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There is no cookie-cutter path to become a confident MTF Trans Woman. You will at times find yourself stumbling in your quest to embrace your femininity. When you stumble, find yourself envious, or compare yourself to other cis-woman, know that you are not alone. Many MTF Trans Women fall into the pit of comparing themselves with cis-women.

It is often said that comparison is the death of joy. In fact, it is one of the surest ways to lower your self-esteem. But how do you stop comparing yourself to others? Below are some valuable tips that will offer you an answer.

Realize that Comparing Yourself is Destructive

While comparing yourself to others is fairly normal behaviour, it can be self-destructive in many situations. This is because each person is their own worst critic, meaning when we compare ourselves to others, we tend to judge ourselves more harshly. The first step to stopping this behaviour is by consciously realizing that it is destructive. You may always find cis-women to be pretty, but their beauty has nothing to do with yours. You are beautiful in your own way separate from them.

Focus on Yourself

For you to make positive strides on your journey to embrace your femininity, you should compare yourself only to yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror, smile more vibrantly than you did yesterday. Think about what you have achieved and all your potential for the future. When you compare yourself to yourself instead of other cis-women, you will be more appreciative of your uniqueness. Additionally, this process helps you feel good about yourself without necessarily having to think less of others.

Be Kind and Polite

The way you treat others often reflects the way you feel about yourself. As a result, showing compassion for yourself allows you to be more compassionate towards others and vice versa. If you tend to criticize other people, you will likely be more critical of yourself. However, if you are kind to others, you will almost certainly be kind to yourself.

Focus on the Positives

Every person has flaws. A guaranteed way to magnify your flaws out of proportion is by comparing yourself with other people. People tend to present the best of themselves to the outside world both in person and on social media. You are likely comparing your flaws with the best the other person has to offer; it is not a fair comparison. Instead of comparing yourself with other people, try to focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your life. Make it a habit to think positively about yourself and others.

Transitioning is a very complex process. Every transgender woman has a unique transitioning trajectory. The approach that she adopts towards transitioning depends totally on her personality and her own priorities as an individual. There is no ‘one fits all’ method to transitioning. Every transgender woman has a distinct individuality and that is what guides her future life choices.

She might go all the way up to altering her physique and facial structure surgically as much as possible to look more feminine. That is, she might go for Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS). Or she might just opt for the Hormone Replacement Therapy and take it from there. But irrespective of whatever approaches she takes, a basic grounding in etiquettes of femininity would certainly help her in projecting that feminine image.

She is taking a leap of faith by choosing to live like a woman. She is a beautiful woman already. She feels like a woman inside out. It’s just that as a transgender woman, she needs to master some external manifestations of femininity in order to take forward her journey as a woman.

And it’s not just about fitting in or some stamp of approval from society. It is very much about her own desire to give a beautiful, sublime expression to her innate femininity.  Societal codes and conventions aren’t always binding and suffocating. Sometimes, they get us the kind of recognition that we have been craving for. Adhering to a certain etiquette of femininity would also make a transgender woman feel that her body and heart are completely in sync.

This article is going to list some tips that a transgender woman can follow for bringing out her innate femininity.

Dressing & Fashion

The dressing is more than just an external manifestation of femininity. What a woman wears offers a window to her soul. For a transsexual woman, it is important to choose stylish, chic, feminine attire that will complement her looks, personality and body type.

Whether she is wearing dresses or skirts, the colours and cuts should complement her body type and enhance her femininity. She should also keenly follow all the latest fashion trends. Of course, she should not blindly copy these trends. She has to eventually evolve her distinct style in accordance with her unique beauty and attributes. But it is very important to know about all the happening trends in the world of fashion. She should not come across as someone who wears beautiful but outdated clothes.  For a modern, feminine woman, looking contemporary and chic is equally important.

