Your dressing sense goes a long way towards people creating a certain image of you. It sounds clichéd but it’s true. Saying that you are essentially the clothes you wear would be probably going too far! But still, the clothes you choose to wear define your personality. As a FTM transgender guy, you can use your fashion sense to your advantage. The way you dress is very important for projecting a strong male image.
You are out there in the open now, eagerly waiting for the world to embrace your beautiful manhood. And that world, in evaluating your charisma as a man, is going to constantly check out what you are wearing.
However, the whole experience of buying men’s clothes can be intimidating for a FTM transgender guy. It’s a whole new experience for you. If you have a small body or big hips for instance, then you would think finding the right male clothes that would fit you well is even bigger a challenge.
But with a few tips and tricks, you will be ready to embrace your masculine self! And not just get by but perhaps come out with flying colours!
Buy Clothes that Fit You Well
This is the most basic and common-sensical tip for anyone. But still, people fail to follow this simple adage.
Many FTM transgender guys commit the cardinal sin of buying baggy, oversized clothing. They have the perception that bigger and looser clothes would somehow make them look bulkier and more manly. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Clothes that literally hang on your body just make you look boring and old.
So, it is important to buy clothes that fit you well. Not too tight but not overtly loose and baggy either. It has to complement your body.
This becomes even more important while you are shopping for jeans or trousers. Jeans too tight on the waist would look awkward and would also make you immensely uncomfortable while you are sitting down or simply moving around. Jeans too loose would also be totally unflattering to your body.
Well fitted clothes give the impression of a confident personality. As a FTM transgender guy, it is super important to appear confident and articulate. On the contrary, ill-fitting, baggy clothes give the impression of someone who doesn’t take care of themselves.
Remember that as a FTM transgender guy, perception goes a long way towards people accepting you in your manly image. And well-fitted clothes help create that perception.
Do not be Conscious about Your Size
Do not stress over your body supposedly not fitting a generic male body parameter. Rather, dress according to your body type and you are bound to look good.
If you have a somewhat smaller body, do not get conscious of it. Just look for clothes in the boy’s section. Well-fitted clothes give the impression of a fit, toned body, irrespective of one’s body size. So, if you are very small size, do not get obsessed with getting bigger. Just find the right clothes that complement your body type.
If a FTM transgender guy has bigger hips that can also become a cause of concern while shopping for male apparel. Men’s trousers usually don’t have room for big hips. But it’s not impossible to find one that would sit well on your hips. So, no matter what, do not get conscious about your size. Always buy clothes that fit you well, even if that involves putting in a bit of extra hard work!
Just remember that if you buy trousers with the right cut, you can minimize the appearance of a heavy waist. Taper cut pants are also a suitable option for a FTM transgender guy with larger thighs.
Yet another trick is to move a size or two up with the waist but opt for a trend like skinny fit. This would make the trousers sit beautifully on your legs while hiding your waist.
So, whether you are a small guy or unusually big by general standards, do not get nervous and do not lose confidence. There are all sorts of sizes available these days. As long as you don’t get obsessed with the idea of forcefully trying to change your size or body type, you will be fine.
Your Clothes Should be Your Personal Statement
Now, everyone is unique. And that is precisely why no two people look the same, even if they have put on similar-looking clothes! As a FTM transgender guy, do not feel compelled to copy the fashion choices of cis guys or anyone else, for that matter. Create your own fashion statement.
Have fun with what you wear. If you like colours bring on the blues, reds, pinks, whatever! If you are enamoured by anime, video games, let your t-shirts showcase that side of yours. You don’t have to resign yourself to wearing boring whites and greys just because you want to project a certain male image.
As a FTM transgender guy, you are certainly projecting a male image. But one that’s uniquely you. And the man who is not afraid of being himself takes up his sexiness quotient by a few notches!
So just remember that your sartorial choices should be an extension of your personality.
Use Clothes with Patterns to Your Advantage
Now, this is a practical necessity. As a FTM transgender guy, it is important to hide or camouflage any bumps on your chest. So, you have to super careful while wearing t-shirts with patterns or stripes.
A golden rule to follow in this case is: the more random or asymmetrical the pattern is, the better it is. A random or asymmetrical pattern with help you camouflage the bumps in your chest area better. When the pattern is not symmetrical, the human eye gets somewhat confused. Such a pattern would then not draw overt, exclusive attention to your chest area.
