Your dressing sense goes a long way towards people creating a certain image of you. It sounds clichéd but it’s true. Saying that you are essentially the clothes you wear would be probably going too far! But still, the clothes you choose to wear define your personality. As a FTM transgender guy, you can use your fashion sense to your advantage. The way you dress is very important for projecting a strong male image.
You are out there in the open now, eagerly waiting for the world to embrace your beautiful manhood. And that world, in evaluating your charisma as a man, is going to constantly check out what you are wearing.
However, the whole experience of buying men’s clothes can be intimidating for a FTM transgender guy. It’s a whole new experience for you. If you have a small body or big hips for instance, then you would think finding the right male clothes that would fit you well is even bigger a challenge.
But with a few tips and tricks, you will be ready to embrace your masculine self! And not just get by but perhaps come out with flying colours!
Buy Clothes that Fit You Well
This is the most basic and common-sensical tip for anyone. But still, people fail to follow this simple adage.
Many FTM transgender guys commit the cardinal sin of buying baggy, oversized clothing. They have the perception that bigger and looser clothes would somehow make them look bulkier and more manly. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Clothes that literally hang on your body just make you look boring and old.
So, it is important to buy clothes that fit you well. Not too tight but not overtly loose and baggy either. It has to complement your body.
This becomes even more important while you are shopping for jeans or trousers. Jeans too tight on the waist would look awkward and would also make you immensely uncomfortable while you are sitting down or simply moving around. Jeans too loose would also be totally unflattering to your body.
Well fitted clothes give the impression of a confident personality. As a FTM transgender guy, it is super important to appear confident and articulate. On the contrary, ill-fitting, baggy clothes give the impression of someone who doesn’t take care of themselves.
Remember that as a FTM transgender guy, perception goes a long way towards people accepting you in your manly image. And well-fitted clothes help create that perception.
Do not be Conscious about Your Size
Do not stress over your body supposedly not fitting a generic male body parameter. Rather, dress according to your body type and you are bound to look good.
If you have a somewhat smaller body, do not get conscious of it. Just look for clothes in the boy’s section. Well-fitted clothes give the impression of a fit, toned body, irrespective of one’s body size. So, if you are very small size, do not get obsessed with getting bigger. Just find the right clothes that complement your body type.
If a FTM transgender guy has bigger hips that can also become a cause of concern while shopping for male apparel. Men’s trousers usually don’t have room for big hips. But it’s not impossible to find one that would sit well on your hips. So, no matter what, do not get conscious about your size. Always buy clothes that fit you well, even if that involves putting in a bit of extra hard work!
Just remember that if you buy trousers with the right cut, you can minimize the appearance of a heavy waist. Taper cut pants are also a suitable option for a FTM transgender guy with larger thighs.
Yet another trick is to move a size or two up with the waist but opt for a trend like skinny fit. This would make the trousers sit beautifully on your legs while hiding your waist.
So, whether you are a small guy or unusually big by general standards, do not get nervous and do not lose confidence. There are all sorts of sizes available these days. As long as you don’t get obsessed with the idea of forcefully trying to change your size or body type, you will be fine.
Your Clothes Should be Your Personal Statement
Now, everyone is unique. And that is precisely why no two people look the same, even if they have put on similar-looking clothes! As a FTM transgender guy, do not feel compelled to copy the fashion choices of cis guys or anyone else, for that matter. Create your own fashion statement.
Have fun with what you wear. If you like colours bring on the blues, reds, pinks, whatever! If you are enamoured by anime, video games, let your t-shirts showcase that side of yours. You don’t have to resign yourself to wearing boring whites and greys just because you want to project a certain male image.
As a FTM transgender guy, you are certainly projecting a male image. But one that’s uniquely you. And the man who is not afraid of being himself takes up his sexiness quotient by a few notches!
So just remember that your sartorial choices should be an extension of your personality.
