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Be Proud of Your Identity

You have to accept yourself before other start accepting you as a man. Societal discrimination and apathy are a part and parcel of transitioning. Do not let that intimidate you. You have to tell yourself that it’s perfectly normal to identity with a gender that is different from the one assigned to you at birth time.

Once you are comfortable with your identity, it’s important to go even a step ahead and celebrate it. Remember that you are unique and different. And it’s the habit of society to criticize everything that is unique and out of the box. But once they realize how valuable that thing is, they get crazy about it. That’s the way society works. So, once you start becoming proud of your identity and begin to revel in it, societal apathy will mean nothing to you.

People who are trying to make you conscious will shut up because you are not getting conscious! Accepting yourself is the first step in your journey of transition from female to male.

Begin Your Transformation by Coming Out

People in your immediate circle need some time to get used to the male you. Your new life as a male might be unexpected for your friends and family, even if they support your decision. So, start by coming out as soon as you can. Take folks who are close to you into confidence. Tell them clearly about your newfound identity and the life you are going to live from now on.

This might be difficult because you might have a family that has issues with your identity. You are probably scared that they will not accept this. Well, you have to learn to be a bit tough here. It’s your life and your choice. You can try and convince your family for sure but you have to be willing to go solo. For someone who has a woman’s body biologically, declaring that from now on, they are going to live and behave like a man in front of their family is not going to immediately get them the understanding they deserve.

Your family might be even hostile to you when you come out in the open. So be prepared for anything. It is very important to have a set of people who genuinely support you and your identity. These people will become a bridge between you and society. They can be your friends, relatives, family members, anyone.

But it’s important to come out in the open with your identity because even after your transformation, your friends and family will take time to get used to the new you. Social acceptance will be a slow process. You have to just keep going on. Do not be disheartened by temporary troubles or roadblocks. As long as you are consistently embracing your new life as a male, it’s all good.

Start Dressing and Behaving Like a Guy

This is a very important component of your transitioning. Even if you are mentally prepared to undergo a transition and have come out in the open, it can be very difficult to discard those old mannerisms you have been so used to.

You feel like a guy. You know it in your heart that you are a man. But if you continue to dress in women’s clothes, people around you would obviously not accept your masculinity. So, it is important to change your outward appearance too.

Begin to dress in men’s clothes. Start observing the behaviour of guys around you. Pay attention to their facial expressions, body language, the way they walk. These little cues will help you learn how to project a masculine image.

The internet too can give you a lot of information on how to incorporate masculinity in your day-to-day behaviour. For buying men’s clothing, check out what other guys on the street are wearing. And then pick clothes that would suit your appearance and build and would highlight your masculinity.

You might feel a bit awkward at first but if you keep at it, you will soon get used to it. And there will come a time when behaving like a man will come naturally to you. It won’t seem like you are acting or trying too hard. You already felt like a man in your heart. But with time, you will automatically start behaving like one externally as well.

Look for Professional Help

Your physical transformation is a very important part of transitioning. Of course, whether you want to undergo a medical transformation or not is totally your call. But if you are constantly anxious about not looking like a man enough physically, then surgery can help you get rid of that confusion.

You should first consult a therapist who would help you figure out the emotional and psychological problems you might be going through. The idea of transitioning from female to male can throw anyone’s mind into chaos and confusion. It’s a difficult state to be in. Your body is craving for an identity that is different from the biological identity assigned to you at birth. All this can get very complicated for your mind. So, a therapist will help you with the emotional and mental aspect of your transitioning.

Then you should look for a reputed and professional doctor who can offer you the best advice on the probable route you should follow for physical transformation from a female to male.

Two-spirit is a gender that is found in only North American who fulfills one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many Native Americans and Canadian First Nations indigenous groups. The mixed gender roles encompassed by the term historically included wearing the clothing and performing the work associated with both men and women. This English term emerged in 1990 out of the third annual inter-tribal Native American/First Nations gay/lesbian American conference in Winnipeg. 