So, buying clothes with patterns is great. But you have to be careful as to what kind of patterns are these and if you can use the design to camouflage any bulge on your chest.
Check Out What FTM Trans Icons are Wearing
Now, this is an exercise that can be both fun and inspiring! You can check out the profiles of FTM trans icons on social media sites like Instagram and check out what they wear, how they carry themselves.
As a FTM transgender guy, following a celebrity who has probably had the same share of struggles as you can be a major confidence booster. There are times when we need role models to fall back on not because we are not sure of ourselves but simply because we perhaps need a new perspective to look at our own self.
Identity crisis is more common in transgender people than we think. When a trans man comes to grips with his new identity and starts the process of transitioning, it can be a tough road ahead. He might feel vulnerable, confused, exposed and even scared. It’s like embracing a whole new world. You know for sure that it’s your world but still, a number of conflicting emotions continue to haunt you. Before they figure out their real identity, this crisis is even more acute. A trans man is bewildered and exasperated because he doesn’t understand what could cause him such acute unhappiness and distress.
The fact that society doesn’t view transgender people in a great light doesn’t quite support your cause. In fact, it accentuates the agony and suffering of a trans man. The identity crisis that a transgender man typically goes through is known as gender dysphoria in medical jargon. Gender dysphoria refers to the psychological state when a person’s real gender identity is different from the one assigned to them at the time of birth. That is, their actual gender identity is different from their biological identity. Gender dysphoria is what makes many transgender people opt for medical transitioning in the first place. Post transitioning, gender dysphoria would gradually get resolved. But it doesn’t disappear overnight. A trans man might continue to experience dysphoria during transitioning and after it.
But there is nothing to be scared of when you face an identity crisis. With the right approach, a trans man can successfully defeat such a crisis.
This article gives you a couple of suggestions as to how you can cope with an identity crisis as a transgender man.
Recognize the Crisis
Human beings have a habit of evading issues. We often think that by pretending an issue doesn’t exist, we can get it out of our heads. But that is unfortunately not the case. A psychological issue will continue to haunt until it is resolved. For transgender men struggling with an identity crisis, it is imperative that they recognize the crisis first.
At such a time, thinking may seem like the last thing we want to do. But be courageous and try to figure out what exactly is happening. Is this crisis unique to you? Or have other members of the transgender community faced this crisis at some point in their lives? Ask yourself these questions. Do internet research to find out what is the exact name for this crisis. It is gender dysphoria and once you’ve figured that out, you will be in a better position to address the crisis.
Visit a transgender forum online and start a conversation with other trans men on that forum. Talking to like-minded individuals who are in the same boat as you are would give you a better understanding of your own situation.
Resolving the Crisis through Transitioning
Now, this is a fairly personal decision. But once a trans man has figured out that they are experiencing gender dysphoria, it is important to think of ways and means to resolve the crisis.
For many trans men, social transitioning might do the trick. That is, they begin to come out as a guy by confidently embracing the dressing style, body movements and behavioural characteristics of guys. Others might seek the route of medical transitioning. In fact, most transgender men do undergo some sort of medical transitioning. According to research, medical transitioning resolves the issue of gender dysphoria to a large extent. Through hormone therapy and other treatments, it makes a trans man’s biological identity almost similar to his gender identity, thus making it easier for him to date the opposite sex and socially embrace his new life as a man.
Identity crisis can pop up any time though. A trans man has to constantly deal with the apathetic attitude of society, bordering on hatred. This makes him vulnerable to such a crisis even well after transitioning. He finds it difficult to settle down his particular identity because society is constantly telling him the opposite. And this can make him question the gender identity of his choice again and again.
It’s a tough battle out there but the important thing is to just keep going and understand that the identity crisis is a temporary phase. You might feel like it’s the end of the world. But the good thing is you will come out even stronger and more awesome post this phase. So never give up on your identity and rights.
Consider Dating
As a trans man, dating and relationships are an important part of your life. We all need love. So, consider joining a transgender dating site to look for your soulmate. Dating is a great stress buster as well. Even as you are chatting with a number of prospective love interests online, it gives you something to look forward to. Dating creates immense positive energy and gets you out of the complex of self-doubt and anxiety.