Use Clothes with Patterns to Your Advantage
Now, this is a practical necessity. As a FTM transgender guy, it is important to hide or camouflage any bumps on your chest. So, you have to super careful while wearing t-shirts with patterns or stripes.
A golden rule to follow in this case is: the more random or asymmetrical the pattern is, the better it is. A random or asymmetrical pattern with help you camouflage the bumps in your chest area better. When the pattern is not symmetrical, the human eye gets somewhat confused. Such a pattern would then not draw overt, exclusive attention to your chest area.
So, buying clothes with patterns is great. But you have to be careful as to what kind of patterns are these and if you can use the design to camouflage any bulge on your chest.
Check Out What FTM Trans Icons are Wearing
Now, this is an exercise that can be both fun and inspiring! You can check out the profiles of FTM trans icons on social media sites like Instagram and check out what they wear, how they carry themselves.
As a FTM transgender guy, following a celebrity who has probably had the same share of struggles as you can be a major confidence booster. There are times when we need role models to fall back on not because we are not sure of ourselves but simply because we perhaps need a new perspective to look at our own self.
Identity crisis is more common in transgender people than we think. When a trans man comes to grips with his new identity and starts the process of transitioning, it can be a tough road ahead. He might feel vulnerable, confused, exposed and even scared. It’s like embracing a whole new world. You know for sure that it’s your world but still, a number of conflicting emotions continue to haunt you. Before they figure out their real identity, this crisis is even more acute. A trans man is bewildered and exasperated because he doesn’t understand what could cause him such acute unhappiness and distress.
The fact that society doesn’t view transgender people in a great light doesn’t quite support your cause. In fact, it accentuates the agony and suffering of a trans man. The identity crisis that a transgender man typically goes through is known as gender dysphoria in medical jargon. Gender dysphoria refers to the psychological state when a person’s real gender identity is different from the one assigned to them at the time of birth. That is, their actual gender identity is different from their biological identity. Gender dysphoria is what makes many transgender people opt for medical transitioning in the first place. Post transitioning, gender dysphoria would gradually get resolved. But it doesn’t disappear overnight. A trans man might continue to experience dysphoria during transitioning and after it.
But there is nothing to be scared of when you face an identity crisis. With the right approach, a trans man can successfully defeat such a crisis.
This article gives you a couple of suggestions as to how you can cope with an identity crisis as a transgender man.
Recognize the Crisis
Human beings have a habit of evading issues. We often think that by pretending an issue doesn’t exist, we can get it out of our heads. But that is unfortunately not the case. A psychological issue will continue to haunt until it is resolved. For transgender men struggling with an identity crisis, it is imperative that they recognize the crisis first.
At such a time, thinking may seem like the last thing we want to do. But be courageous and try to figure out what exactly is happening. Is this crisis unique to you? Or have other members of the transgender community faced this crisis at some point in their lives? Ask yourself these questions. Do internet research to find out what is the exact name for this crisis. It is gender dysphoria and once you’ve figured that out, you will be in a better position to address the crisis.
Visit a transgender forum online and start a conversation with other trans men on that forum. Talking to like-minded individuals who are in the same boat as you are would give you a better understanding of your own situation.
Resolving the Crisis through Transitioning
Now, this is a fairly personal decision. But once a trans man has figured out that they are experiencing gender dysphoria, it is important to think of ways and means to resolve the crisis.
For many trans men, social transitioning might do the trick. That is, they begin to come out as a guy by confidently embracing the dressing style, body movements and behavioural characteristics of guys. Others might seek the route of medical transitioning. In fact, most transgender men do undergo some sort of medical transitioning. According to research, medical transitioning resolves the issue of gender dysphoria to a large extent. Through hormone therapy and other treatments, it makes a trans man’s biological identity almost similar to his gender identity, thus making it easier for him to date the opposite sex and socially embrace his new life as a man.
