People are very good at reading body language. They can tell whether you are confident in yourself or if you are tense and nervous just by looking at you. Additionally, male and female body language has some distinct differences in style. As a result, it is important to know what kind of body language is attractive as an FTM transgender male. If you understand and practice attractive body language techniques, you will not only build your confidence but also enjoy an unrivaled masculine image.
Understanding what constitutes as male body language and knowing the influence it has on other people can be very advantageous, particularly when you are dealing with women. If you want a woman to find you irresistibly attractive, then you must know how to project attractive male body language. However, it is worth mentioning that body language is only part of the equation. You must also develop an attractive personality. Below are some tips that will teach you how to display an attractive male body language.
Have Good Posture
Although it may sound cliché, good posture is the first step to having attractive male body language. As an FTM trans guy, it is important to have a good body posture because it creates an aura of confidence around you. There is nothing more obviously unattractive than terrible posture. Slouching as you walk and sit will only show people that you do not have confidence. On the other hand, walking around with an elevated chest and shoulders back will certainly make you feel and look more attractive and manly.
Slow Down Your Movements
Men that display attractive body language are sure of themselves. Their body movements are often precise and calculated. As an FTM transgender male, you should also try to act like this. You should slow down your body movement, as this makes you look more confident and natural. Try to make your movements smooth and graceful. This does not mean you should walk like a tortoise. It simply means avoiding running around like a headless chicken.
Eye Contact
A key aspect of good body language for both men and women is eye contact. When conversing with other people, proper eye contact is one of the main things they will immediately notice. To be an alpha male, you need to know how to maintain proper eye contact with those you are talking with. Additionally, this will certainly get you more points when conversing with women. Looking down or averting your eyes when conversing with a lady will reveal a lack of confidence. On the other hand, never blinking or holding eye contact for too long can make your partner feel uncomfortable. You should learn the difference between staring and maintaining proper eye contact. Coupled with a smile, good eye contact will help you project attractive male body language.
When a transgender woman finally agrees to a first date, you will definitely be on cloud nine. However, now comes the tricky part: Where do you go on your first outing together? Being prepared for your first date is crucial to its success. The first date should be casual, but not so laid back that it seems unplanned.
Your first date with a transgender woman should give you a chance to chat and get to know each other more. Therefore, you should choose a place with a good atmosphere that gives the two of you a chance to converse freely. If you do not have any ideas for a good first date location, continue reading the following tips to find one.
Finding a Trans Girlfriend Online
This is the simple yet rewarding location for a first date. Choosing a good bar can be a little tricky, so choosing a location with a relaxed or intimate atmosphere is best. An ideal bar for the first date should be dimly lit and relatively quiet. This works well because it creates a good ambiance and actually allows you to hear each other during conversation.
Coffee Date
Meeting for coffee is another great first date idea. If you are on a tight budget, this is ideal because coffee is relatively inexpensive. The simplicity of a coffee date is another positive attribute because, with fewer variables, your date is more likely to end successfully. Given that coffee dates are almost always in the morning or afternoon, it makes things a bit more casual and friendly than an evening date. However, if you want to increase the romance, you can choose a coffee shop with a more intimate vibe.
Dinner At A Restaurant
A dinner date is one of the best ways to add a bit of romance to your first date with a transgender woman. Although this idea sounds like a no-brainer, many people actually get it wrong because they pick the wrong venue. For example, it is highly recommended that you avoid fancy restaurants because your date might expect nothing short of five-star treatment on every date. Keep things relatively casual, to begin with, and save the fancy places for special occasions.
Amusement Park
A day at an amusement park is another perfect first date idea. It provides you and your partner with plenty of time to talk and have fun. When people have fun, they tend to let their guard down. As a result, you will get to know more about your date as a person. Additionally, unlike the other ideas, being at an amusement park offers many opportunities for physical contact with your date.
Two-spirit is a gender that is found in only North American who fulfills one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many Native Americans and Canadian First Nations indigenous groups. The mixed gender roles encompassed by the term historically included wearing the clothing and performing the work associated with both men and women. This English term emerged in 1990 out of the third annual inter-tribal Native American/First Nations gay/lesbian American conference in Winnipeg.
A direct translation of the Ojibwe term, Niizh manidoowag, "two-spirited" or "two-spirit" is usually used to indicate a person whose body has a masculine spirit and a feminine spirit. The term can also be used more abstractly, to designate the presence of two contrasting human spirits or two contrasting animal spirits (which, depending on the culture, might be Eagle and Coyote). Will Roscoe writes that male and female berdaches have been "documented in over 130 tribes, in every region of North America, among every type of native culture."The term berdache was coined by western anthropologists and used until the late 20th century, mainly to describe feminine Native Americans assigned male at birth.
The term is however inaccurate and can nowadays be considered offensive. Non-natives who use this identity are often accused of "appropriating Native culture." The history of two-spirits among Indigenous American culture dates back thousands, of years and has been documented in more than 130 North American tribes. Throughout history, a person who was recognized as two-spirit was someone who identified with both male and female gender roles, and so two-spirit is essentially a third gender recognized in Indigenous cultures.
The perspective among Indigenous Americans was that having this third gender was a strength their society benefited from. In the Zuni culture, a person's gender was not assigned at birth but was grown into 3 or 4 years of age. Two-spirits were not thought of as just a man or just a woman but as embodying characteristics of both genders in a single person, making them a more whole human being.