A direct translation of the Ojibwe term, Niizh manidoowag, "two-spirited" or "two-spirit" is usually used to indicate a person whose body has a masculine spirit and a feminine spirit. The term can also be used more abstractly, to designate the presence of two contrasting human spirits or two contrasting animal spirits (which, depending on the culture, might be Eagle and Coyote). Will Roscoe writes that male and female berdaches have been "documented in over 130 tribes, in every region of North America, among every type of native culture."The term berdache was coined by western anthropologists and used until the late 20th century, mainly to describe feminine Native Americans assigned male at birth. 

The term is however inaccurate and can nowadays be considered offensive. Non-natives who use this identity are often accused of "appropriating Native culture." The history of two-spirits among Indigenous American culture dates back thousands, of years and has been documented in more than 130 North American tribes. Throughout history, a person who was recognized as two-spirit was someone who identified with both male and female gender roles, and so two-spirit is essentially a third gender recognized in Indigenous cultures. 

The perspective among Indigenous Americans was that having this third gender was a strength their society benefited from. In the Zuni culture, a person's gender was not assigned at birth but was grown into 3 or 4 years of age. Two-spirits were not thought of as just a man or just a woman but as embodying characteristics of both genders in a single person, making them a more whole human being.

This Two-Spirits encourages the belief that, by avoiding the pressures surrounding an individual, they are capable of establishing their own identity. This identity for native Two-Spirit individuals arises from an acceptance of their native cultural values and a rejection of Western values. This rejection specifically applies to Western conventions regarding race and sexual identity as the Two-Spirit person’s identity is maintained by their sexual orientation as both male and female and their commitment to their culture or ethnicity.

Awareness of multiple genders and sexual orientation has recently taken a limelight in the media, however misconceptions and stereotypes still linger because of this. Before we start to dive into this subject matter, it is important to know simple terms such as gender, intercourse, and sexuality. Gender is what people feel within themselves, according to cultural understandings. Such as girls are soft and compassionate, whilst men are less so. intercourse is a biological term which directly refers to the genitals one was born with. Sexuality is whom one is attracted to sexually and emotionally. This may or may not align with their gender.

Gender fluid is an identity that seems to be regularly mistaken. Gender fluid refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities. It is a gender identity which can be described as a mix of boy and girl. A person who is Gender Fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders but may feel more boy some days, and more girl other days.  Being Gender Fluid has nothing to do with which set of genitalia one has, nor their sexual orientation. It is solemnly as what they feel like inside, and gender fluid people never seem to stick with a single gender identity.

Many celebrities consider themselves genderfluid, such as Miley Cyrus, Tilda Swinton, DJ Ruby Rose, and Andrej Peji?. Standards for each gender has been ever evolving, from more intense beliefs, to sneaky yet still beliefs.

One of the main misconceptions for people who are gender fluid is that their gender is nonexistent, however, an individual who is gender fluid experiences a constant shift between the gender spectrums. There are some people who fall under the Trans spectrum that do not feel dysphoric about their gender, but it is well known that most do. Gender Dysphoria is a feeling of your physical body not matching up with how you feel internally that it should be. Many people would describe the feeling of dysphoria in many different ways, though all of the ways that it is described make it clear that it is a negative feeling.

Many people who are gender fluid will date bisexual or pansexual people, those who are attracted to two genders or are attracted to people no matter what gender they are. Some people who are gender fluid will use pronouns other than he/him or she/her. Some will use the gender-neutral they/them, or another term that they choose and use regularly. Along with different pronouns, sometimes they will use gender-neutral terms for themselves while dating. Instead of having their significant other calling them their boyfriend/girlfriend, they will term such as “date mate” or even a term as simple as “partner” or “significant other”.

Many people who are gender fluid will often dress and appear as unisex or androgynous, though in some cases they will decide to mix objects that most would place within gender categories. A good example of that would be someone who decides to wear masculine appearing clothing, with makeup or another part of themselves appearing feminine.

It is recommended that when coming across a genderfluid person, that you politely ask what pronouns they would like to be referred as. Some people who experience fluid gender don't use the word "genderfluid" for themselves. Some people with fluid genders call themselves by a word such as genderqueer, bigender, multigender, polygender, or other words. This can be because the people haven't seen the word "genderfluid," or it can be because they don't think it describes them well. It's important to understand that each person has the right to decide what to call their gender identity and that they're the only one who can do that.

