User blogs

Your dressing sense goes a long way towards people creating a certain image of you. It sounds clichéd but it’s true. Saying that you are essentially the clothes you wear would be probably going too far! But still, the clothes you choose to wear define your personality. As a FTM transgender guy, you can use your fashion sense to your advantage. The way you dress is very important for projecting a strong male image.

You are out there in the open now, eagerly waiting for the world to embrace your beautiful manhood. And that world, in evaluating your charisma as a man, is going to constantly check out what you are wearing.

However, the whole experience of buying men’s clothes can be intimidating for a FTM transgender guy. It’s a whole new experience for you. If you have a small body or big hips for instance, then you would think finding the right male clothes that would fit you well is even bigger a challenge.

But with a few tips and tricks, you will be ready to embrace your masculine self! And not just get by but perhaps come out with flying colours!

Buy Clothes that Fit You Well

This is the most basic and common-sensical tip for anyone. But still, people fail to follow this simple adage.

Many FTM transgender guys commit the cardinal sin of buying baggy, oversized clothing. They have the perception that bigger and looser clothes would somehow make them look bulkier and more manly. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Clothes that literally hang on your body just make you look boring and old.

So, it is important to buy clothes that fit you well. Not too tight but not overtly loose and baggy either. It has to complement your body.

This becomes even more important while you are shopping for jeans or trousers. Jeans too tight on the waist would look awkward and would also make you immensely uncomfortable while you are sitting down or simply moving around. Jeans too loose would also be totally unflattering to your body.

Well fitted clothes give the impression of a confident personality. As a FTM transgender guy, it is super important to appear confident and articulate. On the contrary, ill-fitting, baggy clothes give the impression of someone who doesn’t take care of themselves.

Remember that as a FTM transgender guy, perception goes a long way towards people accepting you in your manly image. And well-fitted clothes help create that perception.

Do not be Conscious about Your Size

Do not stress over your body supposedly not fitting a generic male body parameter. Rather, dress according to your body type and you are bound to look good.

If you have a somewhat smaller body, do not get conscious of it. Just look for clothes in the boy’s section. Well-fitted clothes give the impression of a fit, toned body, irrespective of one’s body size. So, if you are very small size, do not get obsessed with getting bigger. Just find the right clothes that complement your body type.

If a FTM transgender guy has bigger hips that can also become a cause of concern while shopping for male apparel. Men’s trousers usually don’t have room for big hips. But it’s not impossible to find one that would sit well on your hips. So, no matter what, do not get conscious about your size. Always buy clothes that fit you well, even if that involves putting in a bit of extra hard work!

Just remember that if you buy trousers with the right cut, you can minimize the appearance of a heavy waist. Taper cut pants are also a suitable option for a FTM transgender guy with larger thighs.

Yet another trick is to move a size or two up with the waist but opt for a trend like skinny fit. This would make the trousers sit beautifully on your legs while hiding your waist.

So, whether you are a small guy or unusually big by general standards, do not get nervous and do not lose confidence. There are all sorts of sizes available these days. As long as you don’t get obsessed with the idea of forcefully trying to change your size or body type, you will be fine.

Your Clothes Should be Your Personal Statement

Now, everyone is unique. And that is precisely why no two people look the same, even if they have put on similar-looking clothes! As a FTM transgender guy, do not feel compelled to copy the fashion choices of cis guys or anyone else, for that matter. Create your own fashion statement.

Have fun with what you wear. If you like colours bring on the blues, reds, pinks, whatever! If you are enamoured by anime, video games, let your t-shirts showcase that side of yours. You don’t have to resign yourself to wearing boring whites and greys just because you want to project a certain male image.

As a FTM transgender guy, you are certainly projecting a male image. But one that’s uniquely you. And the man who is not afraid of being himself takes up his sexiness quotient by a few notches!

So just remember that your sartorial choices should be an extension of your personality.

Use Clothes with Patterns to Your Advantage

Now, this is a practical necessity.  As a FTM transgender guy, it is important to hide or camouflage any bumps on your chest. So, you have to super careful while wearing t-shirts with patterns or stripes.

A golden rule to follow in this case is: the more random or asymmetrical the pattern is, the better it is. A random or asymmetrical pattern with help you camouflage the bumps in your chest area better. When the pattern is not symmetrical, the human eye gets somewhat confused. Such a pattern would then not draw overt, exclusive attention to your chest area.

So, buying clothes with patterns is great. But you have to be careful as to what kind of patterns are these and if you can use the design to camouflage any bulge on your chest.

Check Out What FTM Trans Icons are Wearing

Now, this is an exercise that can be both fun and inspiring! You can check out the profiles of FTM trans icons on social media sites like Instagram and check out what they wear, how they carry themselves.

As a FTM transgender guy, following a celebrity who has probably had the same share of struggles as you can be a major confidence booster. There are times when we need role models to fall back on not because we are not sure of ourselves but simply because we perhaps need a new perspective to look at our own self.

Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.

What exactly is confidence?

Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:

 – Self-efficacy:

Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

 – Self-confidence:

Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.

 – Self-esteem:

While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.

Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.

Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?

Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.

As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.

So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.

Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again. 

Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.

While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.

Be a Friend to Yourself

Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.

When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.

Remember and Celebrate Your Successes

Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.

These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.

Remove Things That Bring You Down

Out of sight, out of mind –  this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.

Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.

Smile At Yourself In The Mirror

Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.

Improve Your Posture

Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.

Do Not Compare Yourself To Others

Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.

Take Risks

There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.

In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!

Be Persistent

At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.

On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.

Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.

If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to.