This Two-Spirits encourages the belief that, by avoiding the pressures surrounding an individual, they are capable of establishing their own identity. This identity for native Two-Spirit individuals arises from an acceptance of their native cultural values and a rejection of Western values. This rejection specifically applies to Western conventions regarding race and sexual identity as the Two-Spirit person’s identity is maintained by their sexual orientation as both male and female and their commitment to their culture or ethnicity.
Gender Fluid
Awareness of multiple genders and sexual orientation has recently taken a limelight in the media, however misconceptions and stereotypes still linger because of this. Before we start to dive into this subject matter, it is important to know simple terms such as gender, intercourse, and sexuality. Gender is what people feel within themselves, according to cultural understandings. Such as girls are soft and compassionate, whilst men are less so. intercourse is a biological term which directly refers to the genitals one was born with. Sexuality is whom one is attracted to sexually and emotionally. This may or may not align with their gender.
Gender fluid is an identity that seems to be regularly mistaken. Gender fluid refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities. It is a gender identity which can be described as a mix of boy and girl. A person who is Gender Fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders but may feel more boy some days, and more girl other days. Being Gender Fluid has nothing to do with which set of genitalia one has, nor their sexual orientation. It is solemnly as what they feel like inside, and gender fluid people never seem to stick with a single gender identity.
Many celebrities consider themselves genderfluid, such as Miley Cyrus, Tilda Swinton, DJ Ruby Rose, and Andrej Peji?. Standards for each gender has been ever evolving, from more intense beliefs, to sneaky yet still beliefs.
One of the main misconceptions for people who are gender fluid is that their gender is nonexistent, however, an individual who is gender fluid experiences a constant shift between the gender spectrums. There are some people who fall under the Trans spectrum that do not feel dysphoric about their gender, but it is well known that most do. Gender Dysphoria is a feeling of your physical body not matching up with how you feel internally that it should be. Many people would describe the feeling of dysphoria in many different ways, though all of the ways that it is described make it clear that it is a negative feeling.
Many people who are gender fluid will date bisexual or pansexual people, those who are attracted to two genders or are attracted to people no matter what gender they are. Some people who are gender fluid will use pronouns other than he/him or she/her. Some will use the gender-neutral they/them, or another term that they choose and use regularly. Along with different pronouns, sometimes they will use gender-neutral terms for themselves while dating. Instead of having their significant other calling them their boyfriend/girlfriend, they will term such as “date mate” or even a term as simple as “partner” or “significant other”.
Many people who are gender fluid will often dress and appear as unisex or androgynous, though in some cases they will decide to mix objects that most would place within gender categories. A good example of that would be someone who decides to wear masculine appearing clothing, with makeup or another part of themselves appearing feminine.
It is recommended that when coming across a genderfluid person, that you politely ask what pronouns they would like to be referred as. Some people who experience fluid gender don't use the word "genderfluid" for themselves. Some people with fluid genders call themselves by a word such as genderqueer, bigender, multigender, polygender, or other words. This can be because the people haven't seen the word "genderfluid," or it can be because they don't think it describes them well. It's important to understand that each person has the right to decide what to call their gender identity and that they're the only one who can do that.
Some genderfluid people find that their environment does not influence their gender identity to change. They find that their gender fluidity is unpredictable and happens randomly. Other genderfluid people find that their gender changes depending on the situation, and is influenced by inside or outside sources. For genderfluid people who think their changes in gender might have to do with their menstrual cycle, they think it might be caused by how the natural hormone levels rise and fall during that cycle. It’s possible that a person might think that they tend to feel male during their periods even if that’s only rarely the case for them because the incongruence of that situation would feel noticeable and memorable.
The biggest thing to keep in mind for both sides of a relationship with someone who is gender fluid, whether that relationship is platonic or romantic, is being honest with each other about who you are and what you are looking for. Being open with a significant other can really be better for both people involved than one might think.
A FTM transgender guy is someone who is transitioning from female to male. People who are assigned female gender at birth but they strongly identity with the opposite gender are FTM transgender. They usually choose to undergo medical transition at some point in time. But there is no clear cute norm with regard to that. There are some who skip medical transitioning altogether.
Irrespective of whether they have undergone medical transitioning or not, it is very important for a FTM transgender guy that society perceives him as a man. If that does not happen, it can aggravate the feelings of gender dysphoria that already exist in him. And this is not good for his mental health. It is also important from a romantic point of view since sexuality is deeply connected to a person’s gender identity. So, if he wants to join a trans dating site or a FTM dating service, it is important that he is confident of his manly image.
For guys who choose to undergo the Hormone Replacement Therapy, it is relatively easier to pass off as a man. They usually get bi-weekly injections from the doctor. Besides, there are numerous other ways of getting injected with hormones; it can be through gels, patches and many other ways. Some FTM trans guys will also get testosterone treatment which will work on their faces in a way that gives them a more masculine appearance. It would also make their voices somewhat heavy and manly.
Then, there are some who would choose to go even a step further and undergo chest reconstruction surgery. This surgery specifically flattens out the chest area to give the chest a masculine appearance. Then, there is the bottom surgery performed in order to remove the vagina and create a penis for the transgender man.
However, there are some who choose not to have these treatments for certain reasons. And for such trans men, passing as a man in public might be a bit more challenging. Then most FTM trans guys start coming out even before medical transitioning. This is important because you can’t just wait for the treatment to show effects and then come out. You got to tell society that you are a guy even before.
The whole process of coming out as a man publicly can be quite intimidating for a FTM transgender guys. But with certain tips, you can conveniently pass as the guy that you already are.