Some genderfluid people find that their environment does not influence their gender identity to change. They find that their gender fluidity is unpredictable and happens randomly. Other genderfluid people find that their gender changes depending on the situation, and is influenced by inside or outside sources. For genderfluid people who think their changes in gender might have to do with their menstrual cycle, they think it might be caused by how the natural hormone levels rise and fall during that cycle. It’s possible that a person might think that they tend to feel male during their periods even if that’s only rarely the case for them because the incongruence of that situation would feel noticeable and memorable.

The biggest thing to keep in mind for both sides of a relationship with someone who is gender fluid, whether that relationship is platonic or romantic, is being honest with each other about who you are and what you are looking for. Being open with a significant other can really be better for both people involved than one might think.

Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.

What exactly is confidence?

Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:

 – Self-efficacy:

Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

 – Self-confidence:

Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.

 – Self-esteem:

While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.

Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.

Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?

Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.

As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.

So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.

Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again. 

Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.

While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.

Be a Friend to Yourself

Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.

When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.

Remember and Celebrate Your Successes

Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.

These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.

Remove Things That Bring You Down

Out of sight, out of mind –  this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.

Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.

Smile At Yourself In The Mirror

Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.

Improve Your Posture

Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.

Do Not Compare Yourself To Others

Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.

Take Risks

There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.

In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!

Be Persistent

At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.

On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.

Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.

If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to. 

If you're a transgender person, don't avoid seeing a doctor out of fear of a negative encounter. Instead, look for a doctor who is empathetic and respectful of your specific needs. By doing so, your doctor can help identify ways to reduce your risk of health concerns, as well as identify medical conditions and refer you to specialists when necessary. Once you're talking to your doctor, be honest. Share your gender identity. Tell your doctor about any medicines you take or have taken, any surgeries or procedures you've had, and any associated complications or concerns. Talk about any stress, discrimination, anxiety or depression you're experiencing and how you cope. Also, tell your doctor if you're sexually active. The more your doctor knows about your health history, the better the doctor will be able to help you. 

• Get screened

Let’s begin by clarifying that there is nothing like ‘not trans enough. If you feel like a woman, then that’s it really. You don’t need to strictly match the physical characteristics of a particular gender in order to belong to it. If you choose to undergo a medical procedure to develop the external attributes of a cis man or a woman, that’s totally your choice. But these external physical characteristics don’t define your identity.

If you are a trans woman, it’s the essence of femininity you carry in your heart. How you express it externally is your choice and prerogative. Similarly, if you feel like a man, you are a trans man. And you don’t need to go to ridiculous extents in order to conform to stereotypical standards of masculinity.

Transgender individuals often suffer from what is commonly known as ‘imposter syndrome. To put it simply, they feel that they do not quite fulfill the expectations of the identity that they are claiming and feel that they don’t deserve to belong there. They feel as if they are wrongfully claiming someone else’s identity. Imposter syndrome can lead to a lot of negativity and depression in a transgender person. They spend too much time thinking about their imagined inadequacies and deficiencies rather than just living life and being happy.

It becomes like a vicious circle in which all their focus is on how to match the societal expectations of a typical man or woman. In the process, they forget their unique identity and are always under undue stress to conform.

This article tells you about a few ways in which you can overcome the ‘imposter syndrome’ as a trans person.

Fall in Love with Yourself

Self-love is the most important step towards combating imposter syndrome. If you love yourself, you are too busy to think about other peoples’ opinions of your personality or way of life.

When you are seeking love through a trans dating site, you are seeking validation from someone. You want someone to like you and adore you. In the process, their opinion becomes so valuable to you that it can make or break your day. This is not to say that you should give up on dating! Of course, you should seek out a partner for romantic love. That’s a basic necessity of life. But at the same time, this should not become the be-all and end all of your life.

Fall in love with yourself. Make your personal well-being the most important project of your life. Constantly set short-term goals for self-improvement. For example, challenge yourself to lose 3-4 kgs of weight in a month. Set a goal to take greater care of your skin and improve your skin health in a certain stipulated time frame. If you hate a particular type of exercise routine, motivate yourself to go for it.

Once you start treating your personal well-being like a project, you won’t have time left for anything else. And all the negativity will just vanish.

