorities. Maybe, he has had a bad day at work or perhaps, he is just too tired. In such a scenario, if you start with your problems and woes the moment he drops in, he might not look interested. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he is rude or inconsiderate. He might be having his own issues. So, get involved in his life as well and have realistic expectations from the relationship. A great relationship is one that builds up gradually. So, take it slow, steady and be sensitive to the needs of your partner as well.

A MTF trans woman is a lady who was born with the male biological gender. That is, her body had physical and biological characteristics of a man so she was assigned masculine gender at the time of birth. However, she identifies herself as a female. She had the eerie feeling of being trapped in a male body for a long, a feeling that gave her a lot of anxiety and discomfort. She battled this on a daily basis till she finally decided to come out as a woman. And once she begins to come out as a woman, she might choose to undergo certain medical procedures to develop the outward appearance of the female gender.

Having said that, it is not easy to be a MTF trans woman in this society. Although things are way better than let’s say 20 years ago, they are still far from best. People now perhaps recognize the right of transgender people to live a normal life but accepting them is a different issue altogether. It is still difficult for trans people to find regular jobs. If they are in college or university, completing their education becomes a challenge for them.

A transgender woman goes through a lot of societal challenges once she comes out in the open. But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. These challenges can definitely get her on the verge of a breakdown. But with her characteristic courage, determination and confidence, she can overcome these challenges.

This article tells you about the main challenges faced by a trans woman and how to overcome these.

Struggle with Identity

A trans woman goes through an acute identity crisis for a long time. For every courageous person who has come out as a transgender lady in the public, there is a rather painful background story. She undergoes the most harrowing of identity crisis while growing up. The society judges her by the identity that is assigned at the time of birth. She has the biological characteristics of a man so she is expected to behave like a boy. She is supposed to adopt the typical mannerisms of a guy and socialize in a male pattern as she grows up. But all this gives her enormous distress. She feels like she is trapped in a wrong body and there is no one she can communicate this with. The parents come from the same society so even they might dismiss what she feels and just ask her to conform.

And that is the worst kind of struggle anyone can face. To have people tell you in your face that what you feel so deeply and truly is abnormal, nothing can be more painful than that. This identity crisis often gives rise to gender dysphoria.

All this can be really traumatizing and scary because if you are an adolescent, you can’t even take steps to undergo medical transitioning because you don’t have the finances plus you can’t take such decisions for yourself. That’s why many transgender people come out in the open later in life.

But you don’t have to let this identity crisis mark your life. If you feel like a woman trapped in a male body, speak to your family about it. They might dismiss you at first but if you persist, they will understand you and help you in your journey. If your family is hostile, confide in a friend whom you think understands you. In the meantime, you could get valuable information from a transgender forum and learn from other trans people's experiences. If it gets worse, you could seek help from any of the organizations working for the rights of transgender people. There are many such organizations active these days. A simple Google search will help you figure out how you can get help from one of these.

Struggle to Find Love

This is the common struggle many transgender women face. Once they come out in the open, the next challenge is to find love. Societal apathy makes it next to impossible for a trans woman to seek a partner the way a cis woman does. She can’t just walk into a party and strike a conversation with a guy she finds interesting. The guy might just turn hostile and even abusive the moment she reveals her identity, for all she knows.

So the best bet for a transgender female looking for love is to join a transgender dating site. These days there are many dating sites specially designed for the transgender community. These sites are relatively safer s compared to conventional dating sites. Also on these sites, the person you are talking to more or less knows that you are a transgender woman. In a conventional dating site, there is always that added risk of someone not knowing your identity even if you’ve categorically stated that you are trans.

A trans dating site also gives you the flexibility of communicating with different kinds of people from across the world. Your choices are not limited. If you were dating someone through family or friends, then you would have a limited pool of people to choose from. So this is an added advantage with online dating. Also, there is no pressure to really meet anyone. That’s the best part. You can go on chatting with different people for a long time till you finally decide to go on a date. And if you still feel uncomfortable about meeting someone, you don’t have to. There is no compulsion.