Use a Binder
The biggest source of gender dysphoria in FTM transgender guys is the chest area unless they have had the top surgery, of course. So as a trans man, if you haven’t had the top surgery yet and want to flatten out your chest area, the best option for you is to buy a medical binder.
Medical chest binders are easily available online and come in many different styles. There are also plenty of commercial chest binders available in the market these days. It is important to buy the right size though. If you bind your chest using a binder that is a bit too small, it might create difficulties in breathing and you will end up having pain in your shoulders and back.
Trans men who don’t quite want to go for a medical binder can also bind their chest using a sports bra. In fact, using a sports bra is quite a safe way to bond your chest with minimal risk of side effects or injuries. Some FTM trans guys would also use layering to bind their chest using a shirt or bra layering.
However, according to experts, you should not wear binders for longer than 8-12 hours. Also, you should avoid sleeping while wearing your binder. It is also important to have a day off in between once in a while. You have to make sure that you aren’t binding everyday in order to avoid any side effects.
Following these tips, you can happily use a binder to flatten out your chest area. And this will certainly increase your confidence and make people notice you as a man when you are out there in public.
Make use of the Packing Technique
Now, packing is a technique that trans guys make use of to give the illusion of a penis. It basically involves putting something in your pants to mimic the appearance of the bulge created by male genitalia.
Packing is a great way to enhance the self-confidence of a FTM transgender guy who hasn’t had the bottom surgery as yet and increases his chances of passing as a man. After all, sexuality is a very important part of your new gender identity. So, it is natural that you want to simulate the whole experience of having male genitalia.
These days there are so many commercial packers available online. These packers come in different materials and varieties including silicone. And the best thing is they are more or fewer replicas of male genitalia. However, for a trans guy who is new to the whole experience of packing, it is best to try a simple technique first. He can just use a rolled-up sock and place it properly at the right spot inside his pants. It’s way cheaper than using a commercial packer and he can try it out and decide for himself if he likes the whole experience or not.
Learn to Project a Masculine Appearance
This is the key to passing as a male in society. With pro masculine body language, your chances of passing as a man increase dramatically.
The first step of building this masculine image of yours as a FTM trans man is to get used to wearing a man’s clothes. When it comes to clothing, everyone has a different approach that suits them. Some trans guys like to go with oversized clothing to get that super manly look. If you perhaps wear a shirt size larger than usual, your shoulders might look bigger and slightly bulkier. But there is no rule really. Well, fitted clothes can also give the impression of a chiseled, toned masculine body.
The important thing is to find men’s clothes that go with your personality and eventually develop your own style. Once you start getting used to male clothing, behaving as a man will also start coming naturally to you. You can also check out profiles of trans guys on transgender dating websites and see what they are wearing.
Now again, there is no manual really that can teach you how to behave like a man. You just have to closely observe men in public places – the way they walk, the way they sit, how they move their head while talking, the tone of their voice while they are speaking. You can also interact with other trans men through a transgender forum and take their advice.
To begin with, one thing that a FTM transgender guy can focus on is sitting. Generally speaking, men tend to literally spread their legs wide apart while sitting. They sit in a very authoritarian position taking up a lot of space with legs as wide as possible. So, this is something that you can begin practicing as a trans man. It is easy to remember and also simple to practice.
Do not feel compelled to fit into a Box
As a FTM transgender guy, the way you want to protect yourself is totally your call. It depends on your personality and orientation. Many trans men have fluid general identities, that is they are Pansexual. Now Pan Sexuality can be defined as a sexual or romantic attraction towards anybody irrespective of their gender identity. So, if you classify yourself as a pansexual trans guy, then you lay down your own rules. You don’t necessarily need to then get into the entire masculine discourse of heterosexuality.
A FTM trans guy can also prefer to date gay men. Or he may prefer to go the cis guy way, dating heterosexual women through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app. So, one has to understand that even as a FTM transgender guy, one can have fluid gender identities and that’s totally cool. The way a trans man wants to project himself is totally his call. He might just want to meet single women through FTM trans dating site or a transgender dating app or he might just want to date gay men.
Get Inspired from the Lives of Well-Known Trans Men
There are so many trans men icons who have fought societal prejudices and stereotypes to emerge a winner and live a successful and fulfilling life. If you want happiness, you have to go through the grind and find it out. You just can’t run away from problems and struggles. A FTM transgender man can take inspiration from the lives of famous and successful trans men. This will do wonders to his own image as a trans man and show him the way forward. You can go through a transgender blog to gain insight into the lives of famous trans men.
So many movies have been made about the lives of trans men. There are also movies starring trans men. Most of these movies depict the problems faced by transgender youth. These offer a realistic peep into the world of trans men.
There was the iconic movie ‘Becoming Chaz’ that was released in 2011. This movie was based on the life of Chaz Bono, the son of Cher, who has also penned down a book on his multiple experiences as a transgender man.
Then there is the 1999 movie ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ based on the life story of Brandon Teena, a young trans man who was murdered in 1993. And it’s so important to mention the contribution made by the legendary Buck Angle in the field of trans awareness. He is a filmmaker, speaker and advocate. He also stars in a documentary made about his own life.
Then there are other famous movies incorporating trans issues such as Just (2002), Call me Kade, Boy I Am (2006) and About Ray (2015).
As a trans man, it is very important to know all about various issues faced by transgender folks and how so many trans heroes have fought out these issues. As a FTM trans guy, you can also join an online transgender forum and communicate with other trans men.