Seeking out a romantic partner might seem like the last thing you want when you are undergoing an identity crisis but once you take the plunge, it can end your crisis for good.
It’s a psychological factor that indulging in pursuits that make us happy and relaxed automatically diverts our mind from negative things. It’s similar to the way exercise is great because it releases endorphins and keeps you away from depression and anxiety. Dating is certainly a great way to cope with your identity crisis. This doesn’t mean though that you are running away from the crisis. On the contrary, you are accepting the crisis as a challenge and fighting it out in your own way. Dating also gives you an opportunity to understand your own identity and sexuality in a better manner. It might even end your identity crisis altogether as love sometimes makes us quite sure of who we are.
Confide in Your Partner
This is for trans men who are already in a relationship. Do not try to hide those issues from your partner. On the contrary, you should tell them all about what you are going through. You spend the maximum time with your lover so they understand you rather well and are best placed to offer you advice.
The mere act of support from a partner can take your self-esteem a few notches up. Romantic love and attraction are an integral part of our gender identity. When your partner will reaffirm their faith in your identity, it will certainly work towards resolving your self-doubts.
Confide in Friends
Friends are no less than a soulmate. A good friend is the best thing that can happen to us. They are someone who gives us unconditional love and support without judgment or prejudice. A trans man struggling with identity issues should certainly communicate his concerns to close friends.
In times like these, nobody can comfort more than a friend. It might not resolve the issue but just talking to your best friend and opening up your heart to them would make you feel light and unburdened. It would take away some of your anxiety so that you can be in a better situation to understand your problem.
Seek Support of the Trans Community
The transgender community is a strong support network for LGBT folk struggling with different kinds of issues. It has been at the forefront of transgender rights and has been instrumental in bringing up legislation across the world that recognizes the transgender community and makes it easier for them to seek education and employment without discrimination.
A trans guy struggling with an identity crisis should certainly seek the support of the transgender community at large. You could do this both online and offline. You can join a transgender forum and interact with other members of the community. Bring up your issues in the forum and you would certainly benefit from their goodwill and advice. You could also become a part of the local trans community in your area. Do some research and find out if your city has an organization working in the field of transgender rights. Get in touch with them. Communicate your concerns. Some trans community groups also organize regular get-togethers and events. These are a great way of bonding with other members of the LGBT community and sharing your mutual concerns.
Consult a Medical Professional
This should ideally be your last resort. Confiding in your partner and friends and the trans community support network should help you resolve the crisis. But if the issue keeps on getting worse and it’s reached a stage where it’s interfering with your day-to-day life, consult a medical professional.
The medical professional will be more from a ‘mental health’ background. It will be like a counselling and mental therapy session. But again, here is a disclaimer. You shouldn’t be too optimistic about your problem being solved after seeing the professional.
Unfortunately, many medical practitioners are themselves prejudiced against the transgender community. They might try to talk you into accepting the gender identity assigned to you at the time of birth. It might even worsen your dysphoria because they will then essentially negate your experiences and identity, trying to tell you that it’s something abnormal or wrong. So, this should be your last resort.
Buck Angel is an icon of the transgender community. He born June 5, 1972, San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles, California and named Susan. Angle is an adult film producer, motivational speaker and founder of Buck Angel Entertainment. A transgender man, he received the AVN Award as the Transsexual performer in 2017. Buck Angel had not had any genital surgery and still had a vulva.
A short time later, Angel started concentrating on his physical appearance and scanned for a specialist that managed abdominal area adjustments, to expel his bosoms. Bottom surgery was another perspective he was hoping to change since he needed to acquire a natural penis to fit the male pattern. In any case, he immediately understood that there was not adequate innovation to make what he wanted. Blessed messenger bit by bit presumed that he didn't require a penis since it isn't what characterized him as a man. He figured out how to cherish his body, and he came to be happy with what he was given. Presently—following his new philosophy of the male body—he started a fiery regimen that comprised of five-days seven days exercises and of for the most part practicing good eating habits.
A trans man can get too preoccupied with the idea of society. Whether the society accepts him, what should he do in order to make other people appreciate him and love him; all these questions bother him incessantly. In the process, he forgets to love himself.