In fact, a transgender woman should read fashion magazines on a regular basis. She should never miss out on the ‘Fashion’ and ‘Lifestyle’ pages of the newspapers. Constantly checking out what celebrities are wearing these days gives one a perfect peep into the world of fashion and glamour. It will also give her innovative ideas on how to design her own wardrobe.

Yet another advantage of reading a fashion magazine is that it will give her an idea as to where she can buy the clothes from. She will get an update on all the latest and happening ladies’ apparel stores in the town.

Last but not the least, it is very important to check out what other women around you are wearing. You just have to walk around the street and observe the kind of clothes that women are wearing. This will give you more practical and hands-on tips for dressing up. Maybe, what a fashion model featured on the magazine cover is wearing is not practical for you to wear in day-to-day life. Maybe, it doesn’t suit your body type. But if you notice women around you, which will give you an idea on how to merge the high fashion sensibility of designer wear with the more practical sensibility of day-to-day wear.

Learning the Art of Applying Makeup

A transgender woman has to perfect the art of applying makeup. It might seem like the easiest thing in the world considering that most women apply makeup on a day-to-day basis. But applying makeup well is not that easy. It is a skill that can be mastered with constant practice and learning.

A transgender woman should always choose the right kind of makeup according to her skin tone and facial features. If her eyes are small, then she has to highlight her eyes using adequate eye makeup. If she already has large eyes, then the eye makeup would be somewhat different. If she has fuller lips already, then she has to be very careful while applying lipstick. If she has thin lips, then it is very important to enhance those through makeup.

A good way of learning make up is by watching YouTube tutorials on ‘how to apply makeup’. Social media sites like YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, etc. have amazing makeup tutorials. Depending on your skill and experience level, you can choose the kind of videos you want to watch. If you are a beginner, you can watch videos listing ‘makeup tips for beginners’’. If you as a transgender woman want to learn how to apply basic, nude makeup for an everyday look, there are specific tutorials for those. If you are interested in learning party makeup or more edgy, dramatic makeup, then there are tutorials for that too.

Practice is very important for perfecting the art of makeup. Just watching YouTube videos isn’t going to do the trick. One has to constantly practise what one has learnt.

Appropriate makeup that highlights her facial features will make a transgender woman bring out her gorgeous self in full bloom. And after all that makeup, do not forget to ace the look with that gorgeous, alluring smile!

Feminine Voice

Makeup, dressing sense, all these constitute the 1st step towards the external manifestation of femininity. But communicating in a feminine voice is equally important. And this can be tricky terrain for a transgender woman. The transition process is complex and multi-layered. Finding a feminine voice during and post-transition can be challenging.

But with a few tips and tricks, a transgender woman can simulate a feminine voice. Even if she has a deep, manly voice, she can make the pitch somewhat higher and the voice would sound feminine. If she breathes from the stomach and then speaks, it would help in getting rid of vibrations in the chest.

A transgender woman with a somewhat manly voice can also consider taking singing lessons or just practice singing by herself. She can try out her favourite numbers. Singing is an excellent way of training the voice in a way that makes it sound more feminine. Singing would add the high-pitched notes to her voice. It would also make her voice smoother. All this would certainly enhance the feminine quality of her voice.

If she wants to go a step further, she can even consider taking professional voice lessons. There exist professional voice training courses specifically targeted at transgender women to help them make their voice sound more feminine. A professional coach can give you numerous tips and tricks for voice projection that can make your voice sound smoother and sweeter. You could also try out YouTube videos that teach voice projection and offer lessons on how to make the voice sound more melodious and feminine.

Speak Softly

It’s not just the quality of your voice that makes you sound feminine. The way you speak is very important. A transgender woman should try to speak as softly and politely as she can. A soft, soothing deep, husky voice can also sound very feminine. On the contrary, a screeching voice, the kind of voice where the speaker is literally shouting can be very unpleasant on the ears.

So, she can step up her feminine quotient by speaking softly and politely.

