People are very good at reading body language. They can tell whether you are confident in yourself or if you are tense and nervous just by looking at you. Additionally, male and female body language has some distinct differences in style. As a result, it is important to know what kind of body language is attractive as an FTM transgender male. If you understand and practice attractive body language techniques, you will not only build your confidence but also enjoy an unrivaled masculine image.
Understanding what constitutes as male body language and knowing the influence it has on other people can be very advantageous, particularly when you are dealing with women. If you want a woman to find you irresistibly attractive, then you must know how to project attractive male body language. However, it is worth mentioning that body language is only part of the equation. You must also develop an attractive personality. Below are some tips that will teach you how to display an attractive male body language.
Have Good Posture
Although it may sound cliché, good posture is the first step to having attractive male body language. As an FTM trans guy, it is important to have a good body posture because it creates an aura of confidence around you. There is nothing more obviously unattractive than terrible posture. Slouching as you walk and sit will only show people that you do not have confidence. On the other hand, walking around with an elevated chest and shoulders back will certainly make you feel and look more attractive and manly.
Slow Down Your Movements
Men that display attractive body language are sure of themselves. Their body movements are often precise and calculated. As an FTM transgender male, you should also try to act like this. You should slow down your body movement, as this makes you look more confident and natural. Try to make your movements smooth and graceful. This does not mean you should walk like a tortoise. It simply means avoiding running around like a headless chicken.
Eye Contact
A key aspect of good body language for both men and women is eye contact. When conversing with other people, proper eye contact is one of the main things they will immediately notice. To be an alpha male, you need to know how to maintain proper eye contact with those you are talking with. Additionally, this will certainly get you more points when conversing with women. Looking down or averting your eyes when conversing with a lady will reveal a lack of confidence. On the other hand, never blinking or holding eye contact for too long can make your partner feel uncomfortable. You should learn the difference between staring and maintaining proper eye contact. Coupled with a smile, good eye contact will help you project attractive male body language.
How often have you seen someone exuding confidence and thought to yourself, I wish I could feel like that? Walking about feeling safe and secure in your skin, being certain of your place in the world, and your identity as an FTM transgender individual – if that seems out of your reach, you aren’t alone.
Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.
What exactly is confidence?
Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:
– Self-efficacy:
Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
– Self-confidence:
Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.
– Self-esteem:
While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.
Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.
Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?
Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.
As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.
So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.
Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again.
Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.
While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.
Be a Friend to Yourself
Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.
When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.
Remember and Celebrate Your Successes
Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.
These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.
Remove Things That Bring You Down
Out of sight, out of mind – this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.
Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.
Smile At Yourself In The Mirror
Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.
Improve Your Posture
Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.
Do Not Compare Yourself To Others
Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.
Take Risks
There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.
In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!
Be Persistent
At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.
On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.
Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.
If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to.
If you are a FTM transgender guy looking for love, you got to check out a trans dating site or a transgender dating site. Once you’ve figured out which transsexual dating site serves the best purpose for you, the next step is to then get registered on that site and start communicating with potential love interests. As a trans guy, you are also vulnerable to threats and abuse online. In order to address this issue and have a secure internet network, you must consider looking for the best VPN service around. A Virtual Private Network service can ensure a fully private connection.
Being a FTM transgender guy is not that easy. Transitioning is such a challenging process and it saps so much of your physical and mental energy. While you are transitioning and even after that, your mind is preoccupied with the procedure. It’s like you whole word has turned down upside down. You are excited, confused, exhilarated, euphoric, scared, everything in one go. It is natural that when your mind is a site of such conflicting emotions, it is difficult to give your 100 percent to dating and relationships. But that aspect of your life is also important. Everybody needs a partner for their physical, mental and emotional fulfilment.
As a FTM transgender guy, it is important to keep certain things in mind before you start dating someone. Whether you’ve met them through a trans dating app or a trans dating app, it’s important to make sure that your concerns about your own life trajectory do not interfere with the course of your dating and relationship.
