Trans man chest reconstruction surgery is a solution for transgender men, especially for individuals who wish to achieve a more masculine appearance. This surgery is done by removing the breast or just reducing its size.
Masculinizing Chest Reconstruction
The ultimate goal of this procedure is to align your physical characteristics with your internal self-recognition and how you want the world to see you. The relief surgery gives to make you feel comfortable, and enhance your feeling of self-esteem and body confidence.
Surgical procedures have potential complications and intricacies; it is crucial to maintain realistic expectations. It is almost impossible to predict the outcome of Trans man chest reconstruction surgery or the changes that might occur post-surgery. For lots of trans men, binding of the chest tissue can cause a variety of health issues. There can be issues of reduced lung capacity, and even broken ribs if improper techniques are used. Choosing a reputable surgeon and knowing what results to expect is a way to ensure you’re receiving the highest standard of care.
Take Risks
There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. However, you do not have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this. Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new would be enough. In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. You may not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try.
Trans man chest reconstruction surgery is a life-changing experience; it will take time for your chest to heal and go into its new position - sometimes up to a year. Another vital thing to note is that some added procedures might be necessary to give you the result that you desire. Generally, the success rates of this surgery are in the percentage of 90s.
Dating can be a tricky business. It’s like taking a chance with somebody and then trying and figuring out if the two of you share a common language. It’s like going for a long boat ride with a complete stranger and then gradually fathom that stranger. Romance, passion, understanding; you will have a lot of such expectations from that stranger. But it takes a while to figure out how it will turn out. However, if you are enamoured by a FTM transgender guy and can’t wait to date him, things can be even more challenging.
While dating a FTM trans guy, you can’t just take anything for granted. And if you have only dated cis guys before, this is definitely new terrain for you. You are nervous, excited, everything. However, if you follow a couple of tips while dating a FTM transgender guy, you are going to be alright. If you are lucky, then maybe not just alright but you are totally going to rock in your new founded quest for love!
FTM Trans Guys are Unique and Different
Now just because you are dating a FTM transgender guy, that does not mean you can assume that all transgender guys are carbon copies of each other. You cannot just read stuff about FTM trans guys from the internet and then uncritically apply it to your man.
It’s not that straightforward. Just like all other guys, they come from different backgrounds. Their race, religion, culture, etc. is bound to influence their personalities and behavioural patterns, pretty much as it happens in the case of everyone else.
So, you have to treat your trans guy as a unique person with a distinct individuality and try and figure him out naturally and organically. However, it is also important to realize that all FTM trans guys have different transitioning periods. His transitioning period has a massive impact on his behaviour and moods. You have to keep that in mind while dating a trans guy.
Having said that, you have to walk that tightrope between understanding his nuances and yet, treating him like a regular guy. You have to understand that your trans guy’s sexual, romantic, social and emotional needs are going to be the same as anyone else. The need for optimal emotional and sexual fulfilment in a relationship, the craving for romance, all these expectations are natural in any relationship. But at the same time, you need to consider that his needs might be different from the cis guys you have dated before.
Be Prepared to Face Labels and Stereotypes About Your Relationship
Now, this can be a bit tricky to handle. But with a bit of maturity and understanding, you can get past this phase. Since you are dating a FTM trans guy, it is quite possible that others will judge your relationship. They might label you as ‘gay’. That’s just the ‘not so favourable’ baggage that comes with dating a trans guy and you have to learn to handle it.
It is natural that you might get terribly angry at people labelling your sexuality just because of your partner’s identity. It will seem cruel and insensitive. But you have to learn to live with it. You cannot change societal perceptions overnight. But with a bit of tolerance, you can totally prevent it from affecting you or your relationship.
You just have to remember that any relationship is an intimate and beautiful bond between the people concerned. As long as you and your trans guy are discovering love, passion and emotional intensity in your relationship, you shouldn’t be bothered by anyone else’s opinion on it.
You Have to be Prepared to Support Your Trans Guy
This can be the most challenging and yet the most beautiful part of your relationship. And it is no different from any other relationship. Everyone has certain issues, some vulnerabilities that need to be addressed. We all are incomplete in ourselves which is precisely why we need a relationship. There are times when we need to constantly hear,’ hey you are wonderful. You are the best.
It is pretty much the same with your FTM trans guy. Transitioning is a challenging business. It takes up a lot of his mental and emotional energy. So, it is natural that it can create abrupt mood swings and emotional issues that only a loving partner can address.
Coming out in the open as a transgender guy can be daunting. There are times when the families of trans guys are outrightly hostile towards them. That is why it is so important for you to support your transgender man.