Eyebrows and Shaving are Very Important for her Grooming

Eyebrows define the shape of the entire face. For a feminine look, it’s very important that the eyebrows are regularly plucked and in great shape. Messy, bushy eyebrows aren’t going to make you look all that feminine. Neatly plucked eyebrows with a bit of arch are what will do the trick.

It goes without saying that shaving is very important in order to get rid of all that stubble. Also, you shouldn’t shave in a hurry. Take your time and make sure you are doing it perfectly. Be gentle so that you don’t end up developing any rashes or infections by being too harsh and rough on your own skin.

Clear, smooth skin is the hallmark of ultimate femininity. And for getting that type of look, you have to be extremely meticulous and patient with your shaving routine. Waxing is of course the easiest and most convenient practice. But you can even consider electrolysis or laser hair removal.

Be Confident

Just as a woman cannot wear any makeup better than a smile, she cannot wear any attribute better than confidence.

A confident woman literally radiates with the unique beauty of her personality and she spreads her special aura everywhere she goes.

People are naturally attracted to a confident woman, they wish to speak with her, they want to be around her and take her opinions seriously.

So, a transgender woman should be confident in all spheres of life. When she radiates with the beauty and confidence of her innate femininity, absolutely nothing can stop her from conquering the world.

As a MTF trans woman, one feels like they have gotten a new lease of life after sex reassignment surgery. It is a precious phase in a trans woman’s life. Her mind is undergoing a heady cocktail of diverse and confusing emotions and her heart is in a state of flurry. She is perhaps looking forward to joining a trans dating site or a transsexual dating site to look for the love of her life. She is definitely on cloud nine. But she is also somewhat anxious. A trans woman is anxious because she wants to be the best possible feminine version of herself. And sometimes she doesn’t quite know how to go about it. She has had a hard time literally battling for her identity. And now although she has come out in flying colours, there are things and aspects about being a woman she must learn. And in the process, she has to undo a lot of unconscious behavioural traits and characteristics that she has gotten so used to because of her past identity.

Being an elegant woman is not just about makeup, fashionable clothes, footwear, jewellery and accessories though. Femininity is a way more complex concept that takes time to understand and master. Of course, being super well-groomed and dressing like a woman is the first step towards cracking the femininity code. But just getting the feminine look right isn’t enough. A trans woman needs to internalize the body language of a woman, she needs to assimilate the essence of femininity at a rather subconscious level and that’s the challenging part.

But it’s not impossible. Following the right tips and suggestions, she can certainly grasp the essence of femininity and apply it to her own life. This article lists out a couple of points that a trans woman should keep in her mind during her journey towards embracing femininity.

Understand Femininity

Femininity has some tangible and some intangible aspects. Now, the tangible aspects are easy to crack. As a trans woman, you start wearing the right clothes that suit your body type and accentuate your femininity. You keep an eye on all the latest trends through fashion magazines and regularly check out your local women’s apparel stores. You learn the art of applying makeup and also master the craft of creating the right look by adding the right accessories to any given outfit. All these things you can learn. But the difficult part of femininity is the intangible aspects. And unless you have cracked those, it’s only half the battle won.

A woman is beautiful not because she has the right makeup on or because she is dressed up perfectly. She is beautiful because she feels beautiful. Even when she has just woken up, there is such a soft allure to her body and facial expressions that it can melt the heart of even the toughest of guys. Even while she is casually sipping her morning coffee and there is not a trace of makeup on her face, her smile can light up an entire room. Her beautiful tresses falling carelessly on her forehead can inspire poets and artists to madness. When she lifts up her head and looks at someone, she is loveliness personified. This is the essence of femininity that a trans woman has to imbibe. She has to feel from the core of her heart that she is feminine and beautiful. And then her entire being will begin to radiate with the aura of femininity.