The first step to making anybody else admire you is to love and value yourself. It’s as simple as that. But still, we look for recognition at all wrong places, changing ourselves beyond recognition; even torturing ourselves just to get the approval of other people. But it’s like a vicious circle. We don’t get anywhere. We get trapped in multiple images we have created of ourselves for the world to see. But none of these images match the real us. We have forgotten to love own self in the process.
It’s important for a trans man to break through those barriers of negativity that he has built all around himself. He has to stop seeing himself from the lens of so-called society. A transgender guy has to embark on a very personal inner journey, one that makes him connect with himself, one that makes him see his self in all its glories and follies and then loves it to the core.
Everybody gets enamored by narcissistic people. Why is that so? It is because we see in them a part of ourselves that we are almost scared to embrace. A bit of narcissism is good for all of us. As a trans guy, it also makes life somewhat less challenging for you. You deal with the practical problems of your life in a matter-of-fact way but you don’t let those build a wall of negativity around you. In other words, you stop seeing yourself in the light of others.
When you came out as a trans guy, not everyone supported you in that decision. Maybe, even your family abandoned you. These are some harsh realities of life you have to learn to live with. And you don’t have the courage to accept these realities until you learn to be compassionate with yourself. When your world is centered around your own being, your heart also expands. You forgive others willingly and just concentrate on the pursuit of your goals, ambitions, and happiness.
This article tells you about some ways in which you can love yourself.
Pamper Yourself
The first step to loving yourself is taking pride in your physical appearance and being. Pamper yourself. Take time out to relax. Go for solo holidays. Shop generously whenever you get time. If you have a particular hobby, make some time for it. Treat yourself like a prince. Exercise regularly and eat super healthy. It is a psychological fact that when we look in the mirror and see good results in terms of fitness, skin glow, etc, our entire being radiates with positivity and happiness. And we spread this aura all around.
Make a list of your best qualities
Now, you don’t have to literally make a list. But just think of your best qualities and tell yourself about them. Everyone has certain attributes. Some people are very kind and compassionate. Others have a great sense of humor. Some have a lot of patience. Others have the ability to think spontaneously in any given situation and make quick decisions. What are your special qualities? Think about these and then remind yourself every day about your best attributes.
This might sound very strange but it will fill your life with motivation and confidence. As a trans man, you spend too much time thinking about your identity and how the world doesn’t accept it and all that. In the process, you fail to appreciate yourself as an individual. Reminding oneself of their best qualities every day helps break the cycle of negativity. You will learn to see yourself in a new light. As a trans guy, your attention will be diverted away from the problems of your life to the unique aura and power of your own personality.
Never Hold a Grudge Against Yourself
We all have a tendency to blame ourselves for something or the other. If some decision in the past went wrong, we remember it all the time and spend our present in regret. As a trans man, you have to break free of these shackles of negativity. You are only human at the end of the day. Nobody is perfect. Even heads of state make the biggest of blunders. The only way to fix a past mistake is to learn a lesson and move on. Holding a grudge against yourself is just going to get you miserable.
Look at Everything in a Positive Light
Now, this one is tricky. How do you look at horrible and negative experiences in a positive light? It’s not easy but very much possible. Suppose you dated someone through a transgender dating site. You guys met and everything and when you thought it was going really well, the whole thing just collapsed. This has made you so sensitive and edgy that you are off the idea of dating. But if you choose to look at that experience positively, your whole life will change. You got saved the burden of a terrible relationship. Think of it that way. Had you been with that person for long, maybe it could have been worse. So you just saved yourself and your energy.
Life is like a roller coaster ride. But even from the worst of experiences, we learn something valuable. And these bad experiences make all the good things that follow totally worthwhile. Once you learn to see everything in a positive light, you would stop being bitter and harsh on yourself.
Never Let a Relationship Decide Your Self-Worth
This is very common with people in love. Their mood and emotions get totally dependent on the relationship. Not just that, their self–worth too is determined by their partner’s perception of them. If your partner is positive and encouraging, you are lucky. But if you get to be with someone who constantly finds faults in you and makes you conscious about everything, it’s not good. Such a person will pretend to love you, maybe they do love you in their own way but this kind of love will be toxic for your identity as an individual. To learn where to draw the line. A relationship should never determine your self-worth and self-esteem.