Make Him Feel Great About His Masculinity
Being a FTM trans guy comes with a lot of in-built expectations. And sometimes, these expectations can take a toll on your trans man’s mental and emotional health. That is why it is so important for you to make him feel great about his body, his sexuality and his masculinity.
The masculine feel is very important for a FTM trans guy. Even after transitioning, he faces the constant pressure to appear masculine and macho in a certain way. Therefore, as a partner, you need to constantly compliment him on his masculine appearance, his clothes, maybe that tough macho look in his eyes, his specific body odour that makes you go haywire.
If his quest for the ultimate manliness is supported and adored by his partner, nothing else can make him happier on earth.
Communicate and Find out What Turns Him On
Communication is paramount to any relationship. And especially when you are dating a transgender guy, it becomes even more important. You cannot just presume things that he will enjoy this or that. Make sure you have a candid conversation about what turns him on, what are his sexual needs.
He might have a certain grey area you should probably avoid while getting intimate with him. But there is no way you are going to figure that out unless you ask. For example, some FTM transgender guys might not enjoy certain sexual contact that is normative for female-bodied folk. You have to understand that transitioning is a tough battle physically and mentally. So, he might even be uncomfortable and nervous about certain aspects of the female anatomy. Again, there is no magic wand that is going to make you realize all of this. The only key is one on one, candid communication with your transgender guy.
And it is ultimately the same as any other relationship. Every partner has some preferences, some things they like while getting intimate, certain things they don’t like. Intimacy cannot be built by racing along a dark alley! You have to take it forward slowly and gently, figuring out your partner’s needs and likes along the way. And all that is going to make intimacy even more beautiful and worthwhile.
Do Not Obsess Over His Trans Identity
This is the most important tip to remember while dating a FTM transgender guy. You know that your partner is transgender and accordingly, there are certain things that you will keep in mind. All that is great. But at the end of the day, you have to treat him the way you would any other cis guy. No one likes being made acutely conscious of their identity again and again. That is rude and disrespectful. So, you have to take your relationship forward in a natural and organic manner. When you are out with him when the two of you are talking or having a great time together, reminding him of his ‘trans’ identity all the time is just not cool. And it’s even irritating for him.
You have to figure out your trans guy’s unique needs very subtly and gently. But that does not mean that the sole defining point of the relationship is that he is ‘trans’. You have to take it forward like any other romantic relationship. Candlelight dinners, evenings in the pub, walk on the moonlit beach, a quiet movie date at his place or your place, all the usual stuff that relationships are made of.
Do not Ask Him Uncomfortable Questions About His Past Life
Transitioning is not easy, as it is. It is like discarding an old life and embracing a new one that you have always wanted. When your trans guy is focusing all his physical and mental energies on being the complete man, the last thing he wants is uncomfortable personal questions that take him back to his past life.
Honesty is certainly a key to any good relationship. But there are certain boundaries. And you cannot breach those boundaries unless and until the other person is willing. Maybe, at some point in time, he will himself open up about his past life. He might himself make you a confidante in his life history. But that is for him to decide. Just because you are dating him, you cannot keep on asking your trans guy uncomfortable questions about his past life.
Just let him be. If he has to share something with you, he will by himself. Take things forward slowly and gently.
How often have you seen someone exuding confidence and thought to yourself, I wish I could feel like that? Walking about feeling safe and secure in your skin, being certain of your place in the world, and your identity as an FTM transgender individual – if that seems out of your reach, you aren’t alone.
Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.
What exactly is confidence?
Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:
– Self-efficacy:
Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
– Self-confidence:
Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.
– Self-esteem:
While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.
Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.
Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?
Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.
As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.
So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.
Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again.
Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.
While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.
Be a Friend to Yourself
Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.
When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.
Remember and Celebrate Your Successes
Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.
These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.
Remove Things That Bring You Down
Out of sight, out of mind – this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.
Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.
Smile At Yourself In The Mirror
Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.
Improve Your Posture
Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.
Do Not Compare Yourself To Others
Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.
Take Risks
There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.
In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!
Be Persistent
At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.
On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.
Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.
If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to.
First dates are always special. There is this element of surprise; you get butterflies in your stomach just imagining how it would be. You can literally close your eyes and imagine a fairy-tale unfolding. Such is the innocent excitement and idealism of a first date.
As a transgender man, it’s a beautiful feeling when you ask out the girl of your dreams and she says yes. No wonder you are on cloud nine. But there is a lot more groundwork to be done yet! How you plan out your first date is what matters most. As the adage goes, first impressions are the last impressions. So, you should leave no stone unturned in making your first date unique and special.
If she has a good time during the first date, she would certainly want to go out on a second date with you. It’s as simple as that. But for that magic to happen, you have to invest some time, energy and creativity in planning out the date.