All this will increase your awareness of trans issues and strengthen your identity as a trans man. Knowing that there are so many like you who have fought societal prejudices and emerged a winner, you will no longer be afraid to live out your identity.
How often have you seen someone exuding confidence and thought to yourself, I wish I could feel like that? Walking about feeling safe and secure in your skin, being certain of your place in the world, and your identity as an FTM transgender individual – if that seems out of your reach, you aren’t alone.
Chances are, you want to not simply survive but thrive as a trans guy, both in private and on online dating sites for transgender folks and allies. While there are many tools you need to have in your metaphorical self-care kit, building confidence is chief among them.
What exactly is confidence?
Before we dive into a list of tips and suggestions on how you can build it, we first need to define what we mean when talking about confidence. Self-confidence often overlaps or is used as a synonym for self-esteem or self-efficacy. While there are similarities, it is interesting to note the differences, too:
– Self-efficacy:
Refers to your belief about your own abilities regarding specific tasks. Self-efficacy basically is the real-life concept that corresponds with the famous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
– Self-confidence:
Meanwhile, reflects your general belief about how likely you are to fulfill a goal. Your past experiences play a huge role in both self-efficacy and self-confidence, but self-confidence refers to a broader view instead of focusing on specific tasks.
– Self-esteem:
While often used interchangeably with self-confidence, is quite different from it. Self-esteem reflects your belief in your overall worth as a person. Viewing yourself as a “good guy” is a statement of self-esteem, for instance. In that, it is even broader than self-confidence, and improving your confidence will help your esteem, too.
Obviously, the lines between them are blurry, and there is no linear trajectory you can follow. You may have enough confidence to think you’re capable of learning to make bread, yet at the same time lack self-efficacy and you assume your first attempts will be horrible. And whether or not you can bake a killer loaf, you hopefully still think that you deserve love and happiness.
Why is building confidence essential for FTM trans guys?
Insecurities and self-doubt are core components of ill mental health and poor well-being, so finding ways to improve your confidence will definitely help you.
As a trans guy, whether you identify as FTM, genderqueer, nonbinary butch, or else, building self-confidence can be especially tough. Questioning societal standards and stereotypes of what it means to be “manly” and finding your own way takes a lot of energy, perseverance, and yes, confidence.
So how do you build it? Think of it as a muscle: you need to train it to strengthen it.
Here are several useful tips you can choose from and try for yourself. See what works for you and maintain it until it becomes second-nature to you. Your confidence will never falter again.
Understand Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Even if the mean voices in your head (or on the internet) want to tell you otherwise, everyone has unique skills, both hard and soft, as well as talents in various areas of your life. Likewise, you will have areas in your life you do not excel at.
While many of these will remain the same after your female-to-male transition, some may have changed. As a rule of thumb, make sure that you know what you are good at and what your weaknesses are. Once you understand these areas, you will have a clearer mental image of yourself and what you will need to improve your self-confidence.
Be a Friend to Yourself
Unfortunately, some FTM trans men are their own worst enemy. It is impossible to build your self-confidence if you are the one constantly putting yourself down. If you want confidence and high self-esteem, you need to foster an attitude of love and acceptance.
When a negative thought arises, ask yourself: “Would I say this to about my best friend to their face?” Catching yourself when your inner voice turns self-deprecating is the first step to stop the habit. Once you notice it, actively work against it. If you think, for example, “I didn’t manage all I wanted to do today, I’m such a loser”, and notice it, tell yourself that you are human and some things take more time than anticipated. You tried, and that’s what’s important.
Remember and Celebrate Your Successes
Please steer clear of grievous mistakes like downplaying your success or only focusing on what you are struggling with. Such an attitude will not help you build self-confidence. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only drag you further down. However, if you create a habit of celebrating your successes (no matter how small they are), you will soon feel more confident.
These celebrations can take various forms: taking a walk for yourself, giving yourself a break to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, spending time with a friend to cheer for your achievement, or simply giving yourself the satisfaction of crossing the item off your to-do list for the day.
Remove Things That Bring You Down
Out of sight, out of mind – this affects reminders of your shortcomings or of negative experiences as well. Be sure to hide or get rid of items that evoke negative thoughts when you see them.
Beyond the shirt you wore to that horrible breakup, these things can be as varied as mean friends, a job you hate, or a habit you have gotten into. Reflect on the impact these have on your life and eliminate them for good.
Smile At Yourself In The Mirror
Looking at your reflection can go a long way in helping you accept yourself. When you do, be sure to smile. If you do this every day, you will feel happier and more secure in yourself over time due to something called “facial feedback theory”. The expression on your face has been shown to help your brain register and intensify the emotions it perceives on your face.
Improve Your Posture
Just like smiling at yourself, sitting up straighter, or striking a “power pose” has been proven to boost confidence in studies. It might feel awkward at first, but remember that stepping outside your comfort zone is a core component of your journey towards more self-confidence.
Do Not Compare Yourself To Others
Every person is unique. Just because this FTM person achieves a very masculine appearance and maybe has better muscle definition than you does not mean you have ‘failed’ at being FTM. You differ in your genetics, your socio-economic backgrounds, and much more – focus on yourself and don’t measure your progress against that of others. Easier said than done, sure, but so essential to keep in mind.
Take Risks
There is no better way of building self-confidence than taking risks. Taking risks shows – mainly to yourself – that you are confident in yourself and your abilities. If you now think you have to do something scary or dangerous to achieve this, think again: Simply getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new counts as a risk in terms of building self-confidence.