Work On Your Self-Confidence

Confidence is the biggest asset anyone can have. There are people who are not so good-looking or competent but they have such high levels of confidence that you are spellbound by them. When they walk into a room, they can make everyone look at them just by the virtue of their self-confidence.

As a transgender person, have faith and confidence in your abilities. Even if your dressing isn’t that perfect, your voice isn’t that deep and baritone like as a trans man, people will ignore all these things if you are confident. When you walk into a room, have a subtle but convincing smile on your face. Always look into the eyes of people directly while talking. When you are listening to someone, your body language should signify interest. When you are in a social setting, take the initiative to strike a conversation. All these things speak of an impressive level of self-confidence.

Confidence helps you score high even when it comes to dating and relationships. When you are chatting with someone through a transsexual dating site, you got to know how o build their interest and take things further. A person with self-doubt and hesitation will just say some awkward things and then they won’t know what to say next. But a confident person would take the initiative to start and conversation and then follow it up with even more interesting anecdotes and stories.

Cultivate the Trait of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking sounds easy. It means to think positively so it’s easy, right.  But in reality, it’s a challenge to think in a positive manner. As human beings, our thinking and feeling patterns are predisposed towards reacting more strongly to negativity rather than positivity. Think about it. How many times do you really react to some positive news stories like some great discovery or invention, some great advancement in the field of medical science, etc? It’s also hard to find any positive news. Generally, we are surrounded by negative news all the time – bomb blasts, accidents, corruption scandals, and all that.

So as a transgender person, you have to cultivate the habit of positive thinking. When you get up in the morning, tell yourself every day that how it’s going to be a beautiful day and you look forward to it. Remind yourself of all your achievements and the good things you’ve accomplished for yourself and others.

Develop empathy. It’s amazing how empathy for others can result in an improved self-image and positive thinking in general. If you see an elderly person on the road struggling with their bags, make an offer to carry those for them. Make it a general habit to be more aware of your surroundings and help people whenever you can. This will surely open up your eyes to all that is good and positive inside you and outside of you.

Get to Know More About Various Trans Icons

One way to overcome ‘imposter syndrome is by getting to know more about various trans icons. Transgender people are making their presence felt in every field, be it cinema, art, entertainment, fashion, sports, politics, law, media, or any other area. Read up about various trans icons. Their positive life stories will certainly inspire you. You will learn about the importance of being original and unique rather than blindly following standards set by society.

Be Connected with the Transgender Community

It’s great to be connected with the wider transgender community. You could join a ‘transgender forum’ online and communicate with other trans individuals. You could also join a local group that takes up transgender issues and participate in their meetings.

This is a great way to expand your social circle, make some great friends and be more aware of your own identity in the process. When you are constantly in touch with other trans people and are regularly sharing experiences with them, you are less likely to doubt your identity.

Concentrate On Your Professional Goals

This is a great way to keep negativity and depression at bay. As a transgender person, it’s very important that you focus on your professional goals. When you are struggling with so many issues and trying to live out an identity that society is constantly trying to negate, it’s understandable that your professional life will suffer. But if you stay determined and concentrate on your professional goals, this can be therapeutic for your personal life.

Just as you set various goals for your personal life, do the same for your professional one. If you are in a field of work where one constantly needs to update their knowledge, take regular refresher courses. If there is a particular aspect of your work you need to improve, concentrate on that. Also, focus on your communication skills since these are very important for work.

As you focus more and more on your professional goals, your mind will become more rational and organized. And you won’t have any time or inclination for negativity or irrational thoughts.

Educate Others About Trans Issues

Give yourself the task of making your friends, family, and colleagues more aware of transgender issues. Talk to them, get to know their thinking, and then give them your perspective. Society has a lot of misconceptions about trans people. And a lot of these stereotypes exist because there is no awareness enough. This kind of brainstorming will help in creating that awareness.

Many transgender individuals are in a state of constant self-doubt about their identity because of societal stereotyping and expectations. Society knows little or nothing about trans people. So they try to fit into the binaries of male or female as defined by society and get anxious in the process. So it is important for every trans person to educate those known to him about trans issues. This will slowly lead to a change at the level of society and also strengthen his/her sense of identity as a trans man or woman.