Below are some tips that would help you plan out an awesome first date for the girl who makes you go weak in the knees!
Be Creative in Planning Out the Date
This is most important. You can’t just take her out anywhere. A trans man taking out his crush on a date for the first time needs to invest some thinking into where he can take her. Everyone goes out on dates to fancy and expensive restaurants and cafes. There is nothing new about that. If you want to impress your girl, plan out something that is new, exciting and matches her hobbies.
If she is a dancing queen, get to know what kind of music she likes dancing to and take her someplace they are playing a live band along those lines. If your date is into books and reading, try to search for a café that also has a library or a bookshop attached to it. And take her out for a daytime date to that place. If you know for sure she is the clubbing rockstar, take her out to the best club in town. Or else maybe, she is too much of a nature lover. In that case, take her out to a garden café, a restaurant that has a terrace with a stunning outdoor view or take her out to a quaint, little pub in the mountains where the two of you can take a refreshing walk after the meal.
If you are creative in planning out your first date, she is going to love it. Women appreciate these little surprises. Your date would certainly notice that you put in so much effort in planning out that date and figuring out her likes and preferences. If you ask her out for a second date, she is probably going to say yes!
Be a Good Planner!
This is very important. Now that you have figured out where to take her, the next step is to plan out everything really well. We might have the best of ideas but unless we execute them, it’s no use. As a transgender man, you got to make sure that you’ve got everything figured out well in advance, the venue, how to get there, the amount of time it would take in getting from one place to another if you have 2,3 places on your itinerary.
When you finally go out on a date with that gorgeous woman you met through a transgender dating site, you don’t want to be embarrassing yourself with last-minute glitches. The whole thing should be effortless and smooth. Everything has to be so perfect that she completely forgets about the practical aspects of that date. And those practical things need to be taken care of by you.
Be a Gentleman When it Comes to Expenses
As a trans man, it is important that you bear the expenses of the first date yourself. On subsequent dates, the two of you could split the bills or work out a mutual arrangement, if the need be. But as a gentleman, you shouldn’t let your lady spend any money on the first date.
Even if she insists, just explain to her gently that you asked her out and therefore, you are going to take care of all her expenses. It’s not about money but it is certainly about gentlemanly behaviour and these little courtesies that women appreciate.
Money is not a big deal but if you take care of all her expenses on the first date, it shows that you value the lady.
Be at Your Best Behaviour
Good manners cannot be faked. But when you are with a lady you fancy, you obviously make an effort to be at your best behaviour. As a trans man going out on a first date with someone, you ought to remember that your prospective lady love would be closely observing your behaviour during the date.
Make an effort to pay attention to whatever she is saying. Be courteous and polite. Also, be a bit restrained when it comes to flirtation. While she won’t mind subtle and tasteful flirtation, anything over the top might make her feel you are too desperate or creepy. So, keep it cool and balanced.
Your body language plays an important role in how others perceive you. Be confident and relaxed. Avoid fidgeting too much. Also, look directly into the eyes of the lady when you are speaking. When you have the courage to look into someone’s eyes while you are talking, it shows your intentions are good and honest. On the contrary, if you cannot look directly into a person’s eyes, that gives the impression of a somewhat shady character. Just remember that in trans girl dating, it's these little perceptions that matter. Also, when it’s a date, it’s also romantic to look into the eyes of the woman of your dreams. Maybe, you two get a bit carried away and keep looking into one another’s eyes all evening.
Finally, good behaviour is not just about how you behave with her. It’s also about how you behave with others around you. The way you speak to the staff at your date venue tells a lot about your character. If you are arrogant and impolite with them, she would obviously judge you. So, keep that in mind.
The Good Old Candlelight Dinner Never Goes Out of Fashion!
Women are creatures of romance. They love a fairy-tale setting when it comes to spending time with someone special. There is something eternal and otherworldly about the idea of love so it is a somewhat fantastic, magical setting that can indeed do wonders for your first date.
If you cannot figure out anything else for your first date, take her out for a candlelight dinner! That’s one clichéd idea that always works. Dim lights, beautiful and laid-back music, some champagne, chocolates and flowers, this is the stuff of every girl’s dream. It is the deepest desire of every woman to be treated like a princess. A woman is capable of such dreamlike delicacy and love but first, she wants you to prove that you are worthy of it.
So, take her to a nice restaurant and surprise her with a candlelight dinner. Surprises are always good. Maybe, do not inform her in advance that it will be a candlelight dinner. She would be even more impressed if you pre-order a cake with her name on it or maybe a nice, little quote about how you like her. And then make your princess cut the cake, while the two of you are out on the candlelight dinner date. Your lady would absolutely love this. Also, make it a point to give her some gift when you meet her. It could be flowers, perfume, anything. The cost of the gift doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s the feelings that are important.