In essence, this point is all about living your life to the fullest. Take a moment to reflect on what you would like to try and do. Learn how to skateboard? Sign up for a transgender dating site? Strike up a conversation with a friendly-looking stranger? Sure, you might find that you do not like the outcome of something you do, but you may forever regret not giving yourself the opportunity to try. Your self-confidence will definitely thank you!
Be Persistent
At the end of the day, there is no miracle cure for low self-confidence. There is no pill you take or action steps you follow once and overnight, you are filled to the brim with confidence. It truly takes time and effort to build up. Therefore, you should be persistent, see mistakes your make as learning opportunities to help you avoid repeating them in the future, and never give up. If you lose sight of the journey, don’t beat yourself up. Life happens, we get busy. Simply get back on track and resume your self-confidence practice.
On a final note, if you are struggling with self-confidence and do not know where to start, find a trusted friend with whom you can share your troubles. Having a strong support system will help you be more confident and give you the foundation you need to begin building confidence on your own.
Get ready for the most fun you’ve had in forever! Once you feel confident enough, it’s time to sign up for an ftm dating site. There are many transgender dating apps out there, and platforms that facilitate online dating for trans women, men, and others have increased. You have ample space to search for other trans singles or trans allies who are looking for a serious relationship.
If chatting with potential dates is outside your comfort zone… treat it as practice for your self-confidence boosting journey! You might find the perfect partner without expecting to.
When you start, online dating holds a lot of excitement: Here you are, on a ts dating site , about to dive into an ocean of possible matches. Especially for those who are not yet committed to any relationship that is romantic in nature, the ‘hunt’ part of online dating comes with its unique sense of thrill.
Too bad that for most people, connecting with potential partners via ts dating apps or platforms has its limits. Who doesn’t know the feeling when the exciting chatter with a new match or contact gives way to tedious and monotonous discussions of topics you’ve covered again and again? In case you are new to online dating, be prepared to make such experiences.
While chatting online with people you cannot see, communicating only via text messages and emojis, can become boring very quickly due to the nature of the conversation, another risk you face every time you open your ts dating app is the ‘what’ you talk about. Too many times, a lovely and wonderful meeting in the virtual room of a site has devolved into tedious accounts of the respective person’s day. If there were a rewards or points program that gave you a penny each time someone asks you, after a gap in communication, “How are you?” or “How was your day?”, we would all be millionaires already.
Don’t misunderstand, though: Sharing details about your day and your life has its place in online dating. How someone replies to “How was your day?” tells you a lot about what this person values in life.
Yet if they say the same thing for three days in a row, or their replies grow shorter by the minute, then you know you have hit boredom territory.
Since yes, chances are high that your date or chatting partner also shares this sense of listlessness while engaging with you. If you don’t act now, you might ruin what could have been the start of a great romantic journey for yourself. Therefore, you have to ensure that you keep every online date you have as memorable and fun as possible, both for your sake and your partner’s.
Easier said than done, however. There is a certain degree of creativity needed in order to spice up your conversations, especially if you haven’t seen the hide nor hair of the person you are talking to. And while you might consider yourself quite the open-minded, flexible person who could excel at an improv class if these were still a thing (at least in person), you might eventually run out of ideas as well.
This is why we have gathered a list of tips that can help you turn those monotonous conversations into memorable and delightful moments of the budding romance.
Tips on how to get creative with trans dating online:
– Share meaningful details
When the inevitable question of “How are you?” or “How was your day?” arrives in your inbox, consider one-word replies banned for life. Think about the reasons instead: Why do you want to say you’re fine? Why was your day just okay, as opposed to great or wonderful? Add these tidbits to your answer. Being honest will motivate your online dating partner to reply in kind.
– Speaking of honesty: be truthful
You signed up for this transgender dating app or this trans dating site to find a real connection and long-term romantic partnership. Leave the posing and flexing for hook-up culture. Admit to driving an ancient car because it is more fiscally responsible. Own your career trajectory, wherever it has led. Share your struggles with your identity (especially on dating sites for transgender women, men, and other folks). Only if you are honest will you find people who share your values and outlook on life, which is the basis for a successful relationship.
– Ask questions
Even if you are nervous or unsure if it is okay with the other person to simply pose questions, this will help get conversations going. Most people love talking about themselves, so seize that to your advantage. Think about what you would most like to know and start with that.
– Think of new topics to talk about
Yes, this might be a no-brainer, but all too often, online chats are centered on just telling each other what you have done for the day. If you go for this strategy every time, both you and your date are going to lose interest soon enough. So off you go! Find new topics that are interesting enough to help you talk with your date at length and with vibrancy. The first and best place to start is, of course, the other person’s profile. Check out their interests and hobbies. If none are listed, put on your detective hat and inspect the photos they uploaded. Look for the context, and ask about it.
– Use outside resources
Once you have exhausted the new topics you thought about, there is nothing wrong with involving outside help. This can come in the form of a fun news article or blog post that caught your eye, or simply a trailer for a new series or the announcement of a new album by a band you or your chatting partner cares about. You will be surprised how such a little gesture can bring you closer together and kick-start a passionate discussion.
– Expand your repertoire
As in, surprise your dates once in a while! Show them something they do not expect to see when you start the chat. It may be a video of you singing their favorite song, or a photo of your pet (or child) delivering a thoughtful or funny message. By sprinkling in surprises into your online dating chats, your potential partners will always look forward to receiving a notification that they have a new message. It might also, in turn, inspire them to reply in kind and think of surprises for you.