Here are a few tips that will help you navigate the complex waters of dating and a relationship as a FTM transgender guy.
Do Not Let Your Transitioning Process Overtake the Relationship
For a FTM transgender guy, transitioning is mentally and physically demanding. It can be very intense and can leave him with little or no energy to concentrate on anything else. But he has to be really tough and tell himself that his relationship is also a priority and he will give full attention to it even during transition.
A FTM transgender guy is very lucky if their partner is compassionate and understanding. But one cannot take undue advantage of that understanding. You have to realize that it cannot be always about you and your issues. A relationship works well only when it is about both individuals. Even during transitioning, spend quality time with your partner. Pay attention to their life, goals and achievements. All your conversations cannot be centred around the issue of your transitioning and identity. If that is your only topic of conversation, your partner will feel neglected at some point in time. And the whole relationship would become a drag and a burden.
So, create some boundaries and respect those. Maybe your partner had a super exhausting day at work. Maybe, they just need to relax a little and hear some kind and loving words from you. So be considerate of their needs and behave accordingly. Converse on some lighter topics to lift up their spirits. Just watch a movie together or listen to some music. Your partner has invested a lot in this relationship and they are as concerned about your transitioning as you are. But you have to remember that their needs and desires are also important.
So as a FTM transgender guy, just try to create that fine balance. Don’t get over obsessed with your transitioning woes. Have empathy and understanding for your partner, just like they care for you and your life.
Avoid Over the Top Masculine Behaviour
Some FTM transgender guys get really conscious about their masculinity. They want to fit as well as they can into the societal normative framework of masculinity and in order to do so, they often resort to stereotypical masculine behaviour. Resist the urge to do so.
Exhibiting over the top masculine behaviour like shouting at your partner or trying to dictate terms to them or refusing to do households chores can actually backfire and eventually ruin your relationship. Masculinity is attractive only as long as it is balanced and rooted in rationality. In this modern-day and age, nobody wants to be with a guy who is over-aggressive, ruthless and gets into a temper every now and then.
When you are in a relationship, it is equally important to lay bare your vulnerabilities. The tough guy act doesn’t always work. If you are overwhelmed, it’s alright to cry in front of your partner. If you have said something wrong to them or done something wrong, it’s alright to apologize. All these things will not make you any less of a man. On the contrary, your partner will respect and love you even more for being the kind and compassionate guy they always dreamt of.
Times are changing fast and so is the definition of a real man. A real man of the 21st century is gentle, kind, considerate and is not afraid to show his vulnerable side. He is as tough a soldier when it comes to protecting his partner or lover and taking care of them. But in his day-to-day demeanour, he is gentle and loving, not imposing. Once a FTM transgender guy understands all this, he will realize there is no need to resort to over-the-top masculine behaviour.
Join a Transgender Forum
A transgender forum is a valuable resource dedicated to the trans community. It has a lot of information and views on typical issues faced by transsexual people across the world. So, a transgender guy just about to start his dating life should definitely consider joining a transgender forum.
A transgender forum can also connect him with other members of the trans community. As a FTM transgender guy, you can always learn from their experiences. You can also read some specific articles on transgender dating written by experts. Alternatively, you could also go through a transgender blog that will again offer you valuable insights into the world of trans dating.
Before you join a transsexual dating site or a transgender dating app, it’s better to be equipped with some basic knowledge of how you should go about communicating with a potential love interest. The internet these days has a plethora of valuable resources that can be of valuable help to a FTM transgender guy looking for a potential date.
Communicate Your Concerns
Whether you’ve started seeing someone through a transgender dating app or a trans dating site, it is obvious that as a FTM transgender guy, you have some concerns. Feel free to share those concerns with your partner.