Embrace the hidden Values of Femininity

Femininity is also about a lot of values that make the world a beautiful place to live in. Kindness, compassion, mercy, all these are feminine values. A trans woman seeking to appear more feminine should also learn to imbibe these hidden values of femininity in her day-to-day behaviour.

Let’s try to understand this through an example. A trans woman has met a potential love interest through a trans dating app or a trans woman dating site. She goes out on a date with that person. They go to some café and the waiter spills the food on her dress by mistake. This is of course an awful thing to happen but how she handles the situation will tell a great deal about her femininity. Now she can respond to the same situation in different ways. She can either shout at the top of her voice and abuse the waiter. Or she can take control of herself, appear calm and dignified and tell the waiter politely but firmly that it’s ok but he should be careful in future. Which of these two reactions would make her appear more feminine? Obviously, the latter one and her date would be impressed with her femininity and gentle behaviour as well.

There is no manual that can teach you how to understand these hidden values of femininity. You just learn along as you go deeper into your journey of embracing femininity. Just remember that kindness and compassion are eternally beautiful qualities that only a true woman is capable of.

Adopt Feminine Grace in Your Movements and Voice

This is something you can actually learn as a trans woman. You can go through a transgender blog or join a transgender forum where you can learn from other trans women the art of adding feminine grace to your bodily movements. You could even consider joining a grooming class where the basics of feminine body movements are taught. If you can’t find such a class in your local area, you could always try and find a virtual one.

The first thing that a trans woman has to learn about feminine body movements is that she has to learn the art of restraining her body movement. So, if you just barge into a room, it won’t appear very nice and feminine. On the contrary, if you walk as if you are just sliding effortlessly, your feminine aura and grace would be just noticed by everybody. There is a certain delicate rhythm in feminine body movements. A woman doesn’t just fall into a chair. She sits down gently and gracefully. Similarly, when she walks, her body movements have a graceful, almost effortless rhythm. She never sits with her legs apart. That’s one golden rule to follow. You should always sit with legs as close together as possible in order to appear more feminine.

A trans woman who has just gotten a date through a transgender dating site is also concerned about her voice. It’s natural that she wants to sound feminine and all but it’s not so easy to discard her old voice. There are specific voice training classes that a trans woman can attend where she will basically be taught tips and tricks on modulating her voice in a way that would make it sound softer and feminine. She can also consider practising singing. Singing wonderfully opens up the vocal cords and once you start singing the higher up notes, that feminine, sweet clear voice would just come to you naturally.

You can also practice your feminine speech with a friend. And it really helps if that friend is honest and they give you the right kind of criticism so that you can improve. You can also consider practising your feminine voice in front of a mirror or even with your phone selfie camera. This would also make your body language more confident and you would also learn to project the right facial expressions while practising feminine voice.

A Woman’s Handbag speaks a lot about her Femininity

A handbag is a very important accessory for a woman. You would rarely spot a woman without a stylish and ultra-chic handbag. So, if you are coming out as a transgender woman, do spend on a collection of cool handbags. Your handbag should mirror your femininity but you shouldn’t go overboard with experimentation, at least at the initial stage. It’s best to start with classic and chic handbags in solid colours. As you get used to carrying one, you can get more experimental with your choice of a handbag!

For a trans woman who has just started dating someone through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, it is very important to perfect the right look. Makeup, clothes and accessories can help her ace that looks. But the look is incomplete without the right handbag. The contents of a trans woman’s handbag are equally important. A lady’s handbag is a reflection of her femininity. If all items are arranged neatly within the handbag, it tells one a great deal about her aesthetic sense and neatness. On the contrary, if her handbag is shabby with all sorts of things literally spilling into each other, it speaks of an untidy and slovenly disposition.

Some ‘must include’ items in a woman’s handbag are hand sanitiser, lipstick or lip gloss, facial mist or facial wipes, deodorant, a compact mirror, feminine hygiene products (tampon), safety pins, a notebook and a pen and last but not the least, some cash.