– Embrace your inner child
Not necessarily by talking about your childhood interests (although that can be a fascinating topic all on its own), but by being silly together. Yes, even when you are only conversing online you can have fun with antics and banter. You can post photos of yourself wearing crazy headpieces and costumes. You can play games as if you are together. You can compete with each other about who can tell or find the funnier jokes. Do not think that, just because finding love online is a serious topic, that you need to stay ‘on brand’ with that tone all throughout your online dating experience.
– Go beyond simple chatting
Of course, you will want to limit your online dates to messaging or the occasional voice message at the beginning. Yet once you are comfortable and, most importantly, have established a foundation of trust with the other person, make use of the many opportunities that technology has already developed. Hop on a video call – or plan on for a time that fits both you and your date’s schedules – and allow your match to hear your voice and see your face. This would help you carry on conversations for a long time without becoming easily tired of having to type everything you want to say. Needless to say, this also opens up your dates to new possibilities, like a shared dinner over video chat or a game you both enjoy.
– Flirt!
Seriously, get that charm on and use it to your advantage. Only if that is your talent, though. Awkward moments are inevitable, but you don’t need to ask for them. As an alternative, simply be your nicest self. Respect the other person and show you appreciate them taking the time to engage with you.
As you can see, there are so many ways through which you can improve your experience on ts dating sites. You do not have to limit yourself just because the nature of online dating has you taking through a keyboard without a visual of the other person. Be creative and let your mind rule over your physical boundaries.
But hang on… how do you know what is the right strategy to use?
A valid question, the answer to which depends on the respective situation. Think about how your date engages with you and determine which vibe you are getting from them. Serious or playful? Cheery or restrained? This can give you an idea of how to start being more creative with online dating. Once you have begun, do not be afraid to experiment. Try out different approaches and see how your potential partner reacts. This will help you practice, give you more insight into the person you are communicating with, and help filter out those who definitely don’t fit your expectations.
And hey, if you have exhausted all options and are at the end of your list of ideas, it might be time to genuinely take the experience offline! Sure, that’s another thing that is so easily said but poses challenges when it comes to execution. But if you apply the same creativity to this step, you will certainly find a way that fits both your and your date’s lives and personalities.
Let’s be honest: online dating can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it allows you to meet a large number of potential matches with minimal effort, and a curse because it comes with its own, extensive set of complications.
One of the benefits of meeting a TS woman on a transgender dating site is that you’ll get an excellent opportunity to get to know her personality without physical appearance being too much of a focus. Aren’t we all a lot more relaxed when conversing with people on Trans Dating Apps, rather than in person? The privacy of your own home lends itself to many great chats.
Once you’ve clicked with your potential date, it is important you get to know each other. During this time, ask relevant questions when you chat with her or them on the transgender dating site of your choice. “Her or them”– asking about pronouns is a very respectful way to start, for example. While many trans women use female pronouns, not all do. It is wise that you get into a mindset of never assuming you know the answer when talking with your match and to have meaningful conversations. After all, both of you are after something long-term and real. Ensure you set a solid foundation for mutual respect and honesty. Your conversations online will help you build a rapport before going out on the first date. Knowing more about her likes, dislikes, aspirations, and dreams builds trust and will prove crucial for surviving your first date.
However, it is the date itself where the fun begins. Meeting a person for the first time can be a nerve-wracking experience, even for the most confident of individuals, and regardless of gender. Fear not, though – in order to make sure that all goes smoothly between you and your match, this article will provide a survival guide for your first date with a transgender woman.
Get Rid of the Pre-Date Nerves
While being nervous prior to a first date is completely understandable, too much nervousness can have a negative impact on your date. You might start babbling too much due to your nerves, stop listening to her questions and replies, and make a fool out of yourself in some way or another.
Of course, whoever you connected with on the ts dating site might face the same problem. You can safely assume, however, that they will do their best as well to rein in their nerves before meeting you.
One way to reduce your apprehension is by simply distracting yourself with something interesting before the date begins. If you like to hit the gym, do so a few hours before your date in order to keep pre-date jitters at bay. The following shower or bath provides a wonderful chance to prepare yourself in terms of attire.
Reading a book, watching a video or episode of your current favorite show can also help distract you from nervousness.
If neither of these ideas resonates with you, it might be a good idea to do some housework. Clean the room you’ve been procrastinating on, do laundry or reorganize shelves and cupboards – the manual tasks will certainly soothe your nerves.
The trick, basically, is to keep yourself preoccupied so that you avoid overthinking your situation, that is the upcoming first date with a trans woman. Eliminating pre-date nerves will help you feel relaxed and prepare you to have a good time when the date begins.
Prepare Accordingly
Speaking of preparation: A successful first date involves some level of preparation for what you are about to experience. This holds true both on the physical and emotional levels.
In terms of physical appearance, ensure that you are well dressed in a way that suits the context of your date. While clean, comfortable clothes are perfect for casual walks in the park, a dinner date or first meeting for coffee might require more refined attire. Hitting the sweet spot with clothing can be tough, and the fear of being over-or underdressed might cause you ample anxiety before your date. In that case, why not reach out to friends and ask them for help? They will certainly be more than happy to assist you in choosing the right outfit for your first date with a transgender woman.