You have some emotional concerns with regard to how your partner perceives you, how they view your transitioning and if they judge you for being a FTM transgender guy. You might even feel awkward about sharing such concerns with your partner. But it’s absolutely fine. When you are in a relationship with someone, you have the full right to know if they are comfortable with your individuality and identity.
Unfortunately, society doesn’t judge transgender people very kindly. So, it is obvious that as a FTM transgender guy, you have some apprehensions about whether your partner is really comfortable with your identity. Just talk it out. Talking about these things will make your relationship even stronger. Or in the worst-case scenario, you will realize that you are not with the right person before you go too deep into the relationship. Both ways, you will benefit.
It is also important for a FTM transgender guy to communicate his sexual concerns to his partner before they decide to take the relationship to the next level. Tell your partner candidly about things that you are comfortable about and those that you are not so comfortable about in a physical relationship. If there are certain body parts you don’t like being touched, just tell them categorically.
Whether you’ve met someone through a transsexual dating app or a transgender dating site, it’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner before the two of you decide to go physical.
If It Doesn’t Work, Just Walk Away
Not all relationships are meant to work. Let’s accept it. Finding love often involves a series of hits and trials. So as a FTM transgender guy, if you’ve tried your best to make the relationship work but it still isn’t, then it’s perhaps better to quit.
Quitting can be very painful, especially if you have so many fond memories with the person concerned. But when a relationship turns toxic and abusive, there is no other way out. Some relationships start out very well but turn toxic down the road. There are others where you get warning signs from early on that this is not going to work for you. Whatever be the scenario, it’s better to just leave when you realize that a relationship is becoming a source of agony and pain for you.
At the end of the day, your peace of mind and mental health is most important. While a good relationship can do wonders for your emotional and mental health, a bad one can ruin you mentally. As a FTM transgender guy, you already have a lot to cope with. Maybe, you are still trying to sort things out with your family. Not all your friends have accepted your new identity yet. So in between all this mess, you really don’t want to suffer a toxic and abusive relationship. And you don’t deserve that either.
The life of an FTM Transgender Men can be very difficult, especially if they don’t pass as male. If you don’t pass as a male, going out in public can be overwhelmingly challenging and intimidating. When someone who is trying to be polite refers to you as “ma’am,” it can be detrimental to your efforts to embrace your masculinity. Below are some tips to help you pass as male in public. While these tips may not fix everything, they will at least decrease the chances of being referred to as “ma’am.”
Wear Clothes Made for Men
One of the easiest and simplest ways of passing as a male is by wearing male clothes. Unlike female clothes that are designed to highlight curves, men’s clothing tends to be straighter and hides curves. If your body is curvy, wearing male clothes can help you hide your curves. In particular, straight cut pants from the men’s department can help create a flatter behind.
You should try to dress more conservatively that you might have before. This will help you to avoid being mistaken for a lesbian. Simply choose a male image you want to project and cultivate a look to suit that image.
Even out Your Chest
The chest is one of the areas that gives many FTM Transgender Guys a headache. This is because it is very hard to pass as a male when you have a curvy chest. If your chest does protrude, you should invest in a good binder to flatten it. Binding your chest flattens it and gives you a masculine appearance. There are multiple types, so you must do some research and choose the binding methodology that suits you best.
As a side point, binding yourself tightly for too long might be harmful because it causes rib and back pain. It is important to use moderation and give yourself a break from binding occasionally. Also, never use tape or elastic bandages when binding your chest
Get a Hair Cut
Long hair can have a negative impact on the male image you want to project. If you currently have medium length or long hair, it would be wise to consider a haircut. A good haircut that will certainly help you project a male image. Typical male hairstyles involve keeping your hair short in the back and on the sides.
It is often said that barbers do a much better job of providing a male haircut compared to hairdressers. However, it would be wise to try them both and see which one works better for you. You should not, however, under any circumstances take a pair of scissors and try to do the work yourself. Get a professional haircut, and it will be worth every penny.