Identity crisis can pop up any time though. A trans man has to constantly deal with the apathetic attitude of society, bordering on hatred. This makes him vulnerable to such a crisis even well after transitioning. He finds it difficult to settle down his particular identity because society is constantly telling him the opposite. And this can make him question the gender identity of his choice again and again.
It’s a tough battle out there but the important thing is to just keep going and understand that the identity crisis is a temporary phase. You might feel like it’s the end of the world. But the good thing is you will come out even stronger and more awesome post this phase. So never give up on your identity and rights.
Consider Dating
As a trans man, dating and relationships are an important part of your life. We all need love. So, consider joining a transgender dating site to look for your soulmate. Dating is a great stress buster as well. Even as you are chatting with a number of prospective love interests online, it gives you something to look forward to. Dating creates immense positive energy and gets you out of the complex of self-doubt and anxiety.
Seeking out a romantic partner might seem like the last thing you want when you are undergoing an identity crisis but once you take the plunge, it can end your crisis for good.
It’s a psychological factor that indulging in pursuits that make us happy and relaxed automatically diverts our mind from negative things. It’s similar to the way exercise is great because it releases endorphins and keeps you away from depression and anxiety. Dating is certainly a great way to cope with your identity crisis. This doesn’t mean though that you are running away from the crisis. On the contrary, you are accepting the crisis as a challenge and fighting it out in your own way. Dating also gives you an opportunity to understand your own identity and sexuality in a better manner. It might even end your identity crisis altogether as love sometimes makes us quite sure of who we are.
Confide in Your Partner
This is for trans men who are already in a relationship. Do not try to hide those issues from your partner. On the contrary, you should tell them all about what you are going through. You spend the maximum time with your lover so they understand you rather well and are best placed to offer you advice.
The mere act of support from a partner can take your self-esteem a few notches up. Romantic love and attraction are an integral part of our gender identity. When your partner will reaffirm their faith in your identity, it will certainly work towards resolving your self-doubts.
Confide in Friends
Friends are no less than a soulmate. A good friend is the best thing that can happen to us. They are someone who gives us unconditional love and support without judgment or prejudice. A trans man struggling with identity issues should certainly communicate his concerns to close friends.
In times like these, nobody can comfort more than a friend. It might not resolve the issue but just talking to your best friend and opening up your heart to them would make you feel light and unburdened. It would take away some of your anxiety so that you can be in a better situation to understand your problem.
Seek Support of the Trans Community
The transgender community is a strong support network for LGBT folk struggling with different kinds of issues. It has been at the forefront of transgender rights and has been instrumental in bringing up legislation across the world that recognizes the transgender community and makes it easier for them to seek education and employment without discrimination.
A trans guy struggling with an identity crisis should certainly seek the support of the transgender community at large. You could do this both online and offline. You can join a transgender forum and interact with other members of the community. Bring up your issues in the forum and you would certainly benefit from their goodwill and advice. You could also become a part of the local trans community in your area. Do some research and find out if your city has an organization working in the field of transgender rights. Get in touch with them. Communicate your concerns. Some trans community groups also organize regular get-togethers and events. These are a great way of bonding with other members of the LGBT community and sharing your mutual concerns.
Consult a Medical Professional
This should ideally be your last resort. Confiding in your partner and friends and the trans community support network should help you resolve the crisis. But if the issue keeps on getting worse and it’s reached a stage where it’s interfering with your day-to-day life, consult a medical professional.
The medical professional will be more from a ‘mental health’ background. It will be like a counselling and mental therapy session. But again, here is a disclaimer. You shouldn’t be too optimistic about your problem being solved after seeing the professional.
Unfortunately, many medical practitioners are themselves prejudiced against the transgender community. They might try to talk you into accepting the gender identity assigned to you at the time of birth. It might even worsen your dysphoria because they will then essentially negate your experiences and identity, trying to tell you that it’s something abnormal or wrong. So, this should be your last resort.
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