Emotional preparation includes planning the topics you want to discuss with your date. Brainstorm a little: What did you talk about when you were still chatting on the ts dating app or transgender dating site? Can you follow up on any topics, or expand your interest in others she mentioned? Also, think about yourself: What would you like to share about your day, your week, your life? What strikes you as important for a potential partner to know? When you are well prepared, conversations will run smoothly and you will feel a lot more charming and confident. This will certainly carry over to how your date perceives you.
Arrive On Time
Being late is a total turn off for many people, whether or not they are transgender or cis. So yes, plan diligently when it comes to your journey prior to the date. Do not forget to take into account weekday fluctuations in traffic and check reports earlier to ensure you do not miss any news about road closures or cancellations of public transport.
If you must be late for any reason, whether or not it is your fault, make sure to call or text your date to tell them that you won’t be able to make it on time. Additionally, you should have the decency to apologize to your date once you arrive in person and try to make up for your lateness. If your date has spent their time waiting for you, then you had better be worth the wait.
Enjoy the Date
Of course, we all want to have fun during our first date! Sometimes, however, we are too nervous or preoccupied with how we come across or how the other person perceives us to remember that we are on a date and should be enjoying the time.
If that is the case, don’t shy away from admitting to it. Showing the self-awareness to say “I’m sorry, I’m really nervous right now” will prove your sincerity and open up the date to a more intimate connection. Anyone who joins a dating site for transgender women, men, and others will have their share of negative experiences that undoubtedly influence how they feel about going on a first date with someone. Being open about this will create a safer space for both you and your match.
Enjoying the date also includes flirting and trying to make your date laugh. You can be as silly as feels natural to you – after all, your potential partner wants to get to know you, not the facade you think you need to project.
Be careful with complaints. If you find the date’s venue to be awful, don’t spend all the time dwelling on this. This will make you come off as a negative person. You could instead suggest a change in location if you think so strongly about it. This will make you seem pro-active.
At all times you should be civil, polite, and open-minded. Listen when she answers your questions and be honest when replying to inquiries into your own life. Telling the truth is always the best policy, although doing so with tact and kindness will leave an even better impression.
Ending the First Date
Knowing when to end the first date can be quite difficult. Saying goodbye to someone you have not known for long can be awkward.
You can alleviate this by thinking of how to end the date on a positive note in advance: Do you want to accompany her to her car, or her train or bus? When bidding goodbye, consider how you can show that you truly enjoyed her company and want to see her again.
One thing to avoid is a rushed departure. If you have an appointment or commitment to attend to after your date, even if it’s just your bedtime because the next day is a workday, don’t let the time catch you by surprise. Remain aware of how late it is so you can guide the date to a natural end that leaves both of you feeling content and appreciated.
Follow up
Last but not least, it is highly recommended to follow up after a first date. You might test her when you arrive back home or wish her a good night after thanking her for a great time.
If she beats you to it, reply in kind and signal that you want to make plans for a second date. No need to rush a decision that day, but showing her that you are more interested than before will help cement the foundation you both are building for a long-term romantic relationship.
Facial hair is considered an attractive part of masculinity. The stereotype of the super ripped and rugged hyper-masculine guy with that formidable beard is like the main stuff of masculine folklore. But times are changing and the metrosexual guy with just a bit of stubble or even no facial hair is making his presence felt. Many trans guys still seem to be stuck in the age-old complex though that it’s mandatory to sport facial hair in order to look like a guy.
Nothing can be farther from the truth. How many cis guys you have seen who have facial hair? Not all of them obviously. There is a certain percentage of cis guys who have prominent facial hair while others might have little or none. While growing facial hair will certainly complement your appearance, it shouldn’t be like a do or die situation.
Because of the enormous pressure that trans men face in order to grow facial hair, a number of myths have sprung up regarding this. When you are desperate for something, you become vulnerable and then you are prone to trying out anything that promises you the thing you are after.
This article sets out to debunk certain myths about how to grow facial hair in transgender men. Let’s take a look at these myths one by one.
Myth – Certain Facial Products Can Help You Grow a Beard
Reality Check
There are many claims circulating around those facial products like Minoxidil can help a FTM transgender guy grow a beard. In fact, these claims propagate those particular facial products can actually play an important role in the growth of facial hair. The reality is there is absolutely no scientific basis to these claims. There is no evidence to support these claims. As a matter of fact, facial hair growth is largely determined by genetics. Look into your family history and see if your father or uncles sport a beard. It is largely your genes that determine the extent of your facial hair growth.
As a FTM trans guy, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of such a myth because you are obsessed with the idea of growing a beard. It’s obvious that you are willing to try out anything that promises you one.
But you need to use a little bit of rationality and common sense and realize that a beard will not grow overnight by some magic wand of a product. Just trust your doctor. If you are undergoing hormone replacement therapy and your genes support the growth of facial hair, you will definitely see results soon. Just have patience. Growing a beard takes time.
You have to be prepared for the scenario that you might not develop any facial hair at all. Don’t let this impact your self-esteem. There are so many other markers of manliness. As a result of medical transitioning and hormone therapy, your face is looking more masculine, you are developing muscles and you are confidently embracing men’s clothing. Celebrate all these wonderful things about your masculine identity rather than fretting about something that’s not in your control.
Myth – Taking Testosterone Promotes Facial Hair Growth
Reality Check
Reality check – Now, this is a very dangerous myth. It can actually have hazardous consequences on your health. The male hormone testosterone should be only taken in quantities prescribed by the doctor. If you overdose yourself with this hormone, it might have serious complications for your health. Testosterone by itself does not promote hair growth. Do not fall into the trap of making this simplistic cause and effect analysis that since it’s the most important male hormone, taking more of it would help you develop typical make characteristics like facial hair. If that were the case, all cis guys naturally having a high level of testosterone would be walking around with long beards!