If you are with someone who constantly makes you feel bad about yourself, they cannot be the right person for you. So have the courage to make yourself a priority and just walk out. Love and dating are all worth it but not at the expense of your own self. Chat with like-minded people through a trans dating site. Get to know them. But don’t get obsessed with the idea of dating and relationships. It is definitely a very important part of your life. But don’t let your whole life revolve around it. And don’t let it affect your self-worth.
If a girl you thought very hot and good-looking turned you down, it’s not the end of the world. Just get over it. She probably didn’t deserve you. If you keep on obsessing with the hotness of women and think of yourself as inferior all the time, it will affect your self-image badly. But if you just think of yourself as awesome, then you’ll just forget about that girl and laugh it off. As a trans man, make yourself the center of your universe.
Build a Strong Connection With Your Inner Self
It is important to recognize your inner self and have a dialogue with it on a regular basis. This doesn’t mean a literal dialogue but you got to forge a connection with your inner self. Take some time out of your busy schedule during which you do absolutely nothing. When we are constantly doing something or the other, our head is constantly buzzing with ideas. This state of frenzied activity leaves us excited and overwhelmed. In order to recognize one’s inner self, it’s important to cease all this activity for a while and revel in nothingness. This is the time set for you to draw deeper into the recesses of your inner self. You will draw deeper into your intuitive energies and understand yourself better.
It is not a conscious activity you can undertake. This happens subconsciously if you just let yourself be. Set a time every day during which you distance yourself from all the drama and just be still. In the stillness of these moments, you will discover your inner self. Meditation is also a great way to stay connected with your inner self.
Once you make a strong connection with the inner being, the external disturbances and perception of people around you will cease to matter. As a trans man, your being will radiate with positive energy. Every day will be full of opportunities and beautiful things to come. Negativity will be offshore. It would be a blissful state of being.
It is completely normal for Trans Men do not want to get gender reassignment surgery for numerous reasons. This doesn’t mean you will have to look like a female for the rest of your life. Here are a few ways to make yourself look less feminine without having gender reassignment surgery:
Cutting Your Hair
Long hair is one trait generally associated with women and girls. So, if you want to look less feminine you should consider getting a haircut. The right haircut will highlight your face’s bone structure and make you look manlier. For the best haircuts, consult a barber or a hairdresser. These persons are trained in cutting hair and getting a botched haircut from yourself or a friend will make you look untidy or poorly groomed.
Binding Your Chest
Breasts are another trait associated with women and girls. If you want to look less feminine, they will have to go. But remember this is about looking less feminine without getting gender reassignment surgery. One way to reduce the appearance of your breasts is by binding them. There are many methods and tips available online for binding your chest but be careful not to choose any that may be harmful or may cause discomfort.
Getting a New Wardrobe
The right wardrobe can without a doubt make you look less feminine. Please note that this does not mean baggy pants, beanies, and oversized shirts. This simply means choosing the right kinds of clothes. Certain patterns on shirts can accentuate the bulge your breasts make, such as stripes, and should be avoided. Pleated pants and skinny jeans hug your curves and make you look feminine. Avoid those and opt for straight cut pants that will hide your bum and your curves. Trade in those flats and heels for sneakers, boots and male shoes. Accessories such as belts and watches can also make you look more masculine.
Packing
To be taken seriously as a man, you must have a bulge. This is the outline of your penis in jeans or shorts. Because you are not getting the surgery, you will have to improvise. Luckily, there are many underpants that come with built-in bulges and are designed specifically for FTM Transgender Men. You don't have to pack every day, but it certainly makes you look much more believable. You will have to decide if you want to hard pack or soft pack but this all depends on your environment. If you have a hard pack everywhere you will look like a pervert. So please bear in mind your surroundings and the people that will be around you.
Adapting Masculine Mannerisms
The way you walk, talk, dress, sit, stand or even eat can make or break your efforts to look less feminine. Men usually maintain good posture and sit with their legs open. They also walk tall, without swinging hips, with their shoulders back and heads held high. Certain phrases and terms of endearment are rarely used by men and should be avoided. Try to observe the men in your surroundings and mimic their movements and soon you’ll catch on to what society deems as “masculine behavior”. Making yourself look less feminine without getting “the surgery” is not entirely difficult and if done properly, no one will be able to tell the difference!