Take Special Care of Her Safety
This is most important. You have to take special care of the safety of your woman during and after the date. If you are in a crowded place and some guy is making her, feel uncomfortable, you should be able to stand up for her. While she obviously doesn’t expect you to pick up a fight, she does expect you to tell off that guy politely but firmly.
Women these days are independent and capable of protecting themselves for sure. It is certainly not about patronizing her. But as a trans man, standing up for your woman shows that you care for her. A woman wants to be with someone who can take control of things when they get messy. Imagine being at a restaurant and your woman feeling uncomfortable due to something and you just sitting in a corner, watching quietly. What kind of impression it would create? She would probably never see you for a second date.
Taking care of your date’s safety also involves making sure she gets back home safely. We still live in a patriarchal society, unfortunately so women’s safety is a concern, especially during late night. If she is uncomfortable about the idea of you dropping her home, book her a cab but keep a tab of her journey. Talk to her over the phone till she gets back home safely.
You might impress a woman with flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinner but when she gets to know that you genuinely care about her wellbeing, that’s when her heart starts melting.
He Born to Dominican parents, New York local, Laith Ashley propelled his career with a monumental campaign for Barneys New York, shot by Bruce Weber. Making his introduction as one of the primary trans male models to ever show up in a national campaign, was just the start.
A graduate of Fairfield University, he studied psychology with a focus in research, religion, and law. Laith started his transition at the end of January 2014 and found that modeling constrained him to confront himself in ways he never envisioned. Laith was the main male model on Oxygen's TV show, 'STRUT' and has been highlighted on a few covers, including Attitude magazine.
He has strolled in fashion shows for major designers and has been highlighted in Vogue Hommes. A defender for social equity, Laith has done incalculable interviews, empowering social change and advocating for equitable rights for LGBT people, and additionally speaking on the significance of decent variety at universities in the US and abroad.
There is a side to Laith Ashley that presently can't seem to be seen by the majority. A born entertainer, Laith is a vocalist, a songwriter, and dancer. His greatest dream was to impart these endowments to the world, and now he at long last will.
It is completely normal for Trans Men do not want to get gender reassignment surgery for numerous reasons. This doesn’t mean you will have to look like a female for the rest of your life. Here are a few ways to make yourself look less feminine without having gender reassignment surgery:
Cutting Your Hair
Long hair is one trait generally associated with women and girls. So, if you want to look less feminine you should consider getting a haircut. The right haircut will highlight your face’s bone structure and make you look manlier. For the best haircuts, consult a barber or a hairdresser. These persons are trained in cutting hair and getting a botched haircut from yourself or a friend will make you look untidy or poorly groomed.
Binding Your Chest
Breasts are another trait associated with women and girls. If you want to look less feminine, they will have to go. But remember this is about looking less feminine without getting gender reassignment surgery. One way to reduce the appearance of your breasts is by binding them. There are many methods and tips available online for binding your chest but be careful not to choose any that may be harmful or may cause discomfort.
Getting a New Wardrobe
The right wardrobe can without a doubt make you look less feminine. Please note that this does not mean baggy pants, beanies, and oversized shirts. This simply means choosing the right kinds of clothes. Certain patterns on shirts can accentuate the bulge your breasts make, such as stripes, and should be avoided. Pleated pants and skinny jeans hug your curves and make you look feminine. Avoid those and opt for straight cut pants that will hide your bum and your curves. Trade in those flats and heels for sneakers, boots and male shoes. Accessories such as belts and watches can also make you look more masculine.
Packing
To be taken seriously as a man, you must have a bulge. This is the outline of your penis in jeans or shorts. Because you are not getting the surgery, you will have to improvise. Luckily, there are many underpants that come with built-in bulges and are designed specifically for FTM Transgender Men. You don't have to pack every day, but it certainly makes you look much more believable. You will have to decide if you want to hard pack or soft pack but this all depends on your environment. If you have a hard pack everywhere you will look like a pervert. So please bear in mind your surroundings and the people that will be around you.
Adapting Masculine Mannerisms
The way you walk, talk, dress, sit, stand or even eat can make or break your efforts to look less feminine. Men usually maintain good posture and sit with their legs open. They also walk tall, without swinging hips, with their shoulders back and heads held high. Certain phrases and terms of endearment are rarely used by men and should be avoided. Try to observe the men in your surroundings and mimic their movements and soon you’ll catch on to what society deems as “masculine behavior”. Making yourself look less feminine without getting “the surgery” is not entirely difficult and if done properly, no one will be able to tell the difference!