The testosterone dosage that you are given during the Hormone Replacement Therapy, that itself will sufficiently aid the development of facial hair if your genetics support it. If you are unable to grow a beard, that’s alright too. Don’t risk your health and well-being for something that’s clearly beyond your control.
More importantly, don’t let superficial characteristics of masculinity determine your self-worth. Your identity is a lot more than a beard or facial hair. It’s more important that you feel like a man. Start dating someone through a trans dating site. Being with a woman who admires you and finds you attractive would make you feel way manlier than any amount of facial hair could ever do.
If you are still unhappy about not being able to grow a beard, check out trans male icons on the internet. You could check out their profiles on social media sites like Instagram. By taking a look at their personalities and style statement, your own sense of self-worth as a FTM transgender guy will increase manifold. And you will also notice that not all of them sport beards and yet, they are some of the hottest and most sought-after men around!
Myth – Shaving Promotes Beard Growth
Reality Check
This is yet another myth doing the rounds. Many FTM trans guys seem to think that shaving more and more would make their facial hair grow faster and thicker. Nothing can be farther from the truth. There is absolutely no scientific evidence to support the claim that shaving promotes beard growth. On the contrary, it will just ruin whatever little growth you have. So, if you are growing a beard at a super slow pace, just be patient and you will see some results sooner or later. Do not rush into shaving.
This point cannot be reiterated more that do not make facial hair growth an ego issue. It is not the ultimate sign of your masculinity. Embrace other manifestations of your masculinity like dressing, grooming, dating, relationships, etc. Check out specific avenues for trans men dating. Do not let something as arbitrary as the absence or presence of facial hair define your masculinity.
If you are unable to grow a beard and are totally freaked out and traumatized, consider joining a transgender forum. Talk to other FTM transgender guys out there. Mutual sharing of experiences would help you understand that it’s not a big deal to be not able to grow facial hair.
If nothing works out and not being able to grow facial hair is making you feel depressed and miserable, you could consider getting a facial hair transplant. Many medical establishments offer this surgery and it is getting increasingly popular. Although, it is strongly advised that a FTM transgender guy waits for at least a year after the initiation of hormone therapy if they are considering a facial hair implant. This would enable the surgeons to give you a more targeted treatment and concentrate on regions in your face that are in maximum need of facial hair.
Although before taking any decision, you must do ample research from your end regarding the details of this surgery or if there are any possible complications or side effects. Only after you’ve undertaken a comprehensive and impartial assessment from your side, should you reach a final decision. Take your doctor into confidence as well; the one who is giving you hormone therapy. To be honest, they are the best person to advise on this matter that you need a facial hair transplant or not.
Beard Transplantation is also a popular technique within plastic surgery. Many cis men who are unable to grow a beard because of their genetic characteristics but desire one also opt for this procedure. Although the disclaimer for all these procedures is that you need to ideally have sufficient healthy hair on your scalp because that’s from where the hair is taken.
If you are a FTM transgender guy wanting to grow a beard and your genes do not favour it, you could consider these cosmetic surgery procedures. But you have to be very careful and make sure that such a treatment does not interfere with any other procedures you are undergoing, as part of medical transitioning. Give it some time. Do not take a decision in a jiffy.
Try and focus on other aspects of your masculinity. Exercise, eat well, maintain good personal hygiene and just generally be well-groomed. This routine, along with the hormone replacement therapy should work well for your masculine appearance. Some people even choose to undergo facial masculinization surgery in order to make their faces more masculine and chiselled. If you still think that beard is an inseparable part of your masculine identity, consider a facial hair transplant. But weigh the pros and cons well before deciding to undergo the procedure. Also, make sure you are getting it done from a reputed place where the surgeon has expertise in this particular surgery. Always check out the reviews of a medical establishment before you choose it for treatment. Try finding out if there is anyone from your own circle of friends and acquaintances who have opted for a beard surgery. Ask for their feedback and review.
If you just started dating a trans woman or you just started talking on a transsexual dating site, your first conversations are very important. You will have to get to know each other and start to realize if you are meant to be together or not. This can be a lot more difficult than it actually seems. So while you start talking with your match on an MTF dating site you should think good about the topics you touch.
Don’t Go Deep
You shouldn’t go too deep in the personal life of your potential lover from the first time you interact on a trans dating website. Ask them about their hobbies and what they are looking for in a man. And decide if you can meet their expectations in an honest way.
There is so much more to a relationship than physical attraction but your intimacy will also be very important. Once you decide that you can have common hobbies, you will be able to move forward to a new level in your relationship. As long as you stay honest and you are genuinely interested in your match, you will end up with a great relationship.
Know Your Boundaries
Don’t expect too much – Think that you go on a date just to meet a new friend with only this in your mind, “Who knows? He is the one!” If you have carefully assessed that the person is not what you want then just finish the date happily without regret.
Set your time to a minimum – Don’t date the whole day. The excitement to see you again will be lost.
Leave – If your date shows rudeness to you then why continue? Walk away with head’s up high.
Enjoy the Date
In a nutshell, you need to have some knowledge about what transsexuality is before dating a transsexual woman. Some quick online research would help you have a basic understanding of what being transgender really means. When you understand certain concepts, such as gender dysphoria, you will be more than ready to date a trans woman.