Finding love as a trans woman is definitely not easy but it’s very much possible. It takes all sorts to make this world. There are many wonderful guys out there. Meeting the right one at the right time is all about destiny.

Struggle with Work and Education

Most transgender people undergo some kind of struggle with work and education. This struggle is more acute in countries where the laws are mostly directed against transgender people. But even in countries where the law recognizes their rights, trans people face this problem.

For a trans woman, completing her education or keeping a job is a major challenge. That is why many transgender women keep on delaying medical procedures because they are scared of losing on education or work. There are many transgender women who are forced to lead double lives. They have to hide their identity at the workplace. They are forced to live out their real identity only in private or with close friends. That’s why it’s no surprise that many trans women just quit their jobs.

For a MTF transgender woman with no savings or little financial means, this can be a source of acute distress. Everyone has the right to earn their livelihood. But in case of trans people, even if the company doesn’t directly discriminate against them, there is so much apathy and transphobia at the workplace that they end up quitting anyway.

For a MTF trans woman trying to live a normal life post-medical treatment, all this can be very complicated. Even if she legally gets assigned the female gender after the gender reassignment surgery, she still faces problems.

The only way to address this is by creating more and more awareness around issues faced by the transgender community. Many people don’t even know what is exactly meant by the term trans. They probably confuse trans people with gays and lesbians. So firstly, a massive social movement is needed to educated people about the meaning and implications of the term transgender. Laws alone cannot bring changes. It’ only when cis people in schools, colleges and workplaces will become champions of transgender rights that things will begin to change for good.

Struggle with Conventional Notions of Femininity

This is a typical struggle that a trans woman undergoes. She has the pressure to conform to the conventional standards of femininity. Just feeling like a woman isn’t enough. She has to make sure that her dress, appearance, behaviour simulate that of a cis woman. She attends grooming classes, learns the art of applying makeup, and takes voice lessons to make her voice sound more feminine.

Somewhere, a trans woman has to find her own ground. She has to create her own distinct style and aura. Even all cis women are not the same. Some cis women are ultra-feminine whereas others are more tomboyish and carefree. So there is no sure shot manual to being a woman really. A transgender woman should feel free to embrace femininity in her own unique style. She should not get bogged down by the whole conventional baggage of femininity. Her essence is that of a beautiful woman. And her outward being should reflect that in its distinctive aura. 

Face Feminization Surgery or FFS for short, is a facial reconstruction procedure used to give a masculine face a more feminine appearance. It encompasses a broad range of systems designed to alter typical male features bringing them closer to a characteristic female feature. Some of the masculine features developed include various bony and soft tissues such as brows, nose, lips, forehead, cheek, and jawline.

Features in the upper third of the face seem to be the most important, and various procedures such as brow lift, rhinoplasty, and cheek implantation are included in face feminization surgery. However, subtle changes in the lips, such as lip augmentation can have a significant effect.

What to Expect in Face Feminization Surgery>>

Facial feminization surgery might include;

    1. Forehead contouring: Bony ridge above women’s eyes socket is less pronounced. The outlines of the forehead tend to be higher, smoother, and more vertical. Part of forehead bone can be cut, removed, reshaped, and fixed back in place to achieve this look.

    2. Eye and lid modification: Here, excess tissues are cut away from the upper eyelids.

    3. Cheek Augmentation: This procedure is done to achieve the prominent round cheeks women have in the middle third of their face. Cheek augmentation can be performed by breaking and moving the cheekbones into a different position. A different way is by taking fat from a separate part of the body and placing it in the cheeks to alter its size and shape.

    4. Nose Reshaping: This procedure involves reducing the size of the nose and its angles for transgender women.

    5. Lip lift and Augmentation: This procedure involves the use of implants to achieve a typical shorter and more curled female lip.

Some other procedures to expect are; Mandibular angle reduction, Genioplasty, Tracheal shave, Lowering the hairline, and Hair transplantation.

Definitive results after this surgery might take up to a year to appear. Face Feminization Surgery can be an essential part of gender transition that can dramatically improve the quality of life in mtfs.