When a baby is born, the mother anxiously waits to hear the announcement from the nurse, it’s a boy or a girl. This is like a norm that is never questioned. To those whose gender doesn’t fit either group of male or female as traditions dictates, how should the announcement be made? Most activities require identifications like enrolling in a school, applying for welfare benefits, opening a bank account, voting, traveling across the borders, or finding a job. In absence of legal recognition, a transgender person will have challenges doing such common activities. Gender development should not be the basis of whether or not one should enjoy fundamental rights like health care, employment, or government legal recognition. To transgender people, it can be humiliating and sometimes violent. The process for legal recognition of a transgender person requires courage and willingness to crucify your personal life for public scrutiny and often, unfriendly courts and law-makers. It is much easier and friendlier to enroll in a trans-dating site where you meet trans people and people who love and care about transgender people and are ready to start a long and healthy relationship with you.
Legal recognition policies are important because they form the firm foundations of affirming the dignity and respect of a transgender person. It is also the gateway to other rights like the right to privacy, freedom of expression, free to arbitrary arrest, right to employment, education, health, justice, movement, housing, and right to marry. The process should no longer subject the applicant to humiliation and harmful treatment.
Legal challenges may be;
Civil status requirement: In some countries where same-sex marriage is prohibited, such unions are challenged and may be nullified. A transgender person should be allowed to express love and marry. Like any other normal person, they can find love on dating sites too. Unfortunately, in some countries, a parent who chose to undergo gender reassignment might lose custody of their child due to forced divorce.
Age: The procedure for legal gender recognition may involve age restriction or minimum age requirement. If the recognition requires a medical interview, these are often done to adults. Therefore, they are discriminated against based on age brackets.
Requirements met before legal recognition: There may be certain things to be met before being able to change their name and registered names like irreversible sterilization, hormonal treatment, preliminary surgical procedures, and sometimes proof of ability to live for a long time in the new gender.
Medical requirements: They involve psychiatric diagnosis, compulsory medical intervention like hormonal treatment, and surgery. Though it is under review, WHO statistics listed transsexuals as a ‘mental and behavior disorder’.
The fight for legal recognition in many countries brings moral fear but it is a worthy cause. If trans rights of privacy, free expression including expressing love on a trans dating site and dignity is to be upheld, the government has to understand that unjust restriction of people's right has to stop. The trans community has to understand that it is their responsibility to ensure that their rights are upheld authorities. That will only happen if they accept they are normal and nothing short of that. There is a great need to end abusive and discriminating procedures that hinder rights to recognition.
Some countries have enforced laws that prohibit transgender people from expressing themselves as ‘the opposite sex’ declaring them legally in existence. Elsewhere, trans are arrested under the law that sees the same sex as a criminal act. The fact is, trans are real and they are here to stay. They should live like any other person and associate normally. Transgender dating site has people who don’t need licensing to recognize you as who you are. However, without the legal documentation that recognizes transgender law and has rights and protection they associate with, they will continue to face potential violence and humiliation. Therefore, they hide themselves from the public.
Suicide cases among transgender people result from systematic marginalization and humiliation. They are killed brutally, raped, kidnapped, tortured, and mutilated. Some have been asked to explain how they do sex with their partners in public. A transgender person should not entertain verbal diarrhea from narrow-minded people or offer answers to such talks. In recent years, the trans community around the world has made efforts towards achieving legal recognition. Breakthroughs have been in areas of choosing the gender identity you want at 18yrs of age, choose whether to undergo gender reassignment, and change official documents information without prior medical or judicial approval. Children can do so with consent from a legal representative or a judicial proceeding. In some nations, transgender people can change their gender marker on documents simply by filling in the required forms. There is still a lot to be done since not all can be achieved by legal documentation. As a transgender person, go out there and claim your space. Don’t hide away or bribe your way out of injustice practices towards you. If you believe in yourself, they will believe in you too. In trans dating sites, you can be yourself freely and exercise rights to your feelings without fear of like-minded people.
In conclusion, legal gender recognition is about ensuring a gender person’s rights are respected, stopping discrimination, and maintaining dignity. A quick, accessible, and transparent legal procedure without abusive representation can do it. So will when a transgender person is given identity papers and other relevant official documents that match with a person’s identity. The documents should include a clear male or female gender marker. It can never be right if the legislative and the government don’t consult with the transgender community and NGOs that defend transgender human rights.
The Transgender community has to understand the process of legal recognition can be humiliating. There is a need for courage and willingness to go through the process before things get better. However, one must live their life to the fullest and that does not need licensing.
How often have you seen someone exuding confidence and thought to yourself, I wish I could feel like that? Walking about feeling safe and secure in your skin, being certain of your place in the world, and your identity as an FTM transgender individual – if that seems out of your reach, you aren’t alone.
Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.
What exactly is confidence?
Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:
– Self-efficacy:
Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
– Self-confidence:
Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.
– Self-esteem:
While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.
Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.
Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?
Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.
As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.
So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.
Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again.
Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.
While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.
Be a Friend to Yourself
Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.
When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.
Remember and Celebrate Your Successes
Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.
These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.
Remove Things That Bring You Down
Out of sight, out of mind – this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.
Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.
Smile At Yourself In The Mirror
Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.
Improve Your Posture
Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.
Do Not Compare Yourself To Others
Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.
Take Risks
There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.
In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!
Be Persistent
At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.
On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.
